"I learnt to masturbate too, I just masturbate in 140 characters or less."
— Josh Thomas, on the Pope
"This is why I don't sing on this show. I like to keep my dignity."
— Mikey, wearing a SPAM tin
"The TV Hat: When you want to watch a DVD, but find yourself wearing a giant hat!"
— Paul McDermott
"Should we get the game started?"
— Paul (often)
"It was a shit pun and I made it shitter!"
— Frank Woodley
"And next week is Mardi Gras in Sydney, and Carnivale in Rio, which is just like Mardi Gras, except the topless women are attractive. [...] I love all the gay people of the world. I find you all very attractive."
"Do you ever get the feeling that we're doing, like, a curiosity show on acid?"