Survival Of The Fittest V 3101 To 150 / Characters

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Male Students

B52: Adonis Zorba

Designated Weapon: AK-47 (no ammunition)

Conclusion: His bark may be worse than his bite with the weapon he received. We've seen our share of martial artists, and it hasn't stopped them from dying.

B53: Luke Rowan

Designated Weapon: Chainsaw

Conclusion: To be honest, I'd normally peg someone like B53 to be an early out... however... the fact that he's scared of dying young, coupled with his inability to make friends and the fact that he rolled the chainsaw as a weapon... well, B53 might surprise us and wind up being quite the competitor. I truly hope so.

B54: Joey McHaimond

Designated Weapon: Tessen (Iron Fan)

Conclusion: A surfer dude, eh? This kid should, like, totally just go throw himself off a cliff or something, because he has no chance at all of winning the game.

B55: Bill Ritch

Designated Weapon: Utility Knife

Conclusion: Beam me up, Scotty! Yeah, B55'll be wishing Scotty would beam him up off the island when someone decides they wanna skewer a pig. But, on the bright side, maybe his time playing on the SOTF roleplaying forums will give him some creative ideas for things to do with that knife.

B56: Frank Bradley Armstrong

Designated Weapon: Resident Evil 4 Strategy Guide

Conclusion: An out of shape political activist who takes orders and ended up getting a Resident Evil 4 Strategy guide as a weapon? This kid's got about as much chance of surviving as any of them would if we were to put real life zombies on the island. Maybe if he'd gotten a decent weapon, we could have had another one of those kids who snaps, but...somehow, I doubt it very much.

B57: Jeffrey "Jeff" Marontate

B57: Jeffrey Marontate

Designated Weapon: Scramasax

Conclusion: So B57 thinks he's going to be a player, eh? Well, I truly do hope so. So far, this game has been quite lacking in the player department, and I think B27 could desperately use a hand in eliminating the competition. Let's hope B57 can provide.

B58: Johnathan "J.R" Rizzolo

B58: Johnathan Rizzolo

Designated Weapon: Tire Iron

Conclusions: I wonder if B58'll be able to shred with that tire iron as well as he can shred with an axe? Somehow, I doubt it. I don't know, I just don't have high hopes for this one. I think maybe some nerd'll off him for scoring higher than them on a game of Guitar Hero. Besides all that... doesn't he know? Rock Band is SO much cooler.

I Have No Son!: On the receiving end of this. His family disowns him when they see how far he goes to survive on the island.
Sole Survivor: Winner of Survival of the Fittest Version 3.

B59: Kode Hairesu

Designated Weapon: Bread Knife

Conclusion:The expression 'like a hot knife through butter' usually refers to things that go through others easily. Unfortunately for B59, the expression refers more to his weapon than his chances, B59 doesn't seem to have what it takes for Survival of the Fittest. On paper. perhaps, he might have the skills to make it far, but if he decides to go off and sob like a little baby, it'll be lights out, and quickly.

B60: Quincy Archer

Designated Weapon: Boxing Gloves

Conclusion: Well, 'ello chum! Y'want ta foight a round o' fisticuffs, there? Well, B60, I think that's all you're going to be able to do with those boxing gloves. It's truly a pity. I was hoping to get a show out of this one with his sadistic nature and appreciation for the dark arts, but it looks like that isn't going to happen... unless he can transform into the Hulk at will, he's probably going to get clobbered by the competition.

B61: Keiji Tanaka

Designated Weapon: Saber

Conclusion: One of those musclebound, couldn't-hurt-a-fly types, eh? That's too bad, it's so much wasted potential. B61's quite the physical specimen, but something tells me that like so many other dumb jocks, he'll wind up falling for the wrong little siren and she'll carve a permanent smile into his face... not that that's a bad thing.

B62: Jordan Redfield

Designated Weapon: Hunting Knife

Conclusion: B62 draws a great many parallels to a former SOTF contestant that many of us are quite familiar with. B77 was very similar prior to his experience here in SOTF, and if this boy is at all similar, his chances might be good. That also means that I'll probably despise him, and cross my fingers to see his name on every death list until the game's over. This one'll probably look for his friends, like they all do...

B63: Dante Cooper

Designated Weapon: Rondel

Conclusion: The MMA fighter hasn't been a type that we've dealt with before in SOTF. Hopefully B63 won't let us down and go all happy-go-lucky on us, and might actually be able to slice through the competition. A definite contender.

B64: Reginald "Reg" Robson

B64: Reginald Robson

Designated Weapon: Screwdriver

Conclusion: What's up with all these stupid hippy kids? Is that all they teach you people in California? It's all unicorns and rainbows and butterflies with you kids, isn't it? Well, since Mr. Robson might have a problem playing the game because of his beliefs, he should be quite satisfied with getting a screwdriver. If nothing else, it'll remind him of how utterly screwed he is. Get it? Screwed? Bahaha. I crack myself up!

B65: Dorian Ibanescu

Designated Weapon: Pepper Spray

Conclusion: What to say about B65? I don't think this one is cut out for the game, that's for sure. In fact, I'm willing to bet that one of those crazy ladies (or guys! Oh my!) that he turned down in the past will come after him with a score to settle, and I'm willing to bet that pepper spray won't be nearly enough protection for him to survive it.

B66: Mortimer Jones

Designated Weapon: Yari

Conclusion: I've gotta tell ya, these loner types are the reason I have faith in this game. It doesn't matter if all these silly little hippies out on the island try to band together and survive, I'm willing to bet our buddy B66 will mow 'em all down! He doesn't have any friends, what's to stop him from killing everybody else?

B67: Joeseph "Injun Joe" Gai

B67: Joeseph Gai

Designated Weapon: Whip

Conclusion: We should've gave good ole Injun Joe a tomhawk! Bahaha. He might have more success with that than the whip. I've got a bad feeling that B67 is gonna be just like the very large majority of his classmates out on the island and is simply going to sit around with a group of friends and wait for his impending demise. Doesn't he know that if he starts a boycott and people actually listen to him, it'll just mean the death of them all? Frankly, I don't care if you die by collar detonation or not, B67.

B68: Warren Pace

Designated Weapon: Colt Python

Conclusion: In terms of stamina and all that fun stuff, I'd say B68 has a fairly good chance of surviving in the SOTF ACT... unless, of course, he's one of those personifications of the "dumb jock" stereotype. I'd say B68's chances would be a lot greater if he didn't have a big, bright red target painted on his back from his past bullying of B60, among others. My guess? His former victims will bring him down.

B69: Eicca Hietala

Designated Weapon: Billyclub

Conclusion: Appearance-wise, B69 seems to be a very formidable opponent. Or at least, he would be, if, you know, he wasn't a total pansy. I mean, what's he gonna do? Play the competition a sad song and hope they leave him alone? Not gonna happen. In fact, I'd say B69 is going to wind up a prime example of the phrase "the bigger they are, the harder they fall".

B70: Liam Black

Designated Weapon: Garotting Wire

Conclusion: Nothing good will come of this boy's entry into our little competition, especially not for any of his little peers. I see this one as a contender, provided that he doesn't freeze up and let himself explode in a danger zone or something to that effect. Those English boys always were a tad crazy...*cackles*

B71: Danesforth "Dane" Zygmunt

B71: Danesforth Zygmunt

Designated Weapon: Smith & Wesson .357

Conclusion: Well, this B71 is rather... plain, isn't he? I mean... nothing really stands out about him. I'd say escape is all but impossible for our dear Mr. Zygmunt, seeing as he's on a tropical island in the middle of the ocean, so maybe he'll realize that and decide to play the game. Honestly? I see this one snapping, getting a kill or two, and being slaughtered by someone more ambitious.

B72: Dennis McDonald

Designated Weapon: Sawed-off Shotgun

Conclusion: Normally, I'd say that a nerd-o like B72 doesn't stand a chance in a game like SOTF, but hey, ya never know. With enough knowledge of those violent video games out there, he might get somewhere with that shotgun of his. But you know, it's a pity. B72's so into games, and soon enough, he'll be a playable character in our newest SOTF video game! It's a shame he probably won't live to see it.

B73: Jake Henkie

Designated Weapon: Manriki-Gusari

Conclusion: Every season of SOTF, we tend to have a different archetype of people. In v1, we had an abdundance of emokids and kids nobody would miss. In v2, we really ended up with a massive amount of gang-kids, and snotty high schoolers. This time, B73 really personifies exactly what we've got en masse - V3 is the invasion of the nerdalingers! Perhaps B73 should meet up with B55 and they can have a gaming party before they both die horrible deaths. Not a threat to win at all.

B74: Heath Trennoby

Designated Weapon: Fishing Rod

Conclusion: Seems to be the antisocial type, which may help him in a game where you have to kill your friends! Of course, I would have put far more money on him had he not had the luck of the draw to pull a fishing rod. B74 is going to have to quickly realize that his competition aren't fish if he wants to have any shot at staying alive!

B75: Joshua Novikov

Designated Weapon: Hockey Stick (composite)

Conclusion: It would've been far more apt had B75 been able to get his hands on, say, a chemistry set or something like that, because then the explosive potential would have been...explosive. Alas, unless somebody thinks he's a useful addition to their little group, I don't see B75 lasting that long at all...

B76: Evangelos "Evan" Gage

B76: Evangelos Gage

Designated Weapon: Portable DVD Player (with DVDs of Saving Private Ryan, Jarhead, Apocalypse Now, and both previous games)

Conclusion: B76? It's time to panic. This one, while having an advantage in having footage of our previous editions to study, doesn't have much in the way of a workable defense mechanism. Like most of the artsy types, though...I really don't expect much. Who's won so far? A coward who hid behind his friends as human shields. A foul-mouthed, sarcastic, naive hockey player. A bad-ass, dangerous-looking gang member. Last time I checked, none of them were ARTSY. Good luck, B76, you're going to need it.

Female Students

G51: Rebecca "Becky" Holt

Designated Weapon: Musket

Conclusion: This girl has seemingly gone through life protected by her boyfriend and her closely-knit family, not having to worry about hardship a day in her life. We'll see if any of that protective instinct has rubbed off on her. I'd assume that she'll probably whine and freak out about finding her boyfriend, so unless she does, it's probably yet another easy-out.

G52: Afra Jacinth

G52: Afra "Scarecrow" Jacinth

Designated Weapon: Maraviel Varella's decapitated head-in-a-cooler (partially decomposed)

Conclusion: I got so excited for this girl's potential, and then...she gets a twisted version of a jack-in-the-box, but featuring a particularily fierce competitor from our last game. It seems to be a game that draws upon the nostalgia factor, especially what with B77 in the running...but I digress. If G52 can get her hands on any kind of a decent weapon, I'd predict big things from the social outcast who's too arrogant to believe she can lose.

G53: Lyn Burbank

G53: Lyn "Laeil" Burbank

Designated Weapon: Gladius

Conclusion: This is G53's chance to get revenge on anyone who ever wronged her. She should use that Gladius to cut those who bullied her down to size, and she might actually have the intelligence to do it! Provided she doesn't decide to go all gooey and find some love interest or something...*yawn*...I hate those...though they make for good drama...

G54: Anna Kateridge

Designated Weapon: Camo Clothing

Conclusion: Hmm...this one's an interesting case. We rarely get people who literally don't care if they live or die, but this one doesn't look like the type to kill her peers either. That, coupled with the pathetically low pain tolerance, lack of physical ability, and the fact that I doubt she'll be willing to put in the effort to use her clothing to blend into the surrounding jungle, and I get the feeling she'll just lay down and die. Pity, too. These types always have potential.

G55: Shameeca Mitchell

G55: Shameeca Saphyre Mitchell

Designated Weapon: Double-sided Dildo

Conclusion: Ugh, so she's a reformed thug. Her story would be sad if I hadn't seen it a thousand times already. Only new thing on her file is the fact that she was involved with a girl 'gand'...whatever that is. Though I doubt she'll stand a chance against the bigger players, her toughness could get her far in the game. Too bad she got such a useless weapon, though. Of course, maybe she'll go the route Female Student No. 9 did recently and give the audience a show.

G56: Vera Lang

Designated Weapon: Bottle of Advil

Conclusion: So...she's a punk that isn't a punk, but a jock that just looks like a punk? Heh, maybe I should've kept that advil bottle for myself. Her athletic ability should come in handy, but until she can get a better weapon it's not going to do anything. She's not even pretty enough to pull what some of the other female students have tried, seducing the male competition. Season one's runner up was a baseball player, but she's nowhere near as smart as Male Student No. 80 was, and her poor eyesight is a death sentence in an environment like this one. I hope she sets off a land mine. If she can get a good weapon, though, I could see her getting pretty far. Doubt she'll win, though.

G57: Dacey Ashcroft

G57: Dacey "Dawson" Ashcroft

Designated Weapon: Butter Knife

Conclusion: Maybe we should've labelled this one B57 instead. She might have a cute face, but she definitely won't be drawing in the crowds if she keeps weraing those clothes. Unfortunately for G57, she doesn't have the ability to step up and fight like a man, and I think it's probably going to lead to an early demise for her.

Huge Schoolgirl: She is 6ft 1" at 17 years of age.
Sweet Polly Oliver: Dresses as a boy (and uses a male name) to get out of awkward interactions/being stared at for her size. Her writer has suggested that had Dacey been written more recently, she likely would have been written as genderfluid.

G58: Danielle Champney

Designated Weapon: Claymore (English Sword)

Conclusion: An internet whore, huh? I thought this chick looked familiar. Well, I don't think she'll make it very far, but at least she might provide our age 18-35 viewers with a bit of T&A while she's alive.

G59: Briana North

G59: Briana "Bree" North

Designated Weapon: Großes Messer

Conclusion: Another one of those girls, eh? The kind that hides behind their men until they get them killed? And then, they die shortly afterward, because there's no one to protect them. My guess? That's going to fit G59's stint in the game perfectly.

G60: Branca Braunstein

Designated Weapon: Kel-Tech SUB 2000

Conclusion: Well, G60, you know what they say. If you can't beat them, eat them! Bahaha. But seriously, even with a nice weapon, I don't see this one going too far. Stupid cow'll probably just wind up shooting herself or something.

G61: Anna Grout

G61: Anaesthesia "Anna" Grout

Designated Weapon: Jack O'Connor's polished and lacquered skull (Danya's personal paperweight)

Conclusion: So G61's a reformed wild child, eh? Seems like she still has a problem with authority though. Might make her prone to not play the game... then again, if she can't failure, she probably won't be looking to lose either. I could go either way on this girl, but for some reason, I'm thinking she might go far in this game.

G62: Andrea Vanlandingham

Designated Weapon: Macbook Pro with working battery, wireless internet connection and A/C adapter

Conclusion: I see trouble written all over this one's forehead. Then again, we've seen many like her in the past... including a certain number B77 who never ceases to tire me. These "natural leader" people... they always wind up forming a group and becoming a hollow shell of themselves when all the people they've surrounded themselves with die horrible deaths. Some of them go on to win, but most of them just die later on. G62? She'll be one of the latter. She doesn't have what it takes to go all the way.

G63: Hannah Rose

Designated Weapon: Rusty Spoon

Conclusion: *There is no conclusion for this biography, but instead, multiple stick figures drawn across the bottom of the page with their collars exploding and the words "Haha!" written above them.*

G64: Lucy O’Donnell

Designated Weapon: Xylophone Stick x2

Conclusion: The smart ones never seem to do all that well...maybe it's because they don't have any social skills to go along with all of those book smarts. If G64 had drawn a computer, MAYBE I'd think about being worried, but we didn't even give this one a xylophone to play around with. A waste of a brain, really.

G65: Kathleen Martin

Designated Weapon: Colouring Book & Crayons

Conclusion: Chaos theory? So she's like Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park? Maybe like the lawyer, she'll get eaten by a T-Rex! Or a crazy kid in a kilt. I don't know, these types never seem to impress me too much. You can only see so many eccentric kids before they become boring, you know...

G66: Kathy Holden

G66: Katherine "Kathy" Holden

Designated Weapon: Umbrella

Conclusion: Oooh, it's like the song! Umberella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella...*this continues for forty lines*

G67: Kimmy Redmond

G67: Kimberly "Kimmy" Redmond

Designated Weapon: Jolly Roger Flag

Conclusion: This conclusion seems to have been neglected.

G68: Lucy Arber

G68: Lucille "Lucy" Arber

Designated Weapon: Doloire

Conclusion: Danya seems to have gotten bored of writing conclusions. The section is blank.

G69: Petra Andrews

G69: Petra Elizabeth Andrews

Designated Weapon: Plastic Hammer

Conclusion: This section has been left blank.

G70: Amanda Redder

Designated Weapon: B&T GL-06

Conclusion: This section has been left blank.

G71: Lulu Altaire

G71: Louise "Lulu" Altaire

Designated Weapon: War Scythe

Conclusion: Danya appears to have drawn a bunny in the conclusion slot.

G72: Jessica Jones

G72: Jessica Lynn Anne Jones

Designated Weapon: Garden Spade

Conclusion: Miss Jessica won't be able to sing her way out of this situation now will she? Ha, I love watching the goody goody's break. She won't stand a chance on the island unless she uses her body to keep her alive.

G73: Dawn Beckworth

Designated Weapon: Taurus PT 111

Conclusion: A red headed deaf girl who loves nature huh? Let's hope not being able to hear doesn't affect her trigger finger, because I have a feeling this little hippy could turn into quite the amazon warrior....

G74: Rio Koizumi

Designated Weapon: Mercygiver

Conclusion: I like you, G74. Good luck.

G75: Lauren Howard

Designated Weapon: Sheriff Badge

Conclusion: Why do all our trained fighters always have to be pacifists? It's a shame, really, because G75 seems to have a leg up on most of the other female contestants. I can see her avoiding danger for a while, but when push comes to shove, she won't last.

Characters / Survival Of The Fittest V 3101 To 150

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