Today is Street Cleaning Day in Night Vale. Remain calm and run away screaming.
John Peters, you know, the farmer, found a lone door in the desert. He suspects there are Eldritch Abominations on the other side, and keeps a sleepless vigil over the door.
The Sheriff's Secret Police are cracking down on wheat and wheat byproduct speakeasies.
The City Council goes on a definitely planned vacation to Miami to escape Street Cleaning Day. They leave in charge Paul Burmingham, who subsequently fakes his death to escape Street Cleaning Day.
A word from our sponsors: Target. It would like you to consider the variance of silence in the world. Shop at Target.
Cecil attempts to educate us about clouds, but finds himself censored. Listeners are told to stop looking at clouds, or indeed thinking about them. The radio cuts to the sound of predatory birds.
Sirens going off in central Night Vale warn about sirens going off in Oldtown Night Vale. The only way to live without regrets is not to regret anything you do.
Traffic: Streets now have large glowing arrows. Drive over them, and get a boost in speed. Trucks are on the way to euthanize a stalled car. There are infinite accidents. Everything is an accident — or at least, let us hope so.
No information about Street Cleaning Day can get through the radio station's barricade, so Cecil offers speculation on what is going on outside their recording bunker.
After the weather, Street Cleaning Day is over. The survivors exult. One proposes to another, but fails. The survivors move to central park and link hands. City Council returns, and is accepted into the gathering. Life goes on.
Tropes present in Street Cleaning Day include:
- Blatant Lies: After finding out it was Street Cleaning Day, City Council realized they had forgotten that they had all planned to go on vacation in Miami right at that time. As this was a pre-planned vacation, it definitely had a defined end date, but it wouldn't be revealed until the Street Cleaners left.
- Driven to Suicide: All Night Vale's Street Cleaner experts commit suicide on Street Cleaning Day, because as long as you move or give off heat, there's no way to be safe.
- Nitro Boost: Dash Pads have been added to some of Night Vale's roads.Save time and gas, and get your high-occupancy vehicle to work on time!
- Nothing Is Scarier: We don't find out what the Street Cleaners are or what they do, besides that they're considered terrifying even by Night Vale standards.
