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Characters / Dumbing of Age

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This is the character sheet for Dumbing of Age, the "Ultimate Universe" extension of the Walkyverse. Shortpacked! has its own character sheet, with Roomies!, It's Walky!, Joyce and Walky! has one under construction. Please do not confuse the two, as there are serious Alternate Character Interpretations stemming from the difference in continuities.

Because of the large Ensemble Cast and Switching P.O.V., characters are listed in alphabetical order.


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Main Characters

Female Characters

    Amber O'Malley

"One second, killing spiders."

A geeky girl who enjoys playing video games, Amber hides a few...issues. Dina is her roommate.

  • Adaptational Badass: In Shortpacked, Amazi-Girl's ability was being "immune to criticism" and while she had her moments she was for the most part a fairly minor comedic bit. In DOA Amber is quite strong and durable and her fights have an element of danger to them largely absent in Shortpacked.
  • Ambiguous Disorder: Displays several symptoms of Dissociative Identity Disorder concerning her usage of Amazi-Girl, referring to herself and Amazi-Girl as separate entities, and needing to shift personas when near Sal due to experiencing traumatic flashbacks to the night of the robbery.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: She is a pretty nice girl, but she also acts as a vigilante, and a visit from her father revealed she has anger issues. It is also revealed that she had gotten involved in a robbery some years earlier (by none other than Sal, q.v., attempting to hold up a store) and found herself too frightened to defend Ethan (who was taken hostage). After the police arrested Sal some harsh and derisive words from her father led her to snap, grab a knife and stab Sal's hand before being restrained (sequence starts here). In the regular timeline, this memory comes up as she snaps again when her father holds Danny hostage, leading to her beating Daddy up very thoroughly.
  • Break the Cutie: The poor girl had her childhood spoiled by some very traumatic events, which she hasn't completely recovered from.
  • Broken Bird: With her issues with Ethan and her father, she is very broken. It's at the point where Amazi-Girl is her one coping mechanism and her favored persona.
  • Bruce Wayne Held Hostage: In "When It Crumbles", her father kidnaps several students, including her, to find Amazi-Girl.
  • Clark Kenting: Complete with Danny as Lois Lane - and she lives in the Clark wing. It helps that she's kind of a shut-in; the few who know about her and the campus vigilante can't picture Amber zip-lining off rooftops onto trucks.
  • Crazy-Prepared: As Amazi-Girl, she carries multiple tools and weapons on her costume at all times, including grappling hook and rope, tire-piercing spike balls... and even Amazi-Girl-themed condoms.
  • Dark and Troubled Past: Had a very unhappy childhood due to suffering physical and emotional abuse from her father.
  • Death Glare: Gives an epic one to Ethan upon finding him at Galasso's hooked up with Joyce.
  • Dramatic Unmask: After a heart-to-heart with Walky, she unmasks herself for him... only for him to not recognize her.
  • Enemy Mine: Once Ryan shows up again, Amazi-Girl and Sal reach an unspoken truce to hunt down the bigger fish.
  • Everyone Has Standards: Her hatred for Sal drives a lot of her, but even she is mortified when a conservative party rally cheers on her confrontation with Sal with incredibly racist rhetoric, to the point where she attempts to deescalate the conflict.
  • Evil Me Scares Me: After beating her father to a pulp and escaping, the event visibly disturbed her greatly, to the point she doesn't know anymore where lies the frontier between her Amazi-Girl persona and herself, and sending her once again in a Heroic BSoD. Worst part? The tags make it clear who's doing it.
  • Gamer Chick: A Bland-Name Product version of World of Warcraft, specifically. Also a Computer Science major. And has a Nintendo DS.
  • The Glasses Come Off: Deconstructed after Those Who Ground Me. She broke her glasses...but since she has astigmatism, this means she can't look at a computer without giving herself a headache. See above trope for why that sucks.
  • Gone Horribly Right: Amber decided to become Amazi-Girl to have a relatively harmless outlet for her anger issues. Then she started to have trouble figuring out which version of herself was the one with the rage.
  • Guttural Growler: Once she starts hanging out with Danny in both identities, she adds a raspy voice represented by blue speech bubbles to her disguise. She also claims to have always sounded like that.
    Danny: You mussed up your hair a whole bunch, too.
    Amazi-Girl: You are not good at remembering things!
  • Heroic BSoD: Suffers several: First when Ethan was taken hostage, she ended up paralyzed in fear. Years later, when she stands up to her father, she punches him in the face, but quickly realizes as she flees that she enjoyed it way too much. Finally, when Blaine took Danny hostage to lure her out of campus, it caused her to enter a vicious rage and led her to exert Extreme Mêlée Revenge. In the aftermath of the event, she completely shut down.
  • Hope Spot: Amber slowly begins making strides to get better, even trying to interact with Sal through Mario Kart, only to bear witness to Rachel tell Ruth that redemption doesn't exist and people don't change, then be "dumped" by Dorothy so Dorothy can catch up on her studies, and topped off by being confronted by Ryan. Naturally, this causes her to snap.
  • Hypocrite: Sal terrified Amber with a knife - Amber actually stabbed Sal in return, and after she'd already been arrested by the police. Yet Amber sees Sal as the dangerous one. She gets this thrown back in her face when she confronts Sal & crew in a parking lot.
  • I Am a Monster: Considers herself one after stabbing Ryan.
  • Incompatible Orientation: With Ethan.
  • Inspector Javert: Due to the PTSD she suffered from encountering Sal at the convenience store, she subconsciously demonizes her so that she can maintain a semblance of moral superiority. Upon seeing that the real Sal is nothing like the one of her nightmares, she has difficulty reconciling the two, blaming Sal for many of the misfortunes she began suffering after enrolling. She fortunately manages to try and bridge the gap by playing Mario Kart with her, and after the two manage to finally sit down and talk, they sort of become friends.
  • In the Blood: Amber's father Blaine is a violent jerkass who beat her mother repeatedly. When she finally stands up to him, she ends up punching him in the face. What could have been seen as a moment of awesome quickly devolved into a much more disturbing thing when Amber remembered her emotions at the time: when she punched her father, she was smiling. When she realized that she enjoyed hurting someone, even if the person she hurt really deserved it, she got a Heroic BSoD, because that would make her not so different from her father.
  • It's All About Me: Pre-Character Development, Amber was quite selfish, and some of her worst moments came from believing that other people have to do what she tells them to or else, such as flying into a fit of rage when Joyce refused to break up with Ethan, or dumping Danny for hanging out with Sal before trying to get Ethan to break off his own friendship with him.
  • Knight Templar: While normally Amazi-girl is The Cape, she devolves into this when dealing with Sal, claiming that stole her dignity, Amber's sanity, and now their Danny. It reached the point where she began stalking her in the hopes of catching her off-guard.
  • Large Ham: When Ethan and Mike (but mostly Mike) dragged her away from her laptop.
    Amber: NO! NOOO! YOU'RE NOT MY MOM! YOU'RE NOT MY MOM! It's not fair! There was time now! There was all the time I needed! It's not faaaaiiiirrr!
  • Last Het Romance: Was Ethan's, who figured out he was gay right when they were about to have sex for the first time.
  • Le Parkour: The action sequence starting here shows Amazi-Girl pulling off some impressive physical feats.
  • Loves My Alter Ego: She was in a Two-Person Love Triangle with Danny, though she did eventually have to come clean after Blaine kidnapped Danny.
  • Mistaken Identity: Danny immediately becomes attracted to Amber when he first meets her. However, Amazi-Girl is depicted in such a way that she could have a lot of hair, and her modus operandi is very similar to that of Batman. You know who else has a lot of hair and resembles Batman? Sal, who was Danny's First Love in Roomies!.
  • Pintsized Powerhouse: She's 5'5'' in her superhero boots.
  • Pre-Asskicking One-Liner: "Never again".
  • Rage Breaking Point:
    • After being unable to help your only friend, your father only further twists the knife by telling you how useless and cowardly you are (despite the fact that the robber was armed with a freakin' knife). This is the point where poor, broken Amber completely snaps, grabbing the knife from the police officer and stabbing the restrained Sal through the hand, leaving lasting damage and a scar.
    • Almost suffers another one after Danny kisses her in public. As it was widely known that he was dating Amazi-girl and not the "civilian" Amber, they previously agreed that he only treats her as a friend to protect her hero secret identity. This angers her so much that she swears at him, almost calls him some very nasty things and claims that while she needs him, she needs Amazi-Girl much more, ending their relationship on the spot.
  • Red Eyes, Take Warning: Her eyes take this color during her Rage Breaking Point.
  • The Reveal: When Amazi-Girl was introduced into the strip, she was largely treated as a mystery... despite Amber, her "civilian" identity in Shortpacked!, appearing not long after. Fortunately Willis still had cards up his sleeve, and Amber's motivation for donning her mask and cape are very different than they are in the mainline continuity.
    Danny: Oh my god. Are you... Amber under there?
    Amber: ...I don't know.
  • Roaring Rampage of Rescue: So, your father kidnaps your boyfriend in order to use it as leverage over you? Bad, bad, BAD idea, Blaine.
  • Sanity Slippage: After seeing Rachel give Ruth a scathing "The Reason You Suck" Speech about how people don't change and can't redeem themselves, then Dorothy having to separate herself from Amazi-Girl to focus on studies, topped off by Ryan attacking them with a knife, Amber finally snaps and fully succumbs to her darker side. Fortunately for her, it's aimed at Ryan.
  • Save the Villain: She keeps Ross from falling out of a moving car, even though he tried to kill her just seconds prior.
  • Secret Identity: She's Amazi-Girl.
  • Shrinking Violet: Was one during her childhood, but managed to grow out of it.
  • Slasher Smile: When she reaches her breaking point and embraces her father's genes, she tends to give these out. Two targets being Blaine himself, and a truly horrifying one to Ryan, right before she attacks him with his own knife.
  • Split Personality: The Tags consider Amber and Amazi-Girl two separate people. Amber herself originally thinks of Amazi-Girl as just a mask she puts on, but as time passes she starts acting as though both of them are personas. It's eventually exacerbated to the point where Amazi-Girl and Amber seem to now consider each other fully distinct.
    Amazi-Girl: First she took her sanity, then she took my dignity and now she's taken our Danny.
    • It's gotten so bad now that she no longer remembers what happens when she's Amazi-Girl. She even goes as far as to threaten to destroy her suit, only for her suit to say no.
    • In an Inverted Trope example, rather than see Amazi-Girl as the Evil Split Personality, Amber sees herself as the evil one, and Amazi-Girl as the good one. Case in point, Amazi-Girl was able to have an Enemy Mine Situation with Sal over Ryan, and is now less of an Inspector Javert towards Sal and capable of interacting with her. Amber on the other hand is still frightened to the point of paranoia over Sal, and can so far only interact with her via Mario Kart.
  • Stalker Without a Crush: As her Inspector Javert tendencies worsen, she begins flat-out stalking Sal.
  • Stealth Hi/Bye: Not even the Alt Text is sure how she did it while halfway between outfits.
  • Superheroes Wear Capes
    Dorothy: It never gets in your way?
    Amazi-Girl: It's very important psychologically. Adds ten bravery points. Any six-year-old knows that.
  • Superpowered Evil Side: Subverted. She originally became Amazi-Girl as an outlet for her anger issues, but as her Split Personality worsens, it's Amber's breakdowns that cause the most damage.
  • Third-Person Person: When masked as Amazi-Girl, she refers to Amber as a person outside herself. It's standard practice for this sort of thing - she averts ...But He Sounds Handsome, and has some trouble keeping her lies straight - but it may or may not also be a sign of her unraveling identity. After Danny is taken hostage, she begins to refer to both personas in the third person more often, regardless of which one she's currently supposed to be.
  • Trauma Button: Sal, originally. Amber can't even look at her without suffering traumatic flashbacks. (Amazi-girl can.)
  • Unstoppable Rage: Blaine kidnaps Danny. Amazi-Girl joins them and demands he release Danny. Blaine refuses. Serious ass kicking ensues. She suffers a Post-Victory Collapse afterwards, as it's not Amazi-Girl doing the ass kicking and this doesn't sit well with her.
  • What the Hell, Hero?: Gets this from Sal, of all people, who chews her out for escalating the situation with Becky's father and risking Becky's and her own safety. Sal even warns her that she needs to sort out her issues or else she'll come after her, completely unaware that she is one of Amber's issues.
  • Yaoi Fangirl: She might have spent an entire night reading Captain America / Iron Man Slash Fic.
  • Your Approval Fills Me with Shame:
    • Her reaction when a DeSanto rally eggs her on into attacking Sal by assuming that Sal was up to something and Amazi-Girl's actions were justified.
    • After attacking Ryan as Amber, she has a hallucination of Blaine congratulating her on what she did to him. She is not pleased.

    Becky MacIntyre

"Just don't let anyone change you, okay?"

Joyce's best friend from childhood. Attending Anderson University, a Christian college. She's pretty social for someone from Joyce's Christian group.

  • Anguished Declaration of Love: Seen in this strip.
  • Ascended Extra: Originally a secondary character, she joined the main cast after her Coming-Out Story.
  • Birds of a Feather: Becky and Walky get along really well within seconds of meeting each other, bonding over their shared love of eliciting humorous reactions from Joyce.
  • Did Not Think This Through: Tends to take actions on impulse, which means she can get others in major trouble.
  • Foreshadowing:
    • Joyce is seen in several strips trying to unsuccessfully get a hold of Becky, foreshadowing Becky's troubles at school.
    • For a short amount of time her character description mentioned that "she loves Joyce more than anything."
  • Have I Mentioned I Am Gay?: All the time, and to everybody, since her coming out.
  • Heterosexual Life-Partners: With Joyce, until Becky made her move and revealed that she had feelings for Joyce.
  • Important Haircut: First shown here. Said haircut didn't go unnoticed, as many characters comment on it, such as Hank who is initially a little shocked, but ultimately is fine with it (his congregation, also Becky's former one, is much less accepting).
  • Incompatible Orientation: Tearfully begs Joyce to feel the same for her that she feel for Joyce, but Joyce doesn't feel the same way.
  • Innocently Insensitive: Her other defining trait. She isn't a bad person, but is completely incapable of thinking things through, or realizing how her actions hurt people, which means she can do very bad things...and generally isn't called out.
  • Late-Arrival Spoiler: She had a whopping three appearances before a 2015 storyline in which she runs away from Anderson to come out to Joyce as a lesbian, at which point she began living in the area and her profile skyrocketed. The book in which this storyline is printed features her on the cover and is titled Hey, Guess What, I'm a Lssbian!.
  • Love Epiphany: After she kisses Joyce she tells her that she had always been in love with her but it wasn't until they went to separate colleges that she figured it out.
  • Missing Mom: According to Willis in this comment chain, she is currently worm food. A later strip implies that she committed suicide and Becky was the one who found her.
  • Nice Girl: Becky can be a bit crude at times, but she's overall a very nice person.
  • Odd Friendship: Considering her similarities to Walky (and how well they get along), her friendship with Joyce and their extreme fondness of each other is pretty out there.
  • Only Sane Man: To Joyce. To other characters, she's pretty loopy.
  • Relationship Upgrade: With Dina.
  • Sad Clown: Becky puts up a facade of cheerfulness but she's shown to still have it bad for Joyce, and she could be pulled out of Indiana University at a moment's notice. Understandably, she's pretty scared.
  • Stepford Smiler: To a disturbing degree. Becky is shown to be very affected by everything that happened in her life, but she keeps smiling nonetheless and try to move on or ignore things that pain her greatly.
  • The Fool: Is blessed by fate, which leaves her MOSTLY immune to the consequences of her actions, at least past her introduction.
  • Unknown Rival: She seems to think she and Dorothy are bitter rivals for the position of Joyce's BFF. Dorothy does not.
  • Unrequited Love: After a bit of angst, she tells Joyce she understands that she was rejected and goes back to her flippant nature, but there have been a few strips that show Becky isn't as okay with the rejection as she let on. Certainly not helped by not only living with Joyce but sharing a bed with her.
  • Wasn't That Fun?: Her immediate reaction to her dad's car overturning after a near-collision. "Again!!!"

    Carla Rutten
"The One Thing that angers you more than anything else in this world is that I exist."

A single-room sophomore and part of Sal's new "posse". Carla wants people to know she exists; wanting them to like her is another matter.

  • Actually Pretty Funny: Initially declares the activities of the Whiteboard Ding-Dong Bandit to be a hate crime, but once it's clear that it struck everyone and just not her, she thinks it's hilarious.
  • Adaptation Species Change: In Shortpacked!, Ultra Car was a sentient robot car with a male voice that created a human chassis in the form of a red haired Robot Girl. Here, Carla is a transgender female human that modeled herself after the Ultra Car character.
  • Asexuality: Ace homoromantic trans woman (as opposed to a trans-chassis Robot Girl).
  • Berserk Button:
    • Unsurprisingly, insulting Ultra Car. Walky stomps on it pretty hard.
    • Invoking the Armoured Closet Gay trope as an excuse for bigoted behavior is also a pretty good way to get her hackles up, as Billie and Ruth learn while speculating Mary has a crush on her.
  • Cannot Keep a Secret: Or rather, just doesn't want to, going for the quickest possible resolution when Ruth is suicidal, and blowing up Sal and Marcie's Operation: Jealousy for her own amusement.
  • Changed My Mind, Kid: Carla really hates her selfless side, but she always comes back if she's well and truly needed.
  • Decomposite Character: In a sense. Ultra Car is an in-universe cartoon character, who Carla has patterned herself on.
  • Everyone Has Standards: Despite being a bit of a Jerkass, she's deeply uncomfortable with the idea of ganging up on Amazi-Girl, and would rather "assert her dominance via sweet pranks."
  • Fingerless Gloves: She skates a lot, and the gloves stay on.
  • Flipping the Bird: She does this a lot.
  • Foil: To Jocelyne.
    • Carla is openly trans and generally in-your-face, while Jocelyne remains closeted because she's terrified of how her fundamentalist family might react - she remains "accepted" at the cost of constant secret-keeping.
    • Carla enjoys getting rises out of annoying people, while Jocelyne is more inclined to play peacemaker.
    • Carla's parents run a technology company and she knows her way around a welding torch, while Jocelyne is an English major and Starving Artist.
  • Good Parents: In stark contrast to the many, many bigoted parents in the comic, Carla's folks spent a lot of money on lawyers to keep anti-trans laws off the books in Indiana. They also built her custom toys when she was young after her favorite show got canned without ever producing merch.
  • Hidden Depths:
  • Hidden Heart of Gold: Carla does what she likes when she likes it... but when she's the only one on-site to make sure the right thing happens, she'll do it.
  • It's All About Me: Carla's got a very self-focused world view, for example she automatically assumes that some cookies of Billie's are automatically hers.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Carla can be loud and obnoxious, but the point of her arc with Mary is that there is no minimum standard of behavior she needs to reach to "deserve" her gender being acknowledged. While it's buried very deep, Carla does show a kinder side with a dose of Tsundere, like helping Joyce build her shower shoes.
  • The Lad-ette: She has a fondness for roller blading and engineering, favors athletic wear, and always has to be the most obnoxious person in the room.
  • Not What I Signed on For: She agrees to be a go-between for Billie and Ruth, unaware of how badly depressed Ruth is. Then she realizes she's basically being used as a suicide watch.
  • O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Carla's default state is loud, in-your-face and unapologetic. All of this goes out the window when Mary calls her a boy. All the energy goes out of her on the spot.
  • Roaring Rampage of Revenge: Mary, you pressed the misgender button. Ya shouldna done that.
  • Romantic Asexual: She is an asexual, yet homoromantic.
  • Significant Anagram: Ultra Car...ten? Net?
  • Suspiciously Specific Denial: She didn't fix Joyce's jug shoes, aka a random stranger, to be nice, she did it to prove her superiority.
  • Transgender: Carla is a trans woman, first confirmed by Word of God and then alluded to in the comic itself. It was only explicitly stated in-strip after Mary verbally assaulted her by stating that she didn't belong in the girls' wing of her dorm.invoked

    Dina Saruyama
"Do others see me as... strange?"

Amber's roommate, Dina is an expert on all things dinosaurs. Her knowledge about human behavior, on the other hand...

  • A Day in the Limelight: Is the star of the Walking with Dina storyline.
  • Adorkable: All the time. But some times more than others.
  • Ambiguously Bi: Or Pan. She kisses Becky at the party after getting fed up with the others acting like she's a child. She later states that she is unconcerned about her sexuality. Later she enters into a relationship with Becky.
  • Ambiguous Disorder: Many fans have speculated that Dina could be on the Autism spectrum. Willis shrugged this off for a long time before admitting Dina was based on his own undiagnosed social deficiencies, and therefore probably has Asperger's Syndrome.
  • Antiquated Linguistics: As pointed out by Sarah, Dina normally does not use contractions.
  • Ascended Extra: She's seen in the background of a number of panels before she's formally introduced. Readers of It's Walky picked her out immediately, of course, but to newcomers she would seem to have evolved out of the woodwork.
  • Asian and Nerdy: Her knowledge of dinosaurs and evolution makes her this.
  • Beneath Notice:
    • Often finds herself trapped between the door and the wall of the room she shares with Amber.
    • She uses her lack of presence to her advantage when spying on Jacob and Raidah on Sarah's behalf. Note that when she was doing this, she was wearing her bright green triceratops hoodie.
    • She is in fact generally aware that this trope is in play for her, and is not only fine with it but frequently exploits it to get into places she shouldn't be or listen in on conversations.
  • Berserk Button:
    • For as angry as she can get, anyway. Just don't question the existence or nature of dinosaurs around her. And deny the Theory of Evolution.
    • Also, don't treat her like a child.
  • Crazy-Prepared: She carries a rubber ring in her backpack.
  • Everything's Better with Dinosaurs: She is incredibly fonds of dinosaurs, up to the point of wearing a dinosaur hat, and is very knowledgeable about them. Also, RAWR.
  • Geeky Turn-On: She needs some alone-time, being unused to prolonged social interaction, but finding out that Becky had spent all night studying dinosaurs...
    Dina: Power levels at 100%.
  • Iconic Item: Her Nice Hat. Defictionalized.
  • Meaningful Name: Dina Saruyama. Given that she's Japanese, it's pronounced "DEE-na" instead of "DYE-nuh"
  • Never Bareheaded:
    • Never seen without some dinosaur-themed headgear. A bonus strip shows that she puts a showercap on over her dinosaur hat.
      Rachel: That hat's going to come off someday, and I'm gonna see it.
    • Becky develops something of a fetish for seeing the top of Dina's head, and embarks on a determined quest to finally get her to take the hat off. This is a result of her religious upbringing drilling it into her head that all sexy parts must always be covered up, which has tricked her brain into thinking any part of the body that's always covered up must automatically be sexy.
      Becky: Joyce, I'm crackin' up. I've been havin' sexy dreams 'bout scalps, man. It ain't right. It ain't right.
    • She does take off her hat for two strips to satisfy Becky's curiosity.
  • No Social Skills: As she puts it below:
    Dina: I've never been able to understand people. But dinosaurs are extinct. They're fixed in time, letting me learn about them without them changing constantly before my eyes.
  • Older Than They Look: Dina is small, and generally regarded as childlike, which means much of the cast is stunned to find she's turning 19 before any of them. Lampshaded when Raidah and her friends think she's a child, and later after she makes friends with Riley.
    Amber: Dina, I think she's like twelve.
    Dina: I have been deceived!
    Riley: Wait, you're not twelve?
    Dina: I see no answer to that which would not tarnish my dignity.
  • The Quiet One: Unless you get her talking about dinosaurs. Her parents are also laconic.
    Sarah: If your Thanksgivings are this quiet, I'm available for adoption.
  • Relationship Upgrade: With Becky.
  • Secret Secret-Keeper: Knew Amber was Amazi-Girl, somehow.
  • Shrinking Violet: She's cripplingly shy. But because this is due to her Ambiguous Disorder-fueled lack of social skills, she opens up a bit once she actually starts interacting.
  • Socially Awkward Hero: Has difficulty navigating social mores.
  • Stealth Hi/Bye: From the perspective of the other characters, anyway. "Blink your eyes and she'll be there."
  • Tagalong Kid: Takes this role in a lot of social groups. By which we mean that the social groups accidentally pick her up and carry her along.
  • Taught by Experience: When Amber's Archnemesis Dad appears, Dina makes the mistake of helping him locate her. When Becky's Archnemesis Dad appears, she has learned from her error and sends him on a wild goose chase.
  • Trademark Favorite Food: Cereal.
  • Unfazed Everyman: Dina has no frame of reference for "normal" behavior, and thus often underreacts to other characters' strangeness. When she does notice something's off, she tends to assume others are deliberately acting strange to make her feel comfortable.
  • Weirdness Magnet: Tends to get dragged along (sometimes literally) by the other characters' plans.
  • When She Smiles: Due to her stoic and reserved behaviour, Dina very rarely smiles. But when she does, it's adorable.

    Dorothy Keener
"Incorporating a regulated amount of fun is an important component of mental health!"

Dorothy is a career woman aiming towards Yale and then politics. Too bad real life keeps getting in the way. She rooms with Sierra.

  • Ambition Is Evil: Subverted. Dorothy plans to be President of the United States, and neither the other characters nor the comic itself judge her for that. (Beyond, y'know, throwing Walky her way to slow her down...)
  • Do Wrong, Right: She warns Walky not to kick his shoe down the corridor, only to be so unimpressed with his attempt she shows him how it's done herself.
  • Hollywood Atheist: Subverted. She was raised a-religious, and eventually decided that she didn't see a need to believe in a higher power.
  • Intrepid Reporter: Works for the college newspaper. Covers the Amazi-Girl beat.
  • I Just Want to Have Friends: To a much lesser extent than some of the other characters here, but she keeps finding herself distracted from her pre-law studies by, well, having a social life.
  • Meaningful Name: She takes her studies seriously; i.e. she's a keener. Word of God says that this was a total accident.
  • Not So Above It All: She gets along surprisingly well with the screwballs that comprise the main cast.
  • Only Sane Man: Dorothy is easily the best adjusted of the main cast, if a little uptight about it. Consequently, she's a foil and friend to Joyce.
  • Serious Business: Thank you notes, as Walky learns.
  • The Southpaw: Dorothy is left-handed (the similarity to several Presidents is a coincidence).
  • Uptight Loves Wild: Her romance with Walky is a subdued version.
  • Weakness Turns Her On: Despite at times being embarrassed by him, Dorothy definitely enjoys Walky's juvenile and submissive personality. The feeling goes both ways...
  • What the Hell, Hero?: She's rather dismayed when she realizes Joyce is trying to break up Jacob and Raidah.
  • Workaholic: Part of Dorothy is convinced she can handle anything if she just schedules it properly and works hard. She ends up taking on far too many responsibilities and starts skipping meals before realizing she needs to slow down.
  • Wrong Genre Savvy: Dorothy wants to be President some day but is not enough of a people person to be any good at politics, as she quickly learns when she goes up against the extroverted Roz in her campaign to become the next RA.

    Jennifer Yunru "Billie" Billingsworth
"I'm starting to think I've been oversold on college."

The top girl at her high school, she came to college expecting more of the same. She knew Walky and Sal from childhood, and shares a room with the latter.

  • The Alcoholic
    Billie: Sal. Yeah, it's one in the afternoon and I'm drinking. Fuckin' surprise.
    Sal: It's not a surprise. Alcoholism is yer definin' characteristic.
  • Alpha Bitch: Her position in High School, given by name here.
  • Always Someone Better: An ongoing theme of her adventures.
  • Be Careful What You Wish For: Billie is eventually moved to a new dorm wing full of girls who quickly begin looking up to her. However, Billie soon realizes that while the rest of the cast have adjusted to adult life decently well, these girls never grew out of their high-school mentalities, and that keeping up appearances with them will only stunt her own development. After this, Billie finally owes up to her toxic behavior and begins to clean herself up.
  • Big Beautiful Woman: Despite putting on pounds since high school, Billie is still considered attractive.
  • Bratty Teenage Daughter: Claims her dad showers her with money because he doesn't know how to show affection.
  • The Cheerleader: In high school. A month or so of college has convinced her that those days have passed; before that, she was so caught up in her former identity that she had trouble letting it go.
  • Closet Geek:
  • Closet Key: Billie had at least one pre-college fling with another woman, but Ruth apparently "found out she was into girls" through her.
  • Establishing Character Moment: Being pegged by the staff of Indiana University as an alcoholic.
  • Even the Girls Want Her: Seemingly more so than the guys.
    Billie: You're still staring at them.
    Joyce: (small voice) i could crawl up into them and be safe and warm forever
  • Fallen Princess: Was very popular in high school, but in college finds herself at the bottom of the food chain. It's taken her a while to realize it's happening.
  • Hope Spot: After moving to Forest Quad, she discovers to her pleasant surprise that everyone living there has the same high-school mindset as her, and practically worships her for being a cheerleader just like she wants. She is once again the Alpha Bitch and loving every minute of it. However, Joyce had to show up and obliviously ruin everything for her.
  • Heroic BSoD: After a few too many mistakes and hits to her self-worth, Billie takes to Walky's bed and refuses to speak. Ruth pries her out of it... just in time for Billie to run into, and be publicly rejected by, Alice.
  • How the Mighty Have Fallen: Went from Alpha Bitch to Butt-Monkey simply by graduating. Has slowly begun to realize this and the results are not pretty.
  • I Just Want to Have Friends: Popular friends, that is.
  • Inferiority Superiority Complex: She's convinced that she's better than all these geeks...because deep down she's fighting crippling self-image problems.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Talks a good game about not wanting to be friends with the rest of the cast but still spends all her time with them, helps set-up Walky with Dorothy, looks out for Joyce and even showed concern for Ruth, her tormentor and confused love interest. She also tries to pay off Raidah after Sarah hits her (without much success).
  • Know-Nothing Know-It-All: About relationships. She thought she had it all together in High School, in college not so much. It's downplayed overall as she still gives decent advice.
  • Like an Old Married Couple: Dorothy described Billie and Walky this way early on in the strip. Billie was unamused.
  • Like Brother and Sister: Their actual relationship, vouched for by them both, with shades of Vitriolic Best Buds.
  • Not Helping Your Case: Ruth got her tickets to a football game by claiming she was a "troubled teen". Billie doesn't take this well.
    Billie: The Hell I'm a troubled teen! I'll punch you in you face!
    Ruth: Very convincing.
  • Only Known by Their Nickname: Walky bestowed it on her during their childhood, in retaliation for her calling him "Walky," and evidently it's just stuck.
  • Parental Neglect: She sees her parents so little that she's more attached to Sal and Walky's mom and dad.
  • Race Lift: In mainline continuity, Billie was just white, but apparently Willis got asked enough if she was Asian during its run that he decided to make her half-Asian here.
    Willis: Everyone always assumed she was Asian back in Roomies!, what with the black hair and fair complexion, even though she was conceived as thoroughly English. So I figgered this go-round, hey, she's half-Asian, why not? ... Her dad, of course, is still white through-and-through, because, dude, last name's friggin' Billingsworth, man.'
  • Raven Hair, Ivory Skin: Is pale with black hair, and is considered attractive.
  • Relationship Upgrade: With Ruth.
  • Selective Obliviousness: The only way she's managed to avoid a Heroic BSoD thus far. While it seems finally start getting broken after Ruth initially breaks up with her and Alice gives her a "The Reason You Suck" Speech, she relapses once she changes dorms and gets a taste of the popular life again.
  • Toxic Friend Influence: Billie has no issues with indulging in her vices, including drinking, but in the process drags others down with her. The car accident she and Alice were in came as a result of her drunk driving, with Alice only going along with it because she trusted Billie. After Ruth was nearly Driven to Suicide, Billie attempted to get better for Ruth, but gave into her habits once she changed dorms and was considered popular again, unaware to the pain this was causing Ruth. She eventually comes to realize this herself, but rather than try to change, she simply alienates herself from Ruth so Ruth can continue to get better while she remains toxic.
  • Weight Woe:
    • Has put on a few pounds, probably due to all the drinking and stress.
    • She lets slip that she can't lift her right leg as high as she used to. Whether this is a permanent injury from her drunken car accident or just her not stretching regularly, she doesn't say.
  • Wrong Genre Savvy: Early on, she tried to act as though she were still an Alpha Bitch in high school, not realizing that college works very differently.

    Joyce Brown

"I think we should give everybody a chance before we write them off. Even the bad people. I admit sometimes I'm not very good at it, but I feel I at least need to try."

The closest to a protagonist in this comic, Joyce is a naive homeschooled young woman about to get the culture shock(s) of her life. She ends up rooming with Sarah.

  • Achey Scars: She reflexively touches the mark on her hand when reminded of the party night.
  • Adorkable: She tries very hard to make friends and can be incredibly cute (and awkward) because of her naiveté and upbringing.
  • All-Loving Heroine: What prevents her Christian fundamentalist ideology from making her unlikable. She may believe that all her friends are going to hell and that homosexuality can be fixed, but she loves and cares about them enough to accept her friends as they are and believe the best of everyone.
  • Armored Closet Gay: Rather, Armored Closet Bi. While she claims her feelings about platonic female relationships are a bit askew due to growing up with Becky, everyone notices she is way too attracted to Sal and Dorothy, and to a lesser extent Billie, for someone who is straight, with even Lucy commenting on it. Joyce meanwhile denies it to heaven and back.
    Lucy: She's a dark blonde? Kind of a bisexual version of me?
    Walky: Ha Ha Ha! But seriously, don't say that within earshot. She'd collapse into herself and absorb all reality.
  • Artistic License – Paleontology: Aside from her skepticism about evolution, she "explains" to Dina that humans and dinosaurs existed in the same era, inspiring legends about dragons. She was also of the belief that the Parasaurolophus could breathe fire. Willis notes in the Alt Text that this was an actual part of his Christian education.invoked
  • Author Avatar: Sort of. Willis himself used to be a fundamentalist Christian (all of the characters in Roomies except Joe belonged to the same church youth group), and he has repeatedly stated that Joyce's journey from her fundamentalist worldview is autobiographical.
  • Be Careful What You Wish For: She finds the thought of life long best friends, like Walky and Billie, falling in love with each other incredibly romantic. Three months later in real world time, or a few hours in comic time, Becky confesses to her.
  • The Beard: Was Ethan's, although she was aware of it and the two agreed to a rather ill-advised "relationship". However, after Becky's Coming-Out Story, Joyce broke up with Ethan in "Goodbye, my friend."
  • Berserk Button: The fact that All Men Are Perverts.
  • Beware the Nice Ones:
    • When drugged and being threatened with sexual violence... She Turns Red.
    • When Amber stabs Ryan half to death, Joyce flat-out says she wishes she had killed him. Amber admits it wasn't for lack of trying on her part.
  • Break the Cutie:
    • The world keeps sending Joyce difficult problems she is very ill-equipped to deal with, and she somehow manages to deal. That said, only Ethan is fully aware of how much pain Joyce is in over her life not going the way she thought it would.
      Jacob: I swear, there's so much pressure building up inside her, one day she's gonna snap and suck like a billion dicks.
      Sarah: I dunno. That's what I've always sort of assumed, but she actually keeps surprising me. She doesn't break so easily.
    • The after-effects of what Ryan did have left Joyce near-incapable of walking the campus grounds on her own, without some kind of a chaperone. Otherwise she starts seeing every male around as Ryan, followed by panic attacks.
    • As of Broken, Joyce seems to have finally been broken by the realization that every part of her former worldview is wrong.
  • Clingy Jealous Girl: Joyce started having overtones of this when Dorothy began dating Walky, something that has not gone unnoticed by the fans. Or by Walky.
  • Closet Key: For Becky, as she was the first girl Becky crushed on.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Despite being the best-socialized member of her home-school group. Or, uh, perhaps because she's the best-socialized member of her home-school group. She at least isn't one of the "No Social Skills" characters.
  • Death Glare: Joyce is very prone to giving death glares, both for comedic but also dramatic purposes:
  • Determinator: Sarah basically describes Joyce as fitting this trope due to her relentless nature when it comes to meeting her goals.
    Sarah: I don't mean any of that as a compliment, by the way. It is actually quite annoying.
  • Dissonant Serenity: She frequently mentions the more disturbing parts of her fundamentalist worldview in the same cheery, sunny tone as everything else.
    Walky: I'm startin' to think your superpower is being able to say the scariest, most messed-up crap while somehow thinkin' it sounds fantastic.
  • Dresses the Same: Here.
    Dorothy: I'm going to go change.
    Joyce: No no no this is awesome.
  • Establishing Character Moment: Her best friend Becky's last words to her she heads out with Joyce's parents: "Just don't let anyone change you, okay?"
  • Failed a Spot Check: She feels the need to ask Mary if there's anyone she likes... interrupting her make-out session with a boy in the process.
  • The Fundamentalist: Subverted, and more so with time. Subscribes to quite strict interpretations of The Bible, but obviously tries to err on the side of inclusion and friendship.
    Joyce: That's what the Son of God says. He is my higher authority, my moral foundation.
  • Give Me a Sign: Feeling insecure about her "relationship" with Ethan compared to those she sees around her, Joyce asks God for some kind of sign. Becky, her lifelong best friend, promptly turns up... and confesses that she's in love with her.
  • Gosh Dang It to Heck!: She doesn't swear. Ever. From a later strip, Joyce tries to tell Joe off:
    Joyce: It'd better be, or I will fudge you up so dang hard everyone'll call you 'poopieface' 'cuz your head'll be stuffed up your own a-hole!
    [everybody giggles]
    Joyce: all know what I meant.
    • After Becky's father kidnaps her at gunpoint, she snaps and begins using "damn", "goddamn", "hell", and "asshole".
  • Hair Color Dissonance: Her hair is meant to be dark blonde, but it is often mistaken for a light brown.
  • Heroic BSoD: After the incident in which she was drugged and almost became a rape victim, Joyce developed a serious post-traumatic stress disorder, and is now unable to move around the campus without being accompanied by someone, otherwise she freezes in place because she is seeing the face of her aggressor everywhere.
  • Horrible Judge of Character: Played for Drama with her Date Rape Averted, but Played for Laughs when she sends Becky out to invite Mike to her dorm party.
    Becky: Joyce is having a party, and she says you're invited if you can be nice.
    Becky: Well?
    Mike: Are you not hearing the laughter?
  • I Just Want to Have Friends: She throws herself into the college social scene with abandon.
  • Incompatible Orientation:
    • With her former boyfriend Ethan. Although now they both know it and were together anyway because they are both uncomfortable with their own sexuality. Joyce has since ended it after a whirlwind of character development, culminating in her realizing that the relationship was wrong.
    • Irony strikes when Becky confesses to Joyce and even kisses her.
  • Informed Ability: It's not clear what her being the "best-socialized" in her home school group actually means, but it's why Joyce was able to go a regular (well, secular) university. When we finally see her friend Becky (who was sent to a Christian college) for a decent length of time, she seems much better socialized.
  • Innocent Bigot:
    • Like the best examples of the trope, when others call her on her Unfortunate Implications, she listens and tries to adjust herself.
    • That quote about moral foundations? It's when she defies her parents, who are trying to get her to abolish her friendship with the atheist Dorothy. Joyce exhibits both the frustrating and the inspirational qualities of devout Christianity, and for that reason, audiences don't always know what to make of her. (The key to understanding her is that she's plainly more "innocent" than "bigot", and is aware of it.)
  • Innocent Blue Eyes: Joyce has colored eyes in a world where almost everyone else has black dots instead. (The other exceptions are her own father, from whom she clearly inherited them, her sibling Jocelyne, and Ruth.)
  • Innocent Inaccurate: Due to her being (mostly) The Ingenue - taken to its extreme when Sarah comments that she doesn't need to date because she has "toys".
    • And while dating Ethan, everyone quips "Have you tried a strap-on?" when she mentions wearing something he'd like.
      Joyce: Everyone keeps saying that! Does anyone have one of these "strap-ons" I can borrow? I'm like a size six.
  • Innocently Insensitive: When she draws penises on the whiteboards of everyone on her floor, she doesn't realize one of them is a trans woman. Fortunately for her, when Carla learns everyone got hit, she finds it Actually Pretty Funny.
  • In-Series Nickname: "Pre-marital hanky-panky" for, you know, fornication. Shared with her mainline-universe counterpart. (Plural? "Pre-marital hankies-panky"!)
  • The Matchmaker: She is obsessed with getting Sarah and Jacob together. It's deconstructed since she insists on hooking them up despite Jacob already having a girlfriend, and she repeatedly ignores warnings that she is only going to hurt everyone involved.
  • Medal of Dishonor: Inverted. Joyce is pleased when she gets a zero on Joe's list of do-ability, because it means she is the only one he judged based on her personality instead of her looks.
  • Morality Pet: Joyce tends to be so innocent in her behavior that most of her friends consider her this to them, in particular Sarah, Joe, and Sal. The only ones who don't treat her as such are Dina, Mike, and Walky.
  • Odd Friendship: Has quite a lot of them, reminiscent of her role as The Heart in It's Walky! It also makes her the closest thing DoA has to a main character.
  • O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Joyce never swears, and while she has been irritated from time to time, she has never been seen outright angry, and is somewhat shy around people she admires or that she finds cool, such as Sal. When Becky is kidnapped by her dad (Becky's dad, not Joyce's), Joyce snaps. She SCREAMS "Damn it!", is in full-blown rage-mode, and outright demands Sal take her to Becky on her motorcycle.
    Dorothy: Oh, jeez, Joyce, I've been so worried. I'm so, so relieved.
    Becky: Also Joyce totally swore!
    Joyce: I said "Dammit" a bunch.
    Dorothy: HOLY SHIT, ARE YOU OKAY?!
  • Picky Eater:
    • She has a thing about different foods touching and a very low tolerance for spices or condiments, including gravy. John figures she would've died of starvation in India.
    • When Becky starts waiting tables at Galasso's, she doesn't even need to ask for Joyce's order.
  • The Pollyanna: See the character quote. Sal lampshades it.
  • Rage Breaking Point:
    • Joyce goes absolutely berserk after seeing her best friend, Becky, being kidnapped, and even goes as far as punching Becky's dad, successfully knocking him out.
    • She snaps at her brother John after he acts incredibly condescending towards Becky and her, yelling at him, all of her contained rage pouring out.
  • Red Eyes, Take Warning:
    • Joyce's blue eyes turn to red after punching Ross, Becky's father. She was about to kick him while he was down until Becky stopped her.
    • The red eyes make a return after John, Joyce's brother, keeps making insensitive comments about Becky's situation and acts patronizing. Joyce, after having heard enough, snaps:
      John: Just listen to yourself Joyce, you sound so angry. So bitter.
      Joyce: BECAUSE I AM!
  • Sex Is Evil, and I Am Horny:
  • She Cleans Up Nicely: Willis gives her the widest variety in clothing styles, as she tries out new things. They're still all really conservative, but even Joe reacted to her yellow dress.
    Joyce: What? Is anything wrong?
    Joe: Excuse me I've gotta go find a vest. And my eyebrows.
  • Single Woman Seeks Good Man: Came to college explicitly to get her MRS Degree. All indications are that she has since backed off from this, though how much the good and bad experiences she's had so far have influenced this is unclear.
  • Stranger in a Familiar Land: The longer Joyce stays in college, the less welcoming her home, family, and religion feel to her.
  • To Be Lawful or Good: Struggles with having to choose between her friends and her religion, and she makes it clear she'll choose "good" every time.
  • Trauma Conga Line: Before her first month at college is through, she's already been nearly date-raped, and then nearly been shot by her best friend's father.
  • Yaoi Fangirl: Given her serious problems dealing with her sexuality, you shouldn't read too much into her response to finding out gay porn exists. Nevertheless...

    Lucy Glenn

Malaya's roommate, avid comic book fan, and Nice Girl.

  • Ascended Extra: Initially a tertiary character due to being Malaya's roommate, she elevates to the Ensemble Cast once she becomes Billie's roommate.
  • Black and Nerdy: Combined with hints of Yaoi Fangirl, at least if this is any indication.
  • Demoted to Extra: While a major character in the last few years of Shortpacked!, she's an extremely minor one at first here. Subverted once she joins the Ensemble Cast.
  • Irony: Considering the... um, challenging cast of this strip, Malaya could've done a lot worse than Lucy as far as roommates go. Doesn't stop her from acting like she's a nightmare.
  • Nice Girl: Despite Malaya calling Lucy her "awful roommate" and insisting that she's "the worst," Lucy is very friendly and amiable. Though she can be a bit too excited about her shipping.

    Malaya Eugenio
A roller-derby skater who hangs out with Sal and Marcie.

  • Ambiguous Gender Identity: Malaya isn't entirely sure she's a cis female.
  • The Friend Nobody Likes: Sal isn't sure why Marcie lets Malaya hang around so much, and Carla's not overly fond of Malaya either. That doesn't mean the group won't stick up for her against vigilantes, however...
  • Head Pet: Fuckface the Iguana making his triumphant return.
  • Hidden Depths:
    • She follows through on Sal's suggestion that she just learn sign language, much to Sal's surprise.
    • One strip implies she's actually more capable of studying than Walky.
  • Jerkass: Like her Walkyverse counterpart, she happens to be kind of a jerk.
  • Ms. Fanservice: One strip shows off her rear end and she tends to wear revealing clothing.
  • Oblivious to Love: Has no idea Marcie is interested in her. Whether it's out of disinterest or cluelessness is unknown.
    • It's strongly hinted to be cluelessness when Carla tells her, since she's genuinely surprised for a second before saying Marcie (who's into women) was stupid to be into her when Malaya isn't even sure she is a woman.
  • Phrase Catcher:
    Sal: Goddammit, Malaya.

    Ruth "Ruthless" Lessick

"Time for 'random' drug searches."

The RA of Joyce's dorm, Ruth basically sets herself up as a dictator who keeps her "subjects" in line through over-the-top threats. As the comic goes on, however, it becomes increasingly clear that she has issues...

  • 0% Approval Rating: Pretty much nobody on her floor actually likes Ruth as their R.A. (though Rachel states they'd still much rather deal with her than Mary).
  • Abusive Parents: Her parents are dead, but her grandfather is a verbally and emotionally abusive control freak who sees her as an investment instead of a person.
  • The Alcoholic: In an especially vicious cycle, considering her past.
  • Berserk Button: Don't mention the Ottawa Sens. And don't mention that they're doing better than her favoured team, the Toronto Maple Leafs. Naturally, Billie does both of these in quick succession.
  • Canada, Eh?: She's a little bitter about having to move.
    Billie: Aren't you people supposed to be nice?
    Ruth: May I please punch your sternum?
  • Canadian = Hockey Fan: Specifically, a die-hard Maple Leafs fan.
  • Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon: Her threat to beat people to death with their own femurs if they skip the initial floor meeting becomes memetic In-Universe.
  • Dark and Troubled Past: Her parents died in a car accident, because of a drunk driver. The fact that she became an alcoholic doesn't sit well for her at all because of that. And her hideously abusive, controlling grandfather doesn't help either.
  • Drowning My Sorrows: Ruth got into drinking as an escape regarding her parent's death by drunk driver.
  • Explain, Explain... Oh, Crap!: When dealing with an uncharacteristically peppy Mary, and realizing someone needs to investigate her.
    Ruth: We need to suss this out on the down-low. But I'm not talking to her. I have a hard enough time wanting to continue my existence as it is. [...] Do we know any romantically stupid busy-bodies? ...Shit.
    [Answer Cut]
    Joyce: Well, well, well. Of all the rooms in this dorm, you had to walk into mine. [big dorky smile]
  • Hidden Depths: Harassing Billie turns out to be an outlet for her own self-loathing and a host of other deep psychological issues.
  • Lesser of Two Evils: Many of the residents consider Mary to be much worse than Ruth, and would prefer her to Mary.
  • Loving Bully: Deconstructed. She lashed out at Billie because she couldn't deal with being attracted to a former drunk driver and fellow alcoholic.
  • Master of the Mixed Message: "Do I send any other kind?"
  • Meaningful Name:
    Dina: Ruth Lessick? Is that why you nicknamed her "Ruthless?"
    Mandy: Sshh I want to keep my femurs!
  • Mood-Swinger
    Walky: Your unpredictable mood changes are frightening an' disorienting.
    Ruth: Awww, thanks for noticing.
  • Not So Different: To Billie, an alcoholic girl with absent parents and a willingness to use force to get her way.
  • Odd Friendship: With Billie. Escalates to Official Couple.
  • O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Ruth is not one of nature's most cheerful people, even without the baggage she has. So when Billie finds her being nice, and saying it's good to see her, she's alarmed.
    Billie: Oh my god. They drugged the shit out of you, didn't they.
    Ruth: Uh, yeah. Duh. You were there when they started handing me pills yesterday.
  • Parental Abandonment: Her parents were killed by a drunk driver.
  • Pet the Dog: Shortly after threatening to tear out people's femurs and flipping Billie into a couch, she helped Dorothy figure out what to do about Danny. She also offered to dump him for her. "Oh God, please let me do it."
  • Redemption Quest: After her breakdown, Ruth seems to be trying to work her way toward redemption. Though Rachel for one is brutally cynical about the idea.
  • Refuge in Audacity: How she gets away with her over-the-top threats and occasionally abusive behaviour.
  • Relationship Upgrade: With Billie, or so it appears. They both know they're toxic presences, that they're struggling alcoholics and they'll probably kill themselves or each other at some point. They don't care. After being given medication though, Ruth loses her Death Seeker mindset, whereas Billie's refusal to change puts their relationship on the rocks.
  • Significant Green-Eyed Redhead: Is revealed to have green eyes from this strip onwards, which Willis points out is when her character starts becoming more rounded and more human to her Love Interest.
  • Spared by the Adaptation: In Roomies, she was created for the sole purpose of tragically dying in a car accident. In Dumbing of Age, she has a significantly expanded role, as well as having survived the car accident which has now been established as an event which occurred in the past.
  • Suddenly Sexuality: Ruth herself isn't sure whether she's this or Experimented in College. She admits to being confused about her sexuality, but wants to prioritize getting a handle on her other issues first.
  • The Southpaw: Is left-handed according to Word of God.invoked
  • Tsundere:
    • Towards Billie, to the point of being outright abusive.
    • Deconstructed: Ruth behaves this way because she has anti-social tendencies and a bad home life. Billie confronts Ruth demanding to know what their relationship is, after weeks of Ruth alternating between (awkward) displays of affection and bullying. When Ruth suddenly kisses her during all of this, she tells her to fuck off and runs away. Billie is very confused and hurt by whatever attraction she does feel. It's still played for comedy, but the situation is acknowledged by Willis as unhealthy and just wrong.
  • Wrestler in All of Us: In "Urrgl", she suplexes Blaine. It's just a shame it wasn't more permanent.

    Sally "Sal" Walkerton

"Did ah say 'uptight'? Ah think ah meant 'nuts'."

Walky's twin sister, a rebel with a distinct southern accent. She spent some time in a private school, but it seems to have only made her worse. "Shares" a room with Billie.

  • Aloof Dark-Haired Girl: She has long, dark hair, a stoic and aloof attitude, and attracts admirers whether or not she wants to.
  • Ambiguously Brown: In-universe when Joyce tries asking what race the Walkerton twins are.
    Joyce: I... I've been trying to determine if it's rude to ask what, um, flavor of human you two are.
    Walky: Well, my sister is black, but I'm generically beige.
  • The Atoner: We don't know all the details yet, but she considers herself responsible for the accident that robbed Marcie of her voice, and her convenience store robberies were because she needed money to make amends.
  • Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: After Walky admits he hasn't been a good brother in the past. There are limits, though.
    Sal: We ain't never been a huggin' family, huh?
  • Berserk Button: Shows complete disinterest in a fight with Amazi-Girl until she hurts Malaya, at which point Marcie has to prevent Sal from tearing her apart.
  • Biker Babe: Her motorcycle is her preferred mode of transport, and she's usually wearing leather jackets.
  • Combat Pragmatist: Played with: When Amazi-Girl challenges her to a fight, she just has her friends dog pile her. Though after she's restrained, Sal opts to leave rather than actually beat her up.
  • Commander Contrarian: Part of her anti-authoritarian nature means that if told not to do something by a figure of authority, well...
  • Conspicuous Gloves: Sal always wears her distinctive gloves to hide the knife wound on one of her hands, given to her by Amber, even when sleeping in the nude. As one of the Slipshine comics shows, she even wears them during sex.
  • Cool Bike: Owns a pretty cool motorcycle. Joyce has written theme songs for it.
  • Cool People Rebel Against Authority: She's very anti-authoritarian and, in her own words, doesn't like "organized anything."
    Becky: So... Billie moved out an' gave me her bed 'cuz my dad found out I'm gay an' I got pulled outta school an' I'm homeless an' please don't tell anyone in charge an' also she said this would appeal to yer "innate desire to rebel against any an' all authority". Her words, not mine.
    Sal: (Beat) Tell Billie she was right, an' also "Fuck you, wiseass."
  • Daddy's Girl: Perhaps by default. Her father makes a point of hugging and complimenting her on Parent's weekend while her mother is too obsessed with the idea of her brother actually having a girlfriend to even acknowledge Sal's presence.
  • Dark and Troubled Past:
    • Held up two convenience stores as a teenager, and was sent away to a Catholic boarding school in Tennessee. Walky claims he has barely spoken to her in five years.
    • Also expanded on, she got into fights in school when a bully attacked and badly injured Marcie, getting away with it because the faculty refused to believe Sal's word... so she attacked him in the playground. This led to him injuring Marcie with a rock, leading to her muteness.
  • Even the Girls Want Her: Well, at least Joyce and Billie do.
    Mike: For her, right? You'd be a lesbian for her. I mean, c'mon.
    Joyce: Oh, if only. I-it'd be nice, in theory, if I didn't have to deal with any parts below the neck.
  • Expressive Hair: Her natural curls reassert themselves when she is shocked by a bad grade.
  • Expository Hairstyle Change: She keeps the curls for Parent's Weekend, only to have her Dad tell her he likes the way it looks when it's straightened. (Sal takes this as an implied criticism, though he's probably trying to be supportive.) So she "murders the curls" again and claims to prefer it that way, though that is undercut by her expression when she examines the results in a mirror afterwards.
  • Hell-Bent for Leather: Her leather jacket goes with her motorcycle.
    Walky: My parents sent her to a Catholic boarding school after she, y'know, held up two convenience stores. Though I kinda expected her to find Jesus, not leather.
  • Hidden Depths:
    • Sal is fluent in American Sign Language thanks to her lifelong friendship with Marcie.
    • Sal had a dinosaur phase. She was able to answer to Dina that her favorite dinosaur was Pachycephalosaurus and bond with her over talking about them.
    • She's a very musical person, to the point that it's implied she'd become a music major. She taught herself to play the bass and can hold a tune singing.
  • Internalized Categorism: Is convinced their parents favored Walky because he looks more white and straightens her hair to look less black. Seems to have some self-image issues besides this. (This explains why she's not close to Joyce, who is clearly in awe of her - or rather, the image she cultivates.)
  • Impaled Palm: After the convenience store holdup, Amber drove a knife through Sal's hand. This is why she always wears gloves.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: More aloof than an outright jerk, but despite her attempts to stay away from the issues of the cast, she almost always steps up to help them when asked. Notable instances include helping Joyce work through her post-Ryan issues and searching for Billie all night after she went missing.
  • Mixed Ancestry: Half African-American father, Caucasian mother.
  • Ms. Fanservice: Sal looks good in pretty much anything she wears, sleeps mostly nude, and is willing to screw on a whim. She has easily won all polls for "Hottest DoA Character" and most character's first reaction to her is slack-jawed awe.
  • The Nicknamer: Mainly because she doesn't learn most people's real names thanks to keeping them at arm's length. Her nickname for Danny, "Wonderbread", is friendlier than a lot of them.
  • Noodle Incident: She somehow lost her virginity due to an Apples to Apples game at her boarding school.
  • Not Good with People: It's one of the reasons for her isolation, she finds it hard to open up to others, including her own brother, and feels people are only taking an interest in her to "fix" her attitude. It's lampshaded in a strip where she openly confesses it to Walky... and then notes that that's probably why she was only able to open up to him after he'd already walked away.
  • Not a Morning Person: What with spending all night out, Sal tends to be very grouchy in the morning, as Joyce and Becky's throats can attest (though in fairness to Sal, that specific incident was them hovering over her bed).
  • Oblivious to Love: Not regarding anyone who has a crush on her, but for the longest time she just couldn't figure out the glaringly obvious reason why Marcie wanted to hang out with Malaya so much.
    Sal: Whaddaya mean, you already told me? Ah think ah woulda remembered this.
    Marcie: [signing] That? I wanna hit. note 
    Sal: [clenching her fist] Oh, ah'd love to punch 'er, too.
  • Odd Friendship: She's developed a wary mutual respect with Amazi-girl—mostly due to their mutual interest in catching the boy who roofied Joyce — while remaining completely ignorant of the unwitting role she played in Amazi-girl's creation.
  • O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Sal's a temperamental sort, especially when the subject of her parents and their favoritism towards Walky comes up, so when Linda sends Walky a large box of cookies and Sal barely anything... she just shrugs it off.
    • Sal allows her hair to go natural and dresses and behaves like a very different girl on parents' weekend — all to no avail as her mother ignores her anyway, though she does get some attention from her father.
  • Polar Opposite Twins: With Walky.
  • Rapunzel Hair: And Joyce likes it a little too much. Played with later when Walky reveals that Sal expends a lot of time, money and effort to "murder the curls" out if it and Sal implies (in a wordless Beat Panel) that she wishes she got the same attention when it is natural.
  • Rebel Relaxation: She does this a lot (leading Joyce to imitate her), and even asks Jason to prop her up like this when she's too wasted to manage it herself.
  • Sibling Rivalry: With Walky, for their parents' attention.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: What with her temper, and her general disregard for social norms, Sal does swear often. Especially when she's really annoyed (like, say, when getting too into Mario Kart...)
  • Stealth Hi/Bye: Prefers windows to doors, a trait she shares with her mainline-canon counterpart.
  • Strong Family Resemblance: With Walky, though it's much less apparent when her hair is natural.
  • The Southpaw: Is left handed according to Word of God.
  • Teacher/Student Romance: Screws her TA (Jason) hoping to improve her Math grade, and when that doesn't work screws him again to show him how angry she is. And then a few more times after that...
  • There Was a Door: While not exactly to the extent of the original Sal, she does have a habit, which initially annoys Billie. A lot.
  • The Unfavorite: And extremely irked that her brother still refuses to acknowledge it.
    • She refuses to drop her math class despite initially struggling because she doesn't want another lecture from her parents about how she's a failure.
    • Word of God states that that Sal's botched juvenile convenience store robberies were a cry for attention from her parents.
    • Sal even brings this up when acknowledging Walky & Billie's Like Brother and Sister relationship.
      Billie: Hell, sometimes I accidentally call your parents 'mom and dad'.
      Sal: Glad they got at least one daughter they like.
    • Made even worse when Mrs. Walkerton sends them a care package. Walky and Billie get similarly sized boxes filled with cookies (which incidentally include Billie's favourite), while Sal gets a much smaller box. And after some digging from Walky, all he finds is another box for Dorothy.

    Sarah Clinton
"Yeah, I'm gonna keep ten paces behind you."

A bitter (for very complicated reasons) sophomore, who ends up rooming with Joyce.

Male Characters

    Danny Wilcox

"Sweet, I'm either desirable or merely incredibly unthreatening!"

Danny is a timid kind of guy who followed his girlfriend off to college...only to be very quickly dumped by her. He rooms with Joe.

  • Above the Influence: To Joe's disgust.
  • Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: As if the Wilcoxes weren't bad enough, Dorothy implies that Danny's mother was the one who sent her a photo frame with engraved scripture about the sanctity of marriage, not to mention being incredibly creepy toward her.
  • Amicable Exes: Getting there with Dorothy, to the point where he came to her with his confusion over his sexuality.
  • Butt-Monkey: Got dumped by his girlfriend after following her to college, and got kidnapped.
  • Distressed Dude: Danny has bad luck with this trope. He was introduced to Amazi-Girl when she rescued him from some jocks. Later, he didn't realize he was being used by Blaine in order to lure Amber out of the campus, and downright became a hostage once Blaine showed his true colors and restrained him physically.
    Joe: Dude, what are you even getting yourself into out there?
  • Extreme Doormat: Danny is very bad at asserting himself, and doesn't know how to handle affirmation. He tries to brush off Amber's guilt over nearly calling him a piece of shit in a fit of rage by telling her he's "used to stuff like that". Dorothy broke off their relationship in the first place because of this.
  • Geeky Turn-On: Looking at pictures of dinosaurs.
  • Has a Type: After being dumped by Dorothy, he immediately goes for Amber. Lampshades were hung.
  • Incredibly Lame Fun:
    • According to him, learning the rules can be fun. The person he's saying this to, Sal, thinks he's trying to be funny.
    • He also seems to find doing laundry fun as well.
  • Nice Guy: Deep down he has a kind personality and truly wants to help others. Sadly, most of his attempts at helping are ineffective or backfire horribly. He confides to Sal that he feels useless, and wants to help her because her math problems are simple for him to solve. As he puts it:
    Danny: I've spent the last few days feeling useless, and so I'd really be grateful just for a chance to solve a problem for somebody.
  • Oblivious to Hints: He was one of the only people to not figure out that Ethan's gay, despite a montage of major clues that Amber dropped.
  • The Power of Love: Subverted.
  • Rescue Romance: His relationship with Amazi-Girl started as a result of this.
  • Satellite Love Interest: Discussed. Dorothy dumps him because she's afraid he's going to turn himself into her Satellite Character.
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Walky seems to think so, though it never went anywhere.
  • Took a Level in Badass: Its a particularly slow and subtle one, but after a few months in-universe Danny is much more confident and sure of himself.
  • Two-Person Love Triangle: With Amber/Amazi-Girl, prior to him finding out they're one and the same.
  • Will Not Tell a Lie: He doesn't like lying to others, in no small part because he's just plain bad at it. He's very uncomfortable with "pretending" to date Amber during Freshman Family weekend. Subverted later on as he keeps Amber's identity secret easily.
  • "Well Done, Son!" Guy: Mild case. He seems to consider being in a relationship a way to prove to his parents that he's worthwhile.
    Danny: Mom? Dad? I know I screwed things up with Dorothy, but I found someone way better. I won't disappoint you this time!

    David "Walky" Walkerton

"He who's tired of fast food is tired of life!"

Sal's twin brother. A very juvenile young man, who may or may not be smarter than he looks. He rooms with Mike.

  • All Women Love Shoes: Is a very firm believer that only girls own more than one pair of shoes, and that any man who does so is less of a man because of it. Even Joe thinks this is ridiculous.
  • Ambiguously Brown: See Sal above.
    Joyce: I...I've been trying to determine if it's rude to ask what, um, flavor of human you two are.
    Walky: Well, my sister is black, but I'm generically beige.
  • Beautiful All Along: Joyce is impressed by what she sees during his Shirtless Scene.
  • Brilliant, but Lazy:
    • He's never had to work hard to get top grades at school. Case in point: while Sal has to work to get her Math grade up and is quietly pleased with a 76, Walky casually gets an 85.
    • As the comic goes on, this starts to backfire on him as the work gets harder, causing him to panic a bit because he has no studying skills.
  • Chick Magnet: Even though he's far from the most desirable bachelor in the boys dorm, he's managed to charm almost as many girls as Jacob, with Dorothy, Lucy, and Amber all confirmed to have feelings for him. Even Joyce was impressed by how surprisingly toned Walky is under his hoodies.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Avoiding all grownup responsibilities appears to be his goal.
  • Consummate Liar: He's surprisingly good at lying his way out of tight situations.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Shows up sometimes, like when Dorothy freaks out about missing classes.
    Dorothy: You know who missed classes? James Buchanan. He skipped his classes and the union dissolved.
    Walky: Some would say it was really over the ownership of human beings, but I think you're on to somethin' there.
  • Demoted to Extra: Walky's importance is significantly downplayed. His mainline counterpart was the protagonist of a good ten years of continuity, whereas he gets third billing—if that—here at college.
  • Expressive Hair: Just like Sal, when he gets a bad grade his hair instantly poofs up.
  • Geeky Turn-On: Dorothy's love of the Dexter & Monkey Master cartoon acts as this on him.
  • Genius Ditz: While he's naturally bright, he's also more than a little eccentric. Best evidenced with the final two panels of this strip.
    Walky: Yeah [Dorothy knows that Ethan's gay], but she needed you to spell it out for her. Me, I'm just a genius... Are my pants on backwards?
  • Has a Type: After being dumped by Dorothy, he immediately goes for Amber. No lampshades have been hung, unlike when Danny did this.
  • He-Man Woman Hater: Early on ("I HATE PRETTY THINGS!") Current-Walky wishes he could go back in time and punch himself.
  • Hollywood Atheist: Unlike Dorothy, Walky is much more outspoken and much less tactful around Joyce about his lack of faith, and blatantly tries to mock and insult her for it. This is more to show his own immature childishness than anything.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Mainly because his way of dealing with harsh things is to be as immature as possible, but he does care about his friends. His relationships with Joyce, Billie and Sal are pretty good proof of that.
  • Laser-Guided Karma:
  • Like Brother and Sister: With Billie. He's actually closer to her than he is to his twin sister Sal.
  • Love Makes You Dumb: invoked here. Early on in the series it was a running gag for Walky to have some variant of that face whenever Dorothy was in the same room.
  • Manchild: He likes cartoons, junk food, Power Rangers and pyjama-jeans.
    Dorothy: Um, Leslie, a boy just threw a toy at my head.
    Leslie: It's probably because he likes you.
    Walky: [crush blush]
    • It ends up being deconstructed, as it becomes increasingly clear as the comic progresses that Walky's immature demeanor is the result of his parents pampering him throughout his childhood, so much so that he walked into college completely unprepared for life on his own, and he knows it. Mike as well thinks it's pretty obvious that Walky has an undiagnosed case of ADHD, further demonstrating how shit a job the Walkertons did at actually parenting him.
  • Mixed Ancestry: Like his sister, he has a half African-American father and a Caucasian mother. However, despite them both having the exact same skin tone, he jokes that she's black and he's "generically beige", perhaps because of her accent and his naturally straighter hair.
  • Morality Pet: Billie tends to avoid the worst of his childishness, and he dials it down even further when he thinks she's hurting.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: Despite being a lazy, childish dork who sleeps in and watches cartoons all day instead of studying, he gets great grades. Until the newer material comes up, and he can't just coast on stuff he already knows.
  • Odd Friendship: With Joyce. It's also of the oddest ones she's developed because on the surface they have nothing in common, and deep down they...still have nothing in common. At first, they were less "friends" and more "people who share two classes, a lunch gap, and a mutual friend in Dorothy," though Walky later introduced Joyce to Dexter and Monkey Master. All this is particularly amusing because in the Walkyverse, they're THE Official Couple.
  • Old Shame: In-Universe, Walky's stint as a child actor on Himmel the Humming Hymnal, both because it's embarrassing (besides being the sort of show he vehemently dislikes, Joyce may have been crushing on some of them...) and because it confirms the Parental Favoritism he'd just been vehemently denying to Sal.
  • Only Known by Their Nickname: Except to his family, of course, since they're all Walkertons. Sal makes a point of addressing him only as "bro" or, when the circumstances require, "David". Dorothy calls him David when she wants him to be serious.
  • Open Mouth, Insert Foot: He's done this a couple times, once by calling Joyce "crazy brainwashed" when she was standing just off-panel, and the other by almost saying "gun to my head" after Becky's dad had taken her hostage with a gun. He at least realized his error before the words left his mouth that time.
  • Parenting the Husband: Although unmarried, Walky invoked this trope when he temporarily broke up with Dorothy. But despite his resentment early on, Walky doesn't really want to "grow up" and likes how dominant Dorothy is in the relationship...
  • Polar Opposite Twins: With Sal, so much that it's not clear everyone (other than childhood friends Marcie and Billie, who presumably know) has even realized that they are twins. Danny didn't figure it out until midway through book five, and only because he saw them sitting together at a party.
  • Secret Keeper: Sort of... He's seen Amazi-Girl unmasked, but doesn't really know Amber well enough to make the connection without her prodding, and even then can't remember her name.
  • Snark Ball: Even Walky can be snarky when someone (usually Joyce) gives him the opportunity.
  • Wrong Genre Savvy: He assumes Amazi-Girl secretly works at the school newspaper like Clark Kent.

    Ethan Siegel
"Okay, but we're only going to ask you four more times."

Ethan is a friendly gay young man with identity issues. He used to date Amber before he accepted his homosexuality, and also knew Mike in high school.

  • Age Lift: Downplayed. While most of the characters in DOA are aged down compared to their originals, Ethan was noted to be the oldest of the Shortpacked cast (minus Galasso and the parents). In DOA Ethan's reverted to be around Amber and Mike's ages while Robin and Leslie are older than him.
  • Closet Key: For Danny, who's pole-axed by it, having considered himself straight until that point.
  • Coming-Out Story: Part of this comic's Back Story, since it was an active plotline in Shortpacked! Evidently it happened at prom. In a hotel room that he had booked for himself and Amber.
  • Demoted to Extra: He was the main character of Shortpacked for a long time, before being superseded by Leslie and/or Robin. Here, his character has taken a step back, and is more of a recurring character without much going on besides his connection to Amber and Joyce.
  • The Ditherer: Big time. He's reluctant to make his own decisions and tends to follow along with what other people want.
  • Gayngst: Oh boy... Things were not easy when he came out of the closet, and his parents didn't really react well when they learned, especially his mother who went as far as saying some very cruel things to her own son. His sexuality also strained his relationship with Amber, who became the catalyst for his mother's anger when she was defending him at the time.
  • He Is All Grown Up: Amber mentions that he turned "suddenly hot" at 16.
  • Incompatible Orientation: To Amber, and then Joyce (who he went out with anyway because they are both uncomfortable with their own sexuality and have a strong emotional connection).
  • Jewish and Nerdy: He mentions having a hard time fitting in before coming out due to this.
  • Lantern Jaw of Justice: Danny has been very complimentary about his chin.
  • Nice Guy: See the above quote for an example of his general patience with people he knows. When Amber tells him that the girl who held a knife to his throat is at their school, he points out she's almost certainly a different person by now and is more worried about Amber doing something rash. Good call...
  • Nice Jewish Boy: Part of the reason Joyce dates him.
  • Really Gets Around: After sleeping with Mike, Ethan gets a massive confidence boost and starts bedding every gay guy on campus.
  • Secret Keeper: Ethan is the only member of the cast who knows that Jocelyne is a trans woman. He is also one of just four people knowing Amber is the true identity of Amazi-Girl (other three being Dorothy, Danny and Dina).
  • Straight Gay: One of the reasons he tries to reject his homosexuality is the idea that being gay swallowing up his identity as his sole defining trait, rather than any of his nerdy hobbies.
  • Tall, Dark, and Handsome: He's one of the taller characters, and looks like (in Danny's words) "the love-child of Jake Gyllenhaal and Nightwing". Mike, of all people, tells him that his worries about being "undateable" are unfounded for this exact reason.

    Joe Rosenthal

"Hey, do you subscribe to my 'do' list's RSS feed?"

Joe is the ultimate ladies' man, with that being first on his mind... and not much else. He's Danny's roommate.

  • Big "NO!": When he and Joyce are paired in a class assignment - and have to pretend to be married.
  • Brutal Honesty:
    Joe: You know I've never been the sort of friend who'd say, "Aw naw, dawg, you're totally strong enough," right?
    Danny: I live in a lot of fantasies.
  • Blue-and-Orange Morality: Considering the below entry for Ethical Slut, his views on sex seem to verge into this sometimes. There are some rules he has for himself that he doesn't quite seem to understand, and a short list of things he is very vehemently against.
  • Carpet of Virility: Gaston-level chest hair.
  • The Casanova: A trait he shares with his Walkyverse counterpart's earlier days. This time, though, there's a bit of compulsiveness to it — his date with Joyce went badly in part because he couldn't keep his eyes on her.
  • Crazy-Prepared: He always carries an extra sock to hang on a doorknob.
  • Ethical Slut:
  • Everyone Has Standards: Joe has absolutely no patience for infidelity or breaking a happy relationship.
  • Faux Horrific: His reaction to Danny's choice to take up the Ukelele.
  • Freudian Excuse:
    • He never justifies his own actions with this, but his parents had a messy divorce and his father is also The Casanova. (Or, as Word of God puts it, Joe's Dad is basically Roomies-era Joe.) Going by his statement that "they yell a lot," it's suggested he has some lingering issues with it.
    • When required to role-play part of a married couple in class, he gets very touchy and makes no secret of how he considers the whole idea a farce. Even Joyce, who usually can't stand him, asks if he's all right.
  • Genius Ditz: Knows a lot about the opposite sex. Not as knowledgeable about much else.
  • Girl-on-Girl Is Hot: "...Now make out. Make out, dammit."
    Walky: Has that ever worked?
    Joe: Once, on a TV show.
  • Gym Bunny: Rare heterosexual version. Whatever interest Joe had in fitness prior to college, he now sees it only as a way to stay attractive. After swearing off romantic and sexual relationships (for now), his motivation to stay fit drops to almost nothing.
  • Hidden Depths:
    • As shown in interactions with Joyce, Walky and Danny, Joe is very capable of being the Only Sane Man and calling people on their stupidity... He just usually isn't willing to be. At least in Joyce's case it seems to have stuck.
    • Upon discovering Walky thinks that only women can own more than one pair of shoes, he promptly shuts him down. (Granted, Joe was a little too hungover at the time to simply ignore Walky.)
      Joe: If your manhood is so fragile that you gotta depend on following dumb little rules you made up, I'd keep it to your damn self.
    • He's the first person to catch onto Sarah's plan to get Joyce and Jacob together.
  • Identical Grandson: "Geez, Joe, your dad is just you with a beard."
  • Informed Judaism: He is Jewish but doesn't seem to be practicing. When Danny points out that he never goes to temple, Joe claims it's all downhill once you hit thirteen. "You can't get your grandparents' life savings more than once."
  • It's All About Me: He can be rather selfish at times. When Danny tries tentatively to bring up his sexuality issues, Joe's response is to point-blank ask if he's gay or not, as he's not interested in "hand-holding" or dealing with feelings.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: While he can be a chauvinistic jerk that objectifies women, enough to have a "Do-List", he does genuinely worry for Danny and Joyce, and can be quite nice to others like Dorothy and Walky. He also won't hesitate to apologize when he realizes he screwed up.
  • Like Father, Like Son: His father is described as Joe's Roomies incarnation, and based on Joe's reaction to Rachel meeting him and hearing Amber's mom knows him, he does not approve too much. Joe does not seem to know that he is basically a watered down version of his father though.
  • Odd Friendship: Seems to have developed one with Joyce, who texts him during the time she's at home with Becky, usually asking for advice.
  • Out of Focus: Over the last few years, Joe's been less prominent that he used to be, only making a few appearances every few months. He comes back into the plot somewhat when he starts helping Joyce with her new parental issues, and he later received his own arc after his "Do-List" was exposed.
  • Perma-Stubble: Has recently developed a massive amount of stubble. Whether he's trying to grow a beard like his Walkyverse counterpart or has just given up shaving isn't stated.
  • Person as Verb: He likes turning peoples' names into verbs, most obviously Danny's.
  • Really Gets Around: Asks "What kind of threesome did I have last night?", but it turns out to be a subversion. He's never had a threesome, he just likes to talk big.
  • Shirtless Scene: Danny wishes Joe was less comfortable walking around their room in his underwear.
  • The Southpaw: He's left handed according to Word of God.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: Once they start getting along, Joe and Joyce happily offer advice to one another... and angrily text each other insults and other jabs.
  • What the Hell, Hero?: He tells off Sarah and Joyce for trying to break up Jacob and Raidah.

    Mike Warner

"Because I paid your mom a nickel."

Defining the "Sadistic Good" alignment, Mike revels in butting in to help his fellow students with their problems in the most cruel, painful, personally devastating ways possible. He's sharing a room with Walky.

  • Armor-Piercing Question: Delivered one or two, as part of his Jerkass Has a Point routine:
    Mike: (to Walky and Billie) So for the past several weeks, you've said Joyce's sunny routine was annoying and you made fun of her for it. But now that she's dropped it...You want it back?
    Mike: (to Amber) If you really are doomed to follow your parents' pattern, and you're never the one picking the jerks... which of them does that make you?
  • Card-Carrying Villain: Outright calls himself an "irredeemable one-dimensional troll of a non-person".
  • Cheated Angle: The Alt Text doesn't think he's in a position to mock Ethan's hair, as his isn't even three-dimensional.
  • A Day in the Limelight: Book 8 chapter 4 focuses on him and his backstory.
  • Crazy-Prepared: Turns out he keeps files on everybody to be more efficiently insulting.
  • Flat Character: His motivation and background weren't revealed until book 8 chapter 4. This stands in enormous contrast to the effect he has on people and plotlines, to the point that it's easier to think of him as a walking plot device rather than a person.
  • The Friend Nobody Likes: The reason Ethan chose not to room with him. Really, pretty much no one properly likes him in-universe, and it is a running mystery why his presence is tolerated so well.
  • Heel Realization: Tough Love has him realize his Jerkass Has a Point schtick is disturbingly similar to what Blaine's telling Amber (or Amazi-Girl) while beating the stuffing out of her. It leads straight to...
  • Heroic Sacrifice: Tackles Blaine off the staircase to save Amber. The strip cuts off to a different arc without showing the damages, leaving his fate ambiguous. Blaine - who's neither reliable nor of sound mind at the time - flip-flops between claiming he's alive but comatose and claiming he's dead.
  • Jerkass: Everyone else's character bio goes into some detail on their outlook, history and relationships. Mike's just says he's an asshole and Walky's room-mate.
    Walky: Look, shut up, I'm freakin' out here. Just be helpful for once.
    Mike: Pass.
  • Jerkass Has a Point: Mike's MO. No matter what Brutal Honesty or under-handed methods he utilizes to help people confront their problems, he's more often than not on the mark.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: While he still goes out of his way to say things in the most negative way possible, he is far more involved in the emotional affairs of other characters, and his compassion plainer to see. Though because his motivations are so murky, the "gold" is only visible in the effect something he said or did has had. And then there's the whole 'save Amber/Amazi-Girl by tackling Blaine off the balcony' business...
  • Lighter and Softer: In comparison to his Walkyverse counterpart, this version of him goes much easier on people and doesn't try for Refuge in Audacity. However, whereas Walkyverse!Mike typically went for low-hanging fruit in his jerkassery, Dumbiverse!Mike is more of a benevolent Manipulative Bastard.
  • Love Hurts: It's hinted that Mike has genuine feelings for Ethan, but knows that he'd never return them. When Ethan becomes promiscuous due to Mike boosting his confidence, he seems outright heartbroken.
  • Manipulative Bastard: Dumbiverse Mike's modus operandi. The "help" he provides necessarily requires him to have an insight into human nature that goes way beyond what a college freshman typically would, bordering on being some sort of Required Secondary Power. (It's to the degree that, if Amazi-Girl represents Batman's "hard power" aspect, Mike is the "soft power".)
  • Nerves of Steel: When threatened by a guy wanting to kill him with a ballpeen hammer, he calmly asks to be struck with a weapon with a less silly name.
  • Not So Different: Due to similar manipulative tendencies, he sees similarities between himself and Blaine.
  • Perpetual Frowner: He is never seen without his trademark scowl.
  • Screw the Money, I Have Rules!: Given the choice between money and the chance to punch people (well, just Joe so far), he picks the latter.
  • Sink-or-Swim Mentor: This appears to be Mike's purpose in this universe — rather than just him being a straight up Jerkass, his behaviour seems to be more a subtle way to get people to realize their failings and act on improving them.
  • Start of Darkness: He Used to Be a Sweet Kid, up until he found out one of his teachers purposely misgraded Amber's test thinking she couldn't be that smart and had to have cheated, called her out on it, and got slapped for his troubles, then found Amber had ran off in fear. After that he became more manipulative, blackmailing Blaine into behaving himself for Amber's birthday. When Blaine confronted him over allegedly outing him anyway, Mike fired back he didn't do it for Amber, he did it to hurt them both. Afterwards, he orchestrated the firing of the aforementioned teacher by catfishing her, making her think she was entering a relationship with one of his friends, the football player Bret, before flipping on her, then severing ties with Bret.
    Mike: I extorted you into being nice to her because it would torture both of you. If I was doing her a solid, I'd have ordered you to get as far away from her as possible. None are righteous. Not even one. Hell, you want a key to my parents'? Please do your worst.
  • Took a Level in Jerkass: In the flashbacks in book 8 chapter 4, he's shown to be rather kind. These days...
  • Tough Love: His personal code. Or something. An early 2020 strip had him start to question if this is the right approach though...
  • Uncertain Doom: After his Heroic Sacrifice, what happens to him after the falls isn't shown. It cuts to the following day, with several dozen strips going by without even a mention of him. Amber assumes he's dead, but Blaine reveals that he's alive but comatose. Yet, Amber thinks he might be lying to use him as leverage. And then a flashback is shown, proving that Mike survived his fall.
  • Unwitting Instigator of Doom: His attempt at blackmailing Blaine resulted in Blaine agreeing to drive Amber and Ethan for their field trip. Said drive would lead to them being caught in Sal holding up the convenience store and the incident that both physically scarred Sal and mentally scarred Amber.
  • What the Hell, Hero?: Calls Ethan out for dating Joyce despite being gay just to make himself feel better about how messed up things are with Amber.

Secondary Characters

At the Campus

    Alice Chen

Billie's best friend from high school, who decided to break all ties with her over her self-destructive behavior.

  • The Cheerleader: Although she doesn't appear to be clinging to that old high school identity as hard as Billie.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Gives one to Billie regarding her past behavior in high school. An especially unfortunately timed one, as Billie was just starting to come to a similar conclusion herself only to have Alice hammer it home in no uncertain terms:
    Walky: I just want the, y'know, old Billie back.
    Billie: Well, I'm pretty fuckin' sure I don't.
    Alice: Finally, an epiphany. You should have taken the damn clue when I didn't talk to you all summer.

An old "friend" of Sal's when she was a kid, he was the one who got her involved in robbing stores. He attends Indiana himself but hadn't made contact with any of the core cast until Walky learned he was there and decided to see if he was still a bad influence for Sal's sake.
  • Armor-Piercing Response: After Walky blames him for getting Sal sent away for five years and further straining their relationship, Asher points out that he only called the cops on her, not sent her away. Rather, it was the Walkerton's parents that decided to send Sal away. Asher saying this leaves Walky in a Stunned Silence with tears welling up in his eyes.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: He initially debuts in Sal's flashback detailing how Sal would eventually come to rob the convenience store, and doesn't show up in the present until three chapters later.
  • He Is All Grown Up: He's definitely changed a lot from when he was thirteen: Amber outright calls him hot, much to Walky's shock, and Sal lampshades the trope when she meets up with him again.
    Sal: Yeah, yeah, puberty has been kind to us both. Shut up.
  • Insult Backfire: When he catches Amber and Walky spying on him, he concludes they were checking out whether or not he was up to his old ways, shortly after giving a smug smirk while saying its understandable.
  • Misplaced Retribution: A victim of it. After learning that he was the one who called the cops on Sal, Walky hits his Rage Breaking Point and slugs Asher in the face, blaming him for Sal being sent away for five years and further straining their relationship. Asher rightfully points out though that he didn't send Sal away, their parents did.
  • Reformed Criminal: He tells Walky and Amber that he isn't the same Asher that robbed places, and has both severed ties with his old crew and come to college to be a law abiding citizen. When Blaine approaches him later, he reveals he truly is trying to reform, much to his grandfather's disappointment.
  • Smoking Is Cool: He's been smoking cigarettes since he was a kid.
  • Toxic Friend Influence: He was the one who inspired Sal to rob stores to gain enough money to help out Marcie, with Sal joining him and his friend on a heist, and later dropping Sal off at the convenience store that she'd meet Amber and Ethan at.
  • Unwitting Instigator of Doom: He and his buddy were pulling off a heist around the same time Sal held up the convenience store Amber and Ethan were at, and being a dumb thirteen-year-old, he called the cops on Sal's robbery, both to keep them off his own ass, and because he thought it would be funny. While he doesn't consider it funny now and told Walky to tell Sal he's sorry, his actions ultimately lead to Ethan being held hostage which in turn led to Amber stabbing Sal through the hand.



The sex-starved editor of the school newspaper.

  • Da Editor: She's professional enough to be exasperated with Billie, but tends to prioritize "titillation" (her own).
  • A Date with Rosie Palms: On hearing the rumours about Leslie and Robin, she declares that among the things she needs is "time in the bathroom", with illustrations.
  • Girl-on-Girl Is Hot: Definitely believes in this and is constantly looking for it. For instance, in a Patreon strip when she overhears the confrontation between Amazi-Girl and Sal at the DeSanto rally while on the toilet, her first reaction is to imagine something steamy.
  • Skewed Priorities: The above, due to the below, and best exemplified when she's informed that Amazi-Girl is real.
    Daisy: Did. She have. A chest window? ...God, a chest window woulda... made a great front page splash image.
  • You Need to Get Laid: Apparently it's been a while; she references this with varying degrees of subtlety all the time.


Owner of Galasso's Pizza (and Subs), a restaurant near campus the cast frequent. Tolerated by the student body because his food is just that good.

  • Adaptational Heroism: Not nearly as shady as his Walkyverse counterpart, with nothing like the customer protection rackets existing and in fact does want his customers to be happy, something his counterpart couldn't care less about. The worst he does is fire someone for not breaking someone's spirit.
  • Do Wrong, Right: Fires Sidney Yus not for purposefully giving Becky and Dina the wrong pizza...but because it failed to break the couple's spirit like Sydney claimed, only confusing them.
  • Evil Overlord: Plays the part...despite owning a Pizza Parlor.
  • Happily Married: His wife is still alive in this continuity.
  • Large Ham: Frequently calls his customers fools and shouts everything.
  • Nice Hat: Wears a Chef's hat, one of the few real differences between him and his Walkyverse counterpart.
  • Pet the Dog: Sponsors the School's coming out group, if partly because gender confuses him.
  • Supreme Chef: Why everyone tolerates his behavior: he has the best pizza on campus.
  • Third-Person Person: Wouldn't be Galasso without it.

    Jacob Williams

Ethan's roommate, Joe's new main man and Sarah's pre-law classmate (and lust object).

  • Chick Magnet: Roz has been 'sniffing' around him for a while and Sarah goes almost non-verbal when they first meet, only for Raidah to beat both of them to the punch. After that, it becomes clear that Joyce is developing a crush on him.
  • Deadpan Snarker:
    Walky: I came as soon as I heard Dexter & Monkey Master.
    Jacob: I bet you did.
  • Mr. Fanservice: Introduced working out while shirtless (which kicked off the "Sexiest Man" poll). This, uh, makes things difficult for Ethan. And for Jacob, too, as it turns out. He finds people only being interested in him for sex dehumanizing.
  • Nice Guy: One of the most friendly, pleasant, and understanding people in the series thus far.
  • So Beautiful, It's a Curse: Male example.

    Jason Chesterfield

The TA of Joyce, Walky, Sal, Billie and Mike's freshmen math class.

  • Belligerent Sexual Tension: With Sal for all of about four strips before they go straight to the belligerent sex. It's more evident with Penny, who derides him for being "emotionally unavailable".
  • British Stuffiness: Complete with bowtie, sweater and overly-prim vocabulary.
  • Culture Clash: He is clearly having some trouble aligning himself with the needs of his students, and this seems to be the cause.
  • Double Standard: Penny comments on this when Jason comments on her having a relationship with a student, saying that people actually like her, so if she's caught, nobody will care. On the other hand, most people find Jason to be an irritable prick, so if he's caught in a relationship with a student (which he is), he'd be the one to lose his job and reputation.
  • Everyone Has Standards: He is not above having sex with one of his students but he is above allowing that to affect her grade.
  • Fish out of Water: Comes off as out of his element at anything that's not TA-ing.
  • Framing the Guilty Party: Accidentally happened to him. When Penny gets in trouble for sleeping with a student, she claims that Jason has too...and had no idea at the time that he did. Since Sal has no interest in corroborating to get him in trouble, he'd probably have gotten away with it with a simple denial, but has to much dignity and accepts being fired.
  • Smart People Speak the Queen's English: When Sal asks him what his accent is, he claims he doesn't have an accent, and he's the only one speaking real English.
  • Teacher/Student Romance: Sal seduces him in an effort to get her grades up. This is not particularly surprising metawise, as their intense but ultimately doomed attraction to each other was one of the most stable elements of the Walkyverse where they originated.

    Leslie Bean

The lesbian teacher of the freshmen gender studies class.

  • Berserk Button: Treating one of your fellow students like crap. Roz's attack on Joyce is so far the only thing to truly anger Leslie.
  • Cool Teacher:
    • She is friendly and understanding with her students, even the ones who disagree with everything she believes (Joyce) or actively belittle her subject matter (Joe).
    • She's also demonstrated that she will not tolerate people attacking each other or injecting unnecessary drama into her class, and asks, or rather, orders Roz to leave when she starts harassing Joyce.
  • Fanservice Pack: She briefly undoes her top and does her hair up when Robin stops by, much to Joe and Walky's distress. Robin does (eventually) admit she thinks it makes her "super-cute".
  • First-Name Basis:
    • One of the first things she tells her class is to call her Leslie; the Punny Name would probably stand out a lot more in DoA.
    • She tends to refer to Robin as "Congresswoman Desanto". This ends on finding Robin asleep in her bed.
  • Horrible Judge of Character: She seems to be drawn to women that will use and abuse her, such as Robin and Anna.
  • My God, What Have I Done?:
    • An understated moment occurs when she realizes she brought Robin, someone whose political views clash with the lessons she's trying to teach her students, to her class just for the sake of her own misplaced crush. She quickly shoos Robin out of the room and starts a new lesson plan.
    • She has another right after after refusing to let Dorthy question Robin about Ryan working for her, in order to get his name, Dorothy explains why she was asking about him, utterly crushing Leslie with the realization that her own attempts to fix her mess only let a rapist get away.
  • Only Sane Man: It's beginning to dawn on her that she's one of the few trustworthy authority figures her students have. Even including the students, she's still one of the most level-headed characters.
    Leslie: Need to wear, like, a sandwich board that says, 'Sorry about all those other adults. I promise I'm mostly OK.'
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: Willing to listen to and understand her students.
  • Sell-Out: For a while, she was hesitatingly willing to dismiss her political beliefs to support Robin's political campaign, though she tried to hide her identity during so.
  • Suddenly Sober: When Joyce points out Robin's anti-gay sentiments, which the latter cannot defend, she sulkingly buttons up her top, which she had previously undone in hopes of catching Robin's attention.
  • UST: With Robin. It kicks into overdrive when they start spending time together in Leslie's (very) cramped kitchen. While Leslie is partially undressed and still wearing her hair done up to catch Robin's attention.

    Marcie Diaz

Sal's closest friend since childhood, Marcie is a mute skater and one of the few people Sal consistently listens to. If Sal's not in class or her room, she's probably hanging out with Marcie somewhere.

  • Ascended Extra: A notable example: Her Walkyverse counterpart had two appearances total that weren't in the background or as a general part of her squad. Here, while not main cast, Marcie is a major supporting cast member and Sal's best friend and confidant.
  • Bare Your Midriff: Rarely if ever seen in an outfit that doesn't do this.
  • Cool Shades: Only ever seen wearing red shades / goggles. (She has apparently always done so.)
  • Clingy Jealous Girl: In a Patreon Exclusive, she locked a nude model in a closet after finding out Malaya was going to paint said Model, then told the teacher she was substituting.
  • Dark and Troubled Past: Be it illness or injury, she lost her voice somehow. Eventually revealed to be an injury caused by Leland as revenge for Sal attacking him for bullying Marcie.
  • Death Glare: Shoots Sal one after she starts a fight with Amazi-Girl at Robin's rally.
  • Incompatible Orientation: When a fed-up Sal demands to know what Marcie could possibly see in Malaya that Sal can't provide, Marcie replies that she wants to bang her. Though it turns out that Marcie doesn't even know what Malaya's orientation is, and doesn't want to make a move until she does, so Malaya could turn out to be incompatible as well. For the record, Sal thinks it's pretty obvious that she's straight and Marcie is wasting her time.
    Sal: Does she look at other girls? Does she look at you? Lookit those knockers you got. They're a singularity from which no light can escape. Has she snuck a glance once?
  • Irony: The one person Sal "listens to" can't speak.
  • Morality Chain: Marcie tends to reign in Sal's more destructive behavior and at times acts as her conscience.
  • Mysterious Past: It's unknown just HOW she lost her voice, just that she lost it as a kid and that Sal knows why but isn't willing to share.
  • Only Friend: Marcie is Sal's oldest and closest real friend, and Sal feels very threatened when she starts hanging out with Malaya.
  • Silent Snarker: It's hard not to be snarky when Joyce is around, but she still manages to beat Sal.
  • The Speechless: She can't talk (though she could when she was younger). Sal's explanation to Malaya is "stuff happens."
  • Undying Loyalty: To Sal. Despite fighting with her on occasion, she moved all the way to campus and into a cramped apartment just to support Sal, knowing her friend would be lonely that far away and need someone to lean on.
  • What the Hell, Hero?: Chews out Sal via text for picking a fight with Amazi-Girl while she was running security.



One of the dorm residents in the Clark Wing, and not a big fan of Ruth. In some ironic twist of fate, she shares a room with the only other Rachel on campus.

  • Deadpan Snarker: She's a very minor character in the comic, but more than half her spoken lines seem to be some kind of snide or sarcastic remark.
  • Irrational Hatred: Rachel hates Ruth with a passion, enough for it to turn her into a jerkass when Ruth is nearby. When Ruth attempts to apologize for her past actions, Rachel lays into her with a "The Reason You Suck" Speech, while simultaneously claiming Ruth tricked Billie into a relationship and gets to keep both her and her job, acting as if Billie has little agency of her own. She then goes out of her way to insult or confront Ruth whenever they cross paths, including claiming Ruth has no feelings as Ruth is bawling in the communal showers, or her seeing Ruth is doing better and happy one morning only to try and drudge up the past in order to knock her down again. Her hatred is hinted to stem from when the two were roommates in freshman year, and that only Rachel remembers due to Ruth's mental illness causing her to forget.
  • Kick Them While They're Down: Whether or not Ruth deserved her "The Reason You Suck" Speech, Rachel still decided to hit her with it soon after Ruth had been discharged from the hospital on suicide watch, as she was attempting to apologize for her behavior.
  • One Steve Limit: Averted, as her roommate's name is also Rachel. Ruth has addressed them as "Rachels" on occasion.
  • Right for the Wrong Reasons: She's not wrong to give Ruth a "The Reason You Suck" Speech and that her relationship with Billie is unhealthy, but her outrage that Ruth gets to keep her RA job is entirely directed at the wrong abuser, unaware that Ruth was forced into the job by her grandfather.
  • Silly Rabbit, Idealism Is for Kids!: She doesn't believe redemption exists. Rather, she feels that it is nothing more than an excuse shitty people use to try and hide from what they've done while also giving them an excuse to be more shitty.
  • Small Role, Big Impact: Doesn't appear often, but her one major interaction with Ruth manages to domino effect into Ryan getting stabbed.

    Other Rachel
Rachel's roommate, generally referred to as "Other Rachel." She's a big fan of Amazi-Girl.

  • Adaptation Dye-Job: In her original Walkyverse incarnation, she had brown hair. In this comic her hair has been made purple, to better visually distinguish her from Amber.
  • One Steve Limit: Averted; she's one of two Rachels, not only in the same dorm but in the same room.
  • You Gotta Have Blue Hair: Her hair is a nice shade of purple.


An old friend of Sarah's—or more specifically, of Sarah's roommate Dana. Hates Sarah for getting Dana removed from school, though they eventually call a cease-fire.

  • Even Evil Has Standards: She's more of a jerk than outright evil, but she calls out Char for mocking Dina for her (perceived) mental impairment.
  • Hypocrite:
    • She criticizes her friend for calling Dina retarded, but she still speaks in a distinctly condescending tone to her and even bluntly calls her mentally challenged to her face.
    • Tells Jacob that she cut Sarah out of her life for her own well-being, the exact same reason Sarah called Dana's dad.
  • Jerkass: She may draw the line at "retarded", but she still calls Dina "mentally-challenged" to her face and talks down to her like a small child. That's not going into the way she's treated Sarah. She's also subtlely but noticeably condescending to Joyce during their lunch with Jacob and Becky at Galasso's.
    Dina: Her tone of voice and her posture denotes condescension, correct?
  • Jerkass Has a Point: In this strip, Raidah immediately refers to Joyce as "MAGA-ass." Fan consensus has been that while they don't like it, it's not an unreasonable assumption considering who Joyce was prior to starting college.
  • My Master, Right or Wrong: Shows Undying Loyalty to Dana.
  • No Pronunciation Guide: Joyce enunciates "Rah-ee-dah" for Billie's benefit.
  • Self-Serving Memory: Conveniently leaves out her continued harassment of Sarah when telling Jacob about Sarah punching her, along with Sarah's apology the very next day.

    Robin DeSanto

Roz's older sister and the young congresswoman of the local district. Only more slightly grounded than her main universe incarnation, she got elected on a "family values" platform, which Roz translates as "non-stop pandering to scared homophobic white dudes".

  • Adaptational Villainy: Robin's selfishness is played up considerably and her time as a politician is noted to have caused a lot of harm to the gay community. Even the implication that Robin doesn't really subscribe to these beliefs is used to further show her in a negative light as she pushes these bigoted agendas to better herself uncaring of who gets hurt.
  • Armored Closet Gay: One of the most homophobic anti-LGBT voices in Congress according to Roz, but get two drinks in her and she's all over Leslie. Her refusal to admit she is bisexual, while still enforcing anti-LGBT policies, leads to her being a Broken Pedestal in Leslie's eyes.
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer:
  • Character Development: After getting to personally know some of the cast, Robin learns about the harm she and her party are causing, and begins taking her campaign in a different direction. She then fires her campaign managers when they suggest letting Ryan off the hook.
  • Gay Conservative:
    • Roz immediately notices her attraction to Leslie.
    • This gets deconstructed in book seven, as Leslie has to struggle with being attracted to someone who actively supports homophobic policies to get ahead. Likewise, Robin is having a very hard time denying that she's not straight.
  • Jerkass: Even more selfish than her Walkyverse counterpart, on top of supporting several republican policies just to get ahead no matter who they hurt.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: After several days of invading Leslie's apartment, she finally leaves after learning her Party has dropped her.
  • No Party Given: Played with. It is strongly implied that she ran as a conservative Republican (mostly to curry favor with the redneck vote in her district) but is not actually all that conservative herself, and may, in fact, have few to no principles at all.
  • Oh, Crap!: Has this expression when Joyce turns out to be fairly well informed and asks how she could vote for an anti-gay bill.
  • Purely Aesthetic Glasses: Her eyesight's fine; she only wears glasses to make a good impression.
  • Same Character, but Different: Her immature personality is mostly the same to her Shortpacked one, but she's preoccupied with forwarding her political career and impressing lobbyists and voter blocs. The result is that this Robin comes off as kind of a gladhanding sleaze.
  • Spanner in the Works: Giving Becky control of her Twitter account ends up being Blaine's downfall.
  • Transparent Closet:
    • Her attraction to Leslie is pretty noticeable, and her attempts to deny it are...less than convincing.
    • Yeah, she's sitting on Leslie's sofa, and yeah, they're watching Steven Universe, and yeah, they're holding hands. Robin still swears she's not into Leslie (and that they're barely holding hands).
  • Unwanted Assistance: She decides to try and be a good guest by helping Leslie around the house. Unfortunately, her actions leave a lot to be desired, since Robin takes her usual thoughtless approach to all of it.

    Rose Pepper 

    Roz DeSanto

Robin's extremely liberal younger sister, with very strong ideas on sexual freedom.

  • Adaptational Nice Guy: Roz is considerably less selfish from the get-go in this version. In the conflict with her sister, the audience's intended sympathy has been switched from Shortpacked; rather than Roz being a mooching Annoying Younger Sibling, much of her criticisms against Robin and her ideology are completely justified.
  • Distaff Counterpart: To Joe. (The joke is that they're the same age in this continuity, so they find and sleep with each other in the first week.)
  • Establishing Character Moment: Handing out prophylactics. Just after having casual sex with Joe (which she recorded).
  • Ethical Slut: Roz's sexual ethics are pretty strong, making a point of—for instance—asking Joe if it's okay to tape their encounter. She also goes out of her way to promote safe sex and counseling for rape victims. Her ethics on things that aren't sex are a bit iffy, however, as she's often been mean to Joyce when it's clear she's doing more harm than good, and may or may not have been planning to out her bisexual older sister. And while she got Joe's permission to tape their sexual encounter, and even, apparently, to put it on the internet, she didn't just put it on some random porn site, but made sure it became a big news story.
  • Everyone Has Standards: She may dislike Joyce, but she's willing to back off after Ross attempts to kidnap Becky.
  • The Matchmaker: Trying to set up Robin and Leslie.
  • Not So Different: with her older sister, Congresswoman Robin DeSanto.
  • Rightly Self-Righteous: There's a definite performative aspect to Roz's politics, even if she is completely genuine in her beliefs and she can condescend to people a lot.
  • Sibling Rivalry: With Robin. Not only are Robin's reactionary, anti-choice politics the complete reverse of Roz's, but Robin repeatedly treats her like a prop for her campaign.
  • Soapbox Sadie:
    • She's progressive but tends to be rather obnoxious, condescending, and self-righteous about it.
      Roz: The "church" that forced kids out of their homes and into the streets? That was you. Until today, that was you.
    • Roz is also nonplussed that Leslie is adamantly not okay with Roz shaming Joyce in the class. Roz asks if Joyce gets a pass for shouting over and ignoring gay people her whole life, to which Leslie counters "Said the straight girl to the gay girl who's been asking her to shut up for the past five minutes." When called on her hypocrisy, Roz leaves the class.

    Sierra Snow

"I wanna pray too! ...For the dissolution of gender roles."

One of Joyce's religious friends, and Dorothy's roommate. A bit spacey but generally down to earth.

  • Alliterative Name: The only one in the cast (so far).
  • Bare Your Midriff: Most of her shirts.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Of the "space cadet" variety, contrasting with her roommate Dorothy.
  • Does Not Like Shoes: Although no-one noticed until she mentioned how a church carpet felt on her feet. When questioned, Sierra figures she hasn't worn shoes since sixth grade.
    Sierra: I just don't like shoes. My feet get claustrophobic.
  • The Fundamentalist: Completely averted so far (Church of God, if anyone's curious), to the point that she seems to be fine with Dorothy and Walky's pre-marital hanky-panky. Seems to be excited about having a group to go to church with, but clearly disagrees with Mary and to some extent, Joyce's takes on religion. She also cheerfully talks about praying for the dissolution of gender roles.
  • Happily Adopted: She's adopted and doesn't seem to have a problem with her parents.
  • Huge Schoolgirl: Is one of the taller girls in the cast (without heels!), though no one calls any attention to it. Everyone else seems to be about average height.
  • No Social Skills: Not in the same way as Joyce, but Sierra doesn't notice when she might need to leave the room.
  • Peek-a-Bangs: Her defining visual trait. The right side of her face is always covered by her hair. There doesn't seem to be any of the usual symbolism behind it. (This gets a little odd with the art style, sometimes.)
  • Polyamory: She is in a relationship with Grace, who's also in a relationship with Mandy, who's aware of this and okay with it. And sometimes Sierra makes out with Mandy (though whether it's an actual relationship or just making out is unclear).
  • Recurring Extra: Essentially her role in the cast, as she has little to no involvement in the plot and no apparent personality flaws to further involve her...
  • Unfazed Everyman: ...which also gives her shades of this, aside from her spaciness.

Family members and relatives

    Stacey Brannon 

Amber's mother. She loves her daughter dearly, and is looking out for her well being. Sadly, her love life hasn't been great, to say the least.

  • Horrible Judge of Character: She gets called out by her own daughter on this, with Amber pointing out she has a tendency to fell for horrible men, such as Blaine and Joe's dad.
  • The Maiden Name Debate: She has dropped her husband's last name and returned to her maiden name, Brannon.
    Mike: Good call.

    Linda and Charles Walkerton

Sal and Walky's parents.

  • Abusive Parents:
    • Due to the Parental Favoritism below. They refused to take Sal's side as a kid when Marcy was bullied by a kid on the playground and are heavily implied to be bigoted towards her, if not openly.
    • Even though they openly favor Walky, his mother is unflinching on his becoming a doctor, regardless of what he wants. When it's pointed out that he's in telecommunications, she responds that he is, "until he changes his mind."
  • Amicable Exes: Linda seems to be this with her ex-husband, Dean McHenry.
  • Hypocrite: Linda accuses Sal of smoking while she herself is a smoker according to Sal.
  • Jerkass: Linda has no qualms searching through Sal's stuff, violating her privacy, and upon discovering her shoebox money (over 700$ that Sal was economizing in order to pay for Marcie's surgery) she confiscates it, claiming that Sal's friendship with Marcie (whom Linda considers to be a hoodlum and openly dislikes) is not a "healthy" one, and that she will give her back her money later, after implying she needs to cut ties with Marcie. Some time later, Sal commits a robbery out of anger and desperation.
  • My Beloved Smother: Linda to Walky only. She neglects Sal.
  • Parental Favoritism:
    • When they visit, Charles at least acknowledges Sal's presence and tries conversing with her. Linda doesn't even do that.
    • When sending presents to their kids, there is a noticeable difference between Sal and Walky's gifts, with Walky getting the better ones.
  • Parental Neglect: In the past, Charles was apathetic towards his children's behavior, and seemingly did not realize what his daughter was going through, letting his wife do all the parenting.
  • Parents as People: While there's no excuse for the things she ends up doing, it's demonstrated that Linda truly does care about Sal and most of her deeds were rather misguided attempts at doing what she thought was best for her, without actually understanding that she was just making things worse. It's really not so much that she's a bad person, but more so that she's a horrible parent.

    The Browns 

Hank and Carol Brown

Joyce's parents.

  • Being Good Sucks: Hank mentions that the reason they kept changing churches is because he couldn't compromise his beliefs at all, and Joyce inherited this trait from him. However, he thinks their lives would be easier if they could let themselves be just a little corruptible.
  • Broken Pedestal: Joyce seems to feel this way about her mom after the events of Ross attempting to kidnap Becky at gunpoint, and almost shooting Joyce. Joyce's utterly broken and bitter expression as her mom seems more concerned with Ross going to jail for "trying to save his daughter from homosexuality," and her eerily saying "she would die for Joyce" much like how Ross did makes her realize her mother is just as blinded by her faith as Ross was.
  • Character Development: Hank at first was much like Carol, judgmental and left everything to religious doctrine and his own prejudices. After Joyce stands up to them over their disdain for her Atheist friend Dorothy, he spent a lot of time praying over it and decided he needed to step back and trust Joyce to make her own choices, and remains friendly to Becky, despite the awkwardness of her coming out as a lesbian.
  • Control Freak: Carol is showing more and more signs of this.
    Hank: All I'm saying is, we squeeze too hard and we create another Jordan situation.
    Carol: We created that by not squeezing hard enough.
  • Cool Old Guy: Hank is old enough for all 4 of his known children to be legal adults, and is one of the most approachable parents in the comic due to his Character Development.
  • Epic Fail: In a Patreon strip where we see Hank and Carol's first meeting in college, the former's attempts to flirt fall flat.
  • The Fundamentalist: Much like Joyce, but are a bit more of the Jerkass variety when they meet her atheist friend Dorothy and her parents. While Hank grows out of it after Joyce stands up to them on the issue, Carol only gets worse, siding with Ross after Becky's kidnapping, trying to pull Joyce out of school, and being utterly passive-aggressive and hateful to Becky.
  • Hate Sink: The further the comic goes on, the more it does to make you hate Carol. The tip of the iceberg is when she chips in money to bail Ross out of prison, indirectly setting the rest of book 10's events in motion.
  • Hidden Depths:
    • Hank at first seems like your typical judgmental fundamentalist Christian, but when he comes to pick Joyce up for a weekend at home, he not only invites Becky along, but reveals that, while it will be hard for him to accept Becky's sexual orientation, he still considers her a good kid, and believes he needs to let Joyce make her own decisions, instead of making them for her.
    • He reveals later in the same Book that he too was passionate like Joyce and the reason they changed churches so much wasn't out of ignorance, but out of passion and dedication. He also gets noticeably upset when he overhears the congregation insulting Becky.
  • Jerkass: Carol, in spades. When Becky and her are alone after the events of "To those Who'd Ground Me," her first questions to her are if she really sure she's a lesbian, and asks if it was worth sending her father to prison, utterly ignoring the facts that Becky's dad kidnapped her via gunpoint and almost killed her own daughter in the process. During all of Becky's stay at their house, she acts extremely passive-agressive towards her, putting her husband ill at ease and infuriating Joyce.
  • Mama Bear: Subverted. In spite of all of Carol's talk about how she would die for Joyce, she defends the actions of Ross MacIntyre, the man who pointed a gun at her daughter.
  • My Beloved Smother: Carol is this to Joyce, and it is clear that without Hank reining her in Joyce would have been withdrawn from university a long time ago.
  • Nice Guy: Hank, especially compared to his wife. He happily allows Becky to come with them for the weekend, and spends dinner trying to resolve the tension between her and his wife Carol, who isn't so happy to see Becky. He is also visibly both sad and pissed when he hears other people at church trash-talking Becky because of her hair and sexuality.
  • Noodle Incident: Whatever happened with Joyce's brother, Jordan. It's implied that he is alienated from the rest of the family in some way.
  • Parental Substitute: Hank serves as this to Becky, treating her as he would any of his own children and trying to defend her from his wife.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: Hank, on account of Character Development setting in, and deciding to be much less judgmental. He's about the second-most approachable parent in the comic behind Dorothy's parents.
  • Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Carol and the other members of the church raising money to post bail for Ross ends in her own daughter and several of her friends getting kidnapped, Mike being hospitalized, and Ross himself eventually getting murdered by Blaine.

Jonathan "John" Brown

Joyce's oldest sibling.

  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Initially seems pretty warm and friendly, right up until the subject of punching Becky's dad comes up. Things proceed to get worse from there.
  • Broken Pedestal: Not as severe as with her mom, but Joyce is utterly furious with him for taking Ross' side.
  • Evil Counterpart: To Jocelyne. Jocelyne is kind, polite, well spoken and tries to do what's best for her sister, understanding her point of view while trying to nudge her in the right direction. Josh THINKS he's all of these things, but in reality is an egositical dickhead who thinks he knows better than everyone else and assumes any difference of opinion on Joyce's part is just her being a Spoiled Brat.
  • Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: Subverted and so far the only Brown to still have blonde hair to avert this.
  • Happily Married: Mentioned to have gotten married recently.
  • Hypocrite: He claims that college is giving Joyce and Becky a "sense of entitlement" because they stood up to Becky's father over her lesbianism. Jocelyne points out that he owns a top of the line Mustang given to him for free by his church, bought using money tithed from the poor.
  • Jerkass: After being condescendingly "civil" to Joyce and Becky's faces, he flat-out tells Jocelyne that he considers Becky a sinner who's just being "trendy" and entitled.
  • No Sympathy:
    • Shows an alarming lack of sympathy to Becky's homelessness or the fact that his own sister had a gun shoved in her face. As far as he's concerned, Joyce showing something as unseemly as actual anger totally invalidates her position.
    • Rather than admit that his community has totally failed to prepare Becky for life on her own, he suggests that she "should have thought of that before" everything that happened. When Joyce warns him about finishing that sentence, he switches to tone-policing her.
    • Says Joyce overreacted by breaking her hand punching Ross, despite the fact Ross threatened her at gunpoint and kidnapped her best friend.
  • Perma-Stubble: Has five o'clock shadow. He's presently the only member of the Browns to display facial-hairedness.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: Sees himself as this, in contrast to Joyce's barely-contained rage over Ross' actions, though he really isn't in reality.

Jocelyne Brown

Joyce's second oldest sibling and an aspiring writer with her own website, and closeted trans woman known as "Joshua" or "Josh" to everyone in the cast but Ethan.

  • Big Sister Mentor: To Joyce and Becky, advising the former to be more civil with their mother so that she stays in college and Becky still has a family and helps Becky break into her old house so she can get her Social Security number.
  • Deadpan Snarker: By far the snarkiest member of the family, and she is able to deliver fantastic lines when she is pissed.
  • Dramatic Irony: Joyce has repeatedly said that she's always wanted a sister. Of course, she doesn't know that her older "brother" Joshua is actually a trans woman named Jocelyne.
  • Foil:
    • To Carla. While both are trans-women, Carla chooses to be open about her status, earning her the bigotry of Mary. Meanwhile, Jocelyne remains closeted to avoid alienating her family, who have already demonstrated homophobic behavior towards Becky, causing her to remain well-liked by everyone. Their personalities reflect this, with Carla being a jerk by default, while Jocelyne is a nice girl.
    • Possibly also to Becky. Both have different attitudes about coming out of the closet—Becky rushed out of it, suffered for it and eventually came to greater happiness, and is fully aware of how very conditional her family's love was. She also has absolutely no lingering desire to stay at home. In contrast, Jocelyne stays closeted, suffers for it, and is overall far too attached to her family and memories to come out of the closet the same way as Becky.
  • Given Name Reveal: Inverted, she texts Ethan the link to her website, which happens to be her chosen name.
  • Lady Looks Like a Dude: The main reason why no one but Ethan knows what her real gender is. Even the readers were fooled up until the reveal.
  • Late-Arrival Spoiler: Her true name and gender was a massive twist at the time it was revealed, but that was in 2013. By now, it's almost impossible not to know, especially as the character tags on pre-reveal strips have been revised to call her Jocelyne.
  • Nice Girl: One of the few characters who doesn't need to change much as a person.
  • Parental Favoritism: She says that she's her parents' favorite child, but only because "they know the least about [her]." She's probably not wrong, as she isn't out to her (Fundamentalist Christian) parents as a transwoman, or anyone else in her family for that matter.
  • So Proud of You: Seems to be having this reaction as she sees Joyce standing up for Becky and generally behaving less like The Fundamentalist. She even mentions that she and Joyce should have a chat sometime...
  • Starving Artist: A Patreon-exclusive strip has her bemoaning that she's been misled over the amount of glamour and wealth involved with going into literature.
    Jocelyne: We are what we experience. And these days, John mostly experiences having stuff.
    Joyce: And - and you don't?
    Jocelyne: Joyce, I'm a writer.
  • Stepford Smiler: She mostly appears cheerful and good-natured, or at least frequently smiles. During John and Joyce's argument she's the one trying to keep everything calm and "normal".
  • Transgender: Assigned male at birth, but identifies as female.
  • Walking Spoiler: "He's" Josh, one of Joyce's many older brothers, right? Wrong, she's actually a transwoman named Jocelyne, and Ethan is the only one who knows this.

Jordan Brown

Joyce's third oldest sibling, who is implied to be estranged from the rest of the family for being, in Willis' words "too individualistic".

  • Black Sheep: Of the Browns, though apparently for not doing what his parents told him.
  • Freudian Excuse: Whatever he's like and however he's estranged, it's been heavily implied, if not outright stated that it's because his parents pressed on him too hard.
  • The Ghost: Has only been mentioned so far.

    Riley DeSanto  

Roz and Robin's little sister.



    Mary Bradford

Roz's super-uptight room-mate, whose main personality traits are her "judging you" face and being even more of a fundamentalist than Joyce.

  • Adaptational Villainy: Downplayed. Mary was always a character defined by her selfishness and Holier Than Thou nature and her actions in DOA wouldn't be out of the question for her original Roomies character. That said, her bigotry and unpleasant nature are highlighted a lot more this time around. Notably, while Mary was an asshole in the original strip she wasn't an antagonist so much as a difficult part of Danny and Joyce's life; DOA Mary is one of this strip's villains and much more dangerous.
  • Big "NO!": When the only volunteers for her 'prayer meeting' are a Mormon and a hippy who wants to dissolve gender roles.
  • Blackmail:
    • Mary has found out about Billie and Ruth's relationship, and she's not above holding it over Billie, either. If it had been anyone else, she probably wouldn't need to be concerned, but...
    • The penny drops when she explicitly blackmails Ruth so she doesn't get in trouble for deliberately misgendering Carla.
  • Bullying a Dragon: Yes, Mary. Kick Ruth while she's strung out and can't move against you this very second. That can't go wrong at all...
  • Completely Missing the Point: Among the accusations she makes of Ruth, one of them is that she's "defiling" Billie.
  • Egocentrically Religious: Bratty Faith variant. Mary is deeply religious but self-important in her religion, believing her own doctrine as inherently superior to many of the other religious students, and she has the obnoxious Holier Than Thou attitude to go along with it.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: She's a massive bitch, but not even she would approve of Ryan using his faith to rape women.
  • Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: Upon hearing Ruth mention a "charade" (pretending not to be depressed and hungover), she instantly assumes Ruth trying to stand up for Carla was done for the sake of "liberal brownie points". Ruth's brain visibly short-circuits trying to process this.
  • Evil Counterpart: To Joyce. Both begin the strip as religious fundamentalists with narrow worldviews. Yet while Joyce is a Love Freak who doesn't realize that there's a lot of poison in her upbringing and begins Character Development immediately, Mary looks down her nose at everyone.
  • Eviler Than Thou: Everyone's aware that Ruth is a terrible Resident Assistant, but after finding out what Mary did to her, they unanimously agree that Mary is far worse.
    Mary: [After Billie punches her and everyone does nothing but glare at Mary in pure contempt.] Why are you siding with her against me? It was Ruth who was a terrible R.A.!
    Rachel: Yeah, she was. But we can multitask.
  • Fan of the Past: She worships Ronald Reagan, declaring him "the last great President". Then Roz points out a few things...
  • Finger-Tenting: Yeah, she's evil.
  • Foil: To Joyce, as with Evil Counterpart. If Joyce is a religious fundamentalist gone right, then Mary is definitely one gone wrong.
  • The Fundamentalist: Joyce is intensely religious, but at least tries to be friendly and understanding of others. Mary doesn't.
  • Hate Sink: At best Mary is a Jerk with a Heart of Jerk. She's selfish, bigoted, condescending, and her appearances all usually revolve around how unpleasant she is. Compare to many of the other antagonists in the comic, she's probably the least extreme but also the one you'd most likely meet in real-life.
  • Holier Than Thou: "Everyone's done something wrong" (except her, obviously).
  • Hypocrite:
    • Mary immediately shames Walky for doing nothing when he suspected that something was wrong in Billie's life, blaming him for any harm that might result from his silence. This, after she knew far more about the situation than he ever did and was outright blackmailing both parties.
    • Later on, the series' biggest Holier Than Thou jerkass expresses disgust that Ryan would use his faith to justify anything.
  • Jerkass:
    • When asked if she had any redeeming features whatsoever, Willis replied "she draws okay." (And has reasonable rates, apparently.)
    • After a few strips of a fairly childish feud with Carla, she suddenly sinks to a whole new low by deliberately misgendering her.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: Gets hit with a truckload of this after a while.
    • After misgendering Carla and then blackmailing Ruth to get away with it, Carla sets up an elaborate prank on her, being fairly delebirate in that she's planning something to make Mary nervous. Then getting Mary to steal a box from her containing a pie to the face, followed by a giant laser display of Carla's name, to rub Mary's face in the fact she exists.
    • After trying to use her blackmail to get a prayer going during the dorm meeting, Ruth ignores the issue entirely and Mary's attempt to pray after only attract the attention of a Mormon and a gender role breaking hippie.
    • After Ruth is hospitalized by the psychological damage Mary caused, Billie gives Mary a taste- no mouthful of her own medicine by telling everyone in the dorm how Mary blackmailed her and Ruth, so they know to go to the Resident Manager with that information should Mary try to mess with them too. Now she can't even report Billie for punching her without getting exposed as a blackmailer.
    • Finally after trying to out Ruth as an alchoholic after blackmailing her and said blackmail lands Ruth in the psyche ward, she gets punched in the face by Billie and finds out the entire dorm can't stand her.
  • Obviously Evil: No one who spends much time with Mary doubts that she's a horrible person. When Billie tells everyone in the dorm how Mary blackmailed her and Ruth, no-one is surprised. Some had even guessed.
    Rachel: (to Grace) What's your ballpark figure on how many puppies she's murdered?
  • No True Scotsman: She doesn't consider Robin a true "family values" candidate because she comes from divorced parents and is unmarried at 30, which Mary considers "conspicuous."
  • Red and Black and Evil All Over: Her color scheme tends to favor these colors. (Contrary to her character image above.)
  • Small Name, Big Ego: Mary sees herself as kind of a big deal among the residents. In her first interaction with Malaya, she claims to be the one running the show, and that Ruth is R.A in name only.
  • Smug Snake: She seems to think simply having blackmail material makes her invincible. Too bad for her she's not exactly a master manipulator; her attempts thus far have embarrassingly blown up in her face.
  • Straight Man: Her limited non-asshole interactions with people consist mostly of bemoaning the wacky nature of the setting and the rest of the cast. Comes to a head when her attempts to study clashes with Carla's distracting antics.
  • Tautological Templar: Mary doesn't even get what little sympathy comes with being a Well-Intentioned Extremist. Her interactions with Ruth and Carla prove that she only cites her so-called moral high-ground when it serves her own interests. For example, no matter what her beliefs regarding same-sex relationships, Blackmail is not the Christian way.
  • Unholy Matrimony: Has somehow found a boyfriend as obnoxious and holier-than-thou as her, to her floormates' disgust.
  • 0% Approval Rating: No one on the floor likes her, and when she gets socked by Billie for trying to turn her against Carla despite the fact Mary's blackmail led to Ruth getting into a bad enough state that she's in the hospital no one stands up for her. She also doesn't appear to have a single friend among the student body.

The son of a pastor that Joyce meets at a college party. A date rapist and an all-around terrible person.

  • Adaptational Villainy: Ryan in the Walkyverse was hardly a nice person by any stretch of the imagination, having manipulated a much younger Ruth into having sex with him and then moving on to his next "conquest", but here he's an outright attempted rapist.
  • As the Good Book Says...: Is quite fond of quoting Bible verses, which is what he uses to make Joyce believe he's a nice guy.
  • Attempted Rape: Tries this on Joyce, but luckily Sarah's there to stop him with a baseball bat.
  • Bait the Dog: He introduces himself to Joyce speaking Bible verses and treats her with respect. This is all part of his plan to get her alone and attempt to drug and rape her.
  • Big Bad: He is the main antagonist of "Yesterday Was Thursday", and he continues to remain at large for 6 books afterwards.
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: If you didn't know anything about him, he'd seem like a perfectly nice guy, since his true nasty personality only comes through when he loses his patience.
  • Blatant Lies: When asked to clarify a Bible quote sent to him by his mom.
    Ryan: Just some random thing about, y'know, Jesus.
  • Bullying a Dragon: He knows that Amber / Amazi-Girl can kick his ass, and still thinks a knife is all he needs. Needless to say, he bit off about fifty times more than he can chew.
  • The Bus Came Back: He makes his first real appearance (as opposed to a nightmare or fear hallucination) after his debut arc as a DeSanto supporter during one of her rallies.
  • Didn't Think This Through:
    • Parts of his plan fail due to this. He sent Joyce off to get friends to play games with them while he drugs her drink, not anticipating her actually gathering a bunch of drunks. Revealing his true nature to Joyce and attempting to drag her away with eyes on him didn't exactly go well for him either since it got him scarred by Joyce and beaten by a bat wielding Sarah.
    • He falls victim to this again when he decides to hunt down Joyce and her friends, after a brawl with Amazi-Girl. He's ecstatic when he finally confronts her, ready to overpower her with a knife. He fails to consider that maybe the superhero who chased him down might be all too willing to fight back.
  • Dramatic Irony: The Bible verse his mother sent him, 2 Corinthians 11:14, reads: "And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light." This describes Ryan to a tee.
  • Evil Counterpart: Joyce warns The Casanova Joe that Ryan is him taken to his logical extreme.
  • Faux Affably Evil: The mask of the pleasant pastor's son slips off when his patience wears thin.
  • Good Scars, Evil Scars: When he finally shows up again in person at the end of Book 6 into the beginning of Book 7, it's revealed that the wound he sustained from Joyce smacking him with her glass ended up scarring.
  • Hypocrite: Quotes "you reap what you sow" at Joyce, eager to get revenge on her for hurting him. It doesn't seem to occur to him that the quote applies to him for everything he's done.
  • In-Series Nickname: Following his attempted revenge on the girls he blames for his troubles, he is now known as Druggo McStabbed.
  • It's All About Me: Yes, how dare Joyce defend herself from a potential rapist?
  • Jerkass: Entitled, misogynistic, and absolutely vile in his every scene.
  • Karma Houdini: Double subverted. He gets smashed in his face with a glass and hit with a bat for his actions, only to escape any permanent consequences.
  • Karma Houdini Warranty: His luck finally runs out when he makes the mistake of threatening Amber with a knife.
  • Knight of Cerebus: The first truly horrible character to appear in the strip, whose actions have heavy repercussions on Joyce's psyche.
  • Knife Nut: After tracking down Amber and Dorothy, he aimed to stab them, then go after Joyce next. Unfortunately, he chose to take on Amber first.
  • Manipulative Bastard: Easily picks out Joyce from a crowd as an easy mark and quickly figures out what will gain her favor. At one point, he has her hold "his" drugged drink and then distracts her enough that she forgets where she got it and starts drinking it.
  • Nothing Is Scarier: To Joyce, in a way. The fact he's still out there with no idea where he could be terrifies her.
  • Plot Armor:
    • He manages to somehow crawl away from a huge crowd surrounding him without anyone noticing until he's long gone, then when he returns manages to get away from Amazi-Girl and Sal, manages to sneak away again without either of them noticing until he's long gone, while taking Amazi-Girl's phone and deleting the photo of him while fleeing, and even accumulates three Dawson "goons" and a getaway driver somehow.
    • Later when Dorothy tries to ask Robin about her interns (of which Ryan was one) to try and find out more about Ryan, Leslie immediately has Robin leave before she has a chance to answer and refuses to let Dororthy leave to find out from Robin.
    • His luck finally runs out when he confronts Amber and Dorothy at knife-point and receives a swift and painful lesson about the intricacies of Amber's psychosis.
  • Real Name as an Alias: He later admits in Directory that Ryan is his middle name.
  • Slasher Smile:
    • Gives Amazi-Girl one when she thinks she's incapacitated all of his goons, only for Tyler to grab her from behind.
    • Then he gives an even bigger one to Amber and Dorothy when he pulls a knife on them.
  • Small Role, Big Impact: Officially appears in only two arcs (three if you count his appearance at the very end of Book 6), but his actions hover over Joyce's college life.
  • Stalker Without a Crush: Several background shots show him tailing Dorothy, Walky, and Joe.
  • Wham Line: Come to find out his name might not be actually Ryan.
  • Withholding Their Name: He has been keeping his first name a secret from someone. Either his friends who called him Ryan, or Robin's campaign team.

Family Members and Relatives

    Blaine O'Malley

Amber's father, and one of the most despicable characters of the comic. His name seems to allude to legendary Irish pirate queennote  Gráinne "Grace" O'Malley: this may be just a coincidence but wouldn't be atypical for David Willis.

  • Abusive Parents: Amber was deeply traumatized by him during her childhood.
  • Adaptational Villainy: His abuse of his wife was upgraded to physical in the Dumbiverse, not to mention the fact he outright abandons his son in a huff.
  • Archnemesis Dad: He is more than willing to take the extra step necessary to make his daughter's life miserable. The extra step in question being kidnapping Danny in order to lure her out of the campus to teach her a lesson.
  • Ascended Extra: His original incarnation was more of a background threat only appearing a few times to directly interfere with Amber's life with most of his role being confined to the trauma he inflicted pre-series before dying offscreen. Blaine is much more of an active threat in DOA and has had much more of an onscreen presence than in Shortpacked. He's easily one of the comic's biggest antagonists.
  • Ax-Crazy: Willing to kill 9 people just to get out of paying for Amber's tuition.
  • Big Bad: He is the main antagonist of "The Only Dope For Me Is You", and later begins acting as the Greater-Scope Villain.
  • The Bus Came Back: At the end of "Faz is Great", he reveals that he isn't through with his daughter yet.
  • Didn't See That Coming: He only agreed to pay Amber's college tuition instead of alimony because he never thought that Amber would actually go to college.
  • Drop the Hammer: When he re-enters the plot, he threatens to kill Mike using a ball-peen hammer and continues to use one as a weapon later on. Mike requests to be killed with something less-hilarious-sounding.
  • Freudian Excuse: He's a walking one, explaining Amber's anger issues both by genetics and his abuse.
  • Greater-Scope Villain: While he can't return to the campus himself, he's been making movements to try and influence things so as to get revenge on Amber, more specifically Amazi-Girl, and is attempting to involve other former antagonists.
    • He sends Faz in to try and get whatever information he can on Amber and her friends, and Faz manages to steal a flash drive from her laptop.
    • He approaches Carol Brown and her church as they attempt to raise money to bail Ross MacIntyre out of prison after he brought a loaded gun to the campus, kidnapped his daughter Becky and gunpoint, and engaged in a high-speed chase with Amazi-Girl, offering to help finance them.
    • He approaches Asher hoping to get Asher to be his "in" to the campus since he's pretty much unable to return.
  • Hate Sink: Unsurprising, seeing as he was one back in Shortpacked; Blaine is abusive, controlling, ill-tempered, and cruel. Notably, while Linda, Carol, and even Ross are driven at least in part by some parental affection (even if that affection is misplaced or simply twisted by their own selfishness), Blaine is up-front and unambiguous about his despicable nature to the audience at all times.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: He agreed to pay Amber's tuition instead of alimony, in the belief that she'd never go to college. You can guess how ''that' turned out. He's currently trying to find a way to get Amber to drop out so he doesn't have pay anymore.
  • I Reject Your Reality: His kidnapping plan is based entirely on his assumption that Amber is a coward who will easily cave to his demands to drop out of school. This is after he’s been called out and beaten to hell by her twice- once as both Amber and Amazi-Girl. At this point, his self-serving memory is less “bad judge of character” and more “absolutely delusional.
  • It's All About Me: Blaine's in it for no one but himself. He'll screw his daughter out of an education if it means he doesn't have to pay for it, and eventually reveals that he had no intention of getting Becky back for Ross, having lied just to get his cooperation.
  • Jerkass: He cheated on his wife, beat said wife, tried to impose his authority on his daughter by being downright abusive, kidnapped his daughter's boyfriend in order to use him as leverage over her, and is definitely not above beating his daughter personally. He also admits that he agreed to pay Amber's tuition instead of paying Stacy alimony because he didn't think she'd actually go to college.
  • Knight of Cerebus: One of the absolute worst characters in the series (as well as the franchise) to date. He later becomes the first character to straight up murder someone.
  • Manipulative Bastard:
    • Got close to Danny, faking concern for his daughter, in order to lure Amber into a trap.
    • Later, he does the same to Ross in order to get their help in his revenge scheme.
  • Motive Rant: He reveals to Ross that his reason for antagonizing Amber is because he agreed to paid for Amber's tuition under the condition of not having to pay alimony, except he wasn't expecting her to actually go to college. So now he's trying to force her to drop out so he won't have to pay a dime.
  • Murder Is the Best Solution: Mike catches you sneaking up on a party? Kill him. Ross derails your plan by letting Amber off the leash? Kill him. Have a bunch of hostages that know who you are and are now useless? Kill ALL of them.
  • Never My Fault: Tries to kill Ross for releasing Amber from her bindings, claiming that he ruined everything for him. The whole front Blaine was using to get Ross to work with him was claiming that he'd get Becky back for him, and he stated that Amazi-Girl would bring her to him. Amber just claimed that she was Amazi-Girl. Blaine should already know how gullible Ross is (Amber is telling the truth, but still.) Ross may have committed the act himself, but Blaine really should have seen this coming.
  • Not So Different: A flashback shows him trying to claim that about himself and Mike. At the time, Mike disagreed, but the Breaking Speech Blaine delivered to Amazi-Girl when beating her up caused him to reconsider that.
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: Blaine worries very little about maintaining his supervillain disguise, with a predictable result of Becky scheduling a release of his name, address and plan on Twitter before trying to turn herself in.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Delivered one to his daughter, many years ago... While completely diminishing the threat represented by someone wielding a weapon:
    Blaine: So, that was it? Just some stupid punk with a knife. A knife. She took your little friend and you hid in a corner and did nothing. Why am I not surprised?
  • Seven Deadly Sins: Barring Envy, he's guilty of almost all of them, befitting his Hate Sink nature.
    • Greed: Tried to get out of paying alimony to Stacey by offering to pay Amber's college tuition instead, believing she wouldn't actually go, and is now trying to force her to drop out so he can stop paying. He's also helped launder millions of dollars for the mob with a fake carpentry business.
    • Gluttony: Again, laundered millions for the mob.
    • Lust: Cheated on his wife.
    • Pride: Wants to get revenge on Amazi-Girl for beating the shit out of him.
    • Sloth: Tried to avoid paying any money following his divorce.
    • Wrath: Beat his wife when his cheating was discovered, threatens violence on others at the drop of a hat, and tries to MURDER Mike when he caught him in the middle of his plan with Ross. When Ross screws up his plan, he immediately tries to murder him too.
  • Small Role, Big Impact: He only appears in three arcs total, but is entirely responsible for how Amber is today and his kidnapping Danny to lure Amber out leads to Danny finding out her secret identity.
  • Smug Snake: Nowhere near as smart or intimidating as he presents himself to be. His "plans" mostly boil down to threatening people into doing what he says, and somehow thinks he can do that to Mike, even when he couldn't so when the latter was a child. He then proceeds to let Mike walk away when he's already made his intentions clear, with Mike informing him that he's calling the cops as soon as he's too far away to be attacked or chased.
  • Stupid Evil: The entire kidnapping plot was not only a disproportionate mean of getting Amber to drop out, it escalates to murder-by-ballpeen-hammer and falls apart because of multiple unforced mistakes on his part.
  • Too Dumb to Live: He's so certain that people will do what he says that he makes some very foolish decisions.
    • Letting Mike walk off after he catches him and Ross stalking Becky's party. He really should've known personally that Mike wasn't afraid of him.
    • Really, Blaine? You're going to leave Ross (who you know first-hand is gullible) alone with the hostages after Amber claims that she's Amazi-Girl? Despite claiming otherwise, what happens next is on his shoulders too.

Amber's stepbrother, who lives with her father.

  • Bound and Gagged: Gets tied up by Dina after he won't shut up and leave.
  • Casanova Wannabe: He tries to hit on Dina. He ends up tied up and handed over to Ruth.
  • No Social Skills: In Joe's words, he has the "social graces of an incel subreddit".
  • Perpetual Smiler: Just like his Walkyverse counterpart.
  • Skipping School: In his second appearance, he turns up at the college when he should be in attending classes elsewhere.
  • Smug Smiler: He's constantly smiling, and Joe describes his face as "so smug it could power a dozen coffee-houses".
  • The Thing That Would Not Leave: Won't leave Dina alone until she has to actually tie him up and hand him over to Ruth.
  • Third-Person Person: Refers to himself as Faz.
  • Vile Villain, Laughable Lackey: He's like a kind of sidekick to his father. While Blaine's one of the most seriously portrayed threats in the comic, Faz is completely played for laughs with his weird behavior and lack of social graces.
    Ross MacIntyre

Becky's father, whose head looks like a giant toe (according to Dina). And as it turns out, that pretty much describes his intelligence.

  • Abusive Parents: Verbally, emotionally and physically. He seems to view Becky more as an extension of himself than a person - anything she does that deviates from her defined gender role is an insult to his role as head of the household.
  • Adaptational Villainy: His Walkyverse counterpart was a giant asshole, but otherwise harmless. This Ross is an insane zealot who brings a rifle to a college campus with the intention of murdering Dina, then later Joyce and Becky if Becky didn't come with him, kidnaps his own daughter, and drove his own wife to suicide.
  • Alas, Poor Villain: Despite doing a lot of horrible things out of homophobic crusading, Joyce couldn't help but break down crying over someone she's known her entire life dying in front of her.
  • Arc Villain: He is the main antagonist of "To Those Who'd Ground Me".
  • Bait the Dog:
    • Ross is an idiot and prone to more comic relief than other significant antagonists like Ryan and Blaine. He's easy to lead around at first until he comes back armed and takes his daughter back through force. His stupidity has a very dangerous edge to it as he continually puts himself and his daughter in danger.
    • Ross does clearly love his wife and Becky and when he says Becky is all he has left it's one of the few, if only times, that he comes across as sympathetic. Immediately after that, however, it's shown just how twisted this affection really is as he's a control freak who can't stand Becky changing too much.
  • The Ditz: Believes all of Dina's Blatant Lies, up to getting on a one-way bus trip to Indianapolis, thinking that it goes to the mall, without checking himself. He also proves extremely easy for Blaine to manipulate through his extreme zealotry and fundamentalism.
  • The Dragon: When Blaine reenters the plot he recruits Ross as his central henchman. Though he acts as Ross's main enforcer his conflict with the heroes is fairly limited and in the final battle he's mostly fighting Blaine.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: His partnership with Blaine well establishes that he's the Lesser of Two Evils.
    • He initially hesitates to kill Mike for running off to alert the police, thinking that he's just a boy, until Blaine appeals to his tautological views. Even then, he is still reluctant to actually go through with it, claiming that he's just bluffing.
    • After kidnapping several members of the cast, the first words out of his mouth are to ask if they're all okay.
    • He seems to be aware that Blaine is a nasty piece of work, and is only cooperating with him because he's his best shot at bringing back Becky.
  • Evil Counterpart: To Joyce's father. While he too is a die-hard Christian fundamentalist, he is able to accept Joyce's growth away from that system of values. When Becky does the same, Ross goes off the deep end.
  • Fantasy-Forbidding Father: Ross is adamantly against everything that doesn't fit his fundamentalist views. That include "Pokémans" or technology, such as cell phones.
  • The Fundamentalist: And not the nice kind. Anything but, in fact. This is a man the Westboro Baptist Church would tell to dial it back a bit. He is implied to have driven Becky's mother to suicide.
  • Hate Sink: Utterly loathsome and meant to be despised. That said, Blaine is proven to be far worse, and the other characters feel sorry for him when he dies.
  • Heteronormative Crusader: He considers Becky's soul at risk if she even begins to think outside his beliefs, and is willing to impose those beliefs on the rest of the world via rifle.
  • Killed Off for Real: He bleeds to death after Blaine bludgeons him with his hammer.
  • Knight of Cerebus: Blaine and Ryan were no angels, but Ross takes the drama to a new level when he shows up.
  • Knight Templar Parent: Everything he does comes from a desire to protect his daughter from what he considers to be "evil". Everything he does is also fucking horrible.
  • Lethally Stupid: Played for Laughs at first but later played much more seriously. Ross is a moron that's easily lead around and tricked but he's also armed and violent. This is best shown when he engages Amazi-Girl and leans out of his car to shoot her an action that not only nearly makes him fall out of his car but also could have caused an accident that would have gotten his daughter and him both killed.
  • Made of Iron: Not only did he survive getting bashed in the head with a hammer with enough force to draw blood, he got up and attacked Blaine in retaliation. Unfortunately, his rush of adrenaline runs out, and he bleeds to death not long afterwards.
  • Never My Fault: Even after bringing a rifle onto a college campus, kidnapping his daughter at gunpoint, assaulting her, getting chased down by Amazi-Girl in a car chase, and punched out by Joyce, Ross shows zero remorse for any of his actions when Becky tearfully visits him in the hospital and tells him she wants their family back.
    Ross: Look at me. You've destroyed our family.
  • New Media Are Evil: Implied to hold this view with his statement on "Pokeman" putting a person's soul at risk. (For reference, he's commenting on Dina's Triceratops hoodie.) It's later shown that he believes local Cable News to be the only truthful source of information beyond the Bible.
  • Shadow Archetype: Ross represents the kind of person Joyce could've grown up to become if her friends couldn't break her out of her sheltered worldview.
  • Stupid Evil:
    • He really doesn't think his plans through. Thankfully that also means he's caught thanks to Amber, Joyce, and Sal before he can get too far with Becky.
    • This also means that Blaine is easily able to manipulate him into becoming a pawn in his plan to force Amber out of college.
  • Tautological Templar: His world view is pretty simple: either you are a good fundamentalist Christian (read: on his side), or you are an evil human being destined to burn in Hell. If you get in his way, he'll even send you there himself. This is how he justifies allying with a mobster and a literal domino-mask-wearing supervillain to Joyce.
  • Too Dumb to Live:
    • It is not wise to discharge a weapon on a college campus, especially not in the 2010s.
    • When Amazi-Girl jumps onto his car, his reaction is to let go of the wheel, lean out the window and try to shoot her. This might have indeed killed him if Amazi-Girl hadn't thrown him a rope.
  • The Unfettered: Nothing will stop him from taking his daughter back home, even if it means kidnapping her with a gun, in the middle of campus, in front of her friend.
  • Unwitting Pawn: After Blaine bails him out, he manages to easily manipulate Ross into helping him in his plans for Amber and her friends.
  • You Have Failed Me: Blaine bashes him in the skull with a hammer for letting Amber out.

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