History Quotes / ScrewYouElves

->'''Neroon:''' I was taught the pike by Durhann himself.\\
'''Marcus Cole:''' Really? So was I.
-->-- ''Series/BabylonFive''

->See you in hell.
-->-- '''Sheridan''' blowing up the Black Star, ''Series/BabylonFive''

'''Raynor''': [[ImStandingRightHere The name's James Raynor, pal]]. And I won't be talked down to by anybody - not even a Protoss.\\

->'''Terath''': You do not belong here, shemlen.
->'''[[PlayerCharacter Snarky!Hawke]]''': What about my... Dear Maker! Where did my self-righteousness and pointy ears go?
->'''Terath''': Why you... you... [[LameComeback Shemlen!]]

->Hey, you know what really gets under my skin? [[{{Lich}} Proverbially, of course?]] [[UnequalRites A century of wizards looking down their damn noses at me]]. [[CallingYourAttacks Energy Drain!]] I know people think I'm stupid. Because I'm not a wizard. [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny Because I get bored easily]]. [[BrilliantButLazy Because I have no interest in strategy or tactics or contingency planning]]. Energy Drain! But see, [[CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass I've learned a lot over the years since I died]]. A lot more than I learned during my life. And now I see that planning doesn't matter. Strategy doesn't matter. Only two things matter: [[UnskilledButStrong Force in as great a concentration as you can manage]], and [[EvilIsCool style]]. And in a pinch, [[CombatPragmatist style can slide]]. Energy Drain! In any battle, there's always a level of force against which no tactics can succeed. For example, all I need to do is keep smacking you with Energy Drains, and soon you won't be able to cast any of your fancy spells at all. Energy Drain! Because yes, I am a sorceror - and this magic is in my bones, not cribbed off of "Magic for Dummies." [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown And I can keep casting the same friggin' spell at you until you roll over and die]]. [[IronicEcho You can have your finely-crafted watch]] -[[WhenAllYouHaveIsAHammer give me the sledgehammer to the face any day]]. '''ENERGY DRAIN!'''

!!!On works
->''"Don't start me on Elves. My perennial bugbear. Elves are basically "What If Aryans were right about there being a master race". ''Fucking Elves''"''
-->'''Creator/KieronGillen'''

->''"Everyone agrees that the thought of spending 70 years with Tuvok gives them [[SuckinessIsPainful a headache and an upset stomach]]. Tuvok is so boring that even when dealing with a mutiny he is [[BotheringByTheBook lecturing Paris on procedures]]. I wonder what part of the manual those particular regulations are in."''
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/voyager-season-three.html Doc Oho]]''' on ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "Worst Case Scenario"

!!!Fiction
->'''Dax:''' Frankly, he's more than a little arrogant, Benjamin.
->'''Sisko:''' ''(struggling not to laugh)'' [[BoomerangBigot Is he?]]
->'''Dax:''' Okay, for a Trill, that's to be expected. Check.
-->--''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'', "Playing God"

->''"There's nothing worse than addressing a room full of pointy-eared blowhards."''
-->--'''Dr. Lewis Zimmerman''', ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'' ("Life Line")

->''"I love nailing asari. So ageless and superior -- then you get them, and they squeal like schoolgirls."''
-->-- '''Gianna Parisini''', ''VideoGame/MassEffect2''

->''"An oath from an eldar means less than nothing. It is a promise of betrayal."''
-->-- '''TabletopGame/{{Inquisitor}} {{Literature/Eisenhorn}}''', ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}''

->'''Player Character''': Elves have strange powers.\\
'''[[ProudWarriorRaceGuy Sten]]''': Being easily conquered does not constitute a "power."
-->-- ''VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins''

-> ''You know what [[BeneathTheEarth Orzammar]] is? It's cramped tunnels, filled with nug-shit and body-odor. And [[OurDwarvesAreAllTheSame every person there]] thinks he's [[SmallNameBigEgo better than you]] because his great-great-great grandfather made a water-clock or something?!''
-->-- '''[[CulturalRebel Varric]] [[MySpeciesDothProtestTooMuch Tethras]]''', ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII''

->'''Terath''': You do not belong here, shemlen.
->'''[[PlayerCharacter Snarky!Hawke]]''': What about my... Dear Maker! Where did my self-righteousness and pointy ears go?
->'''Terath''': Why you... you... [[LameComeback Shemlen!]]
-->-- ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII''

->'''Aldaris''': And who is this ''human'', Tassadar?\\
'''Raynor''': [[ImStandingRightHere The name's James Raynor, pal]]. And I won't be talked down to by anybody - not even a Protoss.\\
'''Aldaris''': Your taste in companions grows ever more inexplicable...
-->-- ''{{Starcraft}}''

->[Cally] herself went on Mendy's list of people to expect unbalanced things from, about the time she started skipping away down the hall singing like some manic, killer child, "I get to kill a Darhel, I get to kill a Darhel."
-->-- ''[[Literature/LegacyOfTheAldenata Eye of the Storm]]''

'''[[RebelliousPrincess Miliana]]''': No -- their [[CreativeSterility utter lack of achievement]]! You know, if I were eight hundred years old, I think I'd do more with my time than [[MedievalStasis sitting about on my derriere singing tra-la-la-lally]].
-->-- ''[[ForgottenRealms The Council of Blades]]'' by Paul Kidd

->'''DM:''' ''You find yourselves in Lothlórien, the home of elvendom on Earth. Here there is no wearyness'' [sic] ''or sign of decay.''\\
'''Merry:''' Bah. It's just a bunch of people who won't share their trees with us.\\
'''Boromir:''' Not only does this place not have an inn, it doesn't even have houses. They all live in trees.\\
'''Aragorn:''' No shops or blacksmith either!\\
'''Boromir:''' Is this how they greet adventurers? "''Welcome noble champions, feel free to sleep on our dirt, here are some pointy sticks.''" No shops, no sidequests, the people are snooty and we're sleeping on the ground underneath their spectacular treetop city of lights and music. These are the magical elves? These guys are jerks.\\
'''Aragorn:''' You know what I'm thinking?\\
'''Boromir:''' [[KillItWithFire Only you can promote forest fires?]]\\
'''Aragorn:''' Exactly.
-->-- ''DMOfTheRings'', "Fire Safety"

->"Then perhaps ye would be kind enough to tell them something for me." Elminster rounded the bed to place himself between Lord Imesfor and the priestess. "Tell them the council would do well to recall how many friends the elves truly have among men--lest they chase them all off with their boneheadedness!"\\
Angharradh’s eyes widened. "I couldn't possibly--"\\

-->-- ''[[ForgottenRealms The Summoning]]'' by Troy Denning

->'''Red Mage:''' Oh, it's good to see ''civilization'' again.\\
'''Thief:''' Civilization? No. This is a collection of shanties built by monkeys. Establish a stable, unified society with ten thousand years of beautiful culture, and ''then'' we'll talk.\\
'''Red Mage:''' Y'know, I've always been meaning to ask you something. If you elves are so great, why is your technology on par with humans even though you had a nine thousand year head start?\\
''BeatPanel''\\
'''Thief:''' It's. (''{{beat}}'') That's how we like it.\\
'''Red Mage:''' And how unified can elf society be if there was that outcast clan? They were fighting a shadow war to dissolve your kingdom.\\
'''Black Mage:''' One of them poisoned your dad.\\
'''Red Mage:''' In fact, wasn't the throne nearly usurped by them had it not been for our extremely ''non-elfy'' intervention?\\
'''Thief:''' No more questions. The answers would only further confuse your simple minds.
-->-- ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater''

-->--'''Vilani''', ''{{Traveller}}: Intersteller Wars''

->'''Vaarsuvius:''' [[WorthyOpponent While I respect your clear mental discipline]], I will not allow you to injure my allies.
->'''Laurin:''' Don't tell me what I'm "allowed" to do, elf. You people up there in your lush forest while the rest of us have to fight for scraps - you can shove your false respect, because you don't know anything about me!

->'''[[SufficientlyAdvancedAlien The Foss]]:''' We merely use [[AFormYouAreComfortableWith these crude vessels]] to interact with subcreatures such as you!
->'''Vexxarr:''' ''Subcreatures'', eh?
->'''Foss:''' What is... er... that thing?
->'''Vexxarr:''' Behold a [[GolfClubbing sand wedge]]. I use it to interface with irritants such as ''you''.
-->--''Webcomic/{{Vexxarr}}''

->You call yourself some kind of goddess and you know nothing, madam, nothing. What don't die can't live. What don't live can't change. [[CreativeSterility What don't change can't learn.]] [[ImmortalImmaturity The smallest creature that dies in the grass knows more than you.]] You're right. I'm older. You've lived longer than me. but I'm older'n you. And better than you. And, madam, that ain't hard.
-->-- '''Granny Weatherwax''' [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech telling the Elf Queen why she sucks]], from ''Discworld/LordsAndLadies''

-> You may as well try to catch starlight as bring the Eldar to battle.
-->-- '''Imperial Navy Saying''', TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}

-> The eldar were [[ProudWarriorRaceGuy warriors]], [[CulturedBadass aesthetes]], [[SpacePirate pirates]], philosophers and killers. But most of all, they were [[ManipulativeBastard liars]].
-->-- '''Commander Sarpedon of the Soul Drinkers''', ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}''

->Elves? What help has ever come from ''elves''?
-->-- '''Thorin Oakenshield, King of the Dwarves''', Film/TheHobbitAnUnexpectedJourney.

->I will not stand down before any elf! Much less this faithless woodland ''sprite''! He wishes nothing but ill upon my people! If he chooses to stand between me and my kin, I'll split his [[{{Bishounen}} pretty head]] open! See if he's still ''smriking then''!
-->-- '''Dáin Ironfoot, Lord of the Iron Hills''', Film/TheHobbitTheBattleOfTheFiveArmies.

-->-- ''Thorin Oakenshield, King of the Dwarves''', Film/TheHobbitAnUnexpectedJourney.

-->-- '''Dáin Ironfoot, Lord of the Iron Hills'', Film/TheHobbitTheBattleOfTheFiveArmies.

-->-- ''Thorin Oakenshield, King of the Dwarves''', Film/TheHobbitAUnexpectedJourney.

-->-- '''Dáin Ironfoot, Lord of the Iron Hills'', Film/TheHobbitTheBattleOfFiveArmies.

->Hey, you know what really gets under my skin? [[{{Lich}} Proverbially, of course?]] [[UnequalRites A century of wizards looking down their damn noses at me]]. [[CallingYourAttacks Energy Drain!]] I know people think I'm stupid. Because I'm not a wizard. [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny Because I get bored easily]]. [[BrilliantButLazy Because I have no interest in strategy or tactics or contingency planning]]. Energy Drain! But see, [[CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass I've learned a lot over the years since I died]]. A lot more than I learned during my life. And now I see that planning doesn't matter. Strategy doesn't matter. Only two things matter: [[UnskilledButStrong Force in as great a concentration as you can manage]], and style. And in a pinch, [[CombatPragmatist style can slide]]. Energy Drain! In any battle, there's always a level of force against which no tactics can succeed. For example, all I need to do is keep smacking you with Energy Drains, and soon you won't be able to cast any of your fancy spells at all. Energy Drain! Because yes, I am a sorceror - and this magic is in my bones, not cribbed off of "Magic for Dummies." [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown And I can keep casting the same friggin' spell at you until you roll over and die]]. [[IronicEcho You can have your finely-crafted watch]] -[[WhenAllYouHaveIsAHammer give me the sledgehammer to the face any day]]. '''ENERGY DRAIN!'''

->'''[[PlayerCharacter Snarky!Hawke]]''': What about my... Dear Maker! [[ScrewYouElves Where did my self-righteousness and pointy ears go]]?

->''"Tuvok knows the term ''Déjà vu'' and yet goes out of his way to baffle Mister Kim by terming it [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness paradoxical state dependant associated phenomenon.]] What a twat."''
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/voyager-season-three.html Doc Oho]]''' on ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "Favorite Son"

->''"Neelix is astonished that Tuvok wants to finish his tactical review before reading his letter from home! It confirms what I have always believed that Tuvok [[DramaQueen does a lot of his brooding for show]] and the second people are out of the way he behaves like a normal person. The second Neelix pisses off Tuvok picks up his letter."''
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/voyager-season-four.html Doc Oho]]''' on ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "Hunters"

->"Don't start me on Elves. My perennial bugbear. Elves are basically "What If Aryans were right about there being a master race". ''Fucking Elves''"

->I love nailing asari. So ageless and superior - then you get them, and they squeal like schoolgirls.
-->-- '''Gianna Parisini''' ''VideoGame/MassEffect2''. [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything For the record, she's talking about arresting them.]]

-> An oath from an eldar means less than nothing. It is a promise of betrayal.

->''Oh dear, I really don't think I'm going to like this T'Pol. I've found that Vulcans can run the gamut from mellow (Saavik, Voyager's sadly underused Vorik) to gruff (Tuvok, Sarek) to kind of sassy (Spock, Valeris), all under the guise of logic and restrained emotion. They're my favourite Trek species, actually. What can I say? A large part of me has to relate to the guy standing at the back of the room with his armed folded, rolling his eyes at everyone. I don't think I've ever met one I didn't like. [[BaitTheDog Until now.]]''
-->-- '''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''' on [[Series/StarTrekEnterprise "Two Days and Two Nights"]]

-> The eldar were warriors, aesthetes, pirates, philosophers and killers. But most of all, they were liars.

-->-- '''{{Inquisitor}} {{Literature/Eisenhorn}}''', ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}''

-->-- '''Gianna Parisini''' ''VideoGame/MassEffect2''

->'''Vaarsuvius:''' [[WorthyOpponent While I respect your clear mental discipline]], I cannot allow you to injure my allies.

-->-- '''''Website/TheAgonyBooth'' on [[Series/StarTrekEnterprise "Two Days and Two Nights"]]

->"Don't start me on Elves. My perennial bugbear. Elves are basically "What If Aryans were right about there being a master race". ''Fucking Elves''"
-->'''Creator/KieronGillen'''

->I love nailing asari. So ageless and superior - then you get them, and they squeal like schoolgirls.[[note]]She's talking about arresting them... probably.[[/note]]

-> ''You know what [[BeneathTheEarth Orzammar]] is? It's cramped tunnels, filled with nug-shit and body-odour. And [[OurDwarvesAreAllTheSame every person there]] thinks he's [[SmallNameBigEgo better than you]] because his great-great-great grandfather made a water-clock or something?!''

->You call yourself some kind of goddess and you know nothing, madam, nothing. What don't die can't live. What don't live can't change. [[CreativeSterility What don't change can't learn.]] [[ImmortalImmaturity The smallest creature that dies in the grass knows more than you.]] You're right. I'm older. You've lived longer than me but I'm older'n you. And better than you. And, madam, that ain't hard.

-->'''{{Creator/Kieron Gillen}}'''

-->-- '''{{Inquisitor}} {{Eisenhorn}}''', ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}''

-->'''{{Creator/Kieron Gillen}}''

->Hey, you know what really gets under my skin? [[{{Lich}} Proverbially, of course?]] [[UnequalRites A century of wizards looking down their damn noses at me]]. [[CallingYourAttacks Energy Drain!]] I know people think I'm stupid. Because I'm not a wizard. [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny Because I get bored easily]]. [[BrilliantButLazy Because I have no interest in strategy or tactics or contingency planning]]. Energy Drain! But see, [[CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass I've learned a lot over the years since I died]]. A lot more than I learned during my life. And now I see that planning doesn't matter. Strategy doesn't matter. Only two things matter: [[UnskilledButStrong Force in as great a concentration as you can manage]], and style. And in a pinch, [[CombatPragmatist style can slide]]. Energy Drain! In any battle, there's always a level of force against which no tactics can succeed. For example, all I need to do is keep smacking you with Energy Drains, and soon you won't be able to cast any of your fancy spells at all. Energy Drain! Because yes, I am a sorceror - and this magic is in my bones, not cribbed off of "Magic for Dummies." [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown And I can keep casting the same friggin' spell at you until you roll over and die]]. [[WhenAllYouHaveIsAHammer You can have your finely-crafted watch - give me the sledgehammer to the face any day]]. '''ENERGY DRAIN!'''

-->-- '''[[EnsembleDarkhorse Murtagh Morzansson]]''', ''[[Literature/InheritanceCycle Eldest]]''

->You call yourself some kind of goddess and you know nothing, madam, nothing. What don't die can't live. What don't live can't change. [[CreativeSterility What don't change can't learn.]] [[ImmortalImmaturity The smallest creature that dies in the grass knows more than you.]] You're right. I'm older. You've lived longer than me but I'm older'n you. And better than you. [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome And, madam, that ain't hard.]]
-->-- '''Granny Weatherwax''' [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech telling the Elf Queen like how it is]], from ''Discworld/LordsAndLadies''

->I love [arresting] asari. So ageless and superior - then you get them, and they squeal like schoolgirls.