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Viacheslav Datsik is a Russian MMA fighter who goes into the cage to kick ass and give a fuck — and he is all out of fuck. He leads with his face like he knows something about faces that we don't. He throws flying two-legged kicks that gravity barely knows what to do with. He thinks the somersault is the end result of thousands of years of martial science. He throws attacks so unrelated to his opponent's location that you'd swear he stepped on a bee hive. He fights like an octopus falling down electrified stairs.

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Mortadelo: Watch those five bricks, watch them! IAIAAAAK!
[Mortadelo hits a karate chop on the pile of bricks, to no apparent effect]
Mortadelo: That's it! All five broken!
Super: Broken? They don't even look bruised to me...
Mortadelo: [showing his badly injured hand] I mean all five fingers! Ow! I don't have a healthy bone left in them!
Mortadelo y Filemón, "Los superpoderes"

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