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1000 things we've learned from video games

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RoyalArchetype The Dread and Terrible from The Dark Dimension
The Dread and Terrible
Apr 22nd 2012 at 8:24:56 PM

92. With the proper application of science, even lemons turn into incendiary devices.

edited 22nd Apr '12 8:25:15 PM by RoyalArchetype

Masquerading, the grey vultures coalesce in black swan songs of the dead.
DragonGeyser The Chew Toy of Gaming from a computer, DUH.
The Chew Toy of Gaming
Apr 24th 2012 at 7:40:02 PM

92a. ANYTHING can be used as a lethal weapon. Full stop. Even a fruit.

Lampshade Hanging: It's a lifestyle.
GameChainsaw The Shadows Devour You. from sunshine and rainbows!
The Shadows Devour You.
Apr 25th 2012 at 2:11:02 AM

92ai: Aladdins Corollary: You can make a guards pants fall down by throwing fruit at them. (Very old game reference.)

edited 25th Apr '12 2:12:18 AM by GameChainsaw

The term "Great Man" is disturbingly interchangeable with "mass murderer" in history books.
Prometheus136 What's eatin' you, chief? from Yoknapatawpha County Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
What's eatin' you, chief?
Jul 17th 2012 at 1:47:29 PM

  • 96. Frag grenades- despite being filled with shrapnel- do not give off any shrapnel and if you are out of its reach (about... 10 feet) you will not be harmed in the least.

  • 97. Med kits instantly restore any injury sustained when walked over.

  • 98. If you get a limb shot off you either die instantly (even if an arm or leg) or die in a few seconds. You don't bleed out in a few minutes or simply pass out.

  • 99. Sniper rifles, semi automatic rifles, and single shot guns in general do much more damage than their automatic counterparts, even if they fire the same kind of round.

edited 17th Jul '12 1:48:01 PM by Prometheus136

War is God.
GearLeader from Dota Hell Relationship Status: Married to the job
Jul 17th 2012 at 2:21:47 PM

100. Medgel fixes all wounds, except in the third installment.

101. Being struck by lighting makes you small.

102. If you are married, expect him/her to die really soon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXkI1sTDoEg
RJSavoy Reymmă from Edinburgh Relationship Status: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
TailsDoll I have a plan.
Journeyman Overlording the Underworld from On a throne in a vault overlooking the Wasteland
Overlording the Underworld
Jul 17th 2012 at 4:42:36 PM

105: If you don't like how history turns out, you can reset the Universe and try again. (ANY strategy game ever, especially the historical ones.)

106: One person really can kill armies, especially if that one person knows magic words that do awesome and powerful things. Like Control H! (Heal code for Mount and Blade. tongue)

ZeikHunter Master of None from a bitchin'-ass hat
Master of None
Jul 17th 2012 at 7:03:02 PM

107. Nobody needs to die forever, unless it's a major plot twist.

edited 17th Jul '12 7:03:12 PM by ZeikHunter

You want me to heal AND kill? Alright...
DragonGeyser The Chew Toy of Gaming from a computer, DUH.
The Chew Toy of Gaming
Jul 17th 2012 at 7:08:22 PM

107a. This does not mean that one CANNOT die for good, so stay sharp.

Lampshade Hanging: It's a lifestyle.
ZeikHunter Master of None from a bitchin'-ass hat
Master of None
Jul 17th 2012 at 7:10:45 PM

108. < See this? It's symbolism. See also: thing 666, thing 777, and thing 256.

edited 17th Jul '12 7:11:04 PM by ZeikHunter

You want me to heal AND kill? Alright...
Prometheus136 What's eatin' you, chief? from Yoknapatawpha County Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
What's eatin' you, chief?
Jul 17th 2012 at 7:23:49 PM

109: Good writing is hard to come by.

110: When in doubt, churn out generic military first person shooter.

War is God.
Journeyman Overlording the Underworld from On a throne in a vault overlooking the Wasteland
Overlording the Underworld
Jul 18th 2012 at 7:55:00 AM

111: If you write a well-done game, or even just a wonderful character, people will roleplay the Heck out of that character in any game they can.

112: If you write said character, people might role play him/her in real life, too.

ZeikHunter Master of None from a bitchin'-ass hat
Master of None
Jul 18th 2012 at 1:13:58 PM

113. Give your character an elaborate costume whenever you can. It won't discourage the cosplayers at all.

114. If he has a sword, he's the main character. No exceptions.

You want me to heal AND kill? Alright...
Journeyman Overlording the Underworld from On a throne in a vault overlooking the Wasteland
Overlording the Underworld
Jul 18th 2012 at 2:25:37 PM

115: If you have to fight a bosmore than once, it's the Dragon. No exceptions. It doesn't matter its rank. It doesn't matter if there's anyone ranked between it and the final boss, it won't mean a thing. (Learned in Spartan: Total Warrior}

PhysicalStamina Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
Landorkus OH YES!! from The Core Relationship Status: Robosexual
OH YES!!
Prometheus136 What's eatin' you, chief? from Yoknapatawpha County Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
What's eatin' you, chief?
Jul 18th 2012 at 4:13:16 PM

119: If it is Japanese it will have mechs.

120: If it is Japanese it will have overtly fetishized Caucasian women.

121: If it is Japanese then the plot will be convoluted and filled with "twists".

122: If it is Japanese it will almost certainly be weird.

123: If it is a Japanese horror game than it will sure as SHIT be scary.

War is God.
Prometheus136 What's eatin' you, chief? from Yoknapatawpha County Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
What's eatin' you, chief?
Jul 18th 2012 at 4:25:10 PM

126: 'Realistic' military shooters are so realistic that the player character can carry around twenty magazines of assault rifle ammo along with ten magazines of a secondary weapon with no movement penalty and reloading magically puts the discarded bullets into a magical pool of ammo even if the animation shows the character dumping the magazine.

127: Ammo is magically attached to individual weapons or weapon types so that instead of the ammo being in pouches or on a tactical vest they are immediately treated as discarded along with the weapon they belong to.

128: You can pick up extra ammo by walking over it.

EDIT: Just realized the numbers were wrong.

edited 18th Jul '12 4:34:53 PM by Prometheus136

War is God.
SquadalaGuy Magic Prophet from Squadala! We're Off!
Magic Prophet
Jul 18th 2012 at 8:47:53 PM

134: When you die in the Underworld, you are laughing in despair with THIS: DAH-DAH-DADAH!!! (duuuuum, DUH!)

135: No matter what Pokemon you verus, you try to do your best!

"The Horn of Protection is here for you, Timmy!" - Hank the Super Cheese Loving Rhino Guard from Fairly Odd Parents

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