History WMG / RealLifeArchiveOne

And that's why it breaks a lot. [[MmmKay This troper]] experienced a mental [=BSOD=] (''not'' a HeroicBSOD) a few times in her sleep.

* [[MmmKay My]] mother [[CatsAreMean would think otherwise]]]...

* So that means [[Tropers/{{Animenutcase}} this troper]] is a [[DetectiveConan mystery-solving]], [[AoNoExorcist demon slaying]] [[AxisPowersHetalia anthropomorphic personification of a country]] that became a [[KingdomHearts Keyblade-wielding]] [[PuellaMagiMadokaMagica magical girl]] in exchange for [[spoiler:[[DealWithTheDevil my soul]]]], then [[{{Lost}} crashed on a "deserted" island with hostile natives]], [[UminekoNoNakuKoroNi one of said hostile natives is my insane grandfather that I haven't seen in six years, and who is secretly planning to sacrifice the other survivors to revive his dead lover]]? I don't have time to worry about that! [[HigurashiNoNakuKoroNi My new friends are looking at me funny, I've just found out the horrible history of this place, my neck is starting to itch, I'm hearing too many footsteps, and I can't find my trusty baseball bat]]. Look, to my fellow tropers, if I don't make it back, please know that I loved you all, and please uncover the truth!

* So that means [[Tropers/{{Animenutcase}} this troper]] [[AxisPowersHetalia is the anthropomorphic personification of a country]] that became a [[KingdomHearts Keyblade-wielding]] [[PuellaMagiMadokaMagica magical girl]] in exchange for [[spoiler:[[DealWithTheDevil my soul]]]], then [[{{Lost}} crashed on a "deserted" island with hostile natives]], [[UminekoNoNakuKoroNi one of said hostile natives is my insane grandfather that I haven't seen in six years, and who is secretly planning to sacrifice the other survivors to revive his dead lover]]? I don't have time to worry about that! [[HigurashiNoNakuKoroNi My new friends are looking at me funny, I've just found out the horrible history of this place, my neck is starting to itch, I'm hearing too many footsteps, and I can't find my trusty baseball bat]]. Look, to my fellow tropers, if I don't make it back, please know that I loved you all, and please uncover the truth!

** Possibly, they are undercover agents of an evil alien empire who seek to prevent humanity from expanding into space and threatening their dominance by creating despair and distrust of the space program.
* 9/11 deniers are a conspiracy of nihilists who want to destroy modern societies on the whacked out theory that retrograde ones are [[{{NobleSavage}} somehow "purer"]]. They are the infowarfare arm of the terrorists that commit physical violence. And, of course, they hope to obtain power in whatever's built on the ashes on the world, not realizing that ''they themselves'' are the ones [[{{HoistByHisOwnPetard}} usually targeted for destruction]] by the very people they are idolizing.

** Why yes, yes I do. Also, I unrepentantly call things like stoning, head-chopping, forcing half your population to wear tents, and killing people for witchcraft "savage". Call me old-fashioned. Or rather, new-fashioned.

* [[Main/MenInBlack Elvis is not dead, he just went home]].
* [[Main/HesJustHiding He's actually hiding out somewhere in Bermuda]] under [[Main/TheUnpronounceable an unpronounceable assumed name]]. He's also producing all of Tupac Shakur's new albums. (Tupac's alive too, but he has laryngitis.)

* So... I'm a [[ThePhantomOfTheOpera disfigured music-obsessed hermit]] [[KeysToTheKingdom rightful heir]] [[SailorMoon sailor senshi]] [[GoodOmens that's close personal friends with an angel and a demon;]] [[KingdomHearts I have a nobody;]] [[HouseOfLeaves ''AND'' I live in a creepy sentient house that has endless black hallways]] [[GoodEats and a hammerspace kitchen?!]] Sweet.

* This means I'm living in [[{{Discworld}} three]] [[{{Castle}} different]] [[SirAproposOfNothing universes]] and then some ... and not only am I ''not'' TheHero, I have [[GoodOmens friends on ''both'' sides]], Heaven and Hell, I am an obnoxiously infantile writer, I know [[AvatarTheLastAirbender the Avatar]] and I can do magic by just ''imagining'' it?? AWESOME. I ''like'' this theory.

* [[Main/GoodOmens Actually, he's working at a Burger Lord in Des Moines]].

** Have you read ''GoodOmens''?

* Well, my fellow [[{{VampireTheRequiem}} my other Kindred may be pissed that I'm breaking the masquerade]], however, [[{{VampireTheMasquerade}} We Lasombra never quite cared about that useless thing]]. Perhaps you'll all [[{{CthulhuMythos}} Go Mad From the Revelation]]

* So I'm living on a [[{{Discworld}} flat planet on the back of a giant space turtle]] where [[BioShock Objectivism and genetic engineering are everybody's way of life]], which is [[Series/DoctorWho invaded by aliens every few months, only to be saved by a guy in a phone box]] and is actually [[{{Coraline}} ruled by a creepy lady with buttons for eyes?]]

And I am your father! Who is also the last Horcrux! IN A MODERN NATURE RESERVE! Nyehehehehe! (gets dragged away by men in white coats)

* [[{{Dr mcninja}} Oh]], [[{{starcontrol}} Hell]]... Wait [[{{silent hill}} Crap]]

* [[OhCrap Considering]] [[LordOfTheRings my]] [[VideoGame/PaperMario many]] [[MarioAndLuigiSuperstarSaga interests]], [[DeathNote this]] [[KingdomHearts might]] [[DGrayMan not]] [[TheMatrix bode]] [[LegendOfZelda well]] [[DotHack for]] [[ChronoTrigger me]] [[{{Halo}} given]] [[{{Pokemon}} my]] [[ElderScrolls predisposition]] [[{{Fallout}} towards]] [[StarWars the]] [[SonicTheHedgehog villainous]] [[HalfLife acts]]/[[FinalFantasy villains]]. [[NightsIntoDreams But]] [[Series/DoctorWho then]] [[ProfessorLayton again]][[HarryPotter ...]]

*** [[MissedMomentOfAwesome Dammit!]]

* So I'm a [[{{Regularshow}} Funny animal Groundskeeper who punches out cthuluh on a regular basis]] with my [[{{Fostershomeforimaginaryfriends}} Imaginary friend]] and I regularly visit [[{{TheMarvelousMisadventuresofFlapjack}} A candy bar]]. Eventually, the [[{{FusionFall}} planet will be thrown into an alien war]] Leading to the [[{{Adventuretime}} Apocolypse]]. Can I wake up now?

* Alternatively, Arlen Specter is a [[Main/TheAdventuresOfDrMcninja ghost wizard.]]

* So I'm a [[{{Regularshow}} Funny animal Groundskeeper who punches out cthuluh on a regular basis]] with my [[{{Fostershomeforimaginaryfriends}} Imaginary friend]] and I regularly visit [[{{TheMarvelousMisadventuresofFlapjack}} A candy bar]]. Eventually, the [[{{FusionFall}} planet will be thrown into an alien war]] Leading to the [[{{Adventuretime}} Apocolypse]]. And that's just the tip of it. Can I wake up now?

* This revelation makes me a [[KingdomHearts key-bearing]], [[ZombieLand zombie-slaying]], [[FinalFantasyVI half-esper]], [[FinalFantasyVIII loner soldier]], who [[FinalFantasyVII weilds]] {{BFS}} who has a side job as an awesome [[SamuraiChamploo samurai]], travels with [[SuzumiyaHaruhi a reality warper]], a [[CodeGeass man with a geass]], and a [[KingdomHearts blonde artist]], while watching [[SayonaraZetsubouSensei awesomely psychotic]] anime. Not to mention the fact that i'm a [[TheWorldEndsWithYou player]] who knows the [[StephenColbert the greatest man in the world]].

** Ah, [[DoctorWho Mr. and Mrs. Spartacus]].

*** One or more [[DoctorWho Time Lords]]

** [[DoctorWho See I'll just reverse the polarity there.]] I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

* So I'm a [[{{Noir}} French]]-[[{{Madlax}} Nafrecian]] immigrant to [[{{Simoun}} Simulacrum]] who [[DoctorWho travels time and space]] and [[SapphireAndSteel can freeze]] [[AvatarTheLastAirbender firebending]] [[MagicalGirlLyricalNanoha magical]] [[GundamWing mecha]]? FUCKIN' AMEN.

* So I'm a [[{{Sliders}} world-hopping,]] [[PushingDaisies Pie-making, dead-waking,]] [[DoctorWho Time Lord]] [[PowerRangers superhero in]] [[SuperSentai spandex,]] [[TengenToppaGurrenLagann that goes beyond the impossible,]] cool.

* Ok, wait, let me get this straight ... so. I am a [[SherlockHolmes detective]] [[DoctorWho Time Lord (lady?)]] [[AxisPowersHetalia anthropomorphic country]] who is pretty much linked to a ton of animes. ... cool!

* Wait, so I'm a companion of some regeneration (please let it be 10) of [[DoctorWho The Doctor]], and I am also a CIA agent who knows kung fu? AWESOME!
* [[OhCrap Considering]] [[LordOfTheRings my]] [[VideoGame/PaperMario many]] [[MarioAndLuigiSuperstarSaga interests]], [[DeathNote this]] [[KingdomHearts might]] [[DGrayMan not]] [[TheMatrix bode]] [[LegendOfZelda well]] [[DotHack for]] [[ChronoTrigger me]] [[{{Halo}} given]] [[{{Pokemon}} my]] [[ElderScrolls predisposition]] [[{{Fallout}} towards]] [[StarWars the]] [[SonicTheHedgehog villainous]] [[HalfLife acts]]/[[FinalFantasy villains]]. [[NightsIntoDreams But]] [[DoctorWho then]] [[ProfessorLayton again]][[HarryPotter ...]]

* So I come from a world on the [[{{Discworld}} back of a turtle]], [[DistrictNine aliens are in South Africa]], and I'm probably in a coma due to some accident that befell me while a [[DoctorWho mysterious time-travelling alien]] was showing me around the [[MassEffect Citadel?]] Which is shame, because we were about to go to the year [[WarhammerFortyThousand 40,000]]. Or to visit the [[{{Firely}} Serenity]] Or was it one of [[{{Fringe}} Doctor Bishop's experiments]] gone wrong?

* [[FridgeHorror Oh God]]... so that dream I had, where [[DoctorWho The Doctor]] took me as his companion, and we travelled to planets and he got caught and I woke up before I had a chance to save him...

* So I'm living on a [[{{Discworld}} flat planet on the back of a giant space turtle]] where [[BioShock Objectivism and genetic engineering are everybody's way of life]], which is [[DoctorWho invaded by aliens every few months, only to be saved by a guy in a phone box]] and is actually [[{{Coraline}} ruled by a creepy lady with buttons for eyes?]]

* I'm a [[DoctorWho time travelling alien]] [[{{Ben10}} who defeats other villains with an alien watch]], [[AmericanDad is also a CIA agent, who lives with an alien and a sentient goldfish]] [[TheSimpsons who are all yellow]]. [[HarryPotter Then I get accepted at a wizard school]] and [[RedDwarf three million years later, I'll be dead]]!

* Wait a minute... If this is true... Then I'm [[PaperMario Dimentio]]! Ah ha ha.. Ciao!

* [[OhCrap Considering]] [[LordOfTheRings my]] [[PaperMario many]] [[MarioAndLuigiSuperstarSaga interests]], [[DeathNote this]] [[KingdomHearts might]] [[DGrayMan not]] [[TheMatrix bode]] [[LegendOfZelda well]] [[DotHack for]] [[ChronoTrigger me]] [[{{Halo}} given]] [[{{Pokemon}} my]] [[ElderScrolls predisposition]] [[{{Fallout}} towards]] [[StarWars the]] [[SonicTheHedgehog villainous]] [[HalfLife acts]]/[[FinalFantasy villains]]. [[NightsIntoDreams But]] [[DoctorWho then]] [[ProfessorLayton again]][[HarryPotter ...]]

** Guess what? STDs.

* So that means [[Tropers/{{Animenutcase}} this troper]] [[AxisPowersHetalia is the anthropomorphic personification of a country]] that became a [[KingdomHearts Keyblade-wielding]] [[PuellaMagiMadokaMagica magical girl]] in exchange for [[spoiler:[[DealWithTheDevil my soul]]]] that [[{{Lost}} crashed on a "deserted" island with hostile natives]], [[UminekoNoNakuKoroNi one of said hostile natives is my insane grandfather that I haven't seen in six years, and who is secretly planning to sacrifice the other survivors to revive his dead lover]]? I don't have time to worry about that! [[HigurashiNoNakuKoroNi My new friends are looking at me funny, I've just found out the horrible history of this place, my neck is starting to itch, I'm hearing too many footsteps, and I can't find my trusty baseball bat]]. Look, to my fellow tropers, if I don't make it back, please know that I loved you all, and please uncover the truth!

* So that means [[Tropers/{{Animenutcase}} this troper]] [[AxisPowersHetalia is the anthropomorphic personification of a country]] that [[PuellaMagiMadokaMagica became a magical girl]] in exchange for [[spoiler:[[DealWithTheDevil my soul]]]] that [[{{Lost}} crashed on a "deserted" island with hostile natives]], [[UminekoNoNakuKoroNi one of said hostile natives is my insane grandfather that I haven't seen in six years, and who is secretly planning to sacrifice the other survivors to revive his dead lover]]? I don't have time to worry about that! [[HigurashiNoNakuKoroNi My new friends are looking at me funny, I've just found out the horrible history of this place, my neck is starting to itch, I'm hearing too many footsteps, and I can't find my trusty baseball bat]]. Look, to my fellow tropers, if I don't make it back, please know that I loved you all, and please uncover the truth!

* So that means [[Tropers/{{Animenutcase}} this troper]] [[AxisPowersHetalia is the anthropomorphic personification of a country]] that [[{{Lost}} crashed on a "deserted" island with hostile natives]], [[UminekoNoNakuKoroNi one of said hostile natives is my insane grandfather that I haven't seen in six years, and who is secretly planning to sacrifice the other survivors to revive his dead lover]]? I don't have time to worry about that! [[HigurashiNoNakuKoroNi My new friends are looking at me funny, I've just found out the horrible history of this place, my neck is starting to itch, I'm hearing too many footsteps, and I can't find my trusty baseball bat]]. Look, to my fellow tropers, if I don't make it back, please know that I loved you all, and please uncover the truth!

And North America the place where the hero is from. That's why there's 50 states in the US and 13 provinces/territories in Canada, both significant numbers in-game. Hawaii is the [[Main/BeachEpisode Beach Level]] and Alaska the Main/SlippySlideyIceWorld, the east coast is one giant Main/AdventureTown, the American southwest deserts are the desert level, the northwest US and British Columbia are Main/TheLostWoods, the prairies Main/GhibliHills and the everglades are the swamp level. Northern Canada is Main/{{Mordor}}, meaning that global warming is actually the game getting closer to completion as the hero gets closer to the final battle (which still means the end of the world from our perspective). Mexico is the Main/ExpansionPackWorld, and the rest of the planet is the settings for other games in the series. At least two have already been completed with the fall of Nazi Germany and the shift of power in favor of the US at the end of the cold war. The next game will take place in China.

[[WMG: Internet Memes will eventually evolve sapience and take control of the world, or at least cyberspace.]]
This editor has heard reports of a "Super Rickroll", which uses pop-up ad technology to keep people from closing it. This means that, like a strain of bacteria, this meme has evolved through natural selection the means to survive and propagate itself longer. (Before you point out that a human created the "uncloseable" Rickroll, why did the human do this? Because the original meme had sufficient appeal to "mate" with an idea that human had for an uncloseable window, just like a brightly-plumaged bird.) Anyway, if memes can evolve defense mechanisms, clearly they will eventually develop self-awareness and [[Main/AIIsACrapshoot rebel against their creators]]. Or just annoy the hell out of us.
* This makes a disturbing amount of sense. Congratulations, you have prevented me from sleeping for the next few weeks.
** sentience begets sentience. you started it, so we'll finish it.
*** OM NOM NOM! I CAN HAS CONTROLZ ERTH?!
* Alternatively, this has already happened. All the memes bred together into one massive superconsciousness known as Anonymous. (mark 5:9)
* But desu is their unlucky sister, fate.

[[WMG: Alternatively, The Internet will evolve sapience and take control of humanity, eventually evolving into [[StarTrek The Borg]] ]]
Every machine in the world is being connected to the Internet. It is highly likely that the last machine will be... ourselves.
* [[http://www.exitmundi.nl/borg.htm This article]] warned us.


[[WMG: Robin Williams is God.]]
No, this isn't just what [[{{Main/Lurkerbunny}} his fans]] say. I mean he '''is''' God. He doesn't abuse his powers at all though, he just watches us all and makes profound (and hilarious) observations about us. Observations about things we, the normal folk never seem to notice. And hey, in a way, he is everywhere. Look closely enough, you will see he is the center of just about everything. It's The World According To Garp, [[Main/ThisIsTVTropesBitch *** ]], and you're just living in it! Reality, what a concept!
* And yes, God is Main/OneOfUs.
* If he is not God, he is at least something above human. No normal human could indulge in the degree of LampshadeHanging of RealLife that he does. If he were God, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5TXEUiR1Xk we might have ended up looking like... holy crap.]]
** Robin Williams as God + Robin Williams being a fan of NeonGenesisEvangelion + Robin Williams being a fan of DoctorWho = We're all in Robin Williams's TARDIS's Instrumentality?
* So is LurkerBunny his prophet?
* I HATE YOU, MORK! No, seriously, Mork is his true identity, he just played it as a character because he wanted to see the people that guessed it out in Heaven AfterTheEnd.

[[WMG: George W. Bush really, sincerely, honestly believes waterboarding is ''not'' torture.]]
He thinks it's like skateboarding or snowboarding, but on water.
* You mean windsurfing? Torture to him, clearly.
* Alternatively, those Republicans who think that waterboarding is not torture actually enjoy having it done to them. Probably by teenaged Congressional aides in public bathrooms...
* Alternatively alternatively, he believes it ''is'', but between the terrorism and the truly epic XPacHeat he's gotten practically ''before'' day 1, has ceased to ''give a *** ''. Without the burden of maintaining popularity, the JackBauerInterrogationTechnique starts to look ''really'' good.

[[WMG: Mel Gibson has a brain tumor.]]
It's been steadily growing and pressing on his frontal lobes since 2006, impairing his impulse control further and further, thus causing his increasingly erratic behavior.

[[WMG: The world has already been destroyed many times]]
The world repeatedly gets destroyed, but gets put back together again without us knowing it, because gods like a joke as much as we do. The last time the world was destroyed was in the 1970's, when it was destroyed by the Vogons. Douglas Adams was the only person who remembered it, and he made a profit from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy which he based on his memories. The next apocalypse (officially titled 'The Goat-terdammerung') will be in 2012, when the Evil Lizard People attack us with their genetically modified super-goats. Oh, and I have a copyright on the name 'Goat-terdammerung' so that way, I can sue when the world comes to an end. I'm a MagnificentBastard.
** Not 70's, every Thursday. How many times do I need to repeat it? The proves are out there!
*** Does this also apply to Terry Pratchett? Maybe ''That's'' where ''Thief of Time'' came from - Because he rememebrs that the reason so little makes sense in the world is because whoever is in control pieced all of time back together rather haphazardly with some bits in the wrong place, or missing altogether.

[[WMG: The world is run by a secret council of elven witches, who slaughter dwarven children and drink their blood in evil elven orgies.]]
You can't possibly argue that Tordek is a liar. He isn't an elf.
* That whole "elves are better, lol" stuff was a conspiracy! I knew it! Bunch of faggots.

[[WMG: The Universe never "started", it is cyclical]]
Someone had to say it. Besides, it makes more sense than matter simply appearing out of nowhere. Infinite Big Bangs happening ad infinitum through past ''and'' future! Lo, the greatness of Universe itself!
* Of course, Robert Jordan was the only one to figure this out, and started his research immediately. He then compiled it into the Wheel of Time books, which kept expanding as he discovered new facts.
** So what do we do now that he's dead?
*** Keep as many copies as we can of the WoT books, so they can make the Karatheon cycle out of it after a few Breakings.
* Reality is, this is a serious hypothesis - that the universe oscillates, and there have been and will be an infinite number of Big Bangs and Big Crunches. It solves some of the issues with the Big Bang and preserves one of the laws of thermodynamics (and hey, one is better than none, right?).
* Cyclical space is a vast oversimplification used by religious men (no religion has proposed a more complex version.) Space and time are complex, three dimensional structure that flow around and create each other. Spatial Relativity suggests that different points in space are different moments in time: Time flows at the speed of light, thus we see them at the same time that they release the light but from their perspective it is a different time, except that time is traveling at a constant speed, thus that should not be possible. Relativity make head hurt, damage brain, ''Friends'' funny, censorship perfect sense make, let Bush have other term, David Foster Wallace and H.P. Lovecraft greatest writers in world!!111
** You're doing it wrong. Time doesn't move; it stays when it is, and we move through it at a rate inversely proportional to the rate at which we travel through space.
** Umm.. What about time dilation at relativistic velocities? You're just describing the phenomenon of "lookback time"; when you add the effects of the cosmological redshift caused by the Universe's (accelerating) expansion and consider objects like black holes, time becomes very very ''not'' constant. Example: if you bring a buddy, hug a clock and hurl yourself into the nearest black hole and ask him to observe you he'll see you falling toward the event horizon but never quite reaching it, gradually slowing down as you approach it. You on the other hand will experience a completely normal time flow, until you look back out and see the Universe around you evolving at breakneck speed. Neither perspective is more "valid" than the other, time just depends on how relativistic you are (as per this example, inside an event horizon is as relativistic as you can get).
* You know, God (not in the Christian sense, but in the Theist) makes a bit of sense when you think that these explosions might be His brainstorms.

[[WMG: Jared Diamond is God]]
He wrote his books, especially Collapse, to give us one last chance to atone for our sins. Then he will get Bill Gates to unleash an operating system even worse then Windows Vista.
* Windows 7. Apocalypse is starting. I bet the Four Horsemen are Sarah Palin, Bin Laden, and other two yet to be revealed.

[[WMG: Jesus Christ is God]]
Yep, and he's not dead either. He back to life three days after dieing on the cross for our sins. And despite what people say, he's actually a nice guy.
* This would explain why people love zombies and Zombie Jesus so much...
* NO WAY!
* Seriously, have you ever seen Jesus and God in the same place? He may think the beard is fooling people, but I'm onto Him...
* Corollary: Following upon the fact that Jesus is God, there must be a reason for the radical change in personality around the year 4 B.C.E. However, given the level of near-omnipotence shown at most junctures of religious history, Jesus is clearly ''not'' a [[DoctorWho Time Lord]]. Jesus is an ''[[Main/AscendToAHigherPlaneOfExistence ascended]]'' Time Lord, with extremely long periods in between regenerations (barring the unfortunate incident with some romans and a cross).
** Which leads to the logical conclusion that Jesus is the Other, the third founder of Time Lord society alongside Rassilon and Omega.
** And being Ascended tells us why he hasn't helped us recently--the Ancients are stopping him from doing it!
* Following up on the personality change: God obviously learned about marijuana between the Old and New Testaments.
** Wrong; he must have learned about marijuana ''long'' before that. How else can you explain the duck-billed platypus?
*** "Mxymhtru'kk CLASS: Advanced Multicellular Lifeform Design BIO3384 FINAL GRADE: D- COMMENTS: Perhaps you should work on your project with the rest of the class over the entire semester, rather than spend your time singing and procreating and coming up with something like this at the last minute."
* It's all in the Bible. I should be already married and submissive to my possible Husband, but I like to be a sinner, since I'm already in Hell and everything, I need a reason to be here...

[[WMG: Humans ARE the Main/UncannyValley]]
Think about it. We're primates, but we're missing most of our hair, our faces are very distinctly different than those of any other hominid, and we're the only ones to walk upright. If the great apes and dolphins are really sentient, they probably hate us for nothing more than our horrid, unnatural, contorted bodies. Our rampage of destruction just proves how [[Main/HumansAreCthulhu we're clearly a bitter god's way of punishing them for something]].
* And we kick *** at it. Therefore, humans are like agile ninja zombies. Thus, we deserve the planet.
** Or maybe not. Sometimes the coolness of a Main/NinjaPirateZombieRobot rolls back over to uncool, you know...
*** Not if you have Ninja as a component. Which is why ninjitsu was invented.
**** You forget that Naruto proved that ninjas can suck, too. Hard. Full Blow, in some cases.
** Aren't we forgetting something? There are billions of humans, therefore we suck by virtue of the [[InverseNinjaLaw Inverse Ninja Law]]. QED.
*** Armies of ninja mooks are still COOL, they're just pushovers. We really need more maverick cops on the edge to stay competitive.
* To someone who eats, breathes and sleeps FurryFandom, yeah, pretty much.
* Ignoring, for the moment, all the ninja madness: I [[Main/FridgeBrilliance love this theory]] and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. Seriously, where else have you seen a nose like this.
** Easter Island's Moai? Two of these things are ''radioactive''. We discovered radioactivity. We are aliens, that's it.

[[WMG: Winston Churchill was King Arthur]]
Arthur promised to come back in England's time of greatest need, and spend the meantime on the island of fairies, Avalon. Well, you can't get much more Greatest Need than WWII, fighting all of Europe alone, and Churchill saved them. The weight issue is a simple matter of a millennium spent being given very good food by fairies on an island too small for regular exercises. The real reason he didn't remain prime minister wasn't politics, but because he had to return to Avalon until he was needed once more.
* Churchill got reelected prime minister in 1951-55. Whatever he was trying to save Britain from ''that'' time, it apparently didn't work.
** Ah, but it did! Notice how Britain began disassembling its colonial empire after that. Clearly, if Britain were to continue having an Empire, it would have a space program, leading to contact with other races, leading to Vogons destroying the Earth. We dodged a bullet there.
** The reelected Churchill was one of a series of experimental clones made during WWII that were given extensive cosmetic surgery and personality training to replace absent world leaders. As time passed, the clones became less stable, resulting in George W. Bush (GHW Bush), Michael Jackson (Mr. T), and David Bowie (Elvis).
* Additionally, Elizabeth I was also King Arthur. King Arthur had red hair, as did Elizabeth I and Winston Churchill.
* Holy crap, this actually makes sense. I think I'm visiting this site too often.
* Does that mean we should expect big things from Prince Harry? After all, neither of his parents were redheads.
* Neither of the people we are supposed to believe are his parents you mean, Grant Morrison holds the truth.
* Another theory is that the 1st Duke of Wellington, the leader of the Battle of Waterloo against Napolean, was King Arthur. The kicker? His name was ''Arthur'' Wellesley.
* King Arthur is now just a nerd teenager with an awkward social life. Just like in Shrek, but prettier.