"Wow! A 17 A.D. tuna fish sandwich. A great year. And oddly enough that very sandwich contained the cure for zombification. Just as penicillin was discovered in the moss of a tree in the forest, so, too, was the cure for zombification slowly cultivating in the mayonnaise of that ancient sandwich. Who knew? The rest of the world is still fallen to the zombie plague, but with your immunized blood, you were eventually able to team up with some scientists and craft yourself a cure. This sets off a chain reaction of cures marching across the entire globe. Finally ridding the world of the nightmares that was the zombie virus. Now that life has returned to normal, the box that contained the cure for zombieism sits in your living room collecting dust. A lovely centerpiece to cap off a crazy life."
— The ending narration for Ending 8: The Cure
"For a 2,000 year-old sandwich, it really wasn't that bad. I mean, the peanut butter had turned to dust and the jelly had run to slime, but somehow they combined into a taste sensation that would haunt you for the rest of your days. You still turned into a zombie, but to be perfectly honest, it wasn't so bad. Sure, you're still undead, but something about that sandwich made you a lot less aggressive than your typical zombie. With you vouching for him, zombies didn't seem to mind Mark all that much. And with Mark vouching for you, the remaining humans don't seem to mind you either. You both make some friends, find a community to protect, and carve out a nice little life for yourselves in the far flung future. All together, not so bad. But that sandwich, it was terrible."
— The ending narration for Ending 9: Friends of the Dead
"As a matter of fact, you do fit right in. Whether it's welcoming new members of the family, throwing birthday parties for the warden, or simply keeping the prison in tip-top shape, you take to your new life behind bars with gusto and joy. It really isn't so bad surrendering your freedom. Not so bad at all. Now all you have to do is figure out a way to ensure you stay behind bars. Parole's coming up soon, and you definitely don't want that, do you? But don't worry! Every problem can be solved if you put your big, smart brain to the task. Youse gonna fit right in."
— The ending narration for Ending 10: Life Sentence
"Ah, Treasure. The chicken of the sea. You haul the booty back to the ship and share it with the rest of your family, and they in turn share with you. You spend the rest of your days sailing the seven seas, swashbuckling your way to riches. You steal from the rich. You steal from the poor. And you make friends along the way. It really isn't about the destination. It's about the journey. But the treasure ain't too shabby neither."
— The ending narration for Ending 22: A Pirate's Life for me
"True to his word, he gives you a buffet of tasty morsels every day for the rest of your life. You and Mark spend the next few years in bliss with a parade of bountiful delicious food that you can eat to your heart's content. You never did figure out where all that food was coming from, but at the end of the day, when it tastes this good, does it really matter? Does it?"
— The ending narration to Ending 25: Don't Judge a Book by Its Human-Skin Cover
