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WMG / Chess

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     The Game 
The Bishops are female
Why, you may ask? Well, I just think so for some reason and it's Wild Mass Guessing.
  • Then why do they look like penises?
    • Penis Envy.
  • Even weirder when you consider that historically, women have been barred from becoming actual bishops.

The King is married to the Queen and every other piece is a member of his Harem
Yes, the King. My theory is he is married to the Queen, but every other piece is a female member of his harem. The fact that pawns can promote to Queens as well as any other piece may lend some support to this. And, when the King loses, the game is automatically over. Why? Because the opposing side takes the other pieces for their King's harem.
  • First argument doesn't quite work for Russia, through, as Queen is called Ferz'(Ферзь), or "vizier".
The Chess was invented by a Feminist
  • How else can the Queen - the only unambiguously female piece in the game - be the most powerful piece in the game?
    • Britain, of course, where powerful queens are not atypical. (In early versions of the game such as shatranj, the queen was the fers or "vizier" and could only move one space at a time, diagonally, making her even weaker than the king.)
  • Extra ironic when you realize modern Chess culture takes a lot of heat for being such a male dominated game, especially at higher levels.

After the Bolivian Army Ending the winning side spares the life of the loser for him to live with the shame.
At least until they meet again for the rematch.

The King is an Amazon Chaser
Hence why he's married to one of the most blatantly overpowered individuals around, rivaled only by her black/white counterpart. A promoted pawn is one who has shown off an incredible ability to survive the heat of battle, so the king marries her straight away (regardless of whether there's another queen or not). Heck, that might even be the cause of the conflict between White and Black... each king chasing after the other's wife (and going on a Roaring Rampage of Revenge if she's ever captured, or subjecting the queen to a Scarpia Ultimatum if Checkmate occurs before then).

The Pawns can't move backwards because they'll be executed if they retreat
...Because if they could, the first thing they'd do is turn around and kill their kings.
  • Then why wouldn't they kill their kings after promotion?
    • Well, they're now part of the aristocracy instead of a peasant conscript...

     The Musical (American Version) 

The old man really was Florence's father
The State Department hung the both of them out to dry in order to get their man.

     The Musical (British Version) 

Viigand is an Autistic Savant
He doesn't talk because he can't. He's brilliant at chess, but it's the only useful thing he can do.
  • Doesn't he have a line in act 1? Comes in to Anatoly's hotel after 'Where I Want To Be', says a line, and gets told to go to hell? I might be thinking of a different show here though.


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