- A scene in the first episode has Anne staring at her phone after hanging up on a call. The camera pans around to a nearby notice board, and one of the posters reads "STARING UPSET AT YOUR PHONE? Don't let your interesting modern relationship interfere with work"
- When Kerry Newblood explains the reason she started killing people, and how she first found out that her absent father was Jack Cloth. She went to the same therapy centre as his twin, Terry Cloth, and he realised that she must be his brother's daughter. How did he recognise the connection? She walked past, in jogging pants, with a foot long erection! Her being played by the very attractive Karen Gillan just made it all the funnier.
- Hairihan is told by Oldman that he has to find some way to shut down the live charity broadcast "Help a Blameless Child" hosted by Konnie Huq and Rufus Hound (as themselves) as there is a bomb in the building. As Hairihan is at a loss about how to do this, Oldman suggests he could hijack the autocue. The results speaks for themselves. What especially sells it is that both Huq and Hound are saying the lines with in completely straight-faced "cheerful TV-presenter" manner:Konnie Huq: Hello and welcome back to "Help a Blameless Shit", where our totaliser currently stands at more than we need and every penny you donate is spent on providing backrubs for racists!
Rufus Hound: Yeah, because most of the kids we've shown you are simply making their symptoms up! In fact, the only thing they're suffering from is acute lying syndrome.
Konnie Huq: And remember, every child you've seen tonight is a holocaust denier!
(later, as a man in owl costume is on-stage)
Konnie Huq: So George Osborne is standing inside this costume, right now, with a huge erection and the more money you pledge, the harder it gets.
Rufus Hound: So for God's sake, stop pledging money, you dreadful, stinking scum!
- The entirety of Jack's inexplicable Last Minute Hookup with Tom Boss:Ann: I thought maybe you and I could catch up.
Jack: I'm catching up with someone else. (looks to Tom)
Ann: But I don't understand.
Jack: Nor do I. That's just how feelings work.
Ann: But you hate him.
Jack: Love and hate don't mean anything, they're just words we use to describe meaningful feelings.
Ann: He killed your wife!
Jack: (with a shrug) No-one's perfect.
Ann: But I love you, Jack! I love you!
Jack: Anne, you're a lesbian. You've forgotten which side you're on.
Ann: You can't love him, you're straight!
Jack: Bi, Anne. (walks over to Tom)
- Tom Boss, being questioned by the press, gets fed up and asks for someone to "Get rid of these vermin." An SS-officer, in full uniform and armed with a submachine gun, walks in from outside the frame and drives back the journalists by threatening them with his weapon and barking angry orders in German.Journalist: Dave Glegg, Victim Today. Are we being lead to our deaths?
- This even hilariously darker, as Boss and Oldman immediately afterwards gets into a police car to speak privately, while the firing of a machine gun and screams can be heard in the background.
Funny / A Touch of Cloth