Show an affirming flame
...keep going north until you're out of the "border zone" commercial district between my town and the one south of mine. When the gangsters start firing with their pistols, call the policemen, and they'll provide an escort. Keep the pedal to the metal until you're no longer under fire; the local cops are rather understanding about speeding in this kind of situation...
Charlie Stross's cheerful, optimistic predictions for 2017, part one of three.
Defiler of Shops
...Keep speeding over the cliff. You'll probably fall into the river, but if you don't, there's a huge stockpile of butter to push your car down into the river. You will float along, but when you get to the trees that form the Mona Lisa...
Soul is ugly.
watching down on us
...abandon ship and dive underwater. When you see the giant spike of rock that's about to kill you, dive into the little hole that's just in front of it and keep swimming in that tunnel until you find an air pocket...
edited 30th Jan '11 1:26:19 PM by annebeeche
Banned entirely for telling FE that he was being rude and not contributing to the discussion. I shall watch down from the goon heavens.
Back by Unpopular Demand
...then swim up to shore. You will see an island that is empty besides a man named Reggie. He will kill you unless you say, “The drinks are in the cooler.” Then, he will escort you to an underground bunker and let you on a boat, decline and ask for a tractor. He will then give you a futuristic Airplane that flies itself. Thank him and get on...
Edited by DookieIdiotNimrod on Jun 10th 2020 at 1:55:50 AM
...after having your pockets turned inside-out. When the man of the left of you starts coughing to the tune of Justin Bieber's "Baby", ask the flight attendant for a cup of water with a lemon. When you get it...
I'm back, I guess.
...you threw it away for some reason, and then you go to the plane on your right. When you come inside it...
Is that how it works?
Edited by AutisticAlivia on Jun 11th 2020 at 6:57:16 AM
I can't think of a good signature.
Back by Unpopular Demand
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
yes! (but use second person speaking.)
...Sit in a row where there is a fire exit. When the snack lady comes out, open the exit. She will give you a parachute. Jump out of the plane and pull out the parachute. Try to land on the green field. Then.....
Edited by DookieIdiotNimrod on Jun 11th 2020 at 6:30:43 AM
uwu'd too hard
...walk south-east until you see a blue bear. The bear will guide you to...
my current job
...a Rainbow Gathering in Oregon. Once you're there, head straight to the back and pick up the third scroll from the white man in Indian garb (just ignore the offensiveness question for now). Do not talk to anyone else, they're all creepy as fuck. The scroll will tell you...
The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
Back by Unpopular Demand
...That inside of a mountain, there is a Teleporting dog that will get you out of this place. To know which mountain it is, shoot the man who gave you the scroll. All of the other...things will tell you that it is to your right. Then.......
Edited by DookieIdiotNimrod on Jun 11th 2020 at 2:17:24 AM
...go to your right. You should see an empty plastic cup. Pick it up. After that....
uwu'd too hard
...fill it with water from the nearby stream. Venture towards the mountain and find the dog. Once you find them, pour the water onto the dog. Then say...
Back by Unpopular Demand
..., “ Ooga Booga, Yo Mamma So Fat”, twice. Then the dog will gain the ability to speak. Fly on him. Then...
Semain Calm
Find the dog a boyfriend. It's not that hard: you just gotta get him on some sort of dating app and see if there are any single dogs in your area.
and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.
the cake is an alternative fact
Establish a date between the dogs, then have your dog take you down a dark alley in between two restaurants. After leaving them to their date- Oh... Oh, that's a hookup. Get as far away from there as possible.
she magnificent my bastard till i complete on her monster
Upload a video onto YouTube describing your experiences getting to this point. After 12 hours, check out the comments...
Semain Calm
Then, disable the comments and smash your computer.
and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.
my current job
The wreckage your computer leaves will form an arrow. Keep walking in that line until...
The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
Back by Unpopular Demand
You come across a rabid bear. Kill it. Then it will drop...
Nothing, but a red mark in the shape of a key will appear on your hand. There should be tree with part of the bark etched into the shape of a lock nearby. Press your hand against it and...
Edited by Routeferret on Jul 1st 2020 at 2:19:08 PM
i think i’m in love (probably just hungry)
Semain Calm
A glowing path should form on the forest floor. It should lead you to a stone formation. Wait there until midnight, and you will find...
and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.
Back by Unpopular Demand
...A Brown Paper Bag With The Words “Key” on it. If you take what’s inside and put it in your mouth, you will be transported to...
The Fourth-Placers' Revenge
...a hidden cave full of treasure. Take the golden pickaxe you find there, but don't touch anything else. Use the pickaxe to dig through the south wall and you'll find...
I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.
Oh, how to get to my house? Well let's see.
Turn right on Street Road, then go forward until the school made of purple bricks is on your left...
edited 30th Jan '11 12:10:38 PM by Reecer6
Soul is ugly.