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Funny / Sword Art Online

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     Season 1/Volumes 1- 4 
  • In Episode 1 of the anime/Volume 1 of the Light Novel, Klein was groin attacked twice. The first was from a Frenzy Boar and the second for Kirito from asking info of Kirito's sister. Both times he overreacts before realizing that the game doesn't actually transmit pain.
  • Kirito's Crash-Into Hello situation with Asuna in Volume 1. He experimentally grasps something soft, tries to figure out what it is, realised that he's groping Asuna... and he can't remember any of the placating statements he prepared for a situation like this.
  • "Warmth of the Heart" (Episode 7/Light Novel 2): The way Kirito says he thinks they should escape the giant hole by running up the wall signals a hilarious Epic Fail is on the way.
    • What really sells it is how utterly blasé Kirito is about the entire situation:
      Lisbeth: You're insane.
      Kirito: Maybe, but that's all I got for ideas right now.
      * cue Epic Fail, punctuated further with a Kirito-shaped hole in the ground*
      Kirito: *seemingly unfazed by the fall* ...If I had more of a running start, I probably would have made it.
      Lisbeth: Yeah, I don't think so.
  • Asuna said that marriage in SAO is romantic and pragmatic, after a brief pause this happens
    Kirito: So, uh, how many times have you been married, anyway?
    * Asuna immediately grabs a fork and holds it to Kirito's face*
    Kirito: Wait, I didn't mean it! That didn't come out right! You were talking about how it's romantic and plastic and—
    Asuna: *interrupts Kirito* I did NOT say that, you ass! *kicks Kirito in the shin* What I said is that it's romantic and pragmatic! For your information, the word "pragmatic" means "practical."
  • In Volume one of the Light Novel Kirito tells Asuna that they should sleep together and he reacts with shock at seeing her naked, having meant literally just sleeping in the same bed, causing her to react with embarrassment.
  • Speaking of which, Asuna has a tendency to threaten Kirito with kitchen utensils. While Kirito is invited to Asuna's place so she can cook the Ragout Rabbit for him, she uses a butter knife (that gets charged with a sword skill) to force him to join her party.
  • The first time Klein and Asuna meet, he immediately regresses from being a confident swordsman and leader into a nervous wreck.
    • In fact Klein has become frozen with shock over the fact that Kirito is in a party and practically on a date with Asuna, so that he stops responding and Kirito thinks he's lagging.
    • And then he asks Asuna to treat Kirito well, even though he's not very good with words, isn't very fun and battle-obsessed. The reactions are what cross the line. Asuna's declaration: "Please leave him to me!" Kirito's response is to run away.
  • During the last day of their honeymoon, Kirito and Asuna agree to help an old player with a rare fishing based monster spawn. While Kirito is reeling in, everyone else flees a couple hundred yards when they realize how massive it is. When Kirito looks up to see the hulking monster climbing onto land, he takes off like a bullet, cowering behind Asuna and complaining about how his wife ran away and left him to die.
  • After Kirito loses to his sister in a sparring match, he tries to sheathe the bamboo sword the same way he sheathed his swords in the game. Suguha's comment about whether he "hit his head" makes it even funnier as she was the one to smack it a few moments earlier (with a shout of "Men").
  • Kirito learns that (most of) his SAO skills carried over to ALfheim Online. When he learns that he needs to delete all the incompatible items that also got carried over so he doesn't get attention from the Game Master, he struggles to press Delete. Think about it for a second. Kirito is forced to erase all his hard-earned loot, something dedicated players of other games wouldn't even dare to do that easily. He did retain Yui as well as massive amounts of Yrd, the latter important later in the arc.
  • After Kirito straight-up destroys a Salamander raid team aimed at his head with the Beast Form spell, Leafa has a moment of Fridge Horror when she realized Kirito basically ate some of them and in the anime she asks him what they tasted like, he responds by saying "kinda like grilled meat just before it gets burnt, all crispy and" then gets cut off by Leafa saying, "Sorry I asked". Cue Kirito teasingly chomping down on her hand, and getting smacked for it.
    • Later on once they're in Lugrue, Kirito still has a red hand print on his face, he tries to explain he was just trying to break the tension with a joke, Leafa flatly tells him "Bite me again and I'll cut you in half"
    • The handprint's texture seems to indicate that he took HP damage.
  • In the aforementioned Salamander scene, it's impossible not to laugh at the party leader's expression of horror when monster Kirito has wiped out most of the other members. He's so terrified that he runs to the edge of the bridge, briefly hesitating when he remembers the underwater monsters but then going "Aw, screw it!" and jumping into the river to avoid Kirito's wrath. Then Leafa has to step in to remind Kirito that they need the last member alive before he eats him.
  • Kirito getting surrounded by two beautiful women and making him uncomfortable is funny in itself, until you look closely at Kirito's left-breast pocket.
    • Related: Sakuya and Alicia vamping it up in the English dub of the anime.
      Alicia: Oh come on, Sakuya, that's not fair! You're totally seducing him with those things!
      Sakuya: I'm seducing him? If you were any closer to him, he'd be wearing you!
      Kirito: [Kirito makes a "Why me?" expression]
  • At Agil's party, Kirito orders a bourbon on the rocks. Agil hands him a glass, but then Kirito says, "What gives? This is oolong tea!" Sorry Kirito, you may be the hero of SAO, but you're still only 16.
  • This is made even funnier when Klein asks for the same thing almost immediately afterwards.
  • Immediately before Kirito's second round in Arun during the Fairy Dance arc, he and Leafa have to explain things to Recon.
    Leafa: We're raiding the World Tree - him, you, and me.
    Recon: All right... Wait, what!?

     Season 2/Volumes 5- 7 
  • Near the end of the GGO arc, Kirito and Sinon take shelter in a cave during the BoB tournament. As the number of players decline to a relative handful, livestream cameras start looking at them. Kirito is worried about what others may think of the two appearing so cozy, especially considering Kirito's avatar...
    Sinon: I don't care, they can think what they want! The guys in this game are dorks. If they think I'm gay, at least they'll stop hitting on me every five seconds.
  • The party for the Calibur arc becomes Fridge Humour when you think of party balance. Five members (Kirito, Asuna, Liz, Silica, Klein), out of a maximum of seven (players), are SAO survivors. SAO survivors see their weapons as proof of existence and thus don't use magic. The end result is that their only magic is healing from a few Combat Medics, so they don't have any offensive spells. Their sixth member is Suguha, whose first VRMMORPG was ALO, so she doesn't have any bias... except she's a real-world kendo practitioner who joined ALO for the freedom of flight, so Leafa is a speed-focused Sylph with a bit of buffs and healing. So they don't have any offensive spells. Their seventh member is Sinon, who's originally from GGO and only joined ALO to have fun with Kirito and his friends... except Sinon was a sniper in GGO, so she forgoes magic and swordplay in favour of being "the only player in ALO who wants to snipe someone from 100 meters". So they still don't have any offensive spells. None of them fully realize the impact of this until they run into a Dual Boss with a physical-resistant specialist and a magic-resistant specialist and they're all but boned.
  • At the conclusion of Caliber, after Sinon succeeds in retrieving Excalibur for Kirito, she turns to him and presents the sword. She then trolls the entire harem, saying with a big smile, "Please think of me every time you draw this sword." Cue Asuna and the harem giving him Death Glares.
    Klein: 'Man, it must be so hard for you chick magnets.
    (Kirito kicks him in the face, still holding Excalibur)
    • The cause of that was because of one sentence, "Thanks for the Tsukkomi.".
    • In regards to Kirito's hairstyle in Caliber side story :
      A little fairy flew from Asuna's shoulder - she was a Navigation Pixie named Yui, landed on my head and sat down. My Avatar, the Spriggan «Kirito», had long pointed hair, at Yui's request now I have my old hairstyle. The reason was it was «hard to sit on».
  • In Volume 7, a while after Kirito arrives to Hold the Line against an entire guild so Asuna and the Sleeping Knights can take on the floor's boss, Klein also shows up behind said guild to assist Kirito. Then we have this hilarious exchange between Klein and Kirito, shouting at each other from across the room.
    Klein: SORRY, I GOT LOST!!
  • Later on, when Asuna's mother, Kyouko, goes online for the first time, she notes how light she is, and Asuna points out that since the avatar weighs approximately 40 kg (only 88 pounds, significantly lighter than an adult woman). Kyouko takes umbrage, and suggests that perhaps Asuna's the one who's overweight.


     Season 1 and Extra Edition 
  • After the players real looks are exposed on their avatars, a beautiful couple that we saw earlier are actually revealed to be two older guys. Their reaction is priceless:
    "Pretty Guy": Son of a—you're a guy?
    "Pretty Girl": You're not seventeen?
    • Remember how Silica had fans pursuing her and trying to get her to join their party? Her fans are these two guys and the G.I.R.L. is still wearing female armor!
    • Post-ALO, at least one of them was trapped in Sugou's experiments, and they're seen hugging each other. Heartwarming, yes, but their bodies just make it look funny.
  • In Episode 4, Kirito knocks on Silica's bedroom door, and she nearly answers the door while in her underwear.
  • In Episode 5, after Kirito and Asuna witness a player getting killed in a safezone and agree to work together to uncover the truth, they shake hands with Asuna telling Kirito there was no more time for napping (as she and Kirito had done so earlier). Kirito promptly points out Asuna napped for longer than he did, to which she crushes his hand and his scream is heard from miles away.
  • The first time Asuna gives Kirito a sandwich that she made herself. Kirito loves it so much he suggests Asuna could sell it, only to become distracted and drop it, where it promptly impacts the ground and the item's durability hits its limit and shatters. Kirito then has an over the top emotional reaction, with his palms on the ground as if grieving his sandwich. (He's actually having a "Eureka!" Moment about the safe zone "murders", but it's funnier to imagine otherwise)
    • But what really sells it is the avalanche of memes that spawned from this single scene of people mourning the sandwich as if it was an actual character. Sandwich-kun!
  • In Episode 10, while Kirito and Asuna are at Asuna's house, Asuna strips down to her underwear and tells Kirito to get undressed as well. When a flustered Kirito says that wasn't what he meant when he said he wanted to spend the night with her, Asuna punches him out. With a Sword Skill.
  • Kirito telling Asuna a ghost story in episode 11. He may be a Nice Guy and all, but he's definitely Not So Above It All. Asuna's terror makes it all the better, especially when they see a real ghost. (Really an AI named Yui).
  • In Episode 12, after defeating a bunch of frog monsters easily, Kirito comes over to Asuna saying they dropped some items, after she asks if there was anything good, he shows her a giant frog leg telling her it's Scavenged Toad Meat and says maybe she can cook it later
    Asuna: Not on your life! [grabs leg and throws it away]
    Kirito: What the hellll?! Oh, come on, what'd you do that for?! Damn it! Okay, fine! [holds up a ton of frog legs] What am I gonna do with these?!
    Asuna: [throwing the legs one by one] No! No, no, no, no, no!
    Kirito: Asuna! I-It's good meat!
    Asuna: Get rid of it!
    Kirito: But it's delicious! You just have to eat it warm!
    Asuna: Shut up!
    • Then the next shot shows Asuna has shoved one of the frog legs into Kirito's mouth!
  • Episode 13, Season 1 has a good one just before the opening where Kirito meets an old player that joins him in fishing. He catches one and mentions that even though he's good at catching them he's not good at cooking, and says he'd love to try fish with soy sauce (which, earlier in the series, Asuna told Kirito how to make its in-game equivalent) when he tells the guy this there's a beat, then cue a rather amusingly horrifying Art Shift as the guy screams "WAIT, SAY WHAAAAAAAAT?!"
  • A small one from episode 16: Kirito, desperate for answers, arrives at Agil/Andrew's bar in order to learn more about the mysterious image of Asuna being seen in a VRMMO game. When he learns about Alfheim Online, he geeks out so much at the prospect of a VRMMO where you can fly that he apparently briefly forgets about Asuna completely, and only catches himself after a moment.
  • In Episode 16 of the anime, Suguha and her mother are talking about Kazuto's parents. Midori mentions that Kazuto asked about them when he was about 10, and Sugu wonders if that's got to do with his escapism since middle school. Midori doesn't think so... because he built a machine out of junk parts at age 6. This can give you the very amusing mental image of Tony Stark as Kirito... or, alternately, Kazuto as Iron Man.
  • Used equipment salesman Kirito.
    • Context: Kirito just ate all the poor Salamander's party members. Due to ALO's PvP mechanics, that 45080 Yuld and those 14 items are his prize. If the poor guy tells Kirito about why he's there, he'll give them back.
    • Immediately after the Salamander agrees, Leafa turns to Yui (who's still on her shoulder at this time) and mutters, "Men." Funny enough on its own, but then you realize that, if Suguha ever learns that Yui is not just a Navigation Pixie, but in fact Kazuto's adoptive daughter A.I. with true intelligence, it is after the Alfheim arc is over. She speaks to Kirito's Navi-Pixie because Yui is the only other girl there at the time.
  • Kirito's failed attempts at flying during his first log-in in ALO especially this:
    Leafa: Kirito, you do know how to land, right?
    Kirito: [Beat] ...No, not really.
    Leafa: [freaking a little] Uh-I-Oh, crap. [sheepishly flying off] Too late now! You're on your own!
    Kirito: WHAT?! YOU'RE KIDDING MEEEEEE! [cue Loud Crash Offscreen]
  • Kazuto and Suguha are in their house garden in winter, and Kazuto decides to play a prank on Suguha by telling her to turn around - and puts down water down her back. Her reaction is hilarious.
    • And of course, the fandom was quick to joke that Kazuto told Sugu turn around for a completely different reason.
  • After getting to Legrue, when Leafa has to log out she asks Yui to watch over her avatar while she's gone, saying "I don't want your dad to mess with it while I'm out" which leads to Kirito saying totally deadpan "You gotta be kidding me."
  • Sword Art Online Extra Edition contains hilarious scenes where Rika/Lisbeth lampshades stuff, namely: Keiko/Silica looks nothing like Suguha (especially in the chest), Kirito and Asuna having sex and getting married in SAO, and Suguha's more than familial feelings for Kirito. Everyone gets very defensive when these things are brought up.
    • In one scene, the SAO girls (and Suguha) are all enjoying themselves at a pool. Suguha (who can't swim) arrives with a flotation ring, however Lisbeth pulls the plug and deflates it, telling Suguha she doesn't need it when she already has two enormous balloons to keep her afloat (groping Suguha as she says this), then asking what Suguha ate to make her boobs grow so big. Silica watches on from a distance clearly jealous at the lack of her own bust. Asuna then shows up and pulls Lisbeth away by the ear to get her to stop sexually harassing Suguha.
  • The tail end of Extra Edition is Kirito and Asuna inviting the gang to a quest in Sylph territory so Yui can see whales, which provides three hilarious gags from Klein.
    • Kirito and Klein chat about how nice it is that ALO time doesn't correspond to IRL: it's night in the real world, but ALO is still nice and sunny. Just as Klein goes to turn his attention to the girls, Agil drops down in his swim trunks and has no idea why Klein is so upset.
    • When Klein calls the ladies back from the beach's edge so they can get started, we're shown a slow-mo scene of the swimsuit-clad girls approaching, including a short close-up of Leafa's bust... as she opens her menu and reequips her armour, followed by Asuna, Silica, and Lisbeth doing the same. They're going to be doing a quest, after all; of course they're going to go in fully equipped.
    • The quest starts at an underwater temple. When the group first notices an indeterminate figure at the entrance, and Kirito determines that's the quest-giving NPC, Klein insists that the only person who would need help underwater are mermaids, and quickly swims ahead to kneel before the NPC and offer his services to the young lad-
      Nerakk: Oh, fairies from the surface world?
      Klein: (Jaw Drop)
      Yui: That's not a young lady, that's an old man.

     Season 2 
  • Season 2, Episode 1, When Kazuto gets to the restaurant he's meeting Kikuoka at, Kikuoka calls out to him in an excited manner that's a bit inappropriate for where they are, after sitting down Kazuto tells Kikuoka not to call him 'Kirito' in public.
    • There's also the way Kazuto looks so seriously at the menu when told he can order anything he wants and Kikuoka will pay for it, then he seems to have a bit of trouble pronouncing the names of the sweets he orders. The prices of the sweets weren't helping either (going up to 1800 Yen (Approx: $18 USD), for a slice of cake!).
      • It's also quite funny in the light novel, when Shino, a student who has trouble making ends meet in real life, is shocked that a cake would cost 2200 yen (approx: $22 USD).
    • There's also a darkly humorous line, where Kazuto starts figuring out what Kikuoka has really invited him to talk, and is asking him to do, Deadpan Snarking that Kikuoka should come out and say it, that he wants Kazuto/Kirito to let himself be shot by Death Gun in game to get clues on the case. Kikuoka actually contemplates this as a legitimate idea for a moment.
    • Which in turns pisses Kazuto off, declare that there is no way death's in game are the direct cause of causing the death of GGO players in real life. Kikuoka is forced to get on his knees, and clings to Kazuto's pants, and you can hear Kazuto is trying to walk away, with a funny, annoyed look on his face.
    • Kikuoka casually talking about video game-based murders, the condition the bodies were in when they were found and exotic foods like kiviak, Squicking out the rest of the patrons within earshot and causing them to make their displeasure known.
  • Episode 2, Silica getting caught by a plant monster's tentacle again. Some things never change.
    • What makes this especially funny is that in order to keep the gag going in ALO, Silica tries to fly, but the monster sprouts wings itself. It's the equivalent of a Dalek spouting wings to get up a flight of stairs.
  • Episode 3, The entire scene with Kirito and Aki the nurse, she touches his butt the second he enters the room, causing him to freak out, she plays it as feeling how he's recovered, then she gives him a note from Kikuoka about debriefing details, which included
    P.S. just because you're alone with a pretty nurse, you're still on the clock, try to keep your hormones under control.
    • Causing Kirito to angrily crumble the note into his pocket, followed by Aki then telling him to strip, as he freaks out she explains it's for the electrodes to monitor him, then "Oh don't worry, I've seen all your goodies already" which makes him put his hands over his crotch. They settle on him just taking off his shirt, which the nurse seems disappointing at, finally, she tells him not to worry while he dives because she's keeping an eye on his body, which doesn't reassure him at all.
  • Episode 4, Season 2: The scene where Kirito tries to get help from Sinon are cranked further in the anime where he intentionally acts girly. For extra points, much of his deliberately-feminine act is peppered with gestures and body language cues he's copied from Asuna.
    • Seeing everyone mistake Kirito for a girl is hilarious, especially with the whistling.
    • The scene were he beats the seemingly-unwinnable gun shooter course, winning 300k credits in the process. We know Kirito's reflexes are top notch, but no one else did. Even the robot cowboy got in on it.
      • The Gratuitous English lines the robot cowboy was spouting out were funny as well. "I'll kill you!" "You loser!" "Die!" "Go to hell!" To be fair, it's completely valid English, and they get an actual American to voice him.
      • And the cowboy has an incredibly exaggerated "NOOOOO!" when Kirito pats him on the chest.
      • When Sinon asks Kirito just how he managed to dodge the cowboy's final laser attack from point-blank range, Kirito claims he just predicted where the cowboy would aim: "Predicting the predictions", in his own words. Even the robot cowboy is incredulous!
  • Episode 5, Season 2: Sinon, still thinking Kirito is a girl, has no problem with being only in her underwear. When confused by Kirito freaking out, he then reveals his true gender, much to her shock ("Male!? You're a guy? With that avatar!?")... then the inevitable situation slowly dawns on her. Kirito gets slapped for his troubles, leaving a hand print on his face that looks awfully familiar.
    • Again, the handprint looks like HP damage. Isn't the BoB waiting room a safe zone?
    • After this, Kirito follows Sinon around, and she acts like he's stalking her.
    • Later, while Kirito starts being annoying while Spiegel is around, he uses his "girly" voice, making the scene even funnier.
  • Episode 7, Season 2:
    • The opening has Suguha and Kazuto at dinner where Sugu shows Kirito a forum listing the "Bullet of Bullet" contestants and points out Kirito's name. Kazuto's attempts to explain this away are pretty pathetic, at first saying it's a similar name before claiming the Kirito in GGO is someone else who coincidentally had an abbreviated name with the same alias with their real name being "Kirigamine Tougorou". Turns out Suguha already knew he had converted to GGO so he was kicking a dead horse.
    • Shino is taking out her frustrations about Kirito by kicking a pole with a clock affixed to the top. If you pause when it's focused on the clock, you'll notice the clock hands have fallen off and dropped to the bottom of the frame, implying Shino knocked them loose.
  • Episode 8, Season 2:
    • While completing sign up for the Bullet of Bullets finals, Kirito tries getting Sinon's attention, but when she keeps ignoring him he starts using Japanese Honorifics including "Sinon-neesan", which would mean Kirito is addressing Sinon as "big sister". This is made funny by the fact that Kirito is actually older than Sinon.
    • Most of the other players still think Kirito is a girl, so Kirito pulls off a deliberately "cutesy pose" and asks them all to cheer for him.
      • If you look very carefully and cross reference with shots from Season One, you'll notice Kirito draws his reference of "Girlish Behavior" from that of his wife Asuna, including cutely tilting his head and pointing at his face with curled up eyebrows when he is "confused."
  • Episode 9, Season 2: The Dyne vs. Pale Rider vs. Death Gun fight from the end of the last episode gets MST'd by the gang watching in ALO.
    Lisbeth: [Pale Rider] must be one of the front-runners.
    (Pale Rider is sniped by Death Gun)
    Klein: Hey, turns out he sucks!
  • Episode 11, Season 2: Chrystheight (Kikuoka) logs into ALO and meets up with Kirito's friends. He refuses to give any details on Kirito's mission, so Yui explains the situation herself. Chrystheight promptly offers Yui a job working for the government, earning a mean look from Asuna. It becomes even more hilarious when you realize he just tried to recruit a little girl!... and an A.I. to boot... and a Navigation-Pixie - which, unlike the above, he cannot possibly NOT know!
  • Episode 13, Season 2: Shino/Sinon decides to make both her and Kirito using a grenade and hugging him. Cut to a shot from behind of Klein, Leafa, Silica and Lisbeth looking at the screen in surprise without speaking, as though to 'WTF did we just see'.
    • Don't forget that Asuna also saw the scene, as Yui streamed the gameplay to a TV screen at the hospital. Uh-oh.
    • Even more hilarious is Kirito's reaction. He has no idea what Sinon's plan is, while she places the grenade in his palm. It's not until she pushes the activation button and it starts beeping that realizes what Sinon meant by a "souvenir grenade". He flat out panics and starts juggling it not sure what to do. Sinon suddenly glomping him with a happy smile on her face while he has a nervous and ridiculous grin and laugh, as he's realized This Is Gonna Suck, and is probably deciding what's worse, that he's about to be blown up by the grenade, or knowing that everyone watching the tournament live can see this happening.
    • The fact Kirito is going to have some explaining to do to his friends, not to mention his wife and daughter, back in ALO, just sends the scene over the top in hilarity.
    • Even better, just before the grenade goes off, the closeups on Sinon and Kirito have a "fade to wavering black-on-white" that is a perfect match to that of Kirito and Asuna in Season 1 when SAO ended.
  • Episode 14, Season 2: Shino's interaction with Kirito outside her school. How did Kirito do it? Wait at the front gate, with a motorcyle. And her classmates first impression was that Kirito is her boyfriend.
  • How bad of a Butt-Monkey is Klein? In the credits for the Calibur arc, set to [No More Time Machine], he's the only one who doesn't get a solo shot. Kinda mean, but also kinda funny.
  • Episode 15, Season 2: Calibur's tail grab scene. What's added is Silica looking at her own tail...
    • Klein, upon encountering Tonky the jelly-phant:
      Klein: My grandpa's dying words were, "Don't ride in foreign cars or on flying Cthulhu elephants!"
    • Also in that episode: if Klein and Sinon are going to help Kirito find a legendary weapon, then he's going to have to help them find their own.
      Kirito: But that dungeon [where the legendary katana is being held] is freakin' hot!
      Klein: Yeah, and this Jotunheim we're heading for today is freakin' cold!
      Kirito: (to Sinon) It's only been two weeks since you created your avatar, and you're already thirsting for a legendary weapon?
    • Also also in that episode: the SAO survivors ponder falling in Jotunheim.
      Liz: I wonder what would happen if we fell from up here?
      Asuna: I'm sure the one right here - the one who once plummeted from a pillar outside Aincrad trying to climb up to the next level - I'm sure he'll experiment with that one day!
      Kirito: Speaking of falling from great heights... wouldn't that be right up a cat's alley?
      (Sinon and Silica shake their heads)
    • When Tonky goes into an abrupt nosedive, we get a sequence of two-at-a-time shots of everyone holding on for dear life - except Leafa, who just cheers like she's having the time of her life.
  • Episode 16, Season 2, after the party encounters Freyja.
    Kirito: It's a trap.
    Liz: It's a trap.
    Sinon: It's totally a trap.
    Yui: She has an HP gauge.
    Asuna: It's a trap.
    Silica: Yes, it's a trap.
    Leafa: I'd say it was a trap.
    (Pina cries out)
    • Made even funnier in the next episode when it's revealed that Freyja is TRULY another definition of trap.
  • All throughout the Calibur arc, Yui is giving the party game-engine pointers; identifying the giant floating lady as an NPC before they all draw their weapons, pointing out that Freyja is an NPC and has an HP bar, identifying the layout of the Thrymheim castle. Think about that for a moment. Their "Navi-Pixie" is an omniscient A.I. girl. Which means (A) Kirito and his friends are totally defying the system structure, or (B) Navi-Pixies will completely ruin your sense of immersion by pointing out NPCs. Either way, it's funny.
  • Episode 19, Season 2: The Unsettling Gender-Reveal scene where Asuna, envisioning the mysterious Zekken to be a knight in purple armor, is shown that Zekken is a girl. Cue her grabbing Liz and demanding an explanation on the matter since she didn't fully mention about this. Then she shifts to Kirito, thinking that he went easy on Zekken because she was a girl. The intense, vocalized Death Glare she gives her husband really sells this scene.
  • Around the start of the Mother's Rosario arc in Season 2, Asuna mentions that she took her Amusphere with her when she and her mother went out of the city, only to find that there was no internet connection. The anime's imagery of Asuna wandering around the room, holding up her Amusphere like she's trying to get a cellphone signal, is funny enough. But the fact that she found this out when the Amusphere failed to connect to ALO gives the wonderful mental image of an Asuna POV shot, the Amusphere whirring dramatically, "Link start!" ...and then a long and awkward quiet.
  • The opening to the last episode of Mother's Rosario (and, by extension, the last episode of SAO II) is equal parts Funny, Awesome, and Heartwarming.
    • It starts off with Asuna and Kirito hosting a party at their home on New Ainrad floor 22. As an estimate, it's them and their friends from SAO plus Leafa and Sinon, Furinkazan, the Sleeping Knights, the leaders of the Sylph, Cait Sith, and Salamander factions, and a few others. Out of nowhere, Jun suggests that, since the SK have their proof of existence from floor 27, why don't they just go take on the floor 28 boss together? Cut to them doing just that - and winning.
    • Cue an F/A/H montage with such moments as:
      • Kirito fine-tuning the camera that either Yuuki or Yui is using... mid-date, possibly meaning that one of the two was third wheeling.
      • During an ALO duel tournament on MMO Stream, Kirito vs. Yuuki has a note under each of their names. Yuuki appears to be noted as "Zekken"; Kirito is "Blacky". The ensuing duel has the time run out with Kirito's sword halfway to Yuuki's face.
      • The group goes on a trip with Yuuki's camera. A pause mid-meal seems to imply that Yuuki asked Asuna to share.
  • Yuuki telling the story about how the Sleeping Knights were once on an MMO known as "Insect Site," and Siune being horrified at recalling how she ended up as a caterpillar that shot string out of its mouth.

  • The part where Kirito was trying to tickle Eugeo, with the camera showing their butts? It's Not What It Looks Like if some people ask what you are watching!
  • The SAO gang have converted over to GGO to help Sinon, and Silica is riding on top of a humvee... using a giant mounted machine gun turret! Loli with machine gun indeed!
    • Just the simple fact that Kirito still has the girly avatar. Everyone else looks more-or-less the same as they do from SAO and ALO, but Kirito still has that M9000. His hair is longer than Asuna's!
    • When they get back, Klein just chugs a drink and laughs the salaryman he is, to the annoyance of everyone else.
  • Kirito is so exhausted from work that he falls asleep and collapses onto Lisbeth!
    • The scene where everyone else had left except the comatose Kirito and the awake Asuna and Sinon. After the two girls talked for a while, they just log out without even bother to wake him up! It took Kirito a few seconds to realise that everyone else ditched him.
  • When Tiese and Ronye arrive to report the completion of their tasks to their senpai, Eugeo is there but Kirito is absent. Eugeo starts talking about how Kirito is an irresponsible senpai and offers to let Ronye put in an application to change mentors, though Ronye declines followed by Kirito entering ''through the window'' of all things.
  • When Eugeo starts worrying that Kirito regaining his memories will lead to his friend leaving, Kirito playfully noogies "Eugeo-kun" and assures him he would stay with him until the end of the journey.
  • After Kirito cleaves Raios of both his filthy arms by sword, the stupid rapist literally leaps like a spastic-frog to his "friend" Humbert to beg for more life-force. Hop to, stumpy! Shake a leg! :)
    • Made even more delightfully-hilarious when Kirito rubs salt in the wounds and lends him a hand (hehehe) by tossing him a curtain-rope and quipping "Here, stop your bleeding with this." In spite of the fact the rapist lunatic-bastard no longer has any hands left to tie his stupid bleeding stumps with.
  • In episode 11, we saw a sombered Asuna almost collide with a robot but she thought it was a human and says excuse me like any humans would do. What is funnier is that when she noticed and gasped it was a robot, the said machine backtrack to where Asuna was and scares her. Then Higa arrived and explained its full name, which abbreviated to EMON and since it is the first unit, he named Ichiemon. Then he sais there was another unit called Niemon. What's funny is Asuna's expression when guessing it.
  • Kirito's confusion over Cardinal's request for a hug is pretty amusing. At first Cardinal tells him to approach but he isn't close enough. Then she asks Kirito to raise his arms, to which he puts them in a T-pose. Cardinal then tells him to put his arms around her, to which he makes a circular shape around Cardinal. Finally fed-up, Cardinal asks if she had to spell it out and promptly goes for the hug herself.
  • When Kirito sees Fizel and Linel approaching, he whispers to Eugeo that he's not good with kids and then ditches Eugeo, leaving the talking to him. He's being a lying troll again of course, as he's been shown to be wonderful with children such as Silica when she was younger, and of course his own daughter Yui.
  • In Episode 17:
    • When Alice and Kirito fight against the Dark Territory minions, Alice makes short work of them and finishes her two off with a single slash each. She then looks over to Kirito who still hasn't finished with his single minion, to which she asks if he requires get assistance only for Kirito to decline.
    • Shortly before this, Kirito used their chain holding the two of them together to throw Alice up to a nearby ledge. Alice responds by upheaving Kirito to safety - and straight into the wall behind them before getting an undignified landing on his face.
      • We even get to hear Kirito screaming for his dear life as well from this, something which happens before when Leafa forgot to teach him how to land.
    • The Running Gag of Alice reminding Kirito she would slay him as soon as their truce had expired reaches its peak, when Alice gives Kirito a handkerchief to wipe the minion blood off his face, before telling him to return it to her washed before she slayed him.
    • Right before the minions go aggressive, Kirito blasphemes and then calls them some real ugly statues. It almost makes it seem like they're attacking him because he called them ugly.
  • Episode 20:
  • Episode 22. You know how irritating Chudelkin was after his debut, especially his personality and the way he explain the horrible things that had happened to Alice and etc. When he said he was full of energy from Quinella promised to award him with herself, he uses his full strength to generate a fiery monster that is invincible. However, this leave Chuldelkin's real body vulnerable. With Eugeo and Alice distracting Quinella and the fiery monster respectively, Kirito blasted Chuldekin's body in one blow. Not so different and Not So Above It All now, huh? It's nice to see how he got what he deserved.
    • From the light novels, there's Kirito's snarky mental response to Chudelkin's flowery request to have sex with Quinella.
      Well, that's one way to make a bold request of the absolute ruler of all of humanity.
      • Adding more to that before this from the light novel, Alice easily annoys Chudelkin with blunt mockery of how he looks and his attitude, which is rather funny since she does it spontaneously .
  • Episode 24. While the whole episode was an ordeal in nature, there's a funny karma about how Quinella meets her end. She promised Chudelkin to be his woman and how 'love is conquering' ideal, ended up with herself being conquered by a burning Chudelkin during her escape.
    • Similarly, look at it from Chudelkin's point of view: the ugly bastard actually got lucky and died happy, getting what he wanted all along - the chance to finally touch Quinella, in spite of being left for dead and insulted by that same woman.

     War of the Underworld 
  • Episode 1. Barbossa demands Alice to cut a tree and she uses a sword. The other woodcutters laughed at her until their expressions transition to panic when the tree started falling onto them.
  • Episode 5. Alice meets Fanatio, and is surprised that the Vice Commander is showing her true face and is acting femininely. The Vice Commander wishes to meet Kirito to thank him for fighting and defeating her despite knowing her true gender, but Alice refuses for the time being. The two of them start arguing with Alice telling Fanatio she should have had Bercouli defeat her if she wanted a man to beat her so badly, while Fanatio retaliates that as the World's Strongest Man he would go easy on everyone, but Alice follows up that she always leaves Bercouli breathless from going all out. Bercouli promptly decides to retreat so that the girls wouldn't drag him into the argument and when they turn to him he's already gone.
  • Episode 9. It was not mentioned in the anime but in the light novel. When Bercoulli informed Alice about the Fist Fighters. He was trying to advise Alice that they do not need to wear armour when fighting them but when he asked if she was going to strip, it made Alice flustered and got the wrong idea.
  • Episode 10. After their rocky first meeting, both Alice and Asuna go into Clingy Jealous Girl mode over Kirito. Ronye and Tiese watch it and are left speechless. Then, Tiese tells Ronye they should go prepare the water before running off. Poor Ronye is left alone mumbling that Kirito was her senior/senpai.
    • Later, Asuna wakes up in the middle of the night to visit Kirito, and finds Alice waiting for her.
      Alice: Let's make a deal. I'll let you see Kirito and I'll tell you everything I know. In exchange, you have to tell me everything you know about him.
      Asuna: (smiling) Alright. But I'll need a lot of time. I don't know if one night will be enough.
    • What follows is a romantic counterpart of a Body-Count Competition. Asuna brags about how long she and Kirito were comrades-in-arms (2 years) and how long they've been properly dating (1.5 years) and even living together (2 weeks). Alice is momentarily taken-aback but then retaliates with how long she's been living with and taking care of Kirito (6 months).
    • To top it off, Ronye and Liena decide join them in the "information exchange" after overhearing them.
  • Episode 12. When Iskahn comes to Asuna offering to help the cause, Sheyta immediately vouches for him, and they have a couple of mildly flirty exchanges. This is baffling to Asuna, who missed their earlier encounter and just knows they're opposing generals. You can almost see her thinking "What the hell have I walked in on?"
  • Episode 13:
    • Leafa literally fell off from the sky and surprising the crap out of Lilipilin who was mourning for his deceased lover. A payback for not telling Kirito how to land perhaps? Especially funny since both Sinon and Asuna had epic god level Big Damn Heroes moments.
    • Earlier, Ronye mumbled in frustration that Kirito's friends were all female when Sinon introduced herself and the beauty sniper replied there are more.
    • A bit of unintentional comedy: in that same scene, the comatose Kirito looks especially glowery for some reason. Sinon is trying to explain her appearance to the Underworlders with a little joke about borrowing Solus's outfit, and Kirito, normally a joker himself, looks like he wants to say "Oh, you think you're funny, huh?"
  • In the final episode Kirito receives a mysterious package from Rath and when he opens it Alice is inside completely naked, then reaches her arm out and grabs Kirito, asking for help to be let out. That's right, she mailed herself naked to Kirito's house!
    • During the slide show depicting the aftermath of the war, we're treated to the aftermath of what was apparently a fist fight between Kirito and Iskahn. The two are begrudgingly shaking hands with an exasperated Asuna trying to play mediator.
    • Kirito's parents know about his exploits in Sword Art Online, which causes him no small amount of cringe when his father calls him the "Black Swordsman". And Alice's first words to his parents are to straight up call said dad "father", resulting in Leafa having a brief freak out moment.

The Movie

    Ordinal Scale 
  • When Kirito mentions the Augma's capability to learn stuff, Liz' Augma gives her a health warning about the dessert she gets from winning a game of Pac-Man 256 at Wagnaria. She sulks and leaves grumpily.
    • Her constant pace afterwards and Silica's begging her to slow down seems to imply that she is immediately trying to work off the extra calories.
  • Lisbeth, noting that Silica is a huge fan of Yuna, coerces the latter into singing in public. Silica resists at first, but eventually gives in and sings the chorus - with passion! It's a cool way to promote Ubiquitous Decibel.
  • The fact that Kirito's rank was way behind Asuna and her friends. His number is 100000+. Well, people might expect him to be in the top 1000 or 100 at least.
    • Kirito doesn't like AR battle. When the girls discussed having no transport to go to the rumoured location, he slowly turns around and tries to escape (Note:He has a motorcycle) but Klein's message to him delayed his flight and the girls give an eerie grin at him.
  • During the battle against Kagachi the Samurai Lord, Kirito trips and falls before the boss. Good thing he still has Super-Reflexes.
    • Kirito complaining that the lag in augmented reality is much worse than in VR. Apparently, Real Life is just too laggy for him to handle.
  • How does Yuna reward the MVP of the raid? A kiss on the cheek, regardless of gender. Asuna gets one in the Kagachi raid, and dodges the second one (via backing up fifteen feet in a half-second flat) when she also wins the Yoyogi park raid. The faces of the guys for that first one were priceless.
  • The girls needs a ride to the next boss raid. Klein offers to have Fuurinkazan give them a lift, but they shut him down by telling him riding with him would be more concerning.
  • The reaction of Fuurinkazan after learning that Asuna was taking a bath before the Yoyogi park raid.
  • While Asuna, Silica, and Liz talk about Yuna, to which Lisbeth indirectly makes fun of Silica's singing, Silica shoulder strikes Lisbeth in retaliation. The impacts cause distinct red HP damage marks accompanied with a med-pack symbol appearing above Lisbeth each time she gets struck.
  • When The Cavalry arrive from ALO and GGO to help Kirito and the SAO gang against An Incarnation of Radius, Yui bursts out of Leafa's cleavage, with the latter in shock.
  • Klein whines about how Kirito and Asuna are not present to celebrate him for getting discharged from the hospital.
  • Klein saying that games aren't about meeting girls. Agil isn't amused. In fact, he declares that he will charge only Klein, just to reimburse for the wasted ticket.

     Sword Art Offline - Ordinal Scale 
  • Every fact Yuna states about Kirito was totally off except that he uses dual wielding and was a solo player. When she doubts whether Asuna is "a very scary girl when she gets Angry", Kirito tactlessly confirmed that she's correct in front of Asuna, earning him several nasty slashes from his wife for his troubles. Oh, what a Call-Back and poor Kirito too. He had to get clobbered by his girlfriend in almost every offline episodes.
  • Yuna tries to kiss Asuna again and the latter freaks out as she hides behind Kirito.
  • The scene where Kazuto suddenly hugs Asuna and pushs her onto the bed, with his head on her chest. Both of them began to panic as the scene easily creates misunderstandings and ordered the footage to be shut off. Both of them started screaming like ballistic when Yui and Yuna started asking questions one at a time about the footage. It must be seen to be believed.
  • The fact that this time the client for the counselling corner was none other than Kirito because of the obvious naming (Yui and Yuna had no idea that client is Kirito, except Asuna herself). Even better that he got shot down by the real traits of himself by Yuna.

Video Games

    Video Games 
See this page for associated tropes


  • Kirito's reaction to people crowding over the duel between him and Heathcliff in the novel:
    "...Let's run away Asuna. We can go live in some small village on the 20th floor and plow fields."
    • Possibly more amusing than just funny, but it's great for Kirito that his title changed from "The Black Swordsman" to "The Dual Wielding Demon" shortly before he was forced to join Asuna's guild (because her guild leader thought he was stealing her from them and was against it) and has to don a white outfit.
  • In a side story "A Murder Case in the Area", Kirito and Asuna invite Heathcliff over for a meal to ask some question. Problem aside, the noodles they tasted are so bad that Heathcliff or rather, Akihiko Kayaba, THE CREATOR OF SAO OF ALL PEOPLE even wonder why the shop exist!
  • For fans who don't regard it as Squick, Chapter 16.5 (in which Kirito and Asuna have sex) is rather hilarious... for all the wrong reasons. It's very badly written in comparison to the rest of the story - Kirito's narration is consistently ridiculous (with phrases like "two years of semen" and "glopping sound" being thrown around) to the point that it seems like a SelfParody, Asuna climaxes an impossible number of times, female genitals apparently look extremely silly (like white foam) in the ''SAO'' world... You either pretend it didn't happen or accept that it did and laugh the whole way through.
    • Or you can imagine it as the sex scene from the first Scary Movie.
    • Two years of semen (assuming the system saves the data on it as specific units, unlike the inconsistent patterns of real humans) = roughly a gallon. Try that mental picture on for size and try not to fall out of your seat giggling like an idiot.
      • Several hentai anime already took care of producing that mental picture.
  • During the honeymoon, Kirito tries out fishing. He doesn't get as much as a nibble. He blames his lack of success on how he spent all his luck "snagging a lovely wife" instead. Then said wife teases him about said lack of success.
  • In the light novel version of the Mother's Rosary arc, the scene of Yuuki defeating Asuna in a duel and being impressed enough to recruit her to help the Sleeping Knights plays out like it does in the anime, until Yuuki brings Asuna back to the guild headquarters and realizes she forgot to ask for Asuna's name.
  • While the circumstances behind it are quite sad, it's somewhat funny to hear about Yuuki responding to her aunt, who's trying to manipulate Yuuki into willing the family home to her by saying that while she's in the Medicuboid, she can't hold a pen, leaving her aunt completely speechless.
  • Alicization Beginning
    • There are a couple jokes about Kazuto being a Henpecked Husband.
      • Shinon recruits Kazuto to her team for the fifth Bullet of Bullets because he can do crazy things like slice bullets out of the air. Then she says that she recruited another person as a "control system" for him. Cue Asuna walking in.
      • Because Kazuto hasn't explained yet, Shinon assumes that Asuna's heartbeat tracking app is an "anti-cheating system".
    • After waking up in Underworld, Kirito considers the possibility that he has been transported to a genuine alternate dimension. He dismisses it as ridiculous but nonetheless assigns it the "completely arbitrary" percentage of 0.03% chance of possibility. What really makes this funny is the line about Dramaturgy. "Within minutes, I should rescue a girl from monsters, fulfill the village elder's request, rise as a hero and eventually defeat the dreaded sorcerer lord". In other words, a Take That! against the genre and some of the previous Sword Art Online storylines.
      • What's even funnier is this actually applies more to Eugeo. He rescues Selka with help from Kirito, fulfills his calling as a wood-cutter, develops his skill and confronts evil nobles, defeats the Sword Golem that Quinella crafted and then assists Kirito as the Blue Rose Sword against Quinella herself.
  • Starting from Alicization Running, the back cover of the novels show Silica and Lisbeth holding up sign cards demanding more deban (more screen time).
    • Hilariously, the two eventually receive their own spin-off alongside Leafa.
  • Alicization Lasting has lots of these:
    • Project Alization's launch day has Alice (in a robot body that looks suspiciously similar to her UW avatar except she's weaning a school uniform) publicly confessing her feelings to Kirito in the middle of an interview with Rinko. If Asuna finds out about it, then Kirito is screwed.
    • Kikuoka interrupting Kazuto and Asuna's romantic moment in the hospital while bringing a lot of rare fish and cheese. Asuna gets annoyed for it, telling him to put them in a nearby fridge since the room isn't well ventilated and she doesn't like the smell of those foods.
    • After Kirito, Asuna, and Yui went into the World Tree for the ALO conference, where their friends and the Japanese players are gathering, Agil cracks a joke to Kirito about his overpowered account in UW and he might get killed off for it.
    • Remember the "super weird feeling" Silica mentioned after Kirito grabs Sinon's tail back in the Calibur arc? This time, When Kirito gives his thanks to Lisbeth and Silica for their involvement in the UW war, Silica takes this opportunity to hug Kirito, only for a jealous Lisbeth to grab her tail for it.
    • Kazuto, who is all alone in his home since his stepparents are at work and Suguha has kendo practice, got a call from Rinko about Alice running away from Rath. Then, just as Kazuto is about leave with his motorcycle, a postman appears, giving him a package box from Rath. What's inside the package box is Alice, freaking out Kazuto not once, but twice! And he would've freaked out the third time if it weren't for her telling him to stop messing around and get her out from it.
      • It even gets funnier when Alice explains to Kazuto about how she sneaked out from Rath: she deliberately let the cameras see her leaving Rath and then using the blind spots to pack herself in a box!
    • Alice addresses Minetaka (Kazuto's uncle/adoptive father) as "Father", which is, in Japanese culture, considered as a woman seeing herself as the man's wife, to Suguha's shock and disbelief.
      • She then outright tells Minetaka and Midori about his heroism in UW despite being an Ordinary High-School Student in the RW. Kazuto attempts to interrupt Alice by telling her that Minetaka and Midori have no idea about the whole UW stuff, only to find out that they already knew about him being "Black Swordsman Kirito" and his achievements from Aincrad to UW: someone else wrote a book about him and they read it. Kazuto keeps on denying those claims, saying that the book is full of "rubbish", because, in his part, he was credited with lots of things. Being the famed hero of SAO isn't easy, huh?
    • Kazuto gets caught in a Love Triangle between himself, Asuna, and Alice. How the hell did this happen? When Asuna saw Alice attempting to make advances on Kazuto by hugging him tightly while seating behind his motorcycle, both girls were exchanging Death Glares at each other.
      • For extra points, Asuna had a smug expression while glaring at Alice.
      • Made even funnier when Kazuto reminded Asuna and Alice about their agreement back in UW, only for them to respond by telling him that the said agreement was only a ceasefire.
      • Just as Asuna and Alice are going for another cat fight, Kazuto attempts to flee from the scene, only for them to chase him instead!

Progressive novels.

  • Volume 1:
    • After Kirito and Asuna meet for the first time, she borrows the bath in his rented room. Kirito's reaction to the idea of Asuna in the bath:
    "I didn't know averting my eyes from that door required such a high will saving throw."
    • When Argo knocks on his door, Kirito knows this is going to end badly. His first instinct is to flee.
    • The light novel doesn't state what happens. Kirito's narration says that "no memory remains of what happened next". This is because Asuna threatened to force feed him a barrel of sour milk if he ever mentioned it, ever.
  • After Kirito notes that the blacksmith Nezuo resembles a dwarf, his narration keeps referring to him as a dwarf.
  • In the second volume, Kirito wonders if Kizmel is really an NPC or whether she's an accomplice of Kayaba, but doesn't want to share this with her. Asuna notices that something's on Kirito's mind and insists that he speak up. Kirito then starts to say that both Asuna and Kizmel are strong warriors, and thus handy to have around... before adding that he was wondering which one he'd like to marry.

Progressive manga

Side stories/Other

  • There is But One Ultimate Way. Who wouldn't be shocked by that.
  • Sword Art ''Offline'', sanctioned by the author himself, is presented in a news-variety show format. Character traits subtly implied (ie. Asuna's clinginess and temper, Kirito's misfortune and love of teasing others, Klein's dirty mindedness, and Heathcliff's epic trolling) in the series are cranked up to eleven.
    • Winning moments of the DVD commentaries are the Playback Corner segments and Life Counseling (a la Oreimo) parts. To name a few examples:
      News Headline (Volume 1, Episode 1): The headline states that a lot of "girl players" revealed their true forms once Kayaba's revelation was unveiled. "This event only proves further," Asuna reports, "that there are no girls on the Internet." Kirito mentions that the trend of playing as the opposite gender is rather popular with players recently. Cue Asuna [[ImagineSpot imagining a genderbent princess Kirito needing rescue from a prince Asuna.]]
      ** Yui's Offline episode is especially amusing.
      • Asuna and Kirito are talking about whether the game has any mechanics to have children. Asuna asks Kirito that if there was one, how many children would he like to have. She then adds she would like to have enough children to fill up a party or raid-group, which shocks Kirito that she would want that many.
      • After playing the clip of Klein introducing himself to Asuna and getting punched in the gut by Kirito.
    Yui: Maybe he likes Mama?
    Kirito: I don't think he likes Mama "specifically", he doesn't care so long as you're a girl.
    Yui: Then he likes me too?
    Kirito: If he tries to get close to you... I'll kill him!
    Yui: I have a question: Mama says she wants to have lots of kids with Papa. Uncle Klein, how exactly are babies made?
    Continuing on the quote above, Klein has been accused multiple times by Asuna and Kirito of teaching Yui "improper things" and he has to answer honestly. He asks for Asuna's opinion.
    Asuna: W-W-Well Yui-chan, first you have to go down the menu and turn off the 'Ethics Code', and then—
    Kirito: S-S-Stop right there! We can't teach her that! Y-Yui, the truth is, when a couple gets married, a stork brings the baby!
    Yui: How did the stork get the baby?
    Kirito: The babies are born in cabbage fields. They are spawned from cabbages.
    Yui (tearfully): So, if I was born in a cabbage field, does that mean I'm the child of a cabbage?
    • From Episode 2 to Episode 5, Klein is the commentator of a Life Counselling segment, during which Kirito is assigned to sitting in a box where he gets an amusing label for his job like "Lovey-dovey deadweight".
    • In Leafa's first episode as anchor, the screen keeps switching to a close-up of Leafa's cleavage, which prompts Leafa to hit Kirito to keep him from watching every single time. He accumulates more and more bandages over the course of the episode.
    • Kirito being a Butt-Monkey in these shorts. Frequently ending up as a victim of Accidental Pervert situations which leads to him getting beaten up by Asuna and Leafa. The crowning moment had to be in Episode 9 where the screen blacks out for an extended duration where Kirito's cries of pain can be heard before returning he can be seen strewn over the desk bruised and bleeding.
    • In SAO II Offline, Episode 2 has Kirito being brought in as a guest with his GGO avatar. He proceeds to introduces himself as Kiriko and speaking in his girly voice. Asuna then asks what kind of boy he was interested in, to which he becomes frustrated and gives up on pretending to be a girl, while Asuna starts laughing at his expense.
    • SAO II Offline, Episode 8.
      • After Asuna is annoyed over her Berserk Healer title, Yuuki suggests she and Kirito come up with another title for her. However Kirito's titles are all very mean like "Genocider", "Killer Machine", and "Death Queen". Later on during Playback, there's footage of Kirito being called "Blackie-sensei" which Asuna points out is also a derogatory name so she too suggests coming up with another name for Kirito, leading Asuna to get her chance at revenge when she comes up with a bunch of names including "Real Solo Player", "Friendless", and "Absolute Isolator" all of which are to take a jab at Kirito having virtually no friends outside his party.
      • After watching the playback of Kirito slicing magic with his sword and how he had cut up the bullets of an antimaterial rifle, Kirito brags to Yuuki that's it's all really easy. Asuna warns him that Sinon would get mad at this, but Kirito is unphased, since Sinon isn't in the show right now and even if she was he could easily slice up her bullets if he wanted to. Cue Kirito getting sniped in the head, before Asuna gets an email from Sinon asking Kirito if slicing the bullet was easy. Sinon keeps shooting Kirito from afar who gets more and more bullets in him, accompanied by another email from Sinon telling Kirito to show how he slices the bullets as she wasn't going to stop firing.
      • Even more side splitting is Yuuki explaining Insect-site:
    Asuna: I definitely don't want to be an insect! That's gross!
    Yuuki: (putting on a cool "charming stud" persona") Well Asuna, you'd be a beautiful butterfly, My Dear.
    Asuna: Aww, I actually wouldn't mind being a butterfly.
    Kirito: Well, what about me?
    Yuuki: (Reverts to innocent tomboy) Well, Kirito would be... GASP!
    Kirito: Huh, what is it? Tell Me.
    Yuuki: Uh... you promise you won't get mad?
    Yuuki: Well.... you'd be.... A Cockroach I guess
    Kirito: (Thunderstruck) C-Cockroach?!
    Asuna: Teeheeehee!!
    Yuuki: Well, you see, Kirito is black and fast, It fits him perfectly!
    Asuna: Teehehehee!! "Black and fast...."
    Kirito: Will you cut it out with the "black and fast" punch-line! That's an insult to all the Yamikaze players out there! It's like saying every player who wears black and who's fast is a cockroach!
    Yuuki (Genuinely confused) Huh? What's a "Yamikaze"?
    Asuna: Teeheeheeheehee!!
    Kirito: (Annoyed aside to audience) And that was today's playback corner. (Grumble Grumble)
  • Yuuki wants to know about Kirito's party. He explains very well about Silica and Leafa. Afterwards, for Lisbeth, Agil and Klein.
    Kirito: Next is Lisbeth. She's a rip-off (swindler) blacksmith. That's it.
    Kirito: Next is Agil. He's a rip-off (swindler) merchant. That's it.
    Kirito: Next is Klein, huh? He's a katana user and a womanizer. That's it.
    (You can guess how "unhappy" those three might be if they are watching this, so Asuna hurriedly reminds Kirito to give more detailed summaries, which leads to:)
    Kirito: This is Sinon, a coldblooded sniper.....
    (A blood-red laser pointer from a 45mm Caliber Sniper Rifle dangerously hums onto Kirito's forehead.)
    Kirito: Uh... this lady is a beautiful Cat-Sith bow-user, called Miss Sinon. She originally plays as a sniper in the Virtual Multiplayer Online Gun-Focused Game GGO, whose accuracy with the bow is without equal! I'm indebted to her a lot! Please forgive me!!
    (Red Dot Disappears)
    Kirito: PHEW that was close! And that's all the members of our Adventuring Party.
    (Unfortunately, Mommy and Daddy seems to have forgotten a special important someone....)
    Asuna: So, how did you like today's segment, Yuuki?
    Yuuki: Wow! You guys have so many fun and interesting friends.... by the way... there seems to be one more person behind you.
    (Yui Stands Behind Kirito And Asuna, looking dejected)
    Kirito And Asuna: GASP!! / EEK!!
    Yui: (Sobbing) Daddy and Mommy... Both forgot about me... How could you!! (Runs off weeping)
    Kirito: Y-Yui! Wait Up! (Runs after Yui)
    Asuna: I'm sorry, Yui-chan! (Runs following suit)
    Yuuki: (Nervously chuckles) Ahahaha... And that was Today's "My Questions Corner!"
  • Klein's unfortunate tendency to teach Yui-chan knowledge inappropriate to little girls her-age comes back to haunt him in a big way in Sword Art Offline II Episode 9 during the Info Dump segment where Yui-chan commentates on selecting player-gender.
    Kirito: Just what the Hell has Klein been teaching Our Little Girl again.
    Asuna: Klein-san better be prepared for the beating of his life. (Mom and Dad both storm off to give Klein what's coming to him)
    Yui-chan: Oh My. Maybe I said something I shouldn't have. (Visible Sweat Drop) I think I better pray for Klein-san's safety. And that was today's Sword Art Offline II Trivia Segment.
  • Kirito's inability to keep his big fat mouth shut also comes back to haunt him in the finale Offline episode:
    Asuna: Today was the final episode of Sword Art Offline II; looking back, there are so much fun memories.
    Kirito: Ah, there sure were... (His nostalgic smile gradually turns into a nervous frown as the "imagination bubble" next to him shows a montage of him being shot, beaten and cut by Shinon and Asuna over the last season.)
    Yuuki: (Sees the montage) Kirito sure gets cut up and shot up a lot.
    Yuuki: Gasp! Could it be that I was meant to cut you up? I see... it seems to be a routine on this show everyone must follow. I'm sorry I never understood that over the last 3 episodes, Kirito!
    Yuuki: (Adorably giggles and glows purple) Hehehe! Okay, HERE I GO!
    (The Screen turns black as the 11 Hit Combo of Mothers Rosario slashes flashes across the screen, punctuated by Kirito's frightened screams that's capped off by a Real Life explosion)
    Kirito: Gyyyyyaaaaah! (Covered in cuts and contusions) And... I thought... this season... could at least end peacefully.
    Asuna: (Nervous sweatdrop) As promised, since Kirito-kun has now been cut up, we can finally end the last episode of Sword Art Offline II, Thank You For Watching All of Our Episodes!
    Asuna and Yuuki: (Cheerfully) BYE BYE!
    Kirito: (Feebly, and quivering weakly) Bye... Bye... croak.
  • The manga 4koma omakes. Most — if not all — of them. There's a lot of Notable mentions :
    • The many many back stories before Kirito met with his friends such as how Lisbeth gets her house and outfit in the first place and Leafa and Recon's first encounter.
    • "Aincrad Night of Kirito" which has Kirito being forced into a quest as a princess and gets visited by the many girls of Unwanted Harem and he has to resist getting into bed with each of them every night. There's an assortment of crazy stories compiled including (but not limited to): Kirito being a "lucky pervert", Agil and Klein dressing up as Asuna and Leafa as a dare punishment leading the system to mistake them for the real Asuna and Leafa, Asuna mistakenly believing Agil and Klein tried to sexually assault Kirito, and Yui trying to seduce her father in her own innocent way.
    • Anything with Asu-nyan. And no it is not Azusa from K-On!!
      • It turns out that Lisbeth want to dress her up to impress Asuna's boyfriend. Lisbeth suggest to try out her new look. Unfortunately, that first customer turns out to be Kirito. Cue to him saying he has gone to the wrong place making her embarrassed.
      • The next 4koma scene Kirito brought up the catgirl shopgirl when Asuna suggest to find a blacksmith. Cue to Asuna nearly stabbing him.
      • Ironically, one of the 4koma shows Asuna in a sexy succubus outfit. Lisbeth really loves to cosplay people.
    • Klein's encounter with a nekama (a guy pretending to be a girl on the internet) and cue to how the end results.
    • The main reason why Agil's shop never sell his stuffs well? He was making deals...when he's asleep.
    • In a rather ironic aversion of the anime commentary in Yui's episode, the manga omakes reveal that (in that continuity) Yui was observing Asuna and Kirito's behavior from the start. Everything. To quote:
      • It turns out that Kirito requested Asuna to do a Cat Girl cosplay of the outfit made by Lisbeth instead.

Alternative Title(s): Sword Art Online The Movie Ordinal Scale