Cher's Completely Off-Topic Report on Haiti is actually the (rather crude and underdeveloped) foundations of a reasonable argument on the subject, for a high-school debate class at least. What Cher is essentially trying to do is make a comparison between her party and the wealth of resources available to the United States; while Cher was initially frustrated at the amount of attendees who didn't RSVP, she later discovered that she did in fact have enough to accommodate them and the party was made even more fun by their presence. Similarly, the United States might have to do some 'rearranging' to accommodate refugees from Haiti, but the country ultimately has more than enough resources to make available to them and their presence will ultimately have a beneficial effect on the country overall. It's an establishing of Cher's Hidden Depths: she's not unintelligent, she just doesn't apply herself.
The same basically goes for her "original oral": Cher had a good argument in the making, she was just too lazy to properly elaborate on it.
In short, Cher seems to be a peculiar case of Brilliant, but Lazy. Also true regarding her emotional intellect, BTW.
Why would two high school teachers invite half a dozen students to their small wedding? Because at some point, Ms. Geist and Mr. Hall realized Cher and Dionne set them up and thus decided to invite them and Tai (with plus-ones) as a thank-you for helping them become so happy.
