(with the All-Stars, they watch in horror with what just happened in the last installment. Their friends, fighting against them, though it's out of their control. Because...)
(as Maithunder prepares for the next round, she halts when Mao's voice echoes out of the stone)
Mao: GUYS! ARE YOU THERE?!
Ryota: M-Mao?!
(eventually, all the other Scouts' voices echo out)
Tori: Please...help us...
Xander: I didn't wish for this to happen! We gotta get back to our bodies!
Xandorungle: Who said you'll be returning? No matter what, you will die.
Xander: Not if I have anything to say about it, you plant-obsessed freak!
Matoi: What's...going on?
Sean: Radiguet...he—
(then Seakire's eyes glow, and a powerful surge comes out of the stone, silencing the soul)
Seakire: Quiet, ya.
Matoi: ...
(he looks at Jason)
You think it's more than mind control?
Jason: Oh, yeah. Which means we have to work harder to save our friends!
(the All-Stars then defend themselves against the Fallen Scouts' attacks, each one more vicious than the last...)
(with Rika...)
Rika: ...I'm starting to realize that right now. Have I been going insane this entire time?
Tranza: Rika, it's because of that fanfic and Radiguet's plans...why don't you ever rest?
Rika: Why? Because...it's part of what I do. I'm a critic, focusing on the good and the bad...but...
(she sighs)
I gotta press on. And hope for the best.
Previously, nothing that important happened. Seriously. So let's continue with...
(flip!)
Chapter 32: The Teacher Family Sentai
We open with the guys relaxing in the hot tub. Among those are Cole (damn it!), Jayden, and S!Takeru. Cole decides to get to know everyone else a bit more, since Aka Red is pushing him towards greater power. Though, really, what else is there when he already has a shitload of Red Ranger powers at his disposal?
Oh, and are you ready for this? Houka's in there, too, albeit invisible. As some of them state the obvious (and Jayden also stating that he's no Samurai...dude, really?), Cole senses Magi Pink, and after he splashes some water to reveal her, the guys decide to get her.
So it's like the whole Spike and the girls thing, only gender-flipped. And you know what this means!
...actually, wait, no. Before we get to that, we cut to the ones chosen for the Fiveman mission. And they are Magi!Kai, Agri, Moune, Cassie, and Joe. Gokai Blue here tells about the revamped Legend War, and Magi!Kai, Agri, and Moune talk a bit about the Fivemen. About the only important thing to take from this scene is that, with Antonio and Genta, someone stole their jellyfish!
(cue dramatic music)
Spoiler alert: it'll be used to create a monster.
With Houka acting very OOC, her actions cause the detention alarm to sound off once more. You know the drill by now: Houka runs away from the men as she also taunts them, but then, Sakura and Jasmine stop her. Cole then arrives to do the same thing, and Jasmine tells Houka that it's time to go to the detention center, ending the "friendship".
...
(Rika headdesks)
And it gets worse. For sudden wardrobe malfunction for the guys, and no, I am so not liveblogging it.
So let's skip to the scene where the two girls relax in the hot tub, talking about their incident with Houka. Sakura is reminded of that one other incident. You know, the one where Cole barged in by accident. And...oh, sweet merciful crap.
- Jasmine: "That's great. Twice in a row. No more than two chemistries... it's going three. So… is he your boyfriend now? I hope you get over Satoru soon. You know those two incidents make me think, aha, you two are destined for each other. I've been ES Pering him and you're still in his righteous lion heart. Cole and Sakura sititing in a tree… K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love then comes marriage…"
FOR FUCK'S SAKES, JASMINE, SHUT THE HE—
- Sakura: "ENOUGH!"
...and she dunks Jasmine's head into the tub. THANK YOU! Seriously, that's the one thing I can praise, that Sakura has had enough of Jasmine's matchmaker bullshit just as much as everyone else.
Jasmine tells her that she's concerned about Cole. Yes. Concerned about...gah. Sakura tells her that she won't be in a relationship with him. So what will Jasmine do? Pair Satoru up with another girl. What a bitch!
In the Director's Office, J!Ryu takes Aya's place temporarily. And what does he do? You guessed it, he punishes her by sending her to the rock piles. At the same time, he decides to free Ban and Sosuke from their punishments, since, as you know, they are on their good behavior. And he reveals a lot more information than it really requires. The scene ends with the rest of the Magirangers, including Hikaru, dragging Houka to her punishment.
...
Really? You can't really do that...neither is just berating her for what she did. I...I can't retract ground on this one. But I will say this. This, according to Akizuki, will be the last time the Detention Center punishment would be shown. However, it would just be implied instead. Well, isn't that fucking nice!
(in the battle, Natsuki tries to talk to Dan/Dankuroi, Tori/Tocean, and Xander/Xandorungle...)
Natsuki: G-guys, can you hear me?
Tocean: Try as hard as you can. You can't get to them!
(her eyes turn blue, and she strikes at Natsuki with a tidal wave again)
Natsuki: EEK! (she is hit)
Saya: Natsuki! (to Tocean) That's it. You're going d—
(Xandorungle ensnares Saya with some vines, and by using some powerful energy, it causes Xander to scream in pain, feeling that he's vanishing bit by bit)
Jason: ...I think I know what's going on! The guys...
(he then explains his theory on what happened to the Scouts)
Matoi: So they're trapped in this nightmare, but they can't do anything about it?! That's horrible!
Jason: "Nightmare" is putting it mildly. It's like hell to them...we can't give up, though!
Maithunder: Not if we have anything to say about it!
(the second phase of the transformation occurs, and all six of the fallen Scouts are starting to become less human. They all become bulked up, with the exception of Makortex, who just becomes lighter and faster; and their elements are growing stronger)
Mao: We'll try to stop them...
Maithunder: SHUT UP! (she silences Mao's soul)
Christopher: That's it! You guys are going too far!
(as the fight continues...Christopher continues to get telepathic messages)
Sean: Chris...
Christopher: <...Sean. You guys...we're trying to do the best we can!>
Mako: We're sorry for attacking you like this!
Christopher: <It's not your fault.>
(Makortex continues to strike at Rin, Alex, and Brittany, but the attacks start to falter a bit due to Mako's "influence")
Alex: ...?
Rin: That's strange, but we can't take any chances. (she strikes at Makortex with the Shinkenmaru, knocking the human/monster down)
Mao: We'll find a way to stop this. Sean? Mako? You two remember the story?
Christopher: <The fanfic?>
Mako: Yeah!
Sean: You mean...exploit the weaknesses somehow?
(Ryota and Maithunder continue to fight, until the latter strikes a series of thunderbolts at not only her host's former friend, but also the rest of the All-Stars as well. Christopher is stricken, but he continues to stare at the forehead stones)
Tori: Chris! Are you okay?!
Christopher: <...yeah. But, guys? You want to weaken the monsters?>
Mao: ...hell yes. We need to grow strong enough to stop the transformation, but to find a perfect time...we'll have to try!
Sean: That sounds...
Christopher: <...crazy enough to work. Okay, guys...I trust you on this one. But be careful! I don't want to lose you guys!>
(Christopher nods, and the All-Stars continue their assault. As for the Scouts...they try their best to have their souls escape from the stones and back into their bodies, but to no avail)
Rika: So we arrive at the Fiveman world, where we see the titular heroes in this area, the Hoshikawa siblings—Five!Gaku (Five Red), Ken (Five Blue), Fumiya (Five Black), Kazumi (Five Pink), and Remi (Five Yellow, and yes, she's the same lady who once got drunk on water-turned-booze...executing a Drunken Fist attack, too, to boot!). After a scene of them musing about Zone, and another bit of Magi!Kai's team leading the fray...
...we get to Vulgyre. Where Chevalier and Garoa are bickering. Now, before I continue, I will need to point out that we have yet another "Sentai Warrior actor later plays a villain" thing. This time, Chevalier is played by Kihachiro Uemura, aka Dai/Green Flash in Flashman (remember me covering that little "tribute"?). And yes, this entire thing does happen quite a lot in Super Sentai.
Of course, this entire thing not only doesn't happen there, but also Power Rangers as well, only...the Ranger actors voice a Monster of the Week. I've always found that to be interesting, not only because they all have a chance to play against type, but crazy, cracky crossovers do happen with this sort of thing. It's always awesome.
But anyway. Ahames and Giluke show up, to the dismay of Zone. Yes, we have another one of those "past villains are unhappy with U.A.O.E showing up, but they strike a deal" scenes. The important things to take from this? First, by combining a jellyfish and a flea, we have our Monster of the Arc—Jellyfish-Flea Gin. Secondly, Garoa and Chevalier are forced to work together, much to the former's unhappiness.
...because that always worked.
We go back to the New Town School, and Ahames talks to RINO. It also turns out that aside from the monster, Buredoran has created a special lotion that will not only cure the itch, but it has the side-effect of having them obey.
Because that...yeah, I have no idea.
...I think I'm really losing my touch. Is the fanfic sucking so hard that...whatever kinds of sarcasm I can muster, I'm just...delaying the inevitable?
Tranza: Rika, don't say that!
Rika: Well...I didn't do a good job at snarking lately. Plus...I feel so weakened the more I continue on...
...
(Rika sighs as she watches the fight going on)
And it doesn't help that this bullshit's happening. I wish I would be able to just snap them out of it myself, but I think they'll likely kill me before I have that chance.
(Rika then looks at the tablet)
The one liveblog I gave up on was worse than that one, and it just defied what I couldn't and could liveblog. Here...
Tranza: Rika...you're almost there. While I still think you should take breaks, after this one, you'll have three chapters left! And who knows what will happen between the Scouts and All-Stars?
(Rika nods)
Rika: You're right. I mean...yeah! I can't back out now.
(she picks up her tablet)
So where were we? Oh, yes. As Garoa and Chevalier bicker, the Jellyfish-Flea Gin releases fleas that also sting. Try wrapping your head around that one. As that happens, in the school, the kids start to itch, and there's a big-ass trailer with the anti-itch "lotion". Buredoran's team disguise themselves as humans, and they promote the "UAOE Anti-Itch Lotion".
...and they totally buy it, figuratively and literally. I swear to God...if there's one thing I've learned in Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie, it's this: when you see something that's kind of ominous (or at the very least, bear a villain organization/villain name itself), don't you think it's a smart idea to, you know, stay the hell away and try to find other cures?
Also, why does this entire villain idea remind me of what Ivan Ooze did to the parents of Angel Grove?
(Rika shrugs)
Magi!Kai's team notices the line, as well as the lotion. Before they stop the villains, they have a chat with the Fivemen. That is, until Garoa and Chevalier crash the party. This surprises Five!Gaku, and the two villains reveal Jellyfish-Flea Gin, now nicknamed "JFG" because I'm lazy as hell.
The Fivemen and Magi!Kai's team transform into their forms, and the former team faces off against JFG. You know how this goes, too: the monster uses the fleas to make the Fivemen itch as well, only for Moune, Agri, and Magi!Kai to help them out. The villains retreat, but for right now, it's still a victory, for the children will turn against the Fivemen.
(Rika drinks)
(in the fluffy cloud heaven, Aka Red, the Phantom Ranger, and the Sentinel Knight watch over what's happening)
Aka Red: ...if the Scouts die...
Phantom Ranger: No. That's not a possibility. Sentinel Knight?
Sentinel Knight: Yes?
Phantom Ranger: ...what's the likelihood that they'll survive through this?
Sentinel Knight: I don't know. But from the looks of things, not very well.
Phantom Ranger: Is there a chance to intervene?
Sentinel Knight: Unfortunately not. However, if the worst does come, there's still Limbo. We could have the Scouts reborn into new bodies and, therefore, new identities...
Phantom Ranger: I don't wish to use it, unless if we have to.
(the three continue to watch...)
(back to Rika...)
Rika: The next day, the kids are recovering, until they turn into zombies. Eeeeeeep. They have pale skin, and...they have laser beams?
(Rika looks at the audience)
Okay, just how the hell did they even gain laser beams? I mean...I don't even think it was said anywhere in the story!
And this normally-scary situation is killed even further with more moments where we, as the audience, are treated like idiots. Take a look for yourself.
- Ken: "It seems like the school is zombified."Five!Gaku: "What the? The children are zombified."
And that's not counting the damn narration. You know...I'm really realizing that I'm also not much better in the whole "stop repeating yourself" department. Hm...
Magi!Kai arrives to help the Fivemen, who try to talk some sense into the kids shooting laser beams. The former tells them that they have to escape, and they do, with the Time Train. Yeah...
At the Vulgyre, Chevalier and Garoa bicker some more, and yes, it actually does get tiring. However, this time, it's to either kill the Fivemen outright or torture them first. Even JFG agrees with Chevalier, adding that they need to provide the itch.
...didn't you already provide the itch a few scenes ago?
Vulgyre, in the form of Empress Meadow, decides that since the two are bickering like kids, they won't take a part in the mission anymore. So what does she do? Send in Billion's team. You know, that sort of thing that should have happened in the beginning!
Cut to the Fivemen, who are still itching, yes. They know that they can't use the bottle of the anti-itch lotion, lest if they become zombies themselves. Also, some electrical discharges are coming out of the rashes.
Eww.
Arthur G6 enters, worried about the situation. And this causes Cassie, Agri, and Moune to talk about, even briefly, the robot. Uh, isn't there something important that needs to be taken care of now?
Thankfully, Magi!Kai has the solution. He knows just the right people to call. Also, he has a bottle of the lotion. Wait, how did he get that? We haven't seen him obtain one!
I'm sorry for being very nitpicky, but with all those conveniences, it just feels so contrived.
Ranru and Billy are being called, still being their bland selves; and while the entire city's falling into the itching epidemic, the two brainy Rangers arrive to find the antidote. What is it? Well, we're not being told of that, but it does cure the Fivemen. At this point, the teams decide that the Fivemen will battle the monster once again, this time wearing anti-itch armor, and the others will face Buredoran's team.
(in the battle, the All-Stars continue to strike back at the Fallen Scouts)
Alex: Come on...(he slashes at Makortex, who just blows him away)
Makortex: I love it when my prey's weakened! Now to finish you off!
Rin: Not a chance! (she defends her friends, and she looks at the forehead stone)
<Come on, Mako...>
(and then, in the middle of the third stage of the transformation, the Fallen Scouts roar in pain)
Matoi: What's going on?
Christopher: It's the Scouts. They...!
(Seakire, with his entire body wreathed in flame, clutches his head, and he looks at the Scouts with a mixture of his voice and that of his soul's...)
Sean: Guys...
Christopher: S-Sean?! You guys are...
Sean: We're trying to...break free—
(then Seakire is trying to beat himself up, as if he's trying to destroy the soul)
Seakire: Shut up!
Mao: The more the transformation goes...the more determined we are to take our control back! As ridiculous as it sounds—
(Maithunder is just doubling over in pain)
...you guys will need to weaken our former bodies.
Ryota: F-former?
Mao: Yes...
Ryota: ...
Christopher: ...they're really serious about this.
Sean: We'll try to stall the transformation as long as we can!
Ryota: Guys...good luck. (to the All-Stars) You heard them! Let's go!
(with a renewed sense, the All-Stars fight more. As it turns out, Radiguet either didn't really plan for the stones' hold against the Scouts' souls to weaken as the transformation goes by, or he anticipated it in order to still kill them)
(Rika pauses)
Rika: ...I think it's time once more to summarize the entire mess, because there's just so much plot holes and stupidity that I can take.
- After transforming, Magi!Kai's team finds Buredoran's team, and the former tells the latter to stop, causing the villains to shed their disguises. Ew. And so, the villains call the children to attack them, which happens.
- For the Fivemen, they beat the usual Mooks until they face JFG. The fleas don't work against them, as expected, so what does the monster do? Release toxic blasts in order to dissolve the heroes. Uh...
- Back to Magi!Kai's team, the parents arrive, and they hold the kids. With the Power of Love, this causes Buredoran to break, Cassie to press her Berserk Button, and the team beating the shit out of Buredoran's team. This breaks the spell...and the parents get their refunds. Which, now that I think about it, may invoke some "funny" imagery like the parents beating the shit out of the villains and getting their money back.
- To the Fivemen, they can't beat the monster, until Magi!Kai's team helps out against JFG. The teams then did the Five Ball attack, confusing the monster and destroying it...
- ...until the Gorlin absorbs JFG, causing it to turn into a giant monster. The Fivemen use the Five Robo, but that isn't strong enough. Neither is calling for Star Five to form the Super Five Robo. Five!Gaku calls for the Magmabase, and as it flows into battle, it forms the Max Magma, which I admit is one of the coolest names for a Super Sentai mecha ever. With a perfectly-aimed Max Diamond, it finishes JFG off.
...whew!
At the U.A.O.E, RINO does what he always do: punish Buredoran's team for their failures, and he dismisses them after that. Buredoran thinks about the usual: taking over the U.A.O.E. Also, Tranza and Long laugh.
(Rika laughs as well) I'm sorry, but that last bit just killed the mood.
And so, this chapter ends with the children reunited with the parents. This causes the two teams to muse about their own family, especially the Fivemen, who are concerned about their father still being alive somewhere. Magi!Kai tells them that it's best they don't know for right now, and it ends with his team leaving.
...this chapter proved that things can get even worse. And so, join us next time as I face off against what can possibly be the worst chapter out of this entire mess of a "crossover".
(Tranza nudges to Rika)
Tranza: Rika. Take a look at the fight...it's almost to an end.
Rika: Really?!
(the two watch...)
(...then, on that moment, the six Scouts snap back to reality long enough to delay the final transformation. Their changed bodies have taken so much damage, just as they planned...)
Saya: Are you guys okay?
Tori: Barely...the monsters really are giving us a hell of a challenge!
Xander: Yeah, and I don't think the girls would fall for me, looking like this!
(everyone stares at Xander)
What?!
Sean: This is not the time. We'll need to focus, and then, after that, you can start thinking about—
(but then, the monsters try to take back control...)
Ryota: G-guys!
Mao: All-Stars...defeat us. W-with your strongest weapons. Your strongest moves! It's the only way!
Brittany: Are you sure?!
Mako: Y-yes! Otherwise...we'll be gone forever...
(The All-Stars realize what they have to do. As the music plays during the final part, the heroes prepare themselves...)
Dan: We can't hold out much longer!
Sean: Are you ready?
(the All-Stars nod, and with a final burst of willpower...)
ATTACK US! NOW!
(Ryota nods, and he performs the Gokai Blast and Slash at Mao/Maithunder. Natsuki uses her Earthquake attack to stun Tori/Tocean, Dan/Dankuroi, and Xander/Xandorungle, only for Saya to finish them off with a Petal Dance-infused Starbeast Sword Technique: Flower Heart. Alex uses the Fire Smasher to weaken Mako/Makortex, and Rin and Brittany team up to perform a special Heaven and Earth Dance attack, which is somewhat the same as it was before; this defeats their enemy. Finally, Matoi and Jason, with their respective firearms, shoot Sean/Seakire, and Christopher prepares the Spiral Saber)
Christopher: Sorry to do this to you...
(with one powerful slash from the saber, his friend falls. All six of the Fallen Scouts become unconscious...)
Natsuki: D-did we save them?
Saya: I don't know.
(...and then, the Scouts revert back to their true human forms, the forehead stones falling off and crumbling, no longer having any power. This causes the All-Stars to sigh in relief...)
(...until Radiguet crashes the party by appearing in holograph form)
Radiguet: So...
Alex: Radiguet! Were you really the one who caused our friends to attack us?!
Radiguet: Of course! I'd like to have a little entertainment before you face off against me!
Ryota: ...this is truly unforgivable.
Radiguet: Don't give me any of that nonsense. I'd like to congratulate you for making it this far. However...
Brittany: ..."however"?
Radiguet: ...you will never see the Scouts alive again.
All-Stars: WHAT?!
Radiguet: I saw how they bravely gave their lives up. What they didn't know was that, when you attacked them while they took control...not only did they defeat the monsters, but with your help, they also killed themselves.
(the All-Stars are in shock, and cut to Rika, who is just so completely devastated...then cut back to Radiguet)
We'll now see how you'll fare without them. I look forward to our next battle, All-Stars! And then, I'll make sure you'll follow the Scouts with your own deaths!
(with a laugh, Radiguet disappears. Ryota falls onto his knees, and then, most of the All-Stars mourn the Scouts' deaths)
Will the All-Stars pick themselves up and defeat Radiguet? What will Aka Red, the Phantom Ranger, and the Sentinel Knight do with the Scouts? And will Rika survive the next chapter?
Emergency Signal; Now, Forward! To the next liveblogging of Super Sentai vs. Power Rangers!!
Comments
