Capter 14
The Parody travesty begins with Linda and the group coming back to school despite still being Goffik Enemy #1. They actually tried to learn (I am not making this up), but Draco (who had been returned from bondage by an unsatisfied Voldemort)was Not Himslef and wuz actin all perverted to the gurlz and lookin in dere dresses frum undernieth. As only she is allowed to act perverted!
Lidna kneew it was naught Draco, and so did Vampire. But then Vampire disapeared in a puff of bad guy smoke, kidnaped by...DUMBLIDOR'S ALZHEIMERS! Oh, no, more Bondage!
Linda gets a panic attack and slits her wrists instead of planning a rescue, but gets better. She then goes to Dracola who was drinking a coca cola. (coca cola roks, fuk u scintists who say itz bad 4 u.) Fuk U too, Linda. Or Not.
But then thu meen lady showd up. And she had a knife! It wuz Joan Huh? , whu sed, "U Must Be a preppy, so sayeth the Preppy!"
And then preppies marched forward, holding up a Preppy Alligator who was a giant alligator and it sang the preppy song that ends the world. Unless it means that the real Harry Potter characters are getting free, this is a bad thing.
But the song did not end the wurld, 2 bad preppiez. So is this.
The alligator was gone and then Lidna kiled Joan with a speer thru the throat. Joan, we hardly knew thee.
Vlodemort apparates inside Hogwarts and says "Thy must slayeth Draccola if thy want to ever see thy Vampyr again, because he is an opposition to mine Sanatos Gambite." Oh, boo hoo, I couldn't care less about your plans, Smug Snake!
Linda knows that Voldemitr is trying to trick her, so she decided to backtrack to where Vampir was kidnapped and hits the floor really hard and opens a trapdoor reveling Vampir...and Vampir!11111111111111!11111111 Oh, no!
One Vampir sed "I am da real vampir poter, look at mi, I slit mah ristz."
The other sed, "No, he is a posser, he is a bad guy!"
Lidna did eeni meeni miny moe to find whu it wuz, and her magic powurz let her choos rite. How Lucky. The second vampire says "Oh curses." and turns into Vanderslout, who launches Abra Cadaver at Linda, who blocks it. The Real Hogwarts characters Boo, especially the Real Mad-eye Moody.
Linda blasts Joran with a "Blast you through a wall spell!" and The evil man was blasted thru a wall. Instead of getting up, he walks away and allows Linda to leave with Vampire to the rebuilt Slytherin dorm.
Then ,Vampire, Linda, Dracola, and a gurl from when Linda was on a bus all did a foursome.
They sexed but then Lidna saw it! Snap was videotaping teh hole thin and Loopin was masticating to it. She sed, "You are nasti pedos!" How did you escape Ebony's wrath?
Linda and her cronies blast down a wall to escape instead of engaging Snap and Loopin in battle. "I am destroyed." Sed the wall.
Lidna and her frends then did cok, crak, maryjuama and booze. And they died. The End.
