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Funny / Sweet Ermengarde

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  • Very atypically for Lovecraft, "Sweet Ermengarde" is intentionally funny. In particular, the Dastardly Whiplash behavior of the villain 'Squire Hardman, is hilarious:

    But these tender passages, sacred though their fervour, did not pass unobserved by profane eyes; for crouched in the bushes and gritting his teeth was the dastardly ’Squire Hardman! When the lovers had finally strolled away he leapt out into the lane, viciously twirling his moustache and riding-crop, and kicking an unquestionably innocent cat who was also out strolling.
    "Curses!" he cried — Hardman, not the cat — "I am foiled in my plot to get the farm and the girl!"

    One day as ’Squire Hardman sat in the front parlour of his expensive and palatial home, indulging in his favourite pastime of gnashing his teeth and swishing his riding-crop, a great thought came to him; and he cursed aloud at the statue of Satan on the onyx mantelpiece.

  • The dastardly Squire Hardman seeks to marry Sweet Ermengarde to seize the gold under her family's farm, and kidnaps her to that end, threatening to foreclose the mortgage on the farm if she does not marry him. Halfway through the Squire remembers that he already owns the mortgage for the farm! Hardman then apologizes to Ermengarde for the trouble and lets her go.

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