"Okay, my mom just canceled my brother's World of Warcraft account, and he is flipping out."
— Jack
"Stop playing with me on the stairs!"
— Stephen
"Oh my God, why is his bed on the ground?!"
— Jack
"You make toast. I make art."
— Stephen
Grandma: Do I have to get my paddle?
Stephen: Oh my God, anything but the paddle, that hurts so bad. You're so strong.
Grandma: I've had enough practice, I can do it.
Stephen: Okay, Barry Bonds, get the paddle.
Grandma: (grabbing her paddle and approaching him) You son of a bitch.
Stephen: St- what is wrong with you?!
Grandma: I want a little respect!
Stephen: You can't hit me in the face with it!
Grandma: You wanna bet?!
Stephen: Yeah!
Grandma: Then stand up!
Stephen: No! (Gets smacked) Ow! What is wrong with you?!
Stephen: Oh my God, anything but the paddle, that hurts so bad. You're so strong.
Grandma: I've had enough practice, I can do it.
Stephen: Okay, Barry Bonds, get the paddle.
Grandma: (grabbing her paddle and approaching him) You son of a bitch.
Stephen: St- what is wrong with you?!
Grandma: I want a little respect!
Stephen: You can't hit me in the face with it!
Grandma: You wanna bet?!
Stephen: Yeah!
Grandma: Then stand up!
Stephen: No! (Gets smacked) Ow! What is wrong with you?!
—The climax of the showdown between Stephen and his Grandma.
"Where's the phone? ... you got it up your ass too?"
— Stephen's grandmother
"Mom! I want my turkey breast with frickin' gravy!"
— Stephen
"Boy, I can't watch football for an hour without you breaking shit?"
— Stephen's dad.
"I will find you and eat your first-born child!"
— Stephen
"Where's Robin gonna sit?"
— Jack, on Stephen's batmobile.
