Garfield: Quickie
Jon decides to trick Garfield into jogging with him. Jon goes up to him and says he was going to challenge him to a race, but his girth would make a snail a challenge. Garfield looks like he's taking the bait. They go to the starting line (the front threshold), and... Jon makes a great start! He's in the lead! ...Which isn't surprising as Garfield didn't leave the house; in fact, he shut the door behind... and locked it. Jon starts pulling on it, or pushing, depending on what side you're on. (Also, this is obviously a toon locking mechanism; though it seems to be a standard door, the hardware isn't beside the knob, which is apparent when the it bulges in or out.) Lesson to be learned? You don't have to outrun what you can outwit. Garfield lies back down to sleep.
("Friends Are There")
"Maybe not as funny as pro wrestling, but a lot more realistic."
Garfield: Fraidy Cat
It's a darkish and stormy night. Garfield is watching a horror movie on TV. A man is warning Allison about the monster, a creature that will eat anything and not be satisfied. (No, it's not the cartoon's title character. He doesn't eat raisins, Jon's experimental cooking, or cheapo cat food. But it is a good cue for him to appear onscreen.) He tells Allison to stay close to him, so she'll be safe. Jon says he has to go get groceries. He tries the old "wave the hand in front of the unresponsive character's face" thing, to no avail. (Does that ever work in fiction?) As he leaves, he says he'll be back soon, but wonders why he's wasting his voice. He leaves... the door ajar. (The door's orientation has flipped since the Quickie...) The man tells Allison to come with him. Garfield tells her not to. The man tells her to trust him. Garfield tells her not to do that, either.
Odie comes in, dripping but otherwise cheery. He shakes, and walks farther in, leaving footprints, which certainly won't come up later.
Garfield can't watch. Allison does trust Brett, feeling safe with his hand in hers, his other hand on her shoulder, his other hand— Odie chooses that moment to jump into the chair with Garfield. Garfield jumps as the woman screams, attaching himself to the ceiling. Shaking like a leaf, he tells Odie not to do that. He releases, and land on Odie. He invites Odie to watch Chiller Diller Theatre. (I'd rather watch Phyllis Diller Theatre, myself. I'm more a comedy guy.) Odie accepts, and they set to watching.
The weather adds to the atmosphere. (The troposphere?) The thunder scares Odie, but Garfield reminds him that thunder, like monster movies, can't hurt you. One peal of thunder later, Garfield is under the cushion, and when Odie locates him, Garfield says to just watch the movie. Allison is pleading with the sergeant to help her, and to hurry, because he's getting closer. I guess they're on the phone. The monster's coming in. It's... a power failure.
After a few moments of confusion, Garfield figures this out, and tells Odie not to be afraid. Cue the wind blowing the door open even more and lightning illuminating the muddy footprints on the floor. Garfield notices them, and thinks they look like they belong to an unearthly creature. Odie looks at his own back paw. (Say, how did ol' Two-Toes there produce three-toed prints?) Garfield closes the door and has Odie help him barricade it.
Jon drives up. He's probably ready to get his groceries, and himself, in out of the rain.
They get a dresser in front of the door, and Garfield looks for a flashlight within. He goes looking through the house for Jon. He's not in the bedroom or the kitchen. Garfield speculates that they got him. He goes to the refrigerator, realizing that sans power, the food will spoil. Well, can't have that! Jon finds the door stuck. (Well there's your problem! The door can't decide what side of itself to have the knob on! It's been on the left side from both sides the last few times we've seen it!)
Jon pounds on the door, rings the bell, and calls Garfield.
Who has set himself up with a candlelit feast. Speaking of candles, there are candles on the cake there. I guess someone's 7th birthday won't be celebrated with that cake! Odie whimpers. Garfield says he didn't take everything; he left two trays of ice cubes, and, he thinks, the light bulb. He's about to bit into the sandwich when he hears the pounding. He asks Odie if he heard something.
Jon is still pounding. And the doorknob is back on the right side when viewed from the outside.
Garfile thinks it's the monster.
Jon thinks he'll go in through the back, but he hurries and slips in a puddle. He calls for help, which Garfield hears. Garfield thinks the monster got him.
Jon tries to pull himself up with the phone line, but he pulls out the phone line instead.
Garfield tries to use the phone, but it's dead. Just as well, since he wouldn't be able to talk. Odie's teeth are chattering. Garfield says that the monster is outside and has Jon. He makes the mistake of saying, "This is no time to panic." This is the perfect cue for banging at the kitchen door, causing Garfield to reassess.
Jon thinks Garfield must be asleep.
Garfield speed-eats bananas for their peels.
Jon then remembers the Key Under the Doormat. He unlocks the door and enters... right after Garfield unloads the peels in front of the door. Jon slips on one, sending him sliding across the kitchen floor and crashing into something. Garfield comments on the ghastly sound the monster made. He decides to tie it up. He thinks it's too late for Jon, but they can stop it from getting others. He starts tying Jon's ankles... then he hears Jon's voice saying his name... Garfield reassesses; since he can still hear Jon, maybe it's not too late...
Then the lights come back on, and Garfield finds that the "monster"... is Jon in a raincoat! Gasp!
Jon is incredulous that they got so caught up in the movie as to think that the events were real, but he stops mid-scold and just sends them to bed. Garfield concurs. Jon sits down to watch, wondering how they could believe...
Garfield is in bed. Odie approaches, afraid to sleep alone. Garfield lets him in. He hates it when Jon's right, but has to agree that being afraid of monster movies is silly. He figures no one big gets scared by them. Cue Jon asking if there's room for one more and trying to get in the bed already himself. Garfield reassesses things again. Another peal of thunder prompts Jon to get fully in, and Garfield to pull the covers over, and everyone to tremble.
Orson's Farm: Quickie
Roy is walking along when Booker skids up to him and gets his attention. He leaps up in the air and swats him, announcing that he's "it", and sprints off. Roy takes off after him. Sheldon runs up a board laid on a rock, then at just the right time, jumps so that when he stomps on his end of the board, Roy is on the other end, sending him flying through the air and into a mud hole.
Orson runs up, asking if he's all right. As Roy sinks into the mud, he tells Orson to come closer, for he has one last thing to say... he leaps up and tags Orson, announcing that he's it, and runs off laughing, leaving Orson with clenched teeth.
Orson's Farm: Shell-Shocked Sheldon
Part of the barnyard has been set up with a baseball field. (I can't wait to see the crops!) Orson's pitching, Wade's the catcher/umpire, Booker's in left field, Sheldon's in right field, and nobody's ma— er, animaling any other position. I suppose you could say that the chicken coop and the garden right beside it are in center field, with the back fence not too far out.
Roy's at bat. Wade urges Orson to strike him out. Roy says there's no chance. Orson pitches... and Roy connects! I don't know if it's sillier that Orson tells Sheldon to catch it, or that Sheldon thinks he's got it. I know! It's that Sheldon is expected to play any position other than "fan"! The expected result, that of Sheldon being boinked on his shell with the ball. Booker, having rushed to right field in preparation for the inevitable, catches the bounced ball and throws it to Wade. It bounces into his glove, but Wade has covered his eyes. Roy runs into him. When the dust clears, the situation is decidedly unclear. Wade declares him out, but Roy contends that he's safe. The two basically have nothing to say other than that, but they say it a lot.
Booker goes up to Sheldon (who's still wobbling a bit) and tells him he should've had it. ...How?! His sole appendages are his footéd legs! If they had set him up with some sort of glove attachment, or just made some sort of house rule that if it hits Sheldon's shell, that counts as him catching it, maybe, but they did neither of those things, and still expect him to be useful in a game of ball? Is this an allegory for what happens when you put the differently abled in positions they're not suited for without special accomodation? Sheldon points out the obvious problem with expecting him to catch things, at any rate.
Of course, the main difference is that Sheldon never hatched beyond letting his legs out, i.e. he actually has functioning arms which he uses to do things inside his shell, so if he would only hatch, he could use them, whereas someone without functioning arms (or without arms at all) would have to have arms built for him and some means of controlling them, or do things with other parts, or just accept that there are some situations where his own body trumps the aptitude he would otherwise have.
Anyway. Orson tells Sheldon he can't stay in there forever. Sheldon questions this. Booker asks if he doesn't want to get born. Sheldon read the newspapers. (He can see through an apparently opaque shell. Maybe it's like those sunglasses with the designs on the outside that look like they should completely block your vision...?) He figures he's safer in there. Orson sings, extolling the world outside his shell. Part of this song, sung as Orson swims through flowers, misses the demonstrated fact that Sheldon can see. And feel air currents, which is to be demonstrated. Orson spouts an apparent tautology, but it manages to tip Sheldon over to the other side of the fence, so to speak. He decides to be hatched. Wade and Roy walk by, still shouting "Out!" and "Safe!" at each other.
The three approach the hen house, and starts to ask which one of them will sit on Sheldon until he hatches... but the henhouse is empty. Sheldon takes that as an opportunity to change his mind, but Booker insists, tired of his brother being an egg with legs. Orson finds a note explaining that they're on strike, being tired of working for chicken feed. (Their joke, not mine, but I would like to add that it sounds like n-egg-otiations are in order.) He tosses the note on the floor. Orson tells Sheldon that there's no one there to sit on him. Booker tells Orson that there is; Orson asks who it might be, as the only one big enough is him, and he's... going to sit on him.
Sheldon gets into position, and Orson sits on him. Sheldon comments on the warmth. Orson takes a quick song break to wonder what he'll look like, and even what he'll be. (I kind of thought "chick" would be the default for a chicken egg, but...) He polishes Sheldon's shell until he can see his reflection, thinking that maybe Sheldon will look like him. He sits on Sheldon again, who asks if he's trying to scare him. Orson frowns at this.
That night, Orson is extremely bored. After a progress check, Orson decides he's hungry, and leaves his post. Sheldon suddenly feels a draft. After Orson leaves, a fox looks around, and sneaks into the chicken coop, where Sheldon is hoping he's cute. The Fox notes that the henhouse is devoid of its namesake, ya know. He takes Sheldon, even though he "doesn't look ripe". He announces his departure out the back punningly, seconds before Orson passes into earshot with a banana and a cupcake with a lit candle. He's eaten part of the banana, but the cupcake is for Sheldon upon his hatching. Then he notices that Sheldon is not there, and drops the foodstuffs in surprise. Surprisingly, even though he dropped them Behind the Black in a cartoon, they're still there. He starts searching for Sheldon, first under the hay, then in a milk pail, then back under the hay again.
The Fox makes the wise move of not avoiding the duck and chicken who are still having their well-reasoned argument about the baseball game that ended a while back, with the consequence that he is spotted.
Booker pops in to ask Orson is Sheldon's been born. Orson, frantically digging through the hay, doesn't know, as he lost him. Wade and Roy run in, Roy reporting a Fox sighting, and Wade saying that Sheldon's too young to be poached. This looks like a job for... Orson running offscreen and reappearing as: dah-dah-dah-dah, Power Pig!
Power Pig is dressed in an old brown aviatior's helmet with yellow goggles, a blue sleeveless shirt with a red "P" surrounded by a yellow horizontal oval, red-and-white vertically-striped shorts, and a red cape.
He urges them to come and rescue Sheldon. The sight causes Wade, Roy, and Booker to collapse into fits of hysterical laughter. This annoys "Power Pig", who says they'll rescue Sheldon once the laughter has subsided.
Meanwhile, the Fox is in a clearing, trying to decided how to prepare Sheldon. (One option he understandably doesn't cover, but which would be the most logical, given that he's a fertilized egg, would be balut.) Sheldon, sitting in a pan on a stump, suggests saving him for Easter. The Fox retorts that he doesn't get a vote.
The four sneak up on his position. Roy and Wade have decided that trying to sneak up on someone in an attempt to rescue a friend is a good time to continue their dispute... in a whisper, at least. "Power Pig" shushes them, and peeks through some bushes. "A brilliant plan!" They ask what it is, but Orson says it's what they need. He starts trying to come up with one, but Roy has a better idea. He brings Orson up to the Fox and tells him to say who he is. Unsurely, Orson identifies himself as "Power... Pig. Defender of the defenseless." He grins sheepishly. This sets the Fox into gales of laughter. This makes Orson a bit cross... until he realizes that the Fox's laughter has sent Sheldon flying into the air! He leaps out and catches Sheldon in a manner that should've broken him anyway if he was in any danger of that happening. He takes Sheldon back, leaving the pan — and laughing fox — behind. He says they'll get him hatched, and that he's safe. This sets Roy and Wade arguing again, as they all head back.
Day has broken, and Orson is still in costume as he sits on Sheldon. Booker hears him hatching. Orson hops off, and Sheldon says he'll be out in a second, and cracks rapidly form on his shell. Wade says he's almost out, setting them off again. The shell finally bursts revealing... another shell. Booker and Orson jointly express the obvious. Sheldon is resigned to his fate as a poor little defenseless egg.
He leaves the coop, and is not out but a scant few seconds when the Fox nabs him again. This time, however, the "poor little defenseless egg" uses his feet to latch onto his nose, pull on it a bit, and slam him into the ground a few times before spinning around and tossing him into the distance, much to the shock of the others. Sheldon figures there are worse things to be.
Garfield: Quickie
Garfield's sleep on the table is interrupted by Jon poking his head and telling him that he should learn something new every day, to lend purpose to his dreary existence. Jon is going to the store, and he wants Garfield to have learned something by the time he returns.
An hour and a half later, Jon returns, and asks Garfield what he's learned. He drops his non-ISO-Standard Urban Groceries in shock, for Garfield has a hi-fi turntable, a... VCR, I guess?... a TV, a speaker, a pink toy mouse, bunny slippers, a fancy swivel chair, a purple and blue robe, a magenta shirt, a pair of purple and green shades, a box of... detergent? Kitty treats? and a clear white beverage. Six of these items are tagged: "$". The mouse's tag is translucent.
Garfield has learned how to use Jon's credit card.
Garfield: Nothing to Sneeze At
Jon is on the phone, telling Zelda he just had to call her. Apparently, they had an evening together that was particularly memorable for him. Apparently, Zelda asked who he was, so he finds himself giving her his name... and hair color. What she remembers is Garfield. (Did he sabotage their date, either intentionally or because he claims any and all non-raisin food within his range of perception?)
Odie goes up to Garfield, barking. Garfield shushes him, telling him Jon's trying to find a date, which could take years.
Jon asks where she's been hiding all his life. Apparently, his choice of words is quite literally true, and no, I don't use "literally" as an intensifier for "figuratively". Jon asks if she's busy tonight... tomorrow night... some night next week... after the turn of the century. Garfield remarks on the patheticness of human love. Jon tells her to have a nice decade. (And not "Well, Excuse Me, Princess!!") He hangs up and flips through his book. Garfield says he's wasting his time, as he's up to Zelda Zekely. (His flipping suggests that he's not been going through this sequentially, or that he's going in reverse order, in which case, he's barely started.) Garfield sneezes, hence the title. Jon thinks there should be someone, given that he bought a new suit and all. (Well... they don't know about it, right? On the other hand, the fact that they don't should be a point in his favor...)
Oh, that's right! I should describe this thing. It's a yellow jacket with a red grid on it, and a large red dot on each elbow and red buttons. Then there's a pink tie with purple polka dots. Jon asks Garfield's opinion. He leaves, and comes back wearing shades, and asks how you adjust the horizontal hold. He sneezes again. Jon notices that he's been sneezing all day. He starts to hope Garfield's not [[spoiler:coming down with something], but then realizes that he can take Garfield to Liz, and they'll go out, and she'll fall for him, and they'll get married and have kids... Garfield's not particularly happy about his condition being merely an excuse for him to do some premature family planning.
At the vet's, Jon is pulling Garfield, who's tightly grasping the steering wheel. Garfield claims that he doesn't have to go to the vet, and that he just got be—tter? He sneezes, letting go, making them both crash into trash. Garfield thinks they ought to take him' to the vet.
Inside, Liz does notice something wrong with him, a sentiment which Garfield echoes. She checks his pulse and says he has no energy, another sentiment which Garfield echoes. She says she'll have to give him a vitamin shot, a sentiment which Garfield nearly echoes until he realizes, and starts dancing to demonstrate his energy.
While Liz is writing, Jon asks her out. Liz doesn't feel safe around him, feeling him to be potentially lethally dull. He reaches into his pocket, pulls out his shades, puts them on, and starts walking around with his hands out in front of him. While Liz is listening to Garfield's heart, Jon asks if they make him look cool. Then he starts chatting up... the coat rack, as Liz points out. Garfield thinks he might get lucky this time. Jon takes of his shades and starts to claim that Liz and he were made for each other, but realizes how he sounds, and slinks off to stand in the closet, saying that someone like her would never go out with someone like him. Liz reconsiders. Jon does that thing where you respond according to your preconceived notion of what the other person would say, before realizing what the other person actually did say. Garfield explains to us that vets take pity on dumb suffering animals.
Back in Jon's room, Jon is combing his hair and telling Garfield that he can't come along, as they want to be alone, and he's ill. Garfield leaps on him and threatens his tie... WITH DEATH! ("...or the tie dies," he says.) Jon gets him down, but Garfield continues being clingy. He says a raisin-sorting documentary is the only programming on. Jon gets Garfield off, at the expensive of a pant leg. (Thankfully, he lost a pant leg without getting his actual leg clawed.) Garfield remarks that he'll start a new fashion: the "semi-beach" look.
Jon, having put on a different pair of brown pants, sneaks out at night, carrying a pink box of chocolates. He gets into the car, starts it, and drives off. He thinks he's gotten out of the house without Garfield. He thinks Liz is going to be so happy, and wait 'til she sees the box of candy. The lid on it lifts. Garfield is inside. (Hey, it's twice as tall as the pizza box from "Nighty Nightmare" last episode!) He spits out a chocolate like a Deku Scrub, because it had coconut inside. He lowers the lid.
At the restaurant, Liz speculates that Garfield probably has an allergy, and asks what he's eaten lately. Jon lists pizza, lasagna, chocolate pie, stew, lamb, veal, chop suey, a couple of tacos, knockwurst, a pastrami on rye, tapioca pudding, and soup before Liz stops him and asks if he ate all that this week; Jon clarifies that this was today's breakfast. He figures he should have known Garfield was sick when he had no appetite. Garfield sneezes, and Jon gives him an automatic gesundheit. He's about to list Garfield's lunch when he realizes. Garfield asks for a recommendation. Jon says his name. Liz thought Jon was going to leave him home... as did Jon.
Garfield calls the waiter over and orders everything with a side of everything else. Since Jon appears not to be eating his soup, Garfield is willing to finish it. It's not — ACHOO! — bad. (No, Jon is not covered in his soup. I know because they would surely have shown us this sight.)
At the theater, a mystery is playing. Jon is bringing popcorn. (No jacket.) He squeezes past people to get to his seat. (Oh, there it is, draped over the seat.) Liz asks why he didn't get a small. Apparently, it is a small; the large comes in a coliseum. Garfield knows he's allergic to something. One fear: it might be lasagna. He'd survive, but only by sneezing a lot. (Because, despite all the other things he eats, he can't just not eat it!) Liz asks if Jon had to bring him. Jon explains that they'd miss the movie if he'd taken him home first. They're coming up on the part where the detective reveals the identity of the murderer, and Jon wants to hear. Garfield has another fear: what if he's allergic to cat hair. He'd have to shave daily, and would look like a Chihuahua... this word sets into motion another sneeze, a loud one which blows the popcorn out of the bucket and makes everybody in the vicinity miss who the murderer is. This is the last straw for Liz. She says if he can't take care of him, he has no time for her. He's about to urge her not to go, but a light shines in his face. It's a large usher.
Both Jon and Garfield are thrown out in a most literal fashion, landing them on their seats on the curb. Jon blames Garfield, which isn't totally unfair, although one might say that he should've made sure Garfield was better before trying to go on a date. Jon thinks he'll never see Liz again (well, unless she recommends that he change vets...) and hopes Garfield's happy. He is, but probably only because his sneeze is gone.
Just then, the usher pokes himself out the door to throw the jacket on Garfield, saying it's scaring people. This leads to a discovery: Garfield is allergic to some material in the new jacket! Garfield tosses it off, saying it sure looks that way. A bum/hobo/transient/whatever asks for spare change. Garfield hands him a coat, but apologizes for it not being that much better than his current attire. The man, however, seems to appreciate it, and walks off with it. That problem solved, he goes back to moping over his other loss. Except here she comes, having considered that since he loves his cat — he'd have to (her words, not mine) — and since he does love animals so much, he deserves a second chance. He affirms his love of animals. Garfield jumps into his arms, saying that in that case, he'll feed him. Liz decides they can try it another night, and surprises him with a kiss on the cheek, leaving his pupils to spin for a quarter second. Aww. Jon figures Garfield worth having around, and decides to stop for burgers on the way home... but... his car keys and wallet are in the coat! He drops Garfield to go find a bum, leaving Garfield to observe that one minute, they love you, and the next, they drop you. Go figure.
Next time: Episode 5!
