History Quotes / HitlersTimeTravelExemptionAct

->Ach, another time traveler. [[IgnoredEpipheny I must have done something]] ''[[IgnoredEpipheny terrible]]'' [[IgnoredEpipheny in a past life to face so many assassins.]]

->'''Midnighter''': ...it was just this pathetic little man going of to meet his ultimately quite '''mundane''' fate...\\
'''Timecop''': It's '''always''' some pathetic little man. I seen ninety percent of the greatest scumbags in history up close, an' I can tell you: [[UsefulNotes/GenghisKhan Khan]], [[UsefulNotes/{{Cambodia}} Pol Pot]], [[UsefulNotes/{{Caligula}} Caligula]], [[UsefulNotes/TheSpanishInquisition Torquemada]], whoever, you look at any one of these worms an' you wonder how people didn't spot 'em a mile off. But they always end up on top anyhow, somehow...\\

->Time travel and Hitlers are always a bad combination.
-->-- ''[[http://www.webcomicsnation.com/andrew/bazillion/series.php?view=archive&chapter=19152&mpe=1&fromwhich=5 The Chronicles of William Bazillion]]''

->'''Assistant''': Did you find him?\\
'''UsefulNotes/AlbertEinstein''': Hitler is... [[RetGone out of the way]].\\
'''Assistant''': Congratulations, professor! With Hitler removed-\\
'''Einstein''': Time will tell. Sooner or later... time will tell...
-->-- [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_R6xCWcf_VU&t=27s the opening sequence]] to ''VideoGame/CommandAndConquerRedAlert'', paving the way for UsefulNotes/JosefStalin's invasion of Europe

->Ach, another time traveler. I must have done something '''terrible''' in a past life to face so many assassins.

->Shoot the dictator and prevent the war? But the dictator is merely the tip of the whole festering boil of social pus from which dictators emerge; shoot one, and there'll be another one along in a minute. Shoot him too? [[KnightTemplar Why not shoot everyone]] [[NotSoDifferent and invade Poland?]]

->Okay. If I kill Hitler, that will be good. Unless, by doing that, [[EverythingsDeaderWithZombies I somehow create zombie Hitler]]. What if it creates an alternate reality with twenty Hitlers? [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere I can't take this anymore! I'm going home to play]] UsefulNotes/{{Xbox}}.
-->-- '''Fafa''', ''WebOriginal/GloveAndBoots''

->'''Jane Goodall''': We have an alternate history, and time travelers are all over the place.\\
'''[[Series/CrocodileHunter Steve Irwin]]''': And we've killed a dozen Hitlers already! We're ''winning''!
-->-- ''Webcomic/IrregularWebcomic''

->'''Commander Badass:''' Ah, I'm a commanding officer a' th' Navy TIALS. Y'know, Time Air Land Sea. Th' government commissioned a handful'a platoons of us in th' future. Get t' jump back and punch Hitler, win [[UsefulNotes/TheVietnamWar Vietnam]], that kind of thing.\\
'''Jonesy:''' But... we ''didn't'' win Vietnam...\\
'''Commander:''' Yeeeaaaaah, The Man decided people couldn't handle a world where America took 'Nam an' they sent me back again to sabotage myself.\\
'''Jonesy:''' ''What?!''\\
'''Commander:''' Take a moment to imagine yer livin' in a world where th' ''Franchise/{{Rambo}}'' movies didn't get made.\\
'''Jonesy:''' (''thinks about it, looks horrified'')
-->-- ''WebComic/ManlyGuysDoingManlyThings''

->Time travelers! You can go back in time and fuck Hitler, but you can't kill him!
-->-- Unknown

->My mission is done. Future generations will be spared the horrors of that madman’s ambitions for all time.
-->-- '''Paul Driscoll''', triggering the rise of an even ''worse'' Fuehrer in ''Literature/WebersGermanyTheVeterinarianTotalitarian''

->"Listen, we went to dinner in Berlin in 1937, right? We didn't nip out after pudding and kill Hitler. I've never killed Hitler. And you wouldn't expect me to kill Hitler."
-->-- '''The Doctor''', ''Series/DoctorWho'', "Kill The Moon"

->"People don't like temporal interference. Remember the outcry when George Lucas changed history by making Greedo shoot first?"
-->-- '''Plan 7 of 9 from Outer Space'''

-->-- '''{{Creator/Tailsteak}}''', "Basic Time Travel Etiquette"

->Also, don't kill Hitler, even if it really seems like a good idea. Just trust me on this one.
-->-- '''[[http://tailsteak.com/archive.php?num=491 Basic Time Travel Etiquette]]'''

-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', "Kill The Moon"

->Apparently the Russians were not too happy I killed UsefulNotes/JosephStalin... The Americans not wanting World War Three, blamed the Hungarians... who had no capability to dispute, the Soviet Union declared war... however China joined the Hungarians... America saw this as their chance to get on the Russians' good side and ALSO went after China... And it became a mess... "

-->-- '''[[http://www.webcomicsnation.com/andrew/bazillion/series.php?view=archive&chapter=19152&mpe=1&fromwhich=5 William Bazillion]]'''

->'''Jane Goodall''': We have an alternate history, and time travelers are all over the place.
->'''[[Series/CrocodileHunter Steve Irwin]]''': And we've killed a dozen Hitlers already! We're ''winning''!

-> '''Pierre Chang (talking about [[TimeMachine the Orchid]]):''' It will allow us to manipulate time.
-> '''DHARMA Workman:''' And then what, you're going to go back in time and kill Hitler?
-> '''Pierre Chang:''' Don't be ridiculous. There are rules.
-->--''Series/{{Lost}}''

->''"Time travel and Hitlers are always a bad combination."''
-->--'''[[http://www.webcomicsnation.com/andrew/bazillion/series.php?view=archive&chapter=19152&mpe=1&fromwhich=5 William Bazillion]]'''

->''"Time travelers! You can go back in time and fuck Hitler, but you can't kill him!"''
-->--'''Unknown'''

->''"Also, don't kill Hitler, even if it really seems like a good idea. Just trust me on this one."''
-->--'''tailsteak.com''', ''Basic Time Travel Etiquette''

->'' '''11/21/2104''' ''
->'' '''At 02:21:30, [=SneakyPete=] wrote:''' ''
->''Vienna, 1907: after numerous attempts, have infiltrated the Academy of Fine Arts and facilitated Adolf Hitler's admission to that institution. Goodbye, Hitler the dictator; hello, Hitler the modestly successful landscape artist! Brought back a few of his paintings as well, any buyers?''

->'' '''At 02:29:17, [=SilverFox316=] wrote:''' ''
->''All right; that's it. Having just returned from 1907 Vienna where I secured the expulsion of Hitler from the Academy by means of an elaborate prank involving [[NoodleImplements the Prefect, a goat, and a substantial quantity of olive oil]], I now turn my attention to our newer brethren, who, despite rules to the contrary, seem to have no intention of reading Bulletin 1147 (nor its Addendum, Alternate Means of Subverting the Hitlerian Destiny, and here I'm looking at you, [=SneakyPete=]). Permit me to sum it up and save you the trouble: no Hitler means no Third Reich, no World War II, no rocketry programs, no electronics, no computers, no time travel. Get the picture?''
-->--'''[[http://www.tor.com/stories/2011/08/wikihistory International Association of Time Travelers: Members' Forum Subforum: Europe – Twentieth Century – Second World War - Page 263]]'''

->''"Shoot the dictator and prevent the war? But the dictator is merely the tip of the whole festering boil of social pus from which dictators emerge; shoot one, and there'll be another one along in a minute. Shoot him too? [[KnightTemplar Why not shoot everyone]] [[NotSoDifferent and invade Poland?]]"''
-->--'''Creator/TerryPratchett''', ''Discworld/LordsAndLadies''

->3 Possibilities:\\
A: Time travel is impossible\\
B: Future people are dicks\\
C: Future people are ''really'' bad at killing Hitler
-->--''SaturdayMorningBreakfastCereal''

->'''Steve Irwin''': And we've killed a dozen Hitlers already! We're ''winning''!
-->--''IrregularWebcomic''

->''"Ever wondered what a parallel universe you might be like? Well, stop wondering, because you’re just Hitler. Every parallel universe ever. You. Hitler. We can’t figure it out. Anyway, if you meet him in the next test, don’t kill him. I know, I know. But trust me, it’d be bad."''
-->--'''Unused Cave Johnson line''', ''VideoGame/{{Portal 2}}''

->'''Commander:''' Ah, I'm a commanding officer a' th' Navy TIALS. Y'know, Time Air Land Sea. Th' government commissioned a handful'a platoons of us in th' future. Get t' jump back and punch Hitler, win Vietnam, that kind of thing.
->'''Jonesy:''' But...we ''didn't'' win Vietnam...
->'''Commander:''' Yeeeaaaaah, The Man decided people couldn't handle a world where America took 'Nam an' they sent me back again to sabotage myself.
->'''Jonesy:''' ''What?!''
->'''Commander:''' Take a moment to imagine yer livin' in a world where th' ''{{Rambo}}'' movies didn't get made.
->'''Jonesy:''' [thinks about it, gets a look of horror on her face.]
-->--''WebComic/ManlyGuysDoingManlyThings''

->''If someone who knew the future, pointed out a child to you and told you that that child would grow up totally evil, to be a ruthless dictator who would destroy millions of lives... could you then kill that child?''
-->- '''Fourth Doctor''', ''Series/DoctorWho'', "Genesis of the Daleks"

->Let's see... You've got a time machine. I've got a gun. What the hell. Let's kill Hitler!
-->- '''Mels''', ''Series/DoctorWho'', "Let's Kill Hitler"

->"Okay. If I kill Hitler, that will be good. Unless, by doing that, [[EverythingsDeaderWithZombies I somehow create zombie Hitler]]. What if it creates an alternate reality with twenty Hitlers? [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere I can't take this anymore! I'm going home to play]] UsefulNotes/{{Xbox}}."
-->--'''Fafa''', ''WebOriginal/GloveAndBoots''

->"Apparently the Russians were not too happy I killed UsefulNotes/JosephStalin... The Americans not wanting world war three, blamed the Hungarians.... who had no capability to dispute, the Soviet union declared war.... however China joined the Hungarians... America saw this as their chance to get on the Russians' good side and ALSO went after China.... And it became a mess.... "
-->--'''Imca''', ''Roleplay/WeAreOurAvatars''

->'''Assistant''': Did you find him?
-> '''Einstein''': Hitler is... [[RetGone out of the way]].
-> '''Assistant''': Congratulations, professor! With Hitler removed-
-> '''Einstein''': Time will tell. Sooner or later... time will tell...
-> ''(Cut to opening sequence, depicting scenes from an even worse war against Stalin)''
-->-- Opening sequence to ''CommandAndConquerRedAlert''

->''Ach, another time traveller. I must have done something '''terrible''' in a past life to face so many assassins.''
-->--'''Hitler himself''' after killing a time traveller, ''SelfDemonstrating/{{Deadpool}} #26''

->''My mission is done. Future generations will be spared the horrors of that madman’s ambitions for all time.''
-->--'''Paul Driscoll''', triggering the rise of an even ''worse'' Fuehrer in ''WebersGermanyTheVeterinarianTotalitarian''.

->'''Midnighter''': ''...it was just this pathetic little man going of to meet his ultimately quite '''mundane''' fate...''\\
'''Timecop''': ''It's '''always''' some pathetic little man. I seen ninety percent of the greatest scumbags in history up close, an' I can tell you: [[UsefulNotes/GenghisKhan Khan]], [[UsefulNotes/{{Cambodia}} Pol Pot]], [[UsefulNotes/{{Caligula}} Caligula]], [[UsefulNotes/TheSpanishInquisition Torquemada]], whoever, you look at any one of these worms an' you wonder how people didn't spot 'em a mile off. But they always end up on top anyhow, somehow...''\\
'''Midnighter''': ''Because people want them there. Adolf got elected, let's not forget.''\\
'''Timecop''': ''True, Dave. [[HumansAreBastards People suck]]. [[TheDungAges The past sucks]]. But [[TheAntiNihilist that ain't no excuse for not trynna change the future]].''
-->--'''Creator/GarthEnnis'''' ''Midnighter''

->"Apparently the Russians were not too happy I killed Joseph Stalin... The Americans not wanting world war three, blamed the Hungarians.... who had no capability to dispute, the Soviet union declared war.... however China joined the Hungarians... America saw this as their chance to get on the Russians' good side and ALSO went after China.... And it became a mess.... "

'''Timecop''': ''It's '''always''' some pathetic little man. I seen ninety percent of the greatest scumbags in history up close, an' I can tell you: [[GenghisKhan Khan]], [[UsefulNotes/{{Cambodia}} Pol Pot]], [[EmperorCaligula Caligula]], [[UsefulNotes/TheSpanishInquisition Torquemada]], whoever, you look at any one of these worms an' you wonder how people didn't spot 'em a mile off. But they always end up on top anyhow, somehow...''\\

-->--'''Hitler himself''' after killing a time traveller, ''{{Deadpool}} #26''

-->--Imca, ''Roleplay/WeAreOurAvatars''

-->--Hitler himself after killing a time traveller, ''{{Deadpool}} #26''

-->Let's see... You've got a time machine. I've got a gun. What the hell. Let's kill Hitler!

-->'''Assistant''': Did you find him?
--> '''Einstein''': Hitler is... [[RetGone out of the way]].
--> '''Assistant''': Congratulations, professor! With Hitler removed-
--> '''Einstein''': Time will tell. Sooner or later... time will tell...
--> ''(Cut to opening sequence, depicting scenes from an even worse war against Stalin)''

"Apparently the Russians were not too happy I killed Joseph Stalin... The Americans not wanting world war three, blamed the Hungarians.... who had no capability to dispute, the Soviet union declared war.... however China joined the Hungarians... America saw this as their chance to get on the Russians' good side and ALSO went after China.... And it became a mess.... "

-->--''{{Lost}}''

-> '''Pierre Chang (talking about [[TimeMachine the Orchid]]):''' It will allow us to manipulate time.
-> '''DHARMA Workman:''' And then what, you're going to go back in time and kill Hitler?

-->--''{{Lost}}''

-->--'''TerryPratchett''', ''Discworld/LordsAndLadies''

----

-->--'''Unused Cave Johnson line''', ''[[{{Portal2}} Portal 2]]''

-->--'''[[http://www.abyssapexzine.com/archives/abyss-and-apex2007/wikihistory/ International Association of Time Travelers: Members' Forum Subforum: Europe – Twentieth Century – Second World War - Page 263]]'''

-->--'''[[http://www.abyssandapex.com/200710-wikihistory.html International Association of Time Travelers: Members' Forum Subforum: Europe – Twentieth Century – Second World War - Page 263]]'''

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