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Funny / Touched by an Angel

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  • Tess and David in Southbound Bus.
    Tess: You must be little David.
    David: I'm not little.
    Tess: Well, I never saw adults with dinosaurs on their underwear before.
  • "Honey, you are plunging into the lion's den... You're dealing with a lawyer."
  • I really liked the bit in Fallen Angels when Monica mentions her ocean phobia.
    Monica: I'm afraid of the water.
    Tess: Say that again?
    Monica: I never had to work near lakes and oceans. I always asked to be excused from those and I was. Bad memories of the Flood, I guess.
    Tess: This is ridiculous! What is the first thing an angel says? "Fear not. Be not afraid. Except for large bodies of water." Is that it?!
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  • In "Something Blue," Monica throws herself totally into wedding planning, complete with insisting she, Tess and Andrew dress alike.
    Bride: Team Matrimony?
    Tess: The hats were her idea.
  • Monica, on psychotrophic drugs.
    You don't know what you're dealing with here. I could break you like *snaps* THAT!
    • (Cue Fridge Horror when the audience realizes she really could.)
  • Monica's coffee addiction! She orders the strangest stuff sometimes.
    • There's also this gem from Tess in "Sins of the Father": "You stole my car! You stole it and then you killed it! Will you look at this? The Angel of Death done killed my car!"
    • Actually, Tess is pretty hilarious when anybody messes with her car. In Season 4's "Sandcastles," she experiences car trouble and Andrew tries to fix it. She ends up giving him a classic Tess tongue-lashing, complaining about "getting her hands all greasy" and lecturing Andrew on his talents, or lack thereof.
  • In "Inherit the Wind," Deadpan Snarker George the butler greets Kevin Greeley with, "Master Kevin, last night, someone carved the words, 'This party is da bomb' on the baby grand piano." His British accent and calm delivery totally sell it.

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