ITT: We are all Pokémon Trainers

Ultra Plant (wow that name)

Channah: -gives Tagg a look at his height comment- Yeah, let's. If it weren't for the lightning, I wouldn't mind sticking around. Pretty place.

Ultra Plant

-To Channah, as we approach what appears to be a gigantic Xurkitree limb connecting the mesa we're standing on to another one-

What? That wasn't meant to be a height joke, I'm sorry if it came off that way.

-Sighs-

I just have bad memories of the last time I dealt with a thunderstorm this nasty, and this makes that look like a minor rainstorm.

Ultra Plant

Channah: When was that? Uh, and what? I just don't want you getting hit by lightning. That wouldn't be great.

Ultra Plant

...Oh.

-Hands behind back as we start walking across the limb, lightning making the white sections of what feels a lot like a rubber wire underfoot glow-

Well, when we first visited Oblivia on our quest to stop some Pokémon Pincher remnants almost 8 years ago, we got the help of some Latii to go through Mt. Layuda's thunderhead in order to recruit Zapdos, which is how I met Contrail. Between the Pinchers attacking and some of us getting hit by them or lightning, it was almost a complete disaster. We spent several days in a cave recovering from it all.

-Beat-

Shit, that was almost 8 years ago, and here I am in this place now.

Ultra Jungle

Channah: -smiles- That's why I don't like reminiscing too much. Sounds like a rough time. I've, uh, been zapped a few times by Electric-types, but never lightning. Don't think I've heard of the - Pinchers - either. Then again you said Oblivia, so that's probably why.

Ultra Plant

-To Channah-

Mercenaries and general assorted thieves, mainly. They have these these Capture Gauntlets that allow them to forcibly control mons.

-In front of us appears to be a regular-sized Xurkitree absorbing electricity while burying its arms in the ground, while other Xurkitree run on arms below us-

Running Xurkitree: -Are singing this-

All: <Wut?>

Ultra Plant

Channah: -starts humming along before she catches herself- - I mean, wut? 0_o

Ultra Plant

-Starts humming too, but unironically-

Muddy: -Tilting his head- <Er, Tagg, did you notice there seems to be something behind the Xurkitree?>

Oh yeah, forgot to mention it since I was too worried about the constant lightning bolts.

Ultra Plant

Channah: What is it? -pause- Oh. Right. Duh-doy. -sends out Basil- There. He can tank some bolts for us.

Basil: -jumps and looks around anxiously when lightning hits somewhere in the distance-

Channah: -sighs-

Ultra Plant

-Decides to go check out the oddly familiar Aura behind the Xurkitree, moving carefully to avoid disturbing it, and finds...-

Cosmog: -Shivering under what appears to be a deposit of Thunder Stones- <Pew...>

A Cosmog?

Muddy: -Looking down at it- <Maybe it's lost or something, don't see why it would want to be here of all places.>

Edited by rmctagg09 on Jan 16th 2019 at 10:44:13 AM

Ultra Plant

Channah: -crouches to get a better look at it- Aww, looks scared. Did it fall in from a wormhole?

Ultra Plant

-To Channah-

It's likely, unless this was a rift thing or something.

-Holding out a Poké Bean for the Cosmog-

Come on, we won't hurt you.

Cosmog: -_-

-Floats over and cautiously takes a bite of the Poké Bean-

<Pew...>

I'm surprised, we haven't had to fight anything yet, besides the elements.

Ultra Plant

Basil: -sniff sniff-

Channah: Well, now's about the time for that giant tree to try to stomp us to death, so - Look at it chew it's so cute!

Ultra Plant

-Chuckles-

I've never seen you have that sort of reaction to anything before.

-As if frightened that she might stop-

It's... kinda cute.

Cosmog: -Just looks at the group more inquisitively than frightened... and then farts out some stardust-

Ultra Plant

Channah: Aa-haa, did you see that? Weird little guy.

Basil: -wags his tail, picking up on his trainer's interest-

Channah: -cautiously moves closer and holds out a hand to the Cosmog, palm up- Helloo...

Ultra Plant

Cosmog: -Tilts body at Channah's hand before tapping it with one of their feelers- <Pew!>

...As much as I'd like to continue watching you guys be cute, perhaps we should start moving again.

-Sudden lightning strike-

Cosmog: -Hides behind us this time-

Ultra Plant

Channah: -smiles when the Cosmog taps her hand, then stands- Okay. -to Cosmog- Hey, you should come with us. We'll keep you safe. -to Tagg- Right?

Ultra Plant

-To Channah-

Of course.

Muddy: <So that's Cleffa, and Jill She could've probably gotten us out of this too., and now this Cosmog.>

Cosmog: -Twirling- ^_^

Muddy: -Spotting a Mobius base in the distance- <Should we?>

I'd rather not press our luck a third time, especially now that we have something that Mobius might want. At least not until our friend has fully evolved.

Cosmog: -Strains slightly, forming an Ultra Wormhole as one of the gigantic Xurkitree starts paying a bit more attention to us-

Careful, don't hurt yourself.

Xurkitree: -Crackling with electricity- {Are these pests, on my turf?}

Edited by rmctagg09 on Jan 16th 2019 at 12:30:24 PM

Ultra Plant

Channah: Here we go. -in response to the Xurkitree- Uh, not really? More like an accidentally invasive species. Frick that thing is huge.

Basil: -steps in front of the Cosmog-

Ultra Plant

Xurkitree: -Thunderclap- {All you humans cause is trouble, leave this place now.}

-Lightning bolts start landing even more too close to comfort, as the Ultra Wormhole starts fading out of existence-

Man I really wish we had the Stormchaser right now, but chances are the lightning would make it crash or something. We really should get going.

-And starts moving towards the Wormhole-

Edited by rmctagg09 on Jan 16th 2019 at 12:48:45 PM

Nimbasa Hotel Room

Okay so follow me here-

-The currently shoulder-tall pale purple sphere that is a Ditto gives a shrug-

Elves.

Shift: <In what way?>

In the way yaknow.

Shift: <Yeah but the only 'elves' in this universe are the Alakar.>

Ahem, the Hyul.

Shift: <They're humans they don't count.>

Really? Cause like their paragon heroic ideal is some dude usually from the forest who keeps using archery and also a lot of playing music to do magic. That's totally elven.

Shift: <Yeah but there's no human humans in any of the games to compare them to. Well there's->

Ge-

Shift: <I know I realized it but damn there's like some layers of problems with labeling them as the humans that we're comparing to the possible elves.>

Okay but still.

Shift: <Isn't there already that option in the ammy?>

Yeah I know I wasn't asking if it was something I could do I was asking if it was something I should do.

Shift: <Maybe? I dunno man it's just kinda petty and underwhelming of a change to make.>

Hm. Sure, just sorta I dunno you know?

Shift: <Yeah I getcha. Not everyone can have my ability to just sorta whim it.>

I didn't mean it like that.

Shift: <Eh but I'm close enough.>

Nah.

Conference Room, Geographic Society Head Office

Several distinguished ladies and gentlemen from the Geographic Society Board of Trustees are seated in a long table, dressed in semiformal finery befitting members of the academia. Across them on several tables were the members of the Unovan office's editorial board and various representatives from the editorial boards of the Society's regional offices.

Jean, the editorial representative from Kalos, sat patiently despite being seated next to Hank Harvey, who muttered spiteful commentary

A portly member of the board breaks the silence. It was the chairwoman of the board, Dame Matilda Williams, who had held in her arms a sleeping alolan vulpix.

Jean can't help but think that Dame Matilda looks like someone.

Dame Matilda: Good day, fellows. As you may have already heard, one of our parent companies, the Clavis Group, has been shaken by scandal. One of its members has been indicted for various counts of fraud and embezzlement and is implicated in several counts of collusion with various criminal groups. Madame Aphrodite currently cannot be reached for comment but she is expected to attend the Clavis Group meeting in Sunday. This will be one of two meetings within this week. Our first order of business is the matter of our official editorial statement and our actions in the wake of this disturbing revelation.

A crotchety and pale old man raises his hand. Dr. Van Dyke, the oldest member of the board, began to speak.

Dr. Van Dyke: I knew it. I knew it! That Linant was a troublemaker from the start! Back in my day—

While Dr. Van Dyke began to mumble a flashback, Hank leered toward Jean.

Hank: Nobody wants to hear this story again.

Dr. Van Dyke: Now Affie, she's definitely a little angel. When I get my hands on that no-good fuckboy Univyse, pow, right in the kisser!

Dr. McSweeney, the editorial representative of the Kantonian division, stands.

Dr. McSweeney: To add to our esteemed board member's… err… defense on Madame Aphrodite's character, I do agree that we have little to fear about her continued leadership. That being said, we are unsure of the depths of her husband's workings, which brings us other concerns of corruption within our own ranks.

Dr. Van Dyke: My children never caused any trouble. They all became scientists!

Hank stood up.

Hank: With due respect. We can't just keep giving the folks at Clavis a pass. If she knew that someone from her host of snooty cousins was in cahoots with criminals like her ex-husband, she'd have done something about it by now, am I right?

Jean: I would not be so quick to judge, dear friend. More than anything, Madame Clavis would likely have learned of this debacle at an inopportune time. Her assets and allies with PEFE and the J-Team were compromised in the attacks last August, if you can recall. Seriously, you try warning your relatives that your cousin is up to no good while your ex-husband besieges the greatest city in the world. I do believe we covered that in amazing detail. We ought to get a [Pulitzer] for that.

A muffled woo hoo can be heard in the background. Jean smiles mischievously. Hank seems to recognize that voice instantly.

Hank: Petersen's listening in, is he?

Jean: No. Why do you ask?

Meanwhile, across the hall from the meeting room:

Sparky: Try the entire production hall, Harvey.

Sparky and Tommy give each other a high five. Behind them is the entire writer floor, attentively listening into the conversation.

—

Dame Matilda: We have made an official statement in the name of transparency when that article was released and reported in news publications, including our own, paired with disclosure that we are partly owned by the Clavis Group. Our organization however, has maintained a reputation of impartiality, something our other partner corporation can never claim.

Hank, mockingly: *Chemikills in the water are making the freaking politoeds fey.* How many times do we have to debunk that type-switching nonsense?

Jean: Not often enough.

Dame Matilda: Although it seems only fair that we wait for the official statement before passing judgment, our worries continue that there may be conflicts of interest if we were to continue our reportage on the event.

Angelan Editor: Like, if I may point out the donphan in the living room here. There’s also a matter of transparency given that people might think all Clavis companies still have unreported corporate corruption. Forgive me for, like, sounding too paranoid, but our division is still uneasy about the whole Pokefutures thing. They were breathing down our necks like crazy.

Johtoan Editor: With due respect to my esteemed friend here, we should tread lightly around attempts to investigate possible internal corruption, especially since we’ve yet to find evidence for it to date in either Clavis Sciences or in any of the divisions of the Geographic Society.

Orren Editor: I agree. The last thing we need is a debilitating and pointless witch hunt. A transparency report should be sufficient until evidence proves otherwise.

Hank: Tell that to our friends down at Vulpix HQ. They'd hit panic mode once they think we threaten their shareholder value.

Orren Editor: Do we really have to kowtow to those conspiracy nuts? They have a pundit who failed grade school peddling lies and their stock values haven't fallen. Their stock values are practically iron clad.

Jean: If I may suggest. We would need to maintain our reputational integrity either way, and as the public hungers for a statement, we would need to give one more concrete than what we've given. I say, we condemn Linant Clavis—as this is our current consensus—and make no official editorial response on the rest of the Clavis family or the case beyond current reportage until after the meeting. Even if there were malicious agents within our organization, the last thing we need is to alienate a backer with such clout as Aphrodite Clavis without just cause.

Beat.

Jean: And Hank, would you rather that we hand over the majority stake to Vulpix?

Edited by MasterJayAM on Jan 18th 2019 at 2:48:16 AM

Ultra Plant

Channah: -quickly follows as Basil starts drawing a couple lightning bolts away from her to himself-

???

-The area we enter next appears to be some sort of forest nestled in a valley, the squiggle-shaped trees bearing either leaves or flowers resembling the top portion of a Kartana, and the ground covered with leaves resembling rectangular strips of paper. Also around are small rock formations that look as if they were formed with a blade, which along with the sandy ground on the path gives the impression of a [Japanese] rock garden-

Cosmog: -Floats around weakly-

-To Cosmog-

Hey, don't do that again unless absolutely necessary, okay?

Lucani: <I guess this must be where Kartana come from.>

Edited by rmctagg09 on Jan 17th 2019 at 7:12:33 AM

Ultra Forest

Channah: -looks around- It's an improvement. I think. -returns Basil to rest and sends out Liberty- Something sliced through the rock here?

Liberty: <Someone's good with a shiv.>