A Major Burnum is sent by the Army to the 4077th on a "fact-finding" tour. Hawkeye and Klinger do some digging and find evidence that he's part of an effort by the Army to form a new MASH unit, and quickly assume that Burnum is there to assess who among them will be reassigned to it. What follows is a variety of capers and shenanigans, as each member of the staff set out to prove their undesirability as candidates, baffling Burnum with their bizarre behavior.
Attention all personnel! Major Burnum is studying the following tropes:
- Dope Slap: To keep Potter distracted, Mulcahy claimed that he needed a portrait done for back home. The whole rumor business is only resolved after Potter is done painting it. Mulcahy is about to confess out of guilt, but Margaret does this to stop him.
- Entertainingly Wrong: The whole episode is based around this, as the staff assume Burnum wants to pull someone out of the 4077th to work at the new MASH. In reality, he just wants to study the 4077th's methods so they can be applied to the new unit.
- Green-Eyed Monster: Hawkeye frets over being picked to be chief surgeon for the possible new MASH, which he thinks is an absolute certainty on the grounds they'd want the best of the best. This rankles B.J., who laughs off Hawkeye's claims of being the best.B.J.: Because I'm just as capable of being chief whatever wherever as you are.
- Irony: In the early seasons, Margaret spent a LOT of time belittling and disrespecting Henry Blake and attempted to have him jailed or transferred several times. In this episode, after a mountain of Character Development, she's willing to do whatever it takes to keep Col. Potter from being transferred from the 4077th.
- The times visiting officers complain about the 4077th's unorthodox methods are innumerable. THIS time, Major Burnham explains that actually the Army wants to copy their methods to make the new unit as successful.
- It's All About Me: Klinger, Hawkeye and BJ all immediately assume a new MASH unit would want to snap them up (Klinger for his scrounging skills, Hawk or Beej both believing they'd be chief surgeon). Averted by Margaret who, despite being a top notch head nurse, is more concerned that Colonel Potter will be taken from them.
- Obfuscating Stupidity: Hawkeye and BJ lean heavily into this, trying to convince Burnum of their thorough incompetence as surgeons.
- Oblivious Guilt Slinging: So that Margaret could talk to Burnham alone, Mulcahy claimed to Potter that he needed a portrait done posthaste to send back home for a specific function. After the whole situation is resolved, Mulcahy tries to backtrack by saying plans have changed. Potter opts to keep the portrait in his office, saying anything resembling Mulcahy will keep him honest to a fault. Mulcahy feels so ashamed that he's about to confess the whole ruse, until Margaret smacks him.
- Oh, Crap!: Winchester is reduced to wordless gasping when he hears Burnum's announcement that a new MASH unit is being formed closer to the front.
- Vitriolic Best Buds: Summed up nicely when Hawkeye and B.J. both get into it over ego and the prospect of being separated.Hawkeye: Either way, they're gonna separate us, and you're my best friend. I never get along this well with anybody, you moron!
B.J.: Well, that goes double for me, stupid!
