Alright, so to recap, a midget gives two hard to tell apart twins a magic wand which they lose in their evil aunt’s backyard. When they grab it, they meet a gravedigger who has no name and thus is given the name of a Super Robot pilot, who becomes Mr. Exposition. We shall hear the rest of his exposition now.
So we resume with Agatha, who is so evil she relishes in it. Seriously, you can tell the actress is just loving the role she’s in. Back to Simon, he exposits how after the Witch from 2,000 years back was burned at the Stake, her Moonstone was safely hidden away. Two twins, who look exactly like the Olsens (so that the casting agency doesn’t have to do painstakingly long casting calls for another set of twins), set off to find it so that they can wish they would no longer be twins. Huh, guess they were as marketable as the Olsens and wish not to have that popularity.
But, one of the sisters, Agatha, stole the Moonstone for herself and used it to torture her sister until she decided to trap her inside the house. Simon then exposits that the only way to break the spell is to have a virgin light a candle... DAMN IT! Okay, so he says about how to break the spell... and I could swear he says “What’s an incantation” along with one of the Olsens. Was that an error? Or is it supposed to be like that? I’m going to play the “takes every error and tries to make it look like the writers did it on purpose and make it sound clever” card and say that Simon knew that the Olsens were going to keep asking, so he said it ahead of them.
Simon: I shouldn’t even be speaking of such things! The shadow world is all around us! I could be carried off to the dark side of the moon!
Oh how Hilarious in Hindsight those two sentences become. So now that he ran out of exposition, Simon leaves. Aunt Agatha continues to show us that she is a pretty bad person by playing Kick the Dog on her niece and nephew-in-law. The Farmers leave as per Agatha’s bitchiness, and I think the father is seen giving her the finger. At least that’s what I want to believe he’s doing.
And as if that isn’t enough to prove us she’s the villain, Agatha then talks with Sophia and confirms that she did indeed seal her in a mirror and that the hole dug in the ground earlier was meant for her once the seven years are up. Yeah, if it’s midnight, then the curse she put on Sophia becomes permanent. Leaving Sophia in an And I Must Scream position. Y’know, FOR KIDS!
Back with the Olsens, they talk about having nose jobs and tattoos. Okay, there’s this b-plot going on that the twins don’t wanna be twins anymore much like the twins before them and it’s obviously gonna set up some Aesop about how it’s okay if you’re the same and how being twins is awesome. And we get some Rugratsian humor in which the father says that Agatha is a witch (in the context of her being a bitch) and the Twins concluding that she is a witch (in the context of her being a Wicked Witch). I dunno, that was pretty funny to me.
Then some guy tries to play the Insurance Fraud game from Saints Row. Nah, this is just a guy who wants to wash windows for any kind of reward... Except for Pears Pineapples, he hates Pears Pineapples. Also, I think I am getting Gruntilda vibes from Agatha now... I can so set some of her scenes to Gruntilda’s songs...
We end the part with the Twins finally getting that Simon was telling the truth and that Rossiu lied. Welp, tune in next time for more of this 90’s vehicle goodness.
