History Recap / SouthParkS15E1HumancentiPad

* BlackComedyRape: While Cartman's claims about his mother fucking him are lies, its heavily implied that one of the audience members ''actually molests his son'', as he immediately kisses the child after criticizing Liane for not kissing Cartman before "fucking" him.

* ClusterFBomb: "Go ahead, Mom! Fuck me! Fuck me right here in the Best Buy! You wanna fuck your son so bad?! Go on, Mom! Fuck me! FUCK ME!!!"

* AnAesop: Always read before you sign, because you might be signing up for things you didn't want.

** When Cartman asks his mother to go back to Best Buy to get the Toshiba [=HandiBook=] instead of the iPad Cartman wanted and made a scene, his mother yells out "No!"

* LaserGuidedKarma:
** Cartman rightfully gets his well-deserved punishment for being his usual SpoiledBrat of a FatBastard self.
** Kyle and the others who sign the agreement contract without reading it first find out first hand why that's a bad idea.

* ScreamingAtSquick: Lips sewn to another person's ass and being forced to eat their shit just to power a tablet? Doesn't get any squickier than that.

* BigBad: Steve Jobs.

%%* ButtMonkey: Kyle took this up to eleven

** Cartman’s subplot would not have happened if either he told Craig the truth about his iPad not being real or just calmly watch his friends play on theirs like Kenny who also doesn’t have an iPad due to his poor status.

* ButtMonkey: Kyle took this UpToEleven.

* FantasticallyIndifferent: Virtually no one bats an eye over Steve Jobs subjecting three people, including a young boy like Kyle, to a twisted experiment. As far as they are concerned, this is innovation since those three people unwittingly agreed to this.

* LiteralMetaphor: Eric frequently berates his mom for "fucking" him over, or denying him an [=iPad=]. Everyone else in earshot thinks his mom ''literally'' fucks/rapes him the more he says it, and it puts him in an advantage near the end.

* FantasticallyIndifferent: Virtually no one bats an eye over Steve Jobs subjecting three people, including a young boy like Kyle, to a twisted experiment. As far as they are concerned, this is innovation since those three people unwittingly agreed to this. Hell, Kyle's father was more focused on nullifying the boy's Apple agreement and convincing Jobs not to delve into the innovation too quickly.

* BreadEggsMilkSquick: Cartman is overjoyed at the capabilities of the [=HumancentiPad=]: e-mail, web browsing, and shitting in Kyle's mouth.

* JerkassHasAPoint: UsefulNotes/SteveJobs might be holding people against their will and doing horrible things to them that spits in the face of man and God, but he's not doing any of it without their legal, written permission to do so. He even gets angry at Kyle for just signing a contract placed in front of him without even looking at it, which allows them to keep doing the experiment.

* BoringButPractical: Butters proves himself the only person in town able to outwit Apple's schemes. No, it's not HeroicWillpower or any mental discipline... he simply ''reads the user agreement'', which apparently no one else has ever done.

** Angry that his mother Liane won't buy him the $899.99 iPad, Cartman lies to everyone that she's out to sexually abuse him on a daily basis, when it really means that she's "fucking him over" whatever he wants to get. And his horrible, twisted lies actually work -- everyone believes him and works to help him gain an iPad afterwards.

At recess, most of the kids are glued to their iPads, and Cartman lords his tablet over the students who don't have one -- until Craig points out that it's just an iPad back glued to a piece of glass. It emerges that Liane has promised him an iPad as a birthday present, but he wants one '''now''', and rants at her for "fucking" him. She relents and drives him to Best Buy, but balks at the $900 price tag and tries to interest her son in a Toshiba [=HandiBook=] instead, sparking another tantrum in which Cartman accuses his mother of "fucking" him... whereupon a furious Liane drives him straight home. Cartman attempts to pull the teary apologetic child ploy to manipulate his mom into relenting, but Liane knows damn well he's being completely insincere and stands her ground. But he's not giving in so easily, and goes on ''Dr. Phil'', where they believe he is speaking literally when he talks about his mother "fucking" him, despite Liane crashing the taping session to explain. They decide to contact Apple to coordinate a PR gesture for the "victim".

Meanwhile, Kyle shows off his iPad to a customer at Sizzler's, who is hesitant to embrace Apple products owing to claims that they track their users' every movement. Kyle dismisses this as a myth -- just as Apple employees show up and verify that he has the weight and bloodwork they need for their newest experiment... to which he unwittingly agreed after accepting the latest iTunes user agreement. He tries to hide in Gerald's law office, but the Apple employees taser his father and throw Kyle in a cell with a woman and a Japanese man, Junichi, to be part of Steve Jobs's scheme to create an iPad powered by three humans sharing one gastral tract, the [=HumancentiPad=]. Kyle has his mouth sewn to Junichi's anus and the woman's mouth sewn to his own anus, and Junichi is fed food notorious for causing diarrhea that makes its way through Kyle to the woman's anus to power an iPad. Kyle repeatedly botches possible ways out by signing documents without reading them, only to learn that they make the agreement more binding.

At the same time, Stan, Kenny, and Butters tell Gerald (a lifelong PC user) that the user agreement states quite clearly that users are giving Apple permission to sew their mouths to other iTunes users' anuses, and other users' mouths to their own anuses. They take Gerald to the Apple Store to meet with the Geniuses, who initially offer them a new friend to replace Kyle. Gerald is not satisfied, so the Geniuses take part in a series of bizarre rituals (including the Quickening and the Toran Rah) before telling Gerald that if he becomes an Apple customer, he can make Kyle's account part of a family account for which he has final approval. Gerald reluctantly agrees.

The three subplots convene as Cartman is presented with the [=HumancentiPad=] after his appearance on ''Dr. Phil''. He's delighted: a tablet that browses the Internet ''and'' defecates in Kyle's mouth is everything he ever dreamed of. But Gerald shows up and announces that he has invalidated Kyle's agreement, and suggests that while the [=HumancentiPad=] may be the future, perhaps we should enjoy the present. Steve Jobs agrees and sends the [=CentiPad=] to be dismantled. An enraged Cartman now begins screaming at God for "fucking" him... and one BoltOfDivineRetribution from an unamused God later, Cartman ends the episode sobbing in a hospital bed, covered in burn marks, with an impassive Liane at his side.

* AndIMustScream: Kyle having to get his mouth sewn to an Asian person's ass while turned into a device while still alive. It [[FridgeHorror could have been worse if the HumancentiPad wasn’t discontinued]].

'''Originally Aired:''' April 27, 2011

* BoringButPractical: Butters proves himself the only person in town able to outwit Apple's schemes. No, it's not HeroicWillpower or any mental discipline...he simply ''reads the user agreement'', which apparently no one else has ever done.

* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: Steve Jobs constantly hammers in to his audience that his three subjects "agreed" to do his horrific experiment.

* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: Steve Jobs completely hammers in to his audience that his three subjects agreed to do the experiment.

* CassandraTruth: Kyle tries to tell one of the Apple employees that he (and the others) didn't read the terms of agreement and signed up by accident, but the employee just dismisses it as nonsense.

* ComicallyMissingThePoint: When Cartman's mom is mad at him for his tantrum at Best Buy, Cartman thinks he's just getting punished for not getting the iPad he wanted due to "fuck" being a "no-no word."

** He convinces the public his mom had sexually abused him regularly, which they fall for.

** He convinces the public his mom had "fucked [him]", which all they fall for.

* WoundedGazelleGambit: Cartman pulls one off to make his mom take him back to Best Buy. His mom doesn't buy into his crap one bit.