History Quotes / ScrewYouElves

->'''Foss:''' What is...er...that thing?

-->-- '''Granny Weatherwax''' [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech telling the Elf Queen like it is]], from ''Discworld/LordsAndLadies''

->'''DM:''' ''You find yourselves in Lothlorien, the home of elvendom on Earth. Here there is no wearyness'' [sic] ''or sign of decay.''\\

-->-- ''DragonAgeOrigins''

-->-- '''[[EnsembleDarkhorse Murtagh Morzansson]]''', ''[[InheritanceCycle Eldest]]''

->'''[[SufficientlyAdvancedAlien The Foss]]:''' We merely use [[AFormYouAreComfortableWith these crude vessels]] to interact with
subcreatures such as you!

Angharradh’s eyes widened. "I couldn't possibly--"\\

-->-- '''Gianna Parisini''' ''MassEffect2''

Angharradh’s eyes widened. "I couldn't possibly--"\\

-->-- ''BabylonFive''

-->-- '''Sheridan''' blowing up the Black Star, ''BabylonFive''

->Spare us your pity, alien. You gush about your connection to nature, your primal wisdom, but what has it brought you?
->Where are your marvels of engineering? Your voyages of discovery? Your great insight into the nature of the universe? Even at our basest, when we dressed as you do, dwelt as you do, hunted as you do, lived as you do, we did more than merely survive. We built wonders. We made great journeys. We forged epics. You have not.
->You speak so proudly of the plugs dangling from your skulls, little realizing that they are but strings and you puppets. What little you have accomplished you attribute to the wisdom of your goddess, who is nothing but the voices of your dead echoing for all eternity. She moors you to the past, serving as a leash that keeps you as little better than apes, sad parodies of civilization that lack that special spark to become something more.
->We have come to your world in search of resources. Whether your actions drive us back or we take what we want and move on, the outcome is the same. We will depart from your wretched planet, leaving you behind. And in a thousand years, you will not have changed from this contact with another world. You will remain in your trees, hunting your prey, communing with your goddess, until your sun burns out and your world dies.
->And above your tomb, the stars will belong to us
-->-- '''Copypasta regarding [[Film/{{Avatar}} The Na'vi]]'''

->'''Player Character''': Elves have strange powers.
->'''[[ProudWarriorRaceGuy Sten]]''': Being easily conquered does not constitute a "power."

->'''Aldaris''': And who is this ''human'', Tassadar?
->'''Raynor''': [[ImStandingRightHere The name's James Raynor, pal]]. And I won't be talked down to by anybody - not even a Protoss.
->'''Aldaris''': Your taste in companions grows ever more inexplicable...

->She herself went on Mendy's list of people to expect unbalanced things from, about the time she started skipping away down the hall singing like some manic, killer child, "I get to kill a Darhel, I get to kill a Darhel."
-->-- ''PosleenWarSeries''

->'''DM:''' ''You find yourselves in Lothlorien, the home of elvendom on Earth. Here there is no wearyness'' [sic] ''or sign of decay.''
->'''Merry:''' Bah. It's just a bunch of people who won't share their trees with us.
->'''Boromir:''' Not only does this place not have an inn, it doesn't even have houses. They all live in trees.
->'''Aragorn:''' No shops or blacksmith either!
->'''Boromir:''' Is this how they greet adventurers? "''Welcome noble champions, feel free to sleep on our dirt, here are some pointy sticks.''" No shops, no sidequests, the people are snooty and we're sleeping on the ground underneath their spectacular treetop city of lights and music. These are the magical elves? These guys are jerks.
->'''Aragorn:''' You know what I'm thinking?
->'''Boromir:''' [[KillItWithFire Only you can promote forest fires?]]
->'''Aragorn:''' Exactly.

->"Then perhaps ye would be kind enough to tell them something for me." Elminster rounded the bed to place himself between Lord Imesfor and the priestess. "Tell them the council would do well to recall how many friends the elves truly have among men--lest they chase them all off with their boneheadedness!"
->Angharradh’s eyes widened. "I couldn't possibly--"
->"Ye could and ye shall." Elminster shooed her toward the door. "And be quick about it, before I [[TakenForGranite make a caryatid of ye]]!"
->Laeral held the door. "I suggest you hurry. You know how rash and impatient we humans can be."

->'''Neroon:''' I was taught the pike by Durhann himself.
->'''Marcus Cole:''' Really? So was I.

->'''Red Mage:''' Oh, it's good to see ''civilization'' again.
->'''Thief:''' Civilization? No. This is a collection of shanties built by monkeys. Establish a stable, unified society with ten thousand years of beautiful culture, and ''then'' we'll talk.
->'''Red Mage:''' Y'know, I've always been meaning to ask you something. If you elves are so great, why is your technology on par with humans even though you had a nine thousand year head start?
->''BeatPanel''
->'''Thief:''' It's. (''{{beat}}'') That's how we like it.
->'''Red Mage:''' And how unified can elf society be if there was that outcast clan? They were fighting a shadow war to dissolve your kingdom.
->'''Black Mage:''' One of them poisoned your dad.
->'''Red Mage:''' In fact, wasn't the throne nearly usurped by them had it not been for our extremely ''non-elfy'' intervention?
->'''Thief:''' No more questions. The answers would only further confuse your simple minds.

->'''DM:''' ''You find yourselves in Lothlorien, the home of elvendom on Earth. Here there is no wearyness [sic] or sign of decay.''

->'''DM:''' You find yourselves in Lothlorien, the home of elvendom on Earth. Here there is no wearyness [sic] or sign of decay.

->'''Boromir:''' [[KillItWithFire "Only you can promote forest fires?"]]

->'''DM:''' You find yourselves in Lothlorien, the home of elvendom on earth, where there is no weariness or sign of decay.

->'''Boromir:''' Is this how they greet adventurers? "Welcome noble champions, feel free to sleep on our dirt, here are some pointy sticks." No shops, no sidequests, the people are snooty and we're sleeping on the ground beneath their spectacular treetop city of lights and music. These are the magical elves? These guys are jerks.

-->-- ''DMOfTheRings''

-->-- '''{{Inquisitor}} {{Eisenhorn}}''', ''{{Warhammer 40000}}''

----

-->-- ''DragonAgeOrigins''

->'''Marcus Cole:''' Really? So was I.

-->-- ''EightBitTheater''

-->-- '''Xykon''', ''TheOrderOfTheStick: StartOfDarkness''

<<|QuotesWiki|>>

->Hey, you know what really gets under my skin? [[{{Lich}} Proverbially, of course?]] [[UnequalRites A century of wizards looking down their damn noses at me]]. [[CallingYourAttacks Energy Drain!]] I know people think I'm stupid. Because I'm not a wizard. [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny Because I get bored easily]]. [[BrilliantButLazy Because I have no interest in strategy or tactics or contingency planning]]. Energy Drain! But see, [[CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass I've learned a lot over the years since I died]]. A lot more than I learned during my life. And now I see that planning doesn't matter. Strategy doesn't matter. Only two things matter: [[UnskilledButStrong Force in as great a concentration as you can manage]], and style. And in a pinch, style can slide. Energy Drain! In any battle, there's always a level of force against which no tactics can succeed. For example, all I need to do is keep smacking you with Energy Drains, and soon you won't be able to cast any of your fancy spells at all. Energy Drain! Because yes, I am a sorceror - and this magic is in my bones, not cribbed off of "Magic for Dummies." [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown And I can keep casting the same friggin' spell at you until you roll over and die]]. [[WhenAllYouHaveIsAHammer You can have your finely-crafted watch - give me the sledgehammer to the face any day]]. '''ENERGY DRAIN!'''

->'''Boromoir:''' Is this how they greet adventurers? "Welcome noble champions, feel free to sleep on our dirt, here are some pointy sticks." No shops, no sidequests, the people are snooty and we're sleeping on the ground beneath their spectacular treetop city of lights and music. These are the magical elves? These guys are jerks.

-->-- '''Inquisitor Eisenhorn''', ''{{Warhammer 40000}}''

->'''[[ProudWarriorRaceGuy Sten]]''': Being easily conquered does not constitute a 'power'.
-->-- '''DragonAge: Origins'''

->'''Raynor''': The name's James Raynor, pal. And I won't be talked down to by anybody - not even a Protoss.

->''She herself went on Mendy's list of people to expect unbalanced things from, about the time she started skipping away down the hall singing like some manic, killer child, "I get to kill a Darhel, I get to kill a Darhel''

->''And the elves, bah! All they can do is sit in their forest and wait to be conquered.''

-> "Then perhaps ye would be kind enough to tell them something for me." Elminster rounded the bed to place himself between Lord Imesfor and the priestess. "Tell them the council would do well to recall how many friends the elves truly have among men--lest they chase them all off with their boneheadedness!"
-> Angharradh’s eyes widened. "I couldn't possibly--"
-> "Ye could and ye shall." Elminster shooed her toward the door. "And be quick about it, before I [[TakenForGranite make a caryatid of ye]]!"
-> Laeral held the door. "I suggest you hurry. You know how rash and impatient we humans can be."

->'''Gianna Parisini:''' I love nailing asari. So ageless and superior -- then you get them, and they squeal like schoolgirls.
-->-- ''MassEffect2


-->Neroon:I was taught the pike by Durhann himself.
-->Marcus Cole: Really? So was I.
-->BabylonFive

-->''See you in hell''
--> Sheridan blowing up the Black Star
-->BabylonFive

-->Vilani. No wonder you have to hit them over the head with a battleship squadron before they take you seriously.
-->{{Traveller}} ''Intersteller Wars'' .

-> Hey, you know what really gets under my skin? Proverbially, of course? [[UnequalRites A century of wizards looking down their damn noses at me]]. Energy Drain! I know people think I'm stupid. Because I'm not a wizard. [[CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass Because I get bored easily]]. [[BrilliantButLazy Because I have no interest in strategy or tactics or contingency planning]]. Energy Drain! But see, I've learned a lot over the years since I died. A lot more than I learned during my life. And now I see that planning doesn't matter. Strategy doesn't matter. Only two things matter: [[UnskilledButStrong Force in as great a concentration as you can manage]], and style. And in a pinch, style can slide. Energy Drain! In any battle, there's always a level of force against which no tactics can succeed. For example, all I need to do is keep smacking you with Energy Drains, and soon you won't be able to cast any of your fancy spells at all. Energy Drain! Because yes, I am a sorceror - and this magic is in my bones, not cribbed off of "Magic for Dummies." [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown And I can keep casting the same friggin' spell at you until you roll over and die]]. [[WhenAllYouHaveIsAHammer You can have your finely-crafted watch - give me the sledgehammer to the face any day]]. '''ENERGY DRAIN!'''
--> '''Xykon''', ''TheOrderOfTheStick: StartOfDarkness''

-> Hey, you know what really gets under my skin? Proverbially, of course? [[UnequalRites A century of wizards looking down their damn noses at me]]. Energy Drain! I know people think I'm stupid. Because I'm not a wizard. [[ObfuscatingStupidity Because I get bored easily]]. [[BrilliantButLazy Because I have no interest in strategy or tactics or contingency planning]]. Energy Drain! But see, I've learned a lot over the years since I died. A lot more than I learned during my life. And now I see that planning doesn't matter. Strategy doesn't matter. Only two things matter: Force in as great a concentration as you can manage, and style. And in a pinch, style can slide. Energy Drain! In any battle, there's always a level of force against which no tactics can succeed. For example, all I need to do is keep smacking you with Energy Drains, and soon you won't be able to cast any of your fancy spells at all. Energy Drain! Because yes, I am a sorceror - and this magic is in my bones, not cribbed off of "Magic for Dummies." [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown And I can keep casting the same friggin' spell at you until you roll over and die]]. [[WhenAllYouHaveIsAHammer You can have your finely-crafted watch - give me the sledgehammer to the face any day]]. '''ENERGY DRAIN!'''

->'''Ulia''': Aaaaah... their age, [[TheBeautifulPeople their beauty]], and their nobility unsettles you?\\

-->{{Traveller}} ''InterstellerWars'' .

->'''Ulia:''' Aaaaah... their age, [[TheBeautifulPeople their beauty]], and their nobility unsettles you?\\
'''[[RebelliousPrincess Miliana]]:''' No -- their [[CreativeSterility utter lack of achievement]]! You know, if I were eight hundred years old, I think I'd do more with my time than [[MedievalStasis sitting about on my derriere singing tra-la-la-lally]].
-->-- ''[[ForgottenRealms The Council of Blades]]''