Rika: Welcome back, y'all.
Previously, on Super Sentai vs. Power Rangers, Adam showed up, the villains didn't defeat J.A.K.Q, and we got some hints as to who AkaRed's fusee will be. And those are the more important shit.
Tranza: Why do you put yourself through this?
Rika: Hey, I liveblog the bad and the good. And so we move on with...
(click!)
Chapter 8: The Feverish Battle
...you did stock up the booze before this, right?
Tranza: That I have. (he shows a caseful of sake)
Rika: Brilliant.
So we begin with Adam reuniting with the other Rangers in the New Skybase. Tommy still can't believe how his friend showed up, and Adam tells Tommy what we already know.
(Rika cracks open her second bottle of sake, and she sips)
Also, more Department of Redundancy Department statements.
- Adam: "I was watching a Korean DVD of Power Rangers and that's how I ended here in this strange new world where I'm a stranger also."
Uhhh, no shit? In fact, I'm honestly getting tired of also saying, "oh, God, this dialogue's getting repetitive!" So I'm making a new rule as I go. Take a shot when...
- There are Department of Redundancy Department statements.
...I think I may give my readers alcohol poisoning the more I make up these rules. So it's best to not drink alcohol. In fact, do some water, or Kool-Aid, something.
And yes, Adam meets human!Zordon, and yes, talkings were had. Adam will become Zeo Ranger IV once more. That's pretty much all that we can take out of.
In fact, considering that there's a loooooot of talking, I may summarize the scenes from now on. Maybe.
(Rika sips)
Also, Adam's a cook now. Uh...
So, we get to the part where people are chosen for the Battle Fever J mission. For those of you who don't know, this is where the Super part of Super Sentai truly takes off, since they introduced, among other things, people piloting giant robots to the franchise.
And who are those people? Zach, Kimberly, Takeru, Genta, and Souta. And Takeru's the leader, feeling weird that he's leading people older than him.
(Rika scratches her head)
More talking, more food-tasting. Yeesh. And then we go to U.A.O.E, the year 1979, the Battle Fever J world! Trakeena and Long are trying to work with the Egos cult, with RINO giving them leads. What's their mission? Steal the team's giant robot and give it to Egos. And how are they going to do that? Plant traps, lure the robot, and then snag it.
As for what traps they are, I have no idea, either.
Also, Flurious is shining RINO's boots...which is seen as karma for all the bad shit he did to Norg. I have to admit, I'm honestly confused, did Akizuki hate Overdrive as a whole? Like...to the point where he wrote a chapter with the Overdrive Rangers dying?
...because with shit like this, I have no idea what's going on in Akizuki's mind.
So after the humiliation there, we go back to the Battle Fever J team—Masato (Battle Japan), Kyousuke (Battle France), Kensaku (Battle Cossack, before he was killed off), Shirou (Battle Kenya), and Diane (Miss America before she was wounded). As we see them on patrol—wait.
- Masato: "No sign of Egos as of right now. But we can't be too sure."
...didn't that get repeated? From another fucking chapter?
- Tsuyoshi: "There's no sign of Black Cross anywhere but we can't be too sure about it."
Oh, my God, they actually did it. Yeah, they swapped some words around, but fucking still! Why did you repeat that?!
(Rika spouts off random Angrish, until she calms down)
Gotta stay strong.
(Meanwhile, Tranza watches for any signs of despair)
So Takeru's team and, later, the Battle Fever J team see a portal, and out comes Trakeena and Long. The latter team expressed surprise upon seeing the new enemies, and the battle goes exactly what you expected.
- The Battle Fever J team is easily knocked aside.
- Takeru's team morphs and beats the enemies and Mooks into submission, forcing Trakeena and Long to retreat.
Yawn.
This battle gives most of the BFJ team (because I like to use acronyms. Why? I'm so fuckin' lazy) morale...but of course Kyousuke is distracted by Kimberly. Okay...so how many men are going to be distracted by her over the course of the story? None of them even well-written?
At the Egos headquarters, Satan Egos talks to his lackeys, Salome and Hedder, about the mysterious villains. Then Long and Trakeena show up. They talk more, and the latter villain shows a cigarette lighter. Why? To create a new villain. And they do so, and what do they come up with?
Lighter Monster. Which rips off Heat Man in Mega Man 2. I am dead serious.
(Rika takes a deep breath, and she drinks)
So how much more laziness can I expect in this story?
Tranza: I don't know...
(even he is really concerned over the amount of stupidity that's shown)
(while Rika takes a break, Jason ends up reading parts of the fanfic)
Jason: ...I just don't really understand it.
Mao: And what the hell did he mean, "Gokaiger isn't canon?!" (she is not happy at all)
Ryota: Maybe this fanfic can give us a clue as to who kidnapped Rika...
Brittany: Yeah! We gotta keep reading, guys!
(everyone continues to read the fanfic, and the Red Ranger/Warrior actors take note of AkaRed)
Sean: Who's he?
Jason: AkaRed is the embodiment of all the Red Sentai Warriors, able to transform into each and every single one of them.
Sean: Seriously? (he's rather amazed) That power actually exists?
Jason: Yeah. Apparentally, it's stronger than our Hidden Powers.
Rin: What's a Hidden Power?
(Ryota tells Rin what a Hidden Power is)
We really have...?!
(Ryota nods, and everyone continues to read. Unknown to them, someone is about to make its statement very soon...)
(Back at the lair, Rika regains her composure)
Rika: All right, let's do it.
Back to our heroes, Takeru's confused about the "puns". Me, I don't really see it as "puns". I see it as coincidences. But that's just me.
The two teams talk about where they come from, the stuff they have in the past and future, stuff like that. Also, Zach shows the team an iPhone.
PRODUCT PLACEMENT KITAAAAAA!!!
(Rika coughs a bit after doing her Voice of Dramatic)
Tranza: ...could you not be so loud next time?
Rika: Hey, it had to be done.
So Kyousuke tries to chase Kimberly, only to punch him. Meanwhile, Takeru's all alone, looking at the iPod and thinking about Mako. How she's the woman for him all along.
(Rika makes a gagging noise)
Kimberly and Takeru talk about the U.A.O.E, and we end this scene with a portal showing up.
(she then sighs, as if she's ready for the hurt that is to come)
Back at the present Sentai year, Supreme Commander Ryu notices the portals increasing, and he orders Hoji and Tetsu to basically scout for any criminals appearing in the portals. And Tetsu mentions something about Billy and Ranru creating portal detectors.
(Rika then gives a Slasher Smile)
But you don't want to hear about that, do you? You want to hear about that. Yes. The moment where this story goes straight to Hell. The moment where there really is no hope. The moment where everything changes, where innocence is lost, and all sanity is gone. As mentioned before, did you know that Akizuki has a huge crush on one Red Ranger? One that makes my own look so damn subtle by comparison?
(Tranza is scared, but he listens to Rika)
With that in mind...let's...morphin'.
Tommy receives a message from AkaRed, and the mysterious being lets him know that he has finally found his fusee. He will appear where his friends will protect the past. Tommy tries to stop the being, but he vanishes.
And, ladies and gentlemen, who will be AkaRed's fusee?
- T.J.: "Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I got baked into a giant pizza?"
Nope.
- Andros: "I will never stop searching."
Nope.
- Wes: "We are Power Rangers, Eric! And friends or not, we're the only hope this city has right now!"
Nuh-uh.
- Carter: "Joel, you are such a hot dog!"
(Rika bursts out laughing)
Yeah, never in a million years. Neither him or his counterparts.
So...(she sighs) After the Author's Note, we see a man in the bathroom, ready to take a shower. And we're described to him in every loving detail. Also, this man? Not only is he a helper of a wild life project in South Korea, but he also took part in a fighting tournament. And yes, he won.
When he takes his shower, the man thinks about the dreams he had last night. And what were those dreams? Taking part of a giant-ass battle, and saving the world. Also, something about a lover, a Japanese girl in a cherry blossom field.
After being told of his jobs (yes, jobs), he decides to relax some more and train. Still thinking...well...
- AkaRed: "Looks like I found the one I am looking for. That strength, that body… the purity of his heart- all the attributes are present in this young man. That is him."
(Rika is completely mortified when she sees this)
...
...............................
................................................................................
AkaRed is a fucking creeper! I mean, WHAT THE FUCK?!
Oh, and by the way? AkaRed's fusee? The man we saw? The man who has a shitload of accomplishments? The man who thought about his dreams, the vision of that Japanese girl?
Yes. That's right. He's none other than Cole Evans.
(Rika is absolutely broken)
Tranza: ...hm. (he smiles, seeing Rika broken, until she turns to him)
Rika: Tranza. Get the fucking booze now. I'm about ready to flip my shit.
(Tranza gives Rika exactly what she wants, drinking, quelling her anger for now...for now)
...so. I will say one thing. Cole as the fusee of one of the most powerful Sentai Warriors could have been interesting. Could have been fucking interesting. (drinks) But with every single damn fucking mention of his hawtness, every mention of how OMGSOPOWARFUL he is, every single positive mention that he doesn't deserve...
(Rika downs the sake in one gulp)
Suffice to say, it makes my obsession towards Carter Grayson's actor look fucking subtle by fucking comparison! And that's not good, Akizuki, that's not good at all. Seriously, why the hell would you choose him, really? To prove how much you love him? To focus on the shallow attributes, and not him as a character as a whole?
...oh, my God. Tranza. Is there a wall that needs a new coat of red?
(Tranza scoots Rika closer to a wall)
Thanks. (she slams her head into a wall)
(five minutes later...)
Now I'm done.
So...ugh. AkaRed, being an absolute dumbass and not knowing when it would be a good time to open up a portal, opens up a portal, anyway, while Cole is not even clothed.
...
I think it's time to just summarize the entire mess before I flip my shit any more.
In the BFJ world, Cole runs into hilarious hijinks with people either being disgusted, women fighting over him, or people treating him as some sort of god or some shit. Then Hoji and Tetsu, on patrol, notice Cole walking around, and they arrest him, thinking that he may be a pervert or something.
But just when things look straight-up embarrassing, Trakeena and Long appear. The former was planning to get Cole's DNA for...something. Hoji and Tetsu henshin and fight, with Sen joining them. During the fight, the heroes retreat, deciding to call their fellow friends for help.
Also, I'd like to note that, for some inexplicable reason, Cole isn't blatantly mentioned as speaking Japanese. Maybe either Akizuki finally realized that having all the Rangers speaking the language for no reason is straight-up stupid, he's trying to make Cole into some sort of god, or...whatever else.
(Rika shrugs)
Don't you just love it when continuity gets fucked around with?
Meanwhile, the BFJ team and Takeru's team head to the center of the fight, and Kimberly sees Hoji and Tetsu. Takeru explains to her that they're there to...well, it's already been explained already. And so, a fight occurs after the police car vanishes. Trakeena and Long are almost defeated until Lighter Monster shows up, and he fights against the heroes.
Also, Trakeena somehow collected some of Cole's DNA. Somehow. And I don't even know how she got it.
After Trakeena and Long retreat, Lighter Monster continues to fight. And we're told numerous times that the trap will be sprung.
(Rika facepalms)
We get a scene of Gai and Rei scouting the area, and they deliver some good news to RINO. When they teleport, Trakeena and Long are happy they're gone. Well, that was irrelevant, NEXT!
At the end of the fight, Takeru and the BFJ team finish off Lighter Monster with their attacks. Then Lighter Robo shows up, and you guessed it, the Battle Fever Robo fights against it and wins.
...buuuuuuuuut then the trap is sprung, chaining the robot down. And Takeru's team states the obvious.
Finally, in Egos' lair, Trakeena and Long let the group know the plan worked. And so, this chapter ends with the duo forcing the BFJ team out of their robot, teleporting Salome and Hedder in. They wreck the city with the mecha, and the heroes decide they have no choice but to flee.
...
And, why, yes, kids. The worst is still to come.
Will Rika be able to regain her sanity and snark? Will our All-Stars find out who's the culprit? And will the story not suck for once?
Emergency Signal; Now, Forward! To the next liveblogging of Super Sentai vs. Power Rangers!!
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