History Quotes / SirSwearsalot

->''"[[IncomingHam I've come to make an announcement:]] Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out, and he pissed on my FUCKING wife, and he said his dick was (''imitating Shadow'') "''tHIS bIG''" (regular voice) and I said "that's disgusting". So I'm making a callout post on my [[InsistentTerminology Twitter dot com]]: Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut, [[{{Dissimile}} except WAY smaller.]] And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. (''Eggman makes explosion sounds with his mouth'') That's right, baby. All points, no quills, no pillows -- look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the earth! That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER ''PISS!'' Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher! I'm pissing on the MOOOOOON! How do you like that, OBAMA? '''I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU ''IDIOT''!''' You have twenty-three hours before the piss [[TrillingRs drrroplets]] hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!"''

''"[[IncomingHam I've come to make an announcement:]] Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out, and he pissed on my FUCKING wife, and he said his dick was (''imitating Shadow'') "''tHIS bIG''" (regular voice) and I said "that's disgusting". So I'm making a callout post on my [[InsistentTerminology Twitter dot com]]: Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut, [[{{Dissimile}} except WAY smaller.]] And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. (''Eggman makes explosion sounds with his mouth'') That's right, baby. All points, no quills, no pillows -- look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the earth! That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER ''PISS!'' Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher! I'm pissing on the MOOOOOON! How do you like that, OBAMA? '''I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU ''IDIOT''!''' You have twenty-three hours before the piss [[TrillingRs drrroplets]] hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!"''
-->-- '''Dr. Eggman''', ''WebVideoRealTimeFandub''

->''"[[Film/{{Magnolia}} Respect the cock and tame the cunt]]. And of course, by cock, I mean our hallowed justice system. That great blind cock that towers over us all and comes down hard on those who do bad! Like those who killed Mr. Husband! And by [[CountryMatters cunts]], I of course mean CUNTS! Cunts like these two fallen angels who ruthlessly snatched away the life from our poor victim! These cunts who must be tamed before they try to destroy all of the joys of manhood! Our cock of justice will make these cunts wet with the moist tears of regret from what they've done!"''\\
-->--'''[[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed Tom Croose]]/[[spoiler:Kneesocks]]''', planning to punish '''Panty and Stocking''', ''Anime/PantyAndStockingWithGarterbelt''

--'''[[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed Tom Croose]]/[[spoiler:Kneesocks]], planning to punish Panty and Stocking'''

-->-- ''Film/AFishCalledWanda''

-->-- '''[[Series/TheThickOfIt Malcolm Tucker]]''', responding to a request to stop swearing.

-->-- ''Film/TheBigLebowski''

-->--'''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''' reviews ''VideoGame/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles'' for the {{NES}}

-->--'''Series/{{Pizza}}'''

-->-- ''Film/TheBigLebowski''

->''"Putang ina mo, mumurahin talaga sa forum na yan."''[[labelnote:Translation]]You son of a bitch, [[IShallTauntYou I'll swear at you at the forum.]][[/labelnote]]
-->-- Philippine President '''UsefulNotes/Rodrigo Duterte''', on a planned talk with US President UsefulNotes/BarackObama

-->-- ''Film/TheBigLebowski''

'''The Dude:''' ... What the fuck you talking about?\\

-->--'''Series/{{Pizza}}'''

'''Lifesaver Les:''' Well, If you wanna own the fuckin' beach, you had to go through FUCKIN' US, 'cause we own the FUCKIN' Beach, our grandfathers fought in World War FUCKIN' 2 in this fuckin' beach, oh right if I were you I'd FUCK OFF!!

-->''LOTTA PEOPLE BEEN ASKING WHY MY VOICE BEEPS ALL THE F*CKING TIME. THE TORGUE STOCKHOLDERS WIRED MY VOICEBOX WITH A [[SoundEffectBleep DIGITAL CENSOR]] SO I CAN'T SAY STUFF LIKE SH*T, C*CK, P*SSY-F*CKIN' D*CKBALLS. THAT'S LIKE HALF MY F*CKING VOCABULARY! IT'S GODDAMN BULLSH*T!''

-->''"I know you're not a stupid kid, 'cause [[LampshadeHanging I say "FUCK" a lot and you're okay with that]]."''

-->''"Cowabunga... COWA-FUCKING-PIECE-OF-DOG-SHIT! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick. This game is as appealing as a fucking ooze-infested dirty fucking sewer rat shit. I've had more fun playing with dog turds. Shredder's my ass and Splinter's my balls. This game is an inside-out asshole regurgitating putrid anal fecal matter. I'd rather fucking yank all the hairs out of my scrotum. I'd rather drink diarrhea vomited out of buffalo's anus. It sucking fucks, it fucking sucks, it fucking blows, it's a piece of shit... [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and I don't like it.]]"''
-->--'''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''' reviews ''VideoGame/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles'' on the {{NES}}

-->'''''Lifesaver Les:''' "So you're looking for a fuckin blue are ya? Hey? Well fuckin come on, COME ON!" ''
-->'''''Rocky:''' "What'd you start us for, mate. Chillax. ''
-->'''''Lifesaver Les:''' "I'll fuckin biff ya, mate!" ''
-->'''''Habib:''' "What did I do? ''
-->'''''Lifesaver Les:''' "Well, If you wanna own the fuckin beach, you had to go through FUCKIN US, Cause we own the FUCKIN Beach, Our Grandfathers fought in world war FUCKIN 2 in this Fuckin Beach, oh right if I were you I'd FUCK OFF!!" ''
-->'''''Habib: "Rocky look, what's he saying? His Aussie Accent is like hard to understand. ''
-->'''''Lifesaver Les:''' "You, you and you and you, FUCK OFF!!!" '''
-->'''''Rocky:''' "I think he said, 'Who wants to start a WAR!!!!'" ''

-->'''''Lifesaver Les:''' "If you wanna own the fuckin beach, you had to go through FUCKIN US, Cause we own the FUCKIN Beach, Our Grandfathers fought in world war FUCKIN 2 in this Fuckin Beach, oh right if I were you I'd FUCK OFF!!" ''

-->--'''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''' reviews ''VideoGame/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles'' on the {{NES}}

-->-- '''Creator/{{Egoraptor}}''', ''WebVideo/{{Sequelitis}}''

-->--'''[[NoIndoorVoice Mr. Torgue]]''', ''VideoGame/{{Borderlands 2}}''

-->''LOTTA PEOPLE BEEN ASKING WHY MY VOICE BEEPS ALL THE F*CKING TIME. THE TORGUE STOCKHOLDERS WIRED MY VOICEBOX WITH A DIGITAL CENSOR SO I CAN'T SAY STUFF LIKE SH*T, C*CK, P*SSY-F*CKIN' D*CKBALLS. THAT'S LIKE HALF MY F*CKING VOCABULARY! IT'S GODDAMN BULLSH*T!''

-->''LOTTA PEOPLE BEEN ASKING WHY MY VOICE BEEPS ALL THE F*CKING TIME. THE TORGUE STOCKHOLDERS WIRED MY VOICEBOX WITH A DIGITAL CENSOR SO I CAN'T SAY STUFF LIKE SH*T, C*CK, P*SSY-F*CKIN' D*CKBALLS. THAT'S LIKE HALF MY F*CKING VOCABULARY! IT'S GODDAMN BULLSH*T!