History Quotes / SoapOperaDisease

->'''Chris''': He’s contracted a severe case of MacGuffin’s Disease! The only cure is an infusion of DeusExMachina, but where will we be able to find that on ''Smallville''?!
-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''David Uzumeri''', [[http://comicsalliance.com/recap-smallville-4-6-transference/ on]] ''Series/{{Smallville}}'' ("Transference")

->Poor Kris Jenner; she must be so conflicted right now. On her right shoulder is [[GoodAngelBadAngel a tiny angel]] consoling her after finding out that her only son is sick in a bad way with diabetes. On the left is a skanky devil screaming with glee and congratulating her on her great new story line for the next season of [[Series/KeepingUpWithTheKardashians KUWTK]]. What am I saying? She totally flicked the angel off her shoulder and started doing celebratory vodka shots with the skanky devil.
-->-- '''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/12/30/rob-kardashian-has-been-diagnosed-with-diabetes/ Dlisted]]''', "Rob Has Diabetes"

->'''Chris''': He’s contracted a severe case of MacGuffin’s Disease! The only cure is an infusion of {{Deus Ex Machina}}, but where will we be able to find that on ''Smallville''?!
-->--' ''Chris Sims''' and '''David Uzumeri''', [[http://comicsalliance.com/recap-smallville-4-6-transference/ on]] {{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Transference")

->'''Ian''': It's my professional diagnosis that, uh, he's sick. He's [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment very sick, so very very sick.]] He's gonna die soon, because he's just so sick. Sick with what? The sickness, of course; he's just so very sick.

->''As a subplot, Spleen's brother, Burnt, has a horrible disease with absolutely no physical symptoms except that it causes him to become somewhat moody.''\\

-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''David Uzumeri''', [[http://comicsalliance.com/recap-smallville-4-6-transference/ on]] {{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Transference")

-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/12/30/rob-kardashian-has-been-diagnosed-with-diabetes/ Dlisted]]''', "Rob Has Diabetes"

- W Bruce Cameron, ''Eight Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter'' (the book, not the SitCom)

-->-''Series/OneLifeToLive''

->(Wearing a full body cast and oxygen mask): ''What's the matter with you guys?''
->''Um, we've got some head trauma and internal bleeding.''
->''Well, some guys have all the luck. (violin plays) I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs. And every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.''
-->-''WesternAnimation/SpongebobSquarepants''

'''Zorc''': She also has a terminal disease!\\
--''[[ShowWithinAShow Zorc and Pals]]'', ''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries''.

->'''Destiny''': [[GenreSavvy Maybe not...]]

-->-''OneLifeToLive''

-->-''SpongebobSquarepants''

->'''Chris''': Do they actually say it’s cancer? I know that they say Lionel has a liver disease, but I assumed that was because the only thing we have ever seen him ingesting is [[AGlassOfChianti single malt scotch.]]\\
'''David''': I just assumed, what with the skeletal appearance and the specificity of the liver. Wikipedia just says “terminal liver disease,” though, so I guess I’m wrong.\\
'''Chris''': He’s contracted a severe case of MacGuffin’s Disease! The only cure is an infusion of {{Deus Ex Machina}}, but where will we be able to find that on ''Smallville''?!

->Poor Kris Jenner; she must be so conflicted right now. On her right shoulder is [[ShoulderAngelShoulderDevil a tiny angel]] consoling her after finding out that her only son is sick in a bad way with diabetes. On the left is a skanky devil screaming with glee and congratulating her on her great new story line for the next season of [[Series/KeepingUpWithTheKardashians KUWTK]]. What am I saying? She totally flicked the angel off her shoulder and started doing celebratory vodka shots with the skanky devil.

->''Well, some guys have all the luck. (violin plays) I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs. And every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.''

->(Wearing a full body caste and oxygen mask): ''What's the matter with you guys?''

-->''As a subplot, Spleen's brother, Burnt, has a horrible disease with absolutely no physical symptoms except that it causes him to become somewhat moody.''\\

-->'''Matthew''': Yeah, I need come up with some new [[BlackComedy wheelchair jokes]]. After all, I'm here for life.
-->'''Destiny''': [[GenreSavvy Maybe not...]]

-->(Wearing a full body caste and oxygen mask): ''What's the matter with you guys?''
-->''Um, we've got some head trauma and internal bleeding.''
-->''Well, some guys have all the luck. (violin plays) I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs. And every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.''

--''[[ShowWithinAShow Zorc and Pals]]'', ''YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries''.

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-->(Wearing a full body caste and oxygen mask)''What's the matter with you guys?''

-->-''Spongebob''