Welcome back my friends, to the show that never ends...until ten chapters from this one, that is, when it will end.
For now, let's take a look and see whether Tara has decided to use Reverse Psychology and thank all of the preps for flaming her and giving her bad reviews, acknowledging that they're the salt of the earth and that she couldn't write a coherent sentence—let alone a coherent story—to save her life.
Oh well, maybe next chapter.
Wouldn't something like boots come up to her knees, whereas a dress would go down to them? Is she upside down and is the dress—I mean drsss, my bad—one of those Magic Skirts that keep flying off the shelves?
Should I ask what that second to last sentence means? Did he use something other than his hand?
"Ok." I said in a deprezzd voice. I had wanted to fuk Draco or maybe lessen to MCR or Evonezcence. I came anyway.
She's deprezzd, poor thing.
Oh, she's feeling flirty now, never mind, false alarm. Ibony (as she's called now) is also flirting with a guy old enough to be her father. But, she doesn't want him to flirt back, because if he does then that makes him a pedo. (Even though Wikipedia says that at 17 she's above the age of consent in 39 of 50 American states and is also legal in Scotland, which is where the Potter books take place. Insane Troll Logic much?) So what is she doing, exactly? Why am I wasting time analyzing this crap? Let's see what happened to Snipe and Loopin...
I laughed evilly.
What a statistic thing to do!
By Vampira, does she mean Vampire, by which she means Harry? Or is this some new character?
See, it's this kind of stuff that makes it damn near impossible that this is anything other than a Troll Fic, because there is no way—NO FREAKIN' WAY!—that even the most incompetent writer in the history of language itself could take a name like "Sirius" and somehow turn that into "Sodomize" without trying to.
He is, of course, moaning this statement sexily. Let's see how she reacts to that.
She wuz drinking some Volximortserum.
I guess she doesn't care about Sodomize's sexy moaning. (Which, come to think of it, is A Good Name for a Rock Band.) Maybe if he moaned sexier.
In other news, the good Professor seems to be making progress, since she is drinking Volximortserum, which is clearly different from Voldemortserum as we can see from the different name. I'm going to assume that Volximortserum is like methadone to the heroin that is Voldemortserum. Good to see the prof getting her life back on track!
"Enoby, you will have to do anozzer session now. Also I need u to get me da cure 4 being adikited." she said sadly. "Good luck. Fangz!"
I still haven't figured out what in the blue fuck a Pensiv/pensive/pen-sieve is here. HELP!
And wouldn't there be a cure for her addiction in the present day? Why does she need to go back in time for one? Exposition is your friend, Tara!
Elipses would mean I would drink here if I were playing the drinking game for this update.
So she goes back in time and finds her mouth filled with Count Chorcula? Time travel can make things appear in your mouth unexpectedly? This implications of this are troubling, to say the least.
I'm taking this to mean that the rest of the pieces of Count Chocula in the box are mourning their departed brothers and sisters, who are currently traveling down Ebony's gullet.
A portent? How do you drink a a phenomenon that is believed to foretell the future? If this is a typo (and I know it has to be), then what is the intended word?!! Usually I can translate Tara pretty well, but this time I seriously have got no idea...
"Oh, datz Profesor Slutborn." Satan said. "He▓s da Portents teacher...Ebony?"
Satan doesn't seem too surprised that she just materalized next to him out of thin air with all of that cereal in her mouth.
"Did u know dat Marylin Mason is playing in Hogsemade tonight? And they r showing The Exercise at da movies b4 dat."
No, Marilyn Manson is not playing there, it's THE FUCKING EIGHTIES STILL. But yeah, The Exorcist had been made, so unlike so much of the rest of this story, that part's plausible.
"Well...want 2 go 2 da contort and da movie wif me?"
I hop she doesn't go 2 far!111
And that's how it ends.
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