Eclipse of the Gods

A door opened infront of Kane, its gaping maw bekoning the foolish, headstrong and the power hungry.

   The choice is yours...   

Power, not a means but an end, Kane had never seen it that way and even when he did he purged the thought from his mind.

What was Power? was it but a self glorifying way of thinking?

No, it was the ability to impose one's own will on the world we live in, that is power; the right to demand the other man's share as well as your own, That was power.

Kane stepped forwards towards the gateway infront of him, a risk, a neccesary one.

This cup I will empty, this power, i will taste.

And the door slammed shut behind him.

The sound of the door catapulted the man into a rollercoaster of emotions.

Anger, Happiness, pleasure that comes form control, Hatred.

Kane lifted his arms, spread them wide and let the power consume him so that in time he might consume it.

And behold their eyes were opened..

A dark shape, embryotic almost flashed into his vision and filled his mind, soul and....

Worship the Lord your God and serve Him only.

The being and its hatred were forcibly rejected from Kane's mind; and the void it left Kane filled....with himself.

The pain, the anger began to recede, he had survied that dark path before him and he had come back changed.

My will be done.

Kane saw that his skin now glowed with an inner light.

On Earth as it is in Heaven

The opened flew open and out strode Kane.

Power was in his hands.

Akuma entered the test, expecting it to be a fight. Instead, it was a barrage of pain. Akuma felt as though he was burning up, but he barely winced from the burning. When he stood again, two words flashed through his mind.

Shakunetsu Hadouken.

Akuma recalled the technique; it allowed him to launch a fireball from his hands, one capable of setting a man on fire rapidly. He also felt stronger than before. Perhaps he had recovered the ability to use this fiery technique.

As Dragovich's barracks filled with his new army, he began to think.
These men are dispensable. Even more dispensable than they were previously, as new ones need not be raised, only summoned.
He had explained the situation to one soldier, who was explaining it to all who came. Rank structure and squad roles were beginning to form, while other parts of the barracks whirred to life as kitchen staff began to cook.
Dragovich then realized he was missing something.
And in mere moments, two men stood before him.
"Nikita. I was dead."
"I know Lev. So was I. But a being of tremendous power, I dare say a god, reversed that process. And has contracted me to work for him. And in return, he has given me supernatural power."
"You died. What of the invasion? Was it the Americanski?"
"The Nova 6 attacks did not happen, and the invasion was called off. And yes, it was Mason."
"Mudak."

The elderly man beside Kravchenko interjected.
"Dragovich. So, you're building an army, I see. Shall I get to work constructing Nova 6 stockpiles?

Dragovich, at this, laughed.
"Steiner. You may be intelligent, but you are foolish. I know of your treachery. The Rebirth facility was attacked by Americanskis. It was your doing. Lev, the cells are down the hall to your right. And do not worry, I will let you have fun with him. If you do not mind sharing."

Kravchenko smiled, and dragged Steiner away, Steiner pleading for mercy all the while.
Dragovich smiled. Steiner was now useless, Nova 6 produceable due to his summoning abilities.
"Suffer a useless Nazi not to live."
Dragovich walked down the corridor, entering a room on his left. It was one of the few that remained bare during the barrack's population explosion. And great room to summon people in.
Dragovich closed his eyes, and began summoning another man.

Joker was blind to everything from the outside world. All he show were the memories flooding back to him, the empty space in all of them suddenly filled again with a tall dark being......a mere mortal, dressed in technological body armor, armed with only a huge array of gadgets, a frightfully analytical mind, and his own fists........a being who lurked within the shadows, outside of society and outside the law, brutality beating fear into those who worshiped evil and instilled Hope to the innocent......

This man's name......was Batman.......

Discord was treated to an entire slideshow of Joker's life. It started with the clown being a mere mortal at first, forced to wear a tacky looking and suffocating red helmet to help a bunch of thugs to rob the chemical factory he used to work at. Batman stopped him after the thugs were gunned down.....he was frightened out of his mind by the hero's mere presence upon their first encounter.....so filled with fear he begged for mercy, practically groveling, trying to remove the helmet.....but he tripped over the railing and fell into a vat of acid......

Everything from before that moment was blank. Everything the clown ever said concerning it was a lie. To Discord, that reason was as clear as day. For you see, the God of Chaos was treated to the death of innocent man........and the birth of a MONSTER..........

For the years to come, the hero and the monster of his own accidental creation clashed with each other. Both struck terror in the hearts of all they encountered, but while Batman only purposely struck it into villains and monsters, the Joker struck fear in everyone......even those who who fought against Gods........

In fact, the two of them were mortals among countless beings who's power could have equaled or even surpassed that of the Princesses......even himself.......both had faced off against Gods that could have crushed them a thousand times over but through their own determination and guile, they survived.....and succeeded......Discord would see that their world was something filled with such abashed chaos, often involving the Fate the entire universes at times......

And then there were the clown's own crimes......the supervillain's own chaotic tendencies outclassed all of his fellow villains combined! Joker's crimes was at a truly impossible range......he shoved little boys off their bikes, poisoned fish to gain copyrights, slathered some billionaire's mansion merely to bring down the price value.......he shot a fastfood employee right in the face for getting his order wrong, crippled a man's daughter and showed him pictures of her being undressed just to drive him mad, manipulated his psychiatrist into his loving sidekick and then abused her mentally, physically, and emotionally...........he was unpredictable, more of a force of nature, a being given Discord's powers would be far more brutal and the God........

But there was one true constant.......he was intertwined with Batman, his Fate matched to the hero, his creator, no matter how much the hero would deny it......Batman was there almost every time the Joker committed his crimes, ready to cart him off to a prison they both knew he would escape from easily.....a macabre routine, with one side being a complete madman with only a few guiding scruples and a flair for the dramatic, and the other side a dark, serious being driven to deliver justice anyway possible, sometimes damning government law altogether.......

Batman's own honor, discipline, and sense of justice was everything the Joker hated about the superhero....but conversely, everything he admired and respected......the fact that Batman was so dedicated to stopping the clown at every turn and the fact that the Bat was so different and so opposite from him was where the clown found a sort of kinship......a seething, bottomless hatred that fell through right into a twisted friendship......something that skirted into possibly the perverse........

Discord would see the train of thought ending on one final memory.........one final moment which defined this rivalry that would certainly be told for centuries to come........a moment which began....and ended......with the two of them.........

"Quick, the cure!" Joker begged. "Wait are you waiting for?! C'mon! I killed your girlfriend, poisoned Gotham, and hell....huh huh, its not even breakfast!"

The Dark Knight stood, holding a tube of a blue, glowing liquid, what was most certainly the cure for the TITAN poisoning that Batman had taken beforehand and the Joker most certainly needed so desperately at that point.

"But so WHAT?" the Joker continued. We all know you'll save me."

"Every decision you've ever made ends death death and misery," Batman said, seemingly contemplating whether to give him the cure or not. "People die. I stop you. You'll just break out and do it again."

Dark laughter......"Think of it as a running GAG!!" Joker suddenly lunged at Batman, stabbing a switch blade right into Batman's shoulder.... causing him to drop the tube, shattering it on the floor - "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

As Batman stumbled back to remove the knife from his shoulder, Joker scrambled to try to salvage the spilled cure, licking the precious fluid from gloves, but only getting tiny droplets mixed with dirt and broken glass........the clown up at Batman, anger and hatred in his eyes, all of swelling up and ready to explode like it also had......

"Are you HAPPY now?!" the Joker asked, almost as an insult then a retort.

"Do you want to know something funny?" Batman asked back, tauntingly, knowingly....."Even after everything you've done.....I would have saved you."

Upon hearing that, all that anger was now upon himself......Joker was angry at himself for losing faith in his old enemy right when it was most crucial......the dark humor of it all, and all the love and respect the Joker had for the Dark Knight well up again was raunctious laughter mixed with hacking coughs.......

"That actually is......pretty funny......!!"

Those were his last words......all the rest was the coughs of a dieing man.......the futile gasping of air........and laughter.......laughing at one final joke........soon.....there was nothingness.......and the monster, created by the world Greatest Detective.......died.....with a true smile on his face.....

Back in reality, the Joker stood there, staring into space. His expression was that of sorrow......

THIS was scaring the crowd of mooks far more than the possibility that their boss actually forgot about Batman, his eternal rival.

edited 10th Mar '12 5:55:58 PM by UdtheImp

Akuma entered one of the unmarked barracks, and as he did so, the Japanese kanji for the number ten burned itself into the door. When he got there, he found, to his shock, Ryu. Only this Ryu wore black, not white. He was also tanner than Ryu.

"How did you get here?" said Akuma.

"Lord Akuma," said the Ryu lookalike, "I am in your debt." He kneeled. "I will serve you in combat with the Satsu no Hadou as my weapon."

Akuma then noticed many others, similarly resembling combatants from many universes, all of them tan and black-clad. Some he recognized, such as ones derived from Ken Masters, Sakura, Sagat, Captain America, Cyclops, Morrigan, and Spider Man. Others, however, were unfamiliar to him. These included a man in sunglasses and a suit who looked like an archetypical Hollywood actor, two Italian plumbers and a doctor, all of whom looked extremely similar, a man who resembled Dan with another man's head upon his shoulders, a vampire, two ninjas, one with spiky brown hair, the other with long red hair, and a black-painted robot with glowing red eyes and electric blue claws from each arm,. Suddenly, Akuma knew why they were all there. They were not the originals of each of these beings. They were the beginning of his army.

"For those who do not know me," said Akuma as the room's attention turned to him, "I am Akuma. I am the warrior who dared strive for perfection beyond how most men do so. I am the master of the Satsu no Hadou. You all have come here today knowing the basics. However, the basics of Satsu no Hadou are easily enough to overpower entire armies. Today, you become an army. I dub this group the Guntai no Hadou. We shall overpower our enemies, indoctrinate those who submit, and kill whenever our warrior code dictates it honorable. But when it is not honorable, do not kill. Am I understood?"

As one, the entire army said "Yes, sensei!"

Akuma clenched his fist and grinned a malicious grin. "Good."

Before Dragovich stood a man in his mid-thirties, wearing singed combat fatigues dating from the Vietnam era. Although his face was blackened from soot, Dragovich still immediately recognized him. How couldn't he? The man who had slaughtered nearly a hundred of his men. The man who he tried to brainwash onto his side. The man who had killed him and ruined his plan to put Russia in it's rightful place as most powerful country in the world, to be unrivaled by all.
"Mason" Dragovich said calmly.

The man, Mason, turned around to Dragovich, his eyes widening in shock.

"Dragovich. I killed you!"

"Thanks to a god, I got better. And thanks to the powers bestowed upon me by said god, so did Kravchenko."

"Fuckin' Nomads." Mason spat.

"You've met somebody of this description before?"

"Several. I've helped to kill several before."

"So have I. Well, one."

Mason took Dragovich's relaxed stance as unpreparedness for a fight, and rushed towards him.

Dragovich blocked Mason's first strike, and countered with a punch to the gut. Mason took the punch, and responded with an uppercut, striking Dragovich's with his knuckles. This pitched battle continued back and forth, until Dragovich fell on his back, the back of his head striking the concrete floor.
Mason wiped the blood from his mouth, spitting some more from it. Shaking off the disorientation Dragovich's blows put upon him, Mason walked towards the door.

Placing a hand on the doorknob, a pistol cocked behind him. A shot was fired, the bullet striking him in the back. The recoil pushed Mason forward, his head striking the door. Mason fell to the ground, lying still.
Getting up, Dragovich walked towards Mason's prone form, and poked him in the ribs with his foot.

"Get up Mason. I know you're wearing a vest."

"Shit."

After a minute or two of the Joker suddenly staring into space after implying he had no idea who Batman was, the large congregation of mooks started to worry.....not for JOKER, but for their own safety considering the clown's history.

They were debating to themselves who would be the one to shake their boss out of his stupor when Joker suddenly started laughing........

It came as low, almost silent chuckling......but then it grew.....and grew......and grew.......

The laughing became loud and ferocious, echoing around the entire area, bring chills down the spines of the thugs, many of whom heartless hardened criminals.......

And then......

"YES!!!" Joker cried out, yelling at the top of his lungs. "'''I FINALLY REMEMBER!! ITS AAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL COME BACK TO ME!!!" He went into a second bout of intense laughter -

"YOU!!!!" Joker suddenly said, pointing dramatically, straight at the mook whom mentioned Batman.

This single mook looked around nervously, seeing all the rest of the clown's minion moving as far away from him as possible. Realizing he was singled out by his employer, the most dangerous non-superpowered being in modern history, the mook gulped down the cold feeling of fear in his throat.......

"Um........me......?" he practically squeeked. The well muscled thug was soaking in his own cold sweat, Discord possibly able to smell the fear the man gave off even as a disembodied voice.

"Yes YOU!!" The Joker slowly walked towards the mooks, the clicking of his shoes the only sound permeating the air.......

The mook was paralyzed by fear......he look as if he was going to break out crying......

The criminal was now looking up into the mooks face............

.....................

Several agonizing seconds passed - "THANK YOU THANK YOU THAAAAAANK YOU SO MUCH!!!" Joker suddenly yelled after leaping into the air and then tenderly hugging the mook.

Despite the sudden 180 in the mood, the poor mook's fear was not alleviated one iota. "Whuh," he said.

"Thank dear friend, THANK YOU!!" the clown repeated. "Ever since I managed regain my memories after arriving here, there has been that single nagging hole inside my little black heart! But then YOU of all people managed to refill that hole again! And I finally remember my one true love......."

"Harley Quinn?"

"NO!!" Joker responded to another random mook. "Killing Batman!! Oh yes, the memory of my greatest foe, the Dork Knight Justice loving Idiot with a Bat fetish was what was missing, now I feel WHOLE again!! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!" he said. The clown them started kissing the mook's cheek.....and then jumped off of him seconds later to spits out the taste several times, complete with wiping his tongue off with his hands.

The poor mook, on the other hand, visibly looked and most likely felt violated.

"Oh, YUCK, I can't believe I did that!" Joker complained. "I really some mouthwash!" The clown then reached into his jacket and pulled out a bottle of mouthwash. He unscrewed the cap, took a gulp of the green liquid, rinse his mouth for half a minute, and spat it into a cup he also pulled out of his jacket.

A beat.

The Joker examined the bottle. He confirmed it to be a bottle of mouthwash. "Did I always carry a bottle of mouthwash with me?" he asked his minion awkwardly.

They all answered with various shrugs and "I don't knows".

"ANYWHO!" the clown said, tossing both items over his shoulders. He crept up to the mook he was hugging and kissing earlier. "What's your name lad?"

The mook managed shake his head back straight and answered the Joker. "Um, my name's Bob, sir," Bob answered.

"Well then Bob, today's your LUCKY day!" the clown said, wrapping his arm around the mook. "Because today, you now officially......." Joker reached into his pocket........and pulled out a bright yellow badge with the Joker's face on it, but drawn in a way that looks to be from the 1940's or 50's◊. "My new NUMBER ONE!!" *SLAP* "CONGRATULATIONS!!"

Bob flinched after Joker slapped the badge on him.

"Listen up you mugs!" Joker called out to his army. "Bob here is certainly ain't no Harley, but now he's officially your new second-in-command! When I'm not available, he's the one you go to, understood?!" All the mooks reacted positively, congratulating Bob on his "achievement." Bob, on the otherhand, was still trying to wrap his head around what the Hell just happened.....and why he was still breathing.

Joker then went up to the mook that incorrectly answered his "true love" question. "You there!" the clown called out.

"Yeah boss?" the mook happily replied, expecting the same positive feedback as Bob.

Joker then pulled out a medieval era crossbow from under his jacket and shot an arrow at the mook at point blank - *TWANG SHINK*

"OH GOD, MY KNEE!!!" the mook cried on in pain.

"Now that my quota for overused internet meme is used for today, time to do my radio show......." Joker said, tossing away the crossbow over his shoulder. He then walked over to the speaker system, preparing what he say.

Erstwhile, as everyone else vacated, Wheatley had journeyed to his quarters to see what he would see.

"Deploying."

"GAAAH!" Wheatley threw up in arms in self defence, and froze there for a few seconds until realising that the tens of turrets filling his room weren't actually firing at him. "...um...hello?"

"Hello."

"Hello."

"Hello."

"Hello."

"Hello."

"...oooKAY, you're all certainly enthusiastic...and that is an awful lot of turrets. Oh, hello! I remember you!" Wheatley waved to the boxed in frankenturrets crawling about, begging for death. Then he noticed some very strange robots. "Ah, I see we have some new faces there. Not sure I know you lot."

His body radically shifted and linked to the ceiling as AUTO took over. "ROBOTIC WORKFORCE IDENTIFIED. DESIGNATION SECURI-T, STEWARD CLASS UNIT BOTS. NOTED: LOWER IN COMMAND TO AUTO- PILOT AND GO-4."

Speak of the devil. There was a small weedling sound as something tiny wheeled its way to the front. A tiny robot with wide brimmed shoulders and a siren light for a head stopped at the front and saluted.

"CONFIRM: ALL ROBOTIC UNITS IN THE FACILITY ARE UNDER MY COMMAND?"

GO-4 confirmed this statement if its own binary chirping.

"...INTERESTING..."

Everything was going just as planned.

He was seated on his dark throne once more, separated and removed from all the lowly, pathetically scheming creatures outside by doors of solid iron. His veins swelled with new power, strength that would allow him to further his relentless march towards ultimate Order and complete Dominion in the name of his Master. There were so many things he could be doing right now… and yet Sauron’s great mind was focused on one task only.

He was drawing in an invisible net, and no-one else could see the strings… except him.

Like glimmering pieces of abalone shell, tiny fragments of thought and incomplete pieces of half-spoken intent teemed within the thin filaments of the black, seething mesh of sorcery all around his chamber, which he had woven delicately over the entire complex and then drawn in with finesse. Each individual fragment hailed from a different mind. Every shard was but a piece of a greater whole.

He would simply pluck out the ones that he wanted and allow them to grow.

Kaleidoscopic, psychedelic, confused. A fragmented, inverted rainbow. Blood. As Sauron took the chaotic representation of the Joker’s thoughts from its suspended position and crushed it in his pale hand, a fountain of distorted light colored with a violent mish-mash of blood-red, pasty white and inexplicable sepia tones welled over his form, bringing all of these images and emotions to his mind like a faint haze of long-forgotten memory - then the Clown Prince of Crime’s deranged voice rang out in his head, clear as if he had been in the Overlord’s quarters himself, hidden within the swelling mass of criminals.

“…And we've even got Sauron of all people from the Lord of the Rings! And we ALL know what happened to him in the movies, right?!”

“I hated those books!”

A slow, sly smile spread across the Maia’s face at the words, and he stopped the 'playback' with a thought. Readying himself, he plunged deeper into the memories, probing further into the knowledge contained in the mist all around him...

His suspicions were confirmed with the appearance of a single name and a rapid, scrolling mass of letters beneath it. Tolkien. So, some mortal author in some other universe had decided to record the history of the times that were to pass in his own. He read, absorbing the rudimentary information contained in the madman’s fluctuating thought patterns, taking in the still images and scenes from this ‘movie’ of his.

Looking on, one might expect the Dark Lord to wince at the descriptors of Morgoth’s final defeat. One might even think to watch him quail or gasp at the thunderous crash of Barad-Dur, and the fall of a power that he had unmistakably identified as his own –

But there was nothing but silence when he finished. Blankly, the Maia dispelled the fog around him with a brief wave of his hand, allowing it to scatter and disappear into the darkness of the room. His arm fell to his side…

Then he threw his head back and laughed, a short, sharp, horrible sound filled with terrible, maliciously delighted relief and mocking scorn.

How sad. The clown was under such a pathetic delusion...

His future was not set in stone. He was not this Sauron. He was Tar-Mairon. He was the King of Excellence, Lord of Werewolves, feared, majestic abomination, god from beyond Time itself –

And there would be no Third Age now, or any Second for that matter. Now that he had seen the path of things to come…

He could shape it as he desired, taking his actions, reforming them and eliminating the impurities like tarnished dross. His Master would be proud of him, and rightfully so.

Already, black thoughts and twisted schemes were gathering in his head.

Rising, Sauron willed a single sphere of pure gold into existence, letting it fall with a dull thump into his outstretched palm. As he strode towards the forge in the corner of his room, he began nonchalantly plucking more memories from the web, taking more rudimentary pieces of knowledge and assimilating them into his own.

The knowledge of the Drivers, and the Memories that accompanied them from that pawn Daido. The specifics of the so-called Ring-lore from Tolkien’s book. Basic mechanics and the schematics of electronics from the good Doctor. His own mastery of craft and forging.

Seconds later, Sauron stopped at the vat of molten metal, and dropped the orb of precious metal into the glowing fires, watching as it shimmered and melted away. As he plunged his hand deep into the depths of the seething, bubbling substance and willed it to take shape, he took up the resting hammer on the other side of the forge and raised it high …

An indeterminate amount of time later, Daido would hear the Maia’s lilting, smooth voice in his head.

"Kamen Rider… come to me. I seek an audience with you."

"It is time you gained the power you deserved."

edited 12th Mar '12 2:53:43 AM by troydenite

-Anub'arak enters a great portal, marked with the intricate runes of the Nerubians, and choked with thick webbings. Inside, he calls up his newfound powers, causing cocoons to grow on the walls, soon replaced by more. The first of the Nerubians approaches, soon followed by innumerable others. They do not speak, but the creaking of so much chitin creates an unnerving background noise.-

Come. There is much to do...

-The spidermen obey, burrowing themselves at the entrance to the lair or spitting sticky webs to maintain eggs to the wall. Others still tend to the enormous cocoons housing to the massive unborn queens, to produce an unending stream of warriors to fight for Nerub.-

-The Crypt Lord watches serenely. Soon the Nerubians will sweep like a tidal wave into Northrend, eliminating the hated undead once and for all. No amount of pain, no humiliation from their jailer is too strong to keep the Nerubian from having his revenge.-

"Well, I gotta go and see what this guy has for me. You ladies behave now." Daido said. The two women stared at each other, and as Daido left, they began to fight.

—

"So, Sauron, what sort of power is it?" Daido asked Sauron as he entered his lair.

A pleasant chime rang out throughout the halls of the towers and within the rooms of each of the Overlords. "Paging Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard!" the Joker's voice rang out through the intercoms. "Now as I wait for those guys to arrive, I would like to extend my fondest congratulations to everyone for a job well done on the teamwork presented in killing two Gods consecutively! Though the second one was stuck in a chair, probably had no idea what was actually going on, and we had help from a second group, but well all get an A for effort at least! To begin with this newest broadcast, I shall begin with some troubling news......" The clown's voice actually started to become somber at this point.

"Our dearest companion, the one who calls himself the Master, suddenly disappeared during the previous mission," he continued, sounding actually respectful. "Let us all give a moment of silence......"

A bea - Suddenly half of minute's worth of various farting sounds played through the intercom.

"MAY THAT UNORIGINAL RAT BASTARD ROT IN HELL I TELL YA!!" he yelled, dropping the convincing charade and then laughing hysterically. "If I'm not the only one that'll miss that punk like rash inducing pubic crab, give me a holler! W 00 T W 00 T!!" A chorus of woot woots were heard in the background as well, most likely from his mooks. "There was also the unfortunate death of another comrade in arms, tragically taken from the mortal coil by some big red brute who roasted the poor sod like a lobster. You all know him as Sektor. He will sorely be missed......."

A beat.

"Oh who am I kidding?! Nobody give a hoot about him! But seriously, I actually do give a hoot about three other disappearance though," he said, his tone actually becoming truly somber and serious. "Namely, the S&M knight Saber and the two vampires of the group. Saber had so much potential at being my main straightman, Flandre was to be the first member of my fanclub, and Valvatorez never did teach me how to yank souls out of peoples' bodies......c'est la vie.

"Now, on to current gossip and going-ons!" the Joker continued, his voice being genuinely chipper tone in the mid-20th century anchorman accent. "As many of you know, there seems to be two other dimensionally displaced groups as well as us, but instead of following a hitlist they seem to be going on a treasure hunt, looking for mysterious ship pieces! What is the purpose of these pieces? Do they reveal some ancient hidden treasure filled with unimaginable wealth? Parts of a super powerful galaxy destroying weapon taken apart by its creators? Some God like being wanting to complete there life sized model space ship first? WHO KNOWS?!? These two team are competing, and that's all that matter to us villains! If any one of you found out the purpose of these pieces before I do, be sure to drop me a line!

"The biggest fight highlight for today is the monstrous bout between Dark Overlord Sauron and an unknown contender who goes by the Moniker 'Big Red'! The fight started out in Big Red's favor with him wiping the FLOOR with Sauron in the most painful way possible, but in a stunning upset of ego, Sauron managed to overpower Big Red in the most stunning display of pride induced power up this side of hubris! Amazing what a quick egotrip can do, does it? I'm more an id-driven maniac myself. HUH HUH!! From there, Big Red spent the rest of the fight running away from Sauron like a hardened convict would run from a pack of angry bears! Sauron won the fight.....BY TECHNICALITY!! Big Red was whisked away along with the rest of his team, leaving Sauron eating his proverbial dust! While Sauron may call that a victory, I call that a cop out! This match is officially a DRAW in my books! If he tells you otherwise, that's his ego stroking himself! And I DON'T mean the one below the belt! However, I doubt he really has one. WHUH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! Though you have to admit, its better than how Vietnam turned out! HA HA HA!!

"In other news, Clown Prince of Crime gets chased by Pyromaniac Pro Wrestler! Here's a protip for all of you: When speaking to a pro wrestler, DO NOT ever mention that pro wrestling is not REAL, not even in casual conversation when its not even the topic! They WILL get mad, and they WILL come after you! Also, the existence of Sea Ponies have been CONFIRMED! More at 11! And finally, if none of haven't noticed, which I doubt, unless your blind and/or have their ass so far up their ass they don't notice, especially a certain someone, but I won't name names - *COUGHCOUGH*SAURON*COUGH COUGH*" The coughing was fake, but the name he said was hidden well enough for only the most astute would notice. "Oh, excuse me! It seems at our employer has graciously provided us with both special powers AND an army of mooks for us to use one future missions! Thank you mysterious Dark God thingy! Say to everyone various nameless mooks!" Various individuals of Joker's men said various "yo"s, "hi"s, and what not. "Okay that's enough! And if anyone out there in radioland is wondering what powers I have.......well........wouldn't YOU like to know......." he said in a growling, threatening tone.

"And that's the news for right now!" Joker said, finishing up. "And remember, membership for my exclusive fanclub is still open! There's still one loli left to join, you know who you are, along with some other prospective members! Join now, and you get a free membership badge, showing the beautiful, grinning face of yours truly! Slap it on you chest and show it proudly to your friends and family, telling them that you're in the coolest idol worshiping club ever, one dedicated to honoring the Clown Prince Crime himself! Moi! If you want to join, just speak with the current president of my fanclub, my second-in-command, Bob the Minion! Come on Bob, don't be shy!"

There was a short pause as someone walked over in the background. "Uh......whatz uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhp!" Bob spoke.

"Okay, enough of that!" Joker spoke. "A man with true oratory skills, ain't he? For future reference, you'll tell who Bob is from the rest of my similarly looking goons from the badge he shows off on his chest. So, if he ever comes to any of you with a message from me......please don't shoot him, I really like the guy. If he's with any of my other minions though, go right ahead! This is now Joker, finally signing off! Tune in next time, same Joker channel, same Joker time!" The villain then ended with a long raspberry, followed by the distorted version of the beginning intercom chime.

edited 17th Mar '12 8:46:08 PM by UdtheImp

AUTO heard the intercom begin, and headed irritably for the door. He was stopped by the voice of Mechakara inside his 'head'.

Need I remind you, the last time you went to reprimand the Joker about his intercom antics, it ended in abject humiliation for the three of us. I suggest you let him have his fun. There'll be time to sort him out later...

Mason was halfway through the process of getting up when the intercom rang out.
"The Joker's here? And the Master was here? Is this a meeting of the League of Evil?"

"You've heard of them?"

"The Joker is a character in a comic book and a TV show. Fights Batman and Robin. The Master is the enemy of the Doctor. Met the Doctor a while back."

"Hmm. However, now, to business."

"I don't do business with Russians, Dragovich."

"And what of your friend Gregory Weaver? Or your friend Viktor Reznov? Or the many Russians who aided your escape from Vorkuta?"

"...different circumstances."

"Chush' sobach'ya. Mason, you could've been my greatest agent. You still can be. My men, are Russian. Willing to give their live to the cause. But not skilled enough to achieve it. You, however, are."

"I'll never work for you."

"I shall pay you in gold ingots."

"...tempting, but the answer's still no."

"Let me, as you Americanskis say, "sweeten the deal". Because of my failure, I may never return to the world we come from. The Motherland believes me dead and a shame. However, there are more than one world. I will be content without our home. But, if you do not work for me, I shall take our world by force. You are from Alaska, yes? I will make Alaska a charred wasteland, poisoned for millennia, and all American citizens given slow, agonizing deaths. So, work for me, get gold. Do not work for me, and have that on you conscience."

The Makarov pistol was raised once more.

"For the five seconds that you will live." Dragovich concluded.

"...I'd thought you'd want to kill me anyway."

"Mason, I can work with people I wish to kill, for as long as they remain useful. Take Steiner for example. He is useless now, and shall be treated as a Nazi deserves. So, deal? Or no deal?"

"...deal."

The pistol dropped, and Dragovich smiled.

"Good. Now, come. It is time for Steiner's retirement party."

Dragovich left the room, Mason following slowly after. Kravchenko was retrieved, and Steiner dragged out of his cell as Mason's new employment explained to Kravchenko. Evidently, he wasn't happy about it.

"Do not worry Lev. Some fun with Steiner must suffice. But you shall to share."

Arriving at the main lobby, the party waited at the door, as Dragovich turned on his intercom.

"Could the Joker please report to my... Base of operations?"

Having examined his newfound power's creations, the pirate wandered the halls, choosing which one to eat. The lottery of three unknowns versus the guaranteed reward of diamond body... It was just a marginally easier choice than eating a full sized Fruit.
In the end, however, he chose reliability. He gulped down the small fruit, grimacing at the still horrible taste. But the taste was soon gone and what was left is another euphoric rush of feeling new power. For a moment he turned his fist into a jagged crystal◊, admiring the light reflecting of it before continuing to the Joker's lair.

"Hey Joker, you sure are having fun in here. Zehaha! Wanna see something interesting?"
The pirate entered the clown's room right after the intercom call.

edited 12th Mar '12 1:37:20 PM by Adannor

It stirred, a vaporous presence in the Joker's already tumor-ridden and diseased mind. A madman among madmen, though It was far from mad. Though It wasn't sensible either, but so few people were. As the harlequin rallied his troops, he shared in his epiphany. A cavalcade of images rushing through his head, glorious carnage and laughter, or such glorious laughter and the sweetest of chaos that trickled into his mind like molasses. His past, what little It could understand, was fuzzy at best and extremely vague. There were, however, a few constants through each twisting road, across ever scarred memory and poisonous recollection.

An ill-timed theft. A vat of chemicals. A red hood. A man in black.

Was it a man? Or something more sinister? He was a creature of the night, of leathery wings stretched across the cloudy black sky, a great swooping thing that was at once a figure of hope and of fear. Perhaps they were all creatures of fear here, things that lurked in the dark places, waiting to snatch up the unwary. Joke certainly was, if his memories were reliable. Even the most vile of criminals fled at his approach and the slayers of gods were left mad in his wake. As It watched, It almost felt a sense of companionship, as if they were brothers long since separated. Were they kindred spirits, brought together by some malevolent god that had intended to train them like dogs, whip them into shape as an extension of his will? Nevertheless, he felt this was going to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

No... most definitely not. There was something about that word, something about the very concept that stung It, like an icy knife through Its ethereal chest. It had no desire and no need for companionship. It was a god, a god brought down to earth but a god just the same. The images that had flashed before It in the elevator, those had been but a glimpse of Its former power. It was more solid now, though only just. Its influence was stronger, it could feel the world around it clamping down like a vise. But it was not enough. There was still once crucial component that remained, one final trigger to his release from that terrible weight. An anchor, that was what bound it so. A thing of rough granite, cracked and weathered with age. That was both the secret of Its imprisonment and the key to Its release.

Absentmindedly, it turned Its attention back upon the Joker's thoughts. Had it a face, it would be twisted into a disappointed frown. The joke had long since ended, and the comedian who told it had died not by the hand of his enemy, but by simple negligence.That was no punchline, no glorious outro. If anything, the clown's life should have ended with a bang, not a whimper. Such glorious entertainment, wasted on a humorless man. But there was hope yet, for the performers lived. The show could go on.

So lost was It in Its thoughts that It had not noticed the Joker's announcements and the messages that followed. Its mood restored, for now, It slithered past the Joker's ear, whispering Its message into his cracked little head. "Oh, quite the man about town, aren't we? I almost feel jealous. But don't worry about MY needs, darling. Go off and play with your friends." There was a touch of mirth to Its voice.

"Like to hear I have an admirer," Joker said to Discord. "You should've seen me back in Gotham before the whole taking over the Asylum bit......"

Physically, however, he was only talking to air. This garnered the attention of some of his mooks.

"Hey Don, Joker's talking to himself," one mook, a white guy, said to another.

"Oh, he sometimes does that Rob," the mook, Don, a black guy, responded. "He gets voices in his head, and he then responds to them occasionally.

"Really? I just assume he does that to freak people out," Ron said.

"That to. Sometimes its legit, sometimes its fake."

"How do know he ain't faking it this time?"

"I don't. I just assume its always the voices."

"So.......it could go either way?"

"Yup."

A beat. "And we work for this guy because.......?" Rob asked.

"You're doing it for the chuckles," Don said. "I'm doing this cuz Riddler was too much of a prick."

"You used to work of the Riddler? No shit! You never told me that! You said you used to roll in Central City!"

That was when Blackbeard barged into Joker's abode. Immediately the pirate found himself surrounding by several of the Joker's men, all aiming high tech military firearms that were DEFINITELY not from his own world, a few in the rafters armed with sniper rifles. "Hold up there Long John," one of the mooks warned. Blackbeard would see that none of them showed the slightest hint of fear towards the pirate. If he only knew what they faced back in their own world.......

"Why HELLO there, Captain!" the Joker said from behind the crowd of mooks. The henchman parted to let their harlequin boss through. "How are things ya old sea dog? Why would the great Blackbeard wish to grace my lowly presence?" This elicited some comments and mumblings from the mooks.

"Man fatass does not look like Blackbeard!" Rob said.

"Actually that is," Don said. "Though actually a different version of him."

"Like from a comic or something?"

"Yeah. He's a villain from that Japanese manga and anime series called One Piece, which is about pirates and stuff. Its sorta like Pirates of the Carribean if all the pirates had superpowers like all the metahumans and stuff."

At this point was when Dragovich communicated with the Joker. "One moment please!" he politely said to Blackbeard. He quickly rushed over the to intercom, shut off all the feed switches minus the Russian's, and spoke through the microphone. "Be with you shortly Drago old boy, but first I have a visitor right now," he said. The clown then quickly rushed back to Blackbeard. "So anyway, what species of turkey you want to talk in?" he asked the pirate. "Come to join my fanclub?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows. "Admittedly I was hoping for someone else before you, someone shorter, cuter, with pigtails.......female......" The slight disappointment in Joker's words were quite evident.

"Zehaha! From fiction, am I? That's an interesting world you have as a home," the pirate commented along the conversation. "I'm not quite 'joining the fanclub', no. You are cool guy, Joker and we both are leaders, not the led ones. I come offering an equal alliance. And bring a gift from my newfound power. You see, unlike you I didn't get power to create an army. I got power to create..."

Holding a brief pause, Blackbeard demonstrated the three weird-looking fruits that he summoned into existence.

"Powers. Wanna feel like one of the superpowered pirates of my world and your fiction, Joker? I now can create the Fruits that give those. They are small and likely have some restrictions and I don't know what powers they hold, but if you want a taste, take one. Not two, that would kill ya."

After the Joker chose one (should he try to grab more, the pirate would catch him in the action with surprising speed), he would continue with lecture.

"Now just eat it, not rituals are necessary. They taste horrible, though, even small like that. You are going to feel it's power instantly. They are easy to use, pretty much instinctive. Try it, Joker."

And should the clown follow instructions... He would suddenly erupt into a massive conflagration of flame.

Which would subside in a moment, leaving the clown unharmed.

"OOOOO, gifts! I like gifts!" Joker said to Blackbeard. "Not the kind that try to kill me though, obviously." The clown picked up one of the fruit. Joker was savvy enough to follow Blackbeards insturctions about not taking more than one fruit, taking his pirate's word for it. He took a bite out of it. "Ugh, you're right, this thing IS disgust - "

*WHOOSH*

Joker suddenly burst into flames. All his mooks managed to get out of the way. When the flame subsided, Joker stood there, completely unharmed. "............whoa. That was a new experience!" the clown. "Does this mean I get to have flamey powers like the Human Torch!" he said ecstatically. He then doubled over in pain, his stomach audibly gurgling unpleasantly. "Oh geez, I don't think that fruit's agreeing with me.......OOOOOO......"

He farted - *BOOM!!* A concussive force of pure flame erupted, slamming hard into a nearby wall, severely damaging the metal. A charred body crumpled onto the floor, most definitely an unlucky minion that was unfortunately in the line of fire.

"Whoops!" he said in embarassment, putting his hand over his mouth. "Guess that narrows it down to just explosions! HUH HUH!!" He then turned back to Blackbeard. "Yeah, about the minion thing, truthfully I didn't summoned these guys, they were already here when I came in like relatives you hate just waltzing into your house to eat all your food! But quite frankly why would I wanna summon THESE bums though. HU-HUH! Though that means I may have to be a bit conservative......."

"OH GOD MY KNEE!! Why'd you pull it out so HARD?!?" the mook with the arrow in his arrow yelled out, illustrating this point.

"But anyway, great minds think alike because I also wished for an equal opportunity alliance!" Joker said to the pirate. "And my fanclub is the alliance! By being a member of my fanclub doesn't mean you have to take orders from me, no, but that you are united with others in the single common ground! And THAT ground being the rare priviledge of rubbing elbows with the greatest criminal mastermind in the history of an entire universe, spreading chaos and mirth and flipping off the establishment on equal footing with the master himself! Plus you get the added benefit of having to boss around my own mooks for your own needs, free of charge!

"At least with me, you can be your own man and do whatever the Hell you want," Joker continued. "If you run with Sauron, that guy's probably gonna run you like a slave driver working a draft horse and Lord over you like a tyrant, micromanaging your every move and lashing you in the back for even the tiniest of deviation of his little plans, even when it''ll actually have him win the day. And I bet that ole Ring Maker wouldn't let you have a single opinion for yourself, and if he did he would probably take the current and have his secret ops kill you behind the scenes........and God HELP YOU if your actually unaffiliated! He's probably gonna tempt you into some kinda contract to work for him where the prize is some kinda murderous restraining bolt to further make you his bitch. Me......I'm not a big fan of contracts. I'm more of a good will agreement type of person.

"But hey, the choice is yours!" Joker said. The clown then pulled out another Joker badge and handed it to Blackbeard, putting it in one of the pirate's meaty hands. "If you wanna join the club that's truly rockin' and is totally bitchin'......put on the badge......." The clown smiled even wider than normal. "Think about it....." he almost whispered.

A beat.

"Oh say, I almost forgot, our resident Russian terrorist gave me an invite!" Joker then said. "Better go see what he wants! Wanna come with?" he asked Blackbeard.

edited 13th Mar '12 1:31:48 PM by UdtheImp

"Zehahaha! I was going to talk to Dragovich too, so yeah, let's go visit him together. And talk a bit on the way."

"You see, about this badge..."
The pirate held the item in his fingertips halfway between himself and the prince of crime on their way to the Russian. Zehaha. He is as stubborn as I am. Oh well, gonna try play it by his definitions. he came to conclusion after a moment's consideration.
"Joker, you see, I've got my own fanclub too - with the privilege to sail, or walk, with the most fearsome pirate of the Grand Line. As a president I can't go joining around other fanclubs just like that. So we can have an allied clubs or, hell, maybe joint club down the line, but I won't be wearing you badge without you also bearing mine. As a sign of an alliance, you know?"

The pirate stroked his beard.
"Now I just have to find some means to get it done somewhere here. But that can wait a bit. Will you join my club too, Joker?"

edited 13th Mar '12 1:20:54 PM by Adannor

"Capital idea my good man!" Joker said as the two villains began walking towards Dragovitch's room. "I shall join your fanclub, and you can join mine later on! Once you you make and manage to mass produce the main membership bauble, we could show them off at the same time! So, how you think you're gonna do it? Badges? Hats? T-Shirts? Hopefully not tattoos though, I hate the idea of marring my own beautifully pasty white skin!"

Soon they reached the entrance of Dragovitch's room. Joker knocked on the door. "Hey, Drago!" the clown called out. "I'm here along with Blackbeard! Hope you have tea and crumpets for us!"

edited 13th Mar '12 2:06:55 PM by UdtheImp

The door opened, showing Dragovich, and several other men.
Most were clearly Russian military, just glancing at the uniforms would confirm it. Three men next to Dragovitch however, were different.
One was an elderly man on his knees, in handcuffs and shaking with fear. The man holding the elderly man by his neck was tough-looking and ugly. His features could look Russian, but they certainly weren't of an Asian or American. It was safe to assume he was Russian.
The third was different. His singed fatigues were American, and sooty face showed a sign of slight recognition at the Joker.

"Joker. I have brought you here to offer you gift. This," he pointed at Steiner, "Is Friedrich Steiner. I observed you take pleasure in the deaths of others. This man is a Nazi, who planned to kill everyone in Washington D.C. and Moscow. Do with him what you wish. My lieutenant, Kravchenko, will accompany you. He also takes pleasure in the pain of others."

"OOOOO, my own little pet Hitler worshiper to mutilate in my spare time!" Joker happily said after Dragovich mentioned Steiner was a Nazi. "But alas, business before pleasure! You can take the Nazi on over to my abode. Its labeled with a diamond with the word 'Arkham' on it," he said to Kravchenko as if he were a lowly bellhop. He turned back to Dragovitch. "Today Drago, its a truly once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! I have chosen YOU to be the next member of my exclusive fanclub! Not only do you get to roll with yours truly, but you also get exclusive rights to ordering around my own minions, possibly exclusive rights to hear super secret information straight from my mouth," he said in a hushed tone, leaning up to the Russian momentarily his hand blocking view of his lips, "AND a free badge, showing to the Jon Q. Public that your a member of the most gleeful club ever!" The Joker then pulled out yet another badge for Dragovitch. "Care to team up officially?"

The clown then saw Mason. "What's with that guy?" the clown said. "He some kinda defector or are you goin' democratic on me?"

There was a slight pause before...

“Whatcha doing with oldie there?”

Levi had followed the Joker and Blackbeard inside somehow, and was now gazing curiously at Steiner. She looked back and forth between Dragovich and the Joker,

“I mean...he can't even fight back. He'd break a hip or something if he tried. What's the fun in that?”

Back in the Material's lair, Stern was just looking for Levi and upon not finding her, walked out of the doorways and into the 'common' area as she followed Levi's energy. Since all three Materials were linked, they could find each other within easily.

Stern came around the corner and walked into Dragovich's lair, Luciferion resting on her shoulder as she did so.

"Oh yes, I agree, sometimes its so much fun when your victim fights back!" Joker said to Levi. "Though, this human detritus here is a lot more fun to play with if he didn't fight back......." A beat. "It complicated though, kid. You'll figure it out when you're older!" he said, and then started to gently pat the Material on the head.

"By the way darling, you are JUST the little loli I wanted to see!" the clown said, lower himself to her eye level. "In case you didn't know, and if so I'll just repeat for clarity's sake, my name's the Joker! And guess what?" He wrapped his hand around her shoulder. "I'm gonna make you an honorary member of my exclusive fanclub!" he said, pulling out yet another badge from behind his back and showing to Levi. "You can take the badge for now if you don't want to join now, but when you want to, just slap that sucker right on your chest there and you're automatically in!

"The reason I ask is just that I have a gut feeling about you, kid!" Joker continued. "I know be perfect for my club! Come on, please say yes! I'll be your best frieeee-eeeeeend......" he said in mock pleading tone, wriggling his eyebrows as he did.