Funny / Fast Times at Ridgemont High

• See Spicoli. See Spicoli think. See Spicoli get a pizza delivered to him in history class.
  • And then Spicoli tries to apply logic to having pizza in the classroom: "I've been thinking about this, Mr. Hand. If I'm here and you're here, doesn't that make it our time? Certainly, there's nothing wrong with a little feast on our time."
  • Mr. Hand can't fault the logic of that... and promptly takes the pizza and offers slices to the other students, since by Spicoli's logic it was their time as well. The glare on Spicoli's face could melt steel.
• Spicoli's dream getting interviewed for winning surfing titles.
  Stu Nahan: Let me ask you a question. What's next for Jeff Spicoli?
  Spicoli: Heading over to the Australian and Hawaiian internationals, and then me and Mick are going to wing on over to London and jam with the Stones!
• Spicoli accidentally wrecking the star football player's fancy car.
  Spicoli: My old man is a television repairman, he's got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it.
  • And he does by making it look like the car had been stolen and vandalized by the upcoming school opponents Lincoln High. Cut to one very angry Forrest Whitaker single-handedly massacring that team.
    • And as a Freeze-Frame Bonus, the Ridgemont crowd are wearing buttons declaring "Assassinate Lincoln"
• No shirts, no shoes, no dice.
• Damone telling Rat dating tips to score on a first date, ending up with the guaranteed "play side one of Led Zeppelin IV."
  • Rat ends up playing Physical Graffiti instead.
• Brad fantasizing about his crush Linda coming out of the swimming pool in her red bikini, taking off her top and kissing him. Then the real Linda accidentally walks in on Brad while he is masturbating. Followed by his complaint: "Doesn't anyone f**king knock anymore?"
  Linda (in Brad's fantasy) Hi, Brad. You know how cute I always thought you were.
• The Where Are They Now credits at the end:
  • Mr. Hand: convinced everyone is on dope (with the teacher in the background shaking his head in horror as he grades papers).
  • Mr. Vargas: switched back to coffee.
  • Jeff Spicoli: saved Brooke Shields from drowning, wastes reward money hiring Van Halen to play at his birthday party.
• Brad is covering for Arnold, and gets stuck with an indignant customer who lords over the restaurant's 100% guarantee over him. While he tries to give him forms to fill out, the man's impatience causes him to lash out.
  Customer: It says "100% Guaranteed", you moron!
  Brad: Mister, if you don't shut up, I'm gonna kick 100% of YOUR ASS!
• When Stacy and Damone have sex, "Somebody's Baby" starts to play. Then Damone quickly ejaculates and the song abruptly cuts off.