"There's somebody up there," Archie whispered down. "It's probably the crooks. We're going to have to wait till they leave."
Oh now Archie finally realizes that the people talking up above are crooks. He could have realized that, you know, the last time he entered the tunnel, like two chapters back. Of course, if he had, he wouldn't be back in the tunnel again, and the story wouldn't drive forward.
Or maybe it would. In this case, Archie's idiocy is ironically the reason he was able to rescue Amanda. Imagine if he hadn't gone back to the tunnel though. He might sit around with Billyhank, thinking, "Well, gosh darn! Amanda got kidnapped by the jewel thieves in the news! I wonder where she is?" He might revisit the tunnel anyway simply on a random hunch and then be shocked to realize that the jewel thieves were responsible for the jewels the three of them had found earlier.
Come to think of it, Archie has yet to acknowledge that the jewels he and Billyhank found came from these particular jewel thieves. Sure, he recognizes that the voices he heard earlier belong to the jewel thieves mentioned in the news, but he never mentioned that the jewels he'd found came from them. I wonder if he still doesn't know.
Anyway, Captain Dumbass and the only remotely sympathetic character in the book stand and listen for the people to leave, but give up since it seems to be taking forever.
Yeah, they stop waiting for the bad guys to leave because they got tired of standing on the ladder, not because they think the bad guys will enter the tunnel and find them. It had to be the dumb reason, not the smart one.
"There's another way out," Archie replied. He told her about the other tunnel and the entrance into the garage. "We'd better try it now," he urged, "because they're going to find you missing from the crate soon, and then they'll come looking."
"Alright," Amanda said, "let's try it."
I might make some comment about how Amanda became Archie's new Yes-Man in the absence of Billyhank, but in this case, Archie actually is the one who has the knowledge and, uh, expertise needed to escape, so it makes sense.
However, I wonder about that sentence: "He told her about the other tunnel and the entrance into the garage." I mean, a single sentence of dialog would be all it takes. How long did Archie stand around explaining? Minutes?
They head to the other tunnel and the other trapdoor, but it doesn't open. Not even when Archie jiggles it sideways.
"Frustratingly" is not meant to be used that way, said the liveblogger meanly.
They head back to the original exit, hoping this time the coast will be clear.
Gifford Bailey expands our vocabulary! The word today is "discontinuance".
Also, I didn't know something could suddenly remain the way it was. Since the book says there wasn't a discontinuance of the vibrations or voices above, I'm guessing it suddenly became quiet rather than remaining noisy.
I am loving these matter-of-fact descriptions. Is this an adventure book or an essay?
After that, more time is measured in minutes. Archie climbs up the ladder and puts his ear up right next to the stone slate. I should have requested an illustration of that, because I think that would look really awkward. He then waits for a "minute or two". He climbs back down and says to Amanda that they'd better wait a little bit more, just to make sure.
Now satisfied, they decide to head out. Archie gives Amanda his flashlight, and just then, they see a glimmer of light coming from the other end of the tunnel. Probably someone coming towards them, so they climb up quickly, move the stone slate out of the way, and get out.
Billy, hiding behind a bush, jumps out and greets them.
"Skip it!" Archie interrupted, with desperation in his eyes. "Those guys are the jewel thieves, the crooks!"
"What? The crooks?" Billy said, looking confused.
Archie is not the dumbest character in this book. Billyhank is. Billyhank serves as little more than a Yes-Man for Archie who has almost no opinions of his own, totally follows his lead, and almost never knows anything Archie doesn't. He exists solely for Archie's purposes. For all the stupid that Archie does, Billyhank just follows along or waits for Archie's wisdom before doing anything of his own.
And here, we see that Archie learned that the jewel thieves are the kidnappers and are here right now. Billy hadn't learned that on his own, and is confused when Archie tells him the painfully obvious. No matter how dumb Archie is, he's still the leader, and still the smartest of his group.
"How the heck did Amanda get down there?" Billy asked.
"The jewel thieves are the kidnappers too! Remember?"
"Oh! That's right!" Billy said. "I forgot!"
Like I said, Billy has to be dumber than Archie, however that happens to be possible. And Archie, you are in no position to chastise Billy for not knowing the obvious.
I'd think the smart thing to do would be to also kick down the ladder, or if it's possible and if time permits, to pick it up. Both of those would slow the crooks down even more.
Archie, Billy (minus Hank, who is home nursing an injury), and Amanda run across the yard until they reach the backyard with the Doberman pinscher. But the dog is nowhere in sight. So they hop the fence, and suddenly hear a man yelling behind them.
Assuming his speech is actually stopped at all those commas and exclamation points, I could hardly imagine him sounding less threatening.
"Bald-headed" is what little kids say. The correct term is "bald". And of course he saw the three of them climbing the fence to get away! Really, both the dialog and the narration constantly state the obvious.
"Nothing doing!" they all yelled back to him.
Wow. Archiebillyamanda all have the exact same dialog. Did they really all say the same thing at the same time? And how come every single character in this book sounds elderly? Is the author writing the way people spoke in TV shows in his childhood, and totally unaware of how dialog has changed since then?
The man chases them, and gets closer and closer. And this leads to the least plausible scene in the entire story. Yes, more implausible than literally anything that came before.
"Yikes!" Billy shouted. "Here it comes!"
The threesome turned around to look behind them as they reached the fence. Right them, they saw the big Doberman pinscher appear behind them. But the threesome had already begun climbing the fence to the next yard, and were safe. So, instead, the dog sprinted directly for the pursuing man, who was now only about fifteen yards behind. The man stopped and froze in horror. Then, in one swift motion, the vicious dog leaped up on him, driving him backward and biting him ferociously.
What. The. Hell?
No, seriously, what just happened? Archie took off the wristwatch that only spawned into existence in the last chapter so as to serve as a reason for him to return to the tunnel, and now it's used to summon a dog from inside a house? The dog immediately attacks the bad guy, no less.
How positively perfect. This watch is quite the Deus ex Machina, providing just what is needed to progress the plot forwards and help our heroes not once, but twice.
How did the dog leave the house? Where did it come from exactly? How did Archie have the aim to throw it at the window? How did he know this would happen? The one time Archie does something smart, it's something impossible that defies the laws of physics.
"Hey, the guy who kidnapped Amanda is in pain! We need to help him!" "Great idea, Archie!" "Yeah, it's so nice of you to show compassion to the guy who kept me stuffed in that crate all helpless and immobile for hours!"
They soon reach Archie's house, and Archie rushes inside to tell his mom what happened.
As for Archie and Billy, they were immediately summoned to police headquarters for questioning, regarding their finding of Amanda.
No indication that Archie is in trouble for having done any of the things that he did, like taking the inflatable boat from the house and riding it across the river to the graveyard to get the combination for the lock in the tunnel, or any of the other dangerous things that he did. He's just a hero now.
And it needs to remind us that there are three more crooks? We know that from when we first overheard their dialog. Their names are Sluggo, Happy, Lefty and Boss. This book keeps assuming the readers have no memory, as if the readers are as dim as Archie himself.
And the chapter ends. One more to go, and then I'll put up my final, in-depth thoughts on the book!
Billyhank hive mind dialog count: 17
Archiebillyamanda hive mind dialog count: 1
Times Archie's wristwatch saved the day: 2
Crushing something on someone's head count: 5½
Total victory celebration length: 2 hours 52 minutes
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