History Quotes / GameplayAndStorySegregation

->Much has already been made of the powerup mechanic: that Samus ''already has them all'' in her overnight bag but refuses to use them until her commanding officer--with whom she has surrogate daddy issues up the delicately sculptured arse--authorizes it. This leads to a rather notorious moment when Samus blunders through an extremely hostile atmosphere without protective clothing because [[GeneralFailure daddy didn't specifically order her to wear some]], putting her on the intellectual level of one of those robot vacuum cleaners. It's like every character put their retard hats on that morning by mistake: There's a mawkishly overdramatic scene in which a character sacrifices himself by [[YouShallNotPass bravely detaching and blowing up the entire Metroid wing of the spaceship with him inside]]. We'll let slide for now the issue of why exactly he had to be ''[[FailsafeFailure inside it]]'' to do this, but Metroids show up later on ''anyway'', so he might as well have just '''stuck yellow and black tape over the door''' for all the good it did!

->For the first time in the history of the series, the characters remember that they can do the same shit in cutscenes that they do in combat, and Yuna [[PrisonerOfZendaExit flies away from the wedding]] by [[SummonMagic summoning an Aeon]]. How fast would that have solved ''Final Fantasy VIII''? If instead of just ''talking'' to the Sorceress, you just pulled a [[CoolTrain Doomtrain]] '''[[AssShove right up her ass]]'''!
-->--- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' meditating on the difference between ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVIII'' and ''[[VideoGame/FinalFantasyX X]]''.

->Much has already been made of the powerup mechanic: that Samus ''already has them all'' in her overnight bag but refuses to use them until her commanding officer--with whom she has surrogate daddy issues up the delicately sculptured arse--authorizes it. This leads to a rather notorious moment when Samus blunders through an extremely hostile atmosphere without protective clothing because [[GeneralFailure daddy didn't specifically order her to wear some]], putting her on the intellectual level of one of those robot vacuum cleaners. It's like every character put their retard hats on that morning by mistake: There's a mawkishly overdramatic scene in which a character sacrifices himself by bravely [[YouShallNotPass detaching and blowing up the entire Metroid wing of the spaceship with him inside]]. We'll let slide for now the issue of why exactly he had to be ''[[FailsafeFailure inside it]]'' to do this, but Metroids show up later on ''anyway'', so he might as well have just '''stuck yellow and black tape over the door''' for all the good it did!

->Much has already been made of the powerup mechanic: that Samus ''already has them all'' in her overnight bag but refuses to use them until her commanding officer--with whom she has surrogate daddy issues up the delicately sculptured arse--authorizes it. This leads to a rather notorious moment when Samus blunders through an extremely hostile atmosphere without protective clothing because daddy [[GeneralFailure didn't specifically order her to wear some]], putting her on the intellectual level of one of those robot vacuum cleaners. It's like every character put their retard hats on that morning by mistake: There's a mawkishly overdramatic scene in which a character sacrifices himself by bravely [[YouShallNotPass detaching and blowing up the entire Metroid wing of the spaceship with him inside]]. We'll let slide for now the issue of why exactly he had to be ''[[FailsafeFailure inside it]]'' to do this, but Metroids show up later on ''anyway'', so he might as well have just '''stuck yellow and black tape over the door''' for all the good it did!

->''"Much has already been made of the powerup mechanic: that Samus ''already has them all'' in her overnight bag but refuses to use them until her commanding officer--with whom she has surrogate daddy issues up the delicately sculptured arse--authorizes it. This leads to a rather notorious moment when Samus blunders through an extremely hostile atmosphere without protective clothing because daddy [[GeneralFailure didn't specifically order her to wear some]], putting her on the intellectual level of one of those robot vacuum cleaners. It's like every character put their retard hats on that morning by mistake: There's a mawkishly overdramatic scene in which a character sacrifices himself by bravely [[YouShallNotPass detaching and blowing up the entire Metroid wing of the spaceship with him inside]]. We'll let slide for now the issue of why exactly he had to be ''[[FailsafeFailure inside it]]'' to do this, but Metroids show up later on ''anyway'', so he might as well have just stuck yellow and black tape over the door for all the good it did!"''

->''"For the first time in the history of the series, the characters remember that they can do the same shit in cutscenes that they do in combat, and Yuna [[PrisonerOfZendaExit flies away from the wedding]] by [[SummonMagic summoning an Aeon]]. How fast would that have solved ''Final Fantasy VIII''? If instead of just ''talking'' to the Sorceress, you just pulled a [[CoolTrain Doomtrain]] '''[[AssShove right up her ass]]'''!"''

->''"''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid'' was the K-T extinction asteroid of 3D gaming. Before it struck, warm-blooded gamers suffered under [[PolygonCeiling clumsy, lumbering games]] which were as three dimensional as the pyramids: they had depth but moved at the speed of continental drift and were visibly blocky from four miles away. ''Metal Gear'' kicked the entire industry in the ass, and to this day Psycho Mantis is the only individual who could convince many gamers to put the controller down for a second.''\\
''Unfortunately Creator/HideoKojima thought this was because he included a personalized ''War and Peace'' for every character... The [[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid4GunsOfThePatriots fourth game]] elevated video game meta-conflict by trying to [[SuckinessIsPainful defeat the player with relentlessly extended cut-scenes]] instead of bullets."''

->''"''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid'' was the K-T extinction asteroid of 3D gaming. Before it struck, warm-blooded gamers suffered under [[PolygonCeiling clumsy, lumbering games]] which were as three dimensional as the pyramids: they had depth but moved at the speed of continental drift and were visibly blocky from four miles away. ''Metal Gear'' kicked the entire industry in the ass, and to this day Psycho Mantis is the only individual who could convince many gamers to put the controller down for a second.''
->''Unfortunately Creator/HideoKojima thought this was because he included a personalized ''War and Peace'' for every character... The [[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid4GunsOfThePatriots fourth game]] elevated video game meta-conflict by trying to [[SuckinessIsPainful defeat the player with relentlessly extended cut-scenes]] instead of bullets."''
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-video-games-that-just-didnt-get-it-and-6-that-did/ "5 Video Games That Just Didn't Get (And 6 That Did)"]]

-->--- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]'' meditating on the difference between ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVIII'' and ''[[VideoGame/FinalFantasyX X]]''.

->''"''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid'' was the K-T extinction asteroid of 3D gaming. Before it struck, warm-blooded gamers suffered under [[PolygonCeiling clumsy, lumbering games]] which were as three dimensional as the pyramids: they had depth but moved at the speed of continental drift and were visibly blocky from four miles away. ''Metal Gear'' kicked the entire industry in the ass, and to this day Psycho Mantis is the only individual who could convince many gamers to put the controller down for a second.\\\
Unfortunately Creator/HideoKojima thought this was because he included a personalized ''War and Peace'' for every character... The [[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid4GunsOfThePatriots fourth game]] elevated video game meta-conflict by trying to [[SuckinessIsPainful defeat the player with relentlessly extended cut-scenes]] instead of bullets."''

->''"So [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVIII Zell]] is injured and we see Selphie try to fix him up with-- Oh God, a '''cure spell'''?! Nobody thought to do this when [[TheSpeechless Ward]] was bleeding out his throat? Nobody thought to cast a Full-Life spell on [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII Aeris]]?"''
-->-- '''Noah 'Spoony' Antwiler''', ''TheSpoonyExperiment''

->''Hey, is this Bob from the gameplay department? Yeah, this is Mike from the story department. Listen, I know the game's almost done, but I think we're actually gonna kill off the protagonist's [[LoveInterest girlfriend]]... uh... pretty early in the game, so you're gonna have to replace her after the [[AbandonedWarehouse warehouse scene.]] Uh, just some [[{{Redshirt}} disposable female character]] will be fine, [[{{Stripperiffic}} clothing is optional.]]''\\
-- '''Blimey Cow's''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLFu8i7j16k&list=UU0jIctUPBK6lHw4AYnGHvCA#t=160 "Five Problems with Modern Video Games"]]

->''"Obviously, it's hard to tell me what my character is like when ''I'm'' the one who's been controlling him. Is Franklin a gangbanger who dreams of more? Because I just watched him [[MoneyToThrowAway ditch a luxury yacht]] and [[DyingMomentOfAwesome throw himself into a shark mouth for a five-point achievement]]."''\\
-- '''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-things-critics-love-about-gta-v-that-actually-suck_p2/#ixzz2mTt9xBEL 5 Things Critics Love About GTAV (That Actually Suck)]]"

->''"Much has already been made of the powerup mechanic: that Samus ''already has them all'' in her overnight bag but refuses to use them until her commanding officer--with whom she has surrogate daddy issues up the delicately sculptured arse--authorizes it. This leads to a rather notorious moment when Samus blunders through an extremely hostile atmosphere without protective clothing because daddy [[GeneralFailure didn't specifically order her to wear some]], putting her on the intellectual level of one of those robot vacuum cleaners. It's like every character put their retard hats on that morning by mistake: There's a mawkishly overdramatic scene in which a character sacrifices himself by bravely [[YouShallNotPass detaching and blowing up the entire Metroid wing of the spaceship with him inside]]. We'll let slide for now the issue of why exactly he had to be ''[[FailsafeFailure inside it]]'' to do this, but Metroids show up later on ''anyway'', so he might as well have just stuck yellow and black tape over the door for all the good it did!"''\\
--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''' on ''VideoGame/MetroidOtherM''

Unfortunately Creator/HideoKojima thought this was because he included a personalized ''War and Peace'' for every character... The [[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid4GunsOfThePatriots fourth game]] elevated video game meta-conflict by trying to [[SuckinessIsPainful defeat the player with relentlessly extended cut-scenes]] instead of bullets."''\\
--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-video-games-that-just-didnt-get-it-and-6-that-did/ "5 Video Games That Just Didn't Get (And 6 That Did)"]]

->''"So [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVIII Zell]] is injured and we see Selphie try to fix him up with-- Oh God, a '''cure spell'''?! Nobody thought to do this when [[TheSpeechless Ward]] was bleeding out his throat? Nobody thought to cast a Full-Life spell on [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII Aeris]]?"''\\
-- '''Noah 'Spoony' Antwiler''', ''TheSpoonyExperiment''

Unfortunately Creator/HideoKojima thought this was because he included a personalized ''War and Peace'' for every character... The [[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid4GunsOfThePatriots fourth game]] elevated video game meta-conflict by trying to [[SuckinessIsPainful defeat the player]] with relentlessly extended cut-scenes instead of bullets."''\\

Unfortunately Creator/HideoKojima thought this was because he included a personalized ''War and Peace'' for every character, rather than just having good characters and letting you kill them. The rest of the series is summed up by the '[[BadEnding submit to torture]]' ending of the first game: Solid Snake saves the nerd who talks too much instead of his true love. ''[[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid2SonsOfLiberty Metal Gear Solid 2]]'' was the world's first tactical nagging simulator... The [[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid4GunsOfThePatriots fourth game]] elevated video game meta-conflict by trying to [[SuckinessIsPainful defeat the player]] with relentlessly extended cut-scenes instead of bullets."''\\

->''"Much has already been made of the powerup mechanic: that Samus ''already has them all'' in her overnight bag but refuses to use them until her commanding officer--with whom she has surrogate daddy issues up the delicately sculptured arse--authorizes it. This leads to a rather notorious moment when Samus blunders through an extremely hostile atmosphere without protective clothing because daddy [[GeneralFailure didn't specifically order her to wear some]], putting her on the intellectual level of one of those robot vacuum cleaners. It's like every character put their retard hats on that morning by mistake: There's a mawkishly overdramatic scene in which a character sacrifices himself by bravely [[YouShallNotPass detaching and blowing up the entire Metroid wing of the spaceship with him inside]]. We'll let slide for now the issue of why exactly he had to be ''[[FailsafeFailure inside it]]'' to do this, but Metroids show up later on ''anyway'', so he might as well have just stuck yellow and black tape over the door for all the good it did!"''
-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''' on ''VideoGame/MetroidOtherM''

-> ''"I've always said the best stories are the ones that merge seamlessly with the gameplay. And in ''VideoGame/{{Braid}}'' they're kept in separate rooms with you in the gameplay room looking into the story room through a tiny room in the dividing wall."''\\
-- '''Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw''', ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''

Unfortunately Creator/HideoKojima thought this was because he included a personalized ''War and Peace'' for every character, rather than just having good characters and letting you kill them. The rest of the series is summed up by the '[[BadEnding submit to torture]]' ending of the first game: Solid Snake saves the nerd who talks too much instead of his true love. ''[[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid2SonsOfLiberty Metal Gear Solid 2]]'' was the world's first tactical nagging simulator... The [[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid4GunsOfThePatriots fourth game]] elevated video game meta-conflict by trying to [[SuckinessIsPainful defeat the player]] with relentlessly extended cut-scenes instead of bullets."''
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-video-games-that-just-didnt-get-it-and-6-that-did/ "5 Video Games That Just Didn't Get (And 6 That Did)"]]

->''"If your narrative and your core mechanic are at odds with each other, then that means your [[PlayerCharacter main character]] is a hypocrite."''\\
--'''Walt Williams''', lead writer of ''VideoGame/SpecOpsTheLine'' (who was, curiously, talking about [[IntendedAudienceReaction deliberately embracing this trope]] for thematic effect).

--> ''"I've always said the best stories are the ones that merge seamlessly with the gameplay. And in ''VideoGame/{{Braid}}'' they're kept in separate rooms with you in the gameplay room looking into the story room through a tiny room in the dividing wall."''
--> - '''Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw''', ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''

--> ''"So [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVIII Zell]] is injured and we see Selphie try to fix him up with- Oh God, a cure spell?! Nobody thought to do this when [[TheSpeechless Ward]] was bleeding out his throat? Nobody thought to cast a Full-Life spell on [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII Aeris]]?"''
--> - '''Noah 'Spoony' Antwiler''', ''TheSpoonyExperiment''

--> ''"If your narrative and your core mechanic are at odds with each other, then that means your [[PlayerCharacter main character]] is a hypocrite."''
--> - '''Walt Williams''', lead writer of ''VideoGame/SpecOpsTheLine'' (who was, curiously, talking about [[IntendedAudienceReaction deliberately embracing this trope]] for thematic effect).

--> - ''''Walt Williams''', lead writer of ''VideoGame/SpecOpsTheLine'' (who was, curiously, talking about [[IntendedAudienceReaction deliberately embracing this trope]] for thematic effect).

--> ''"So [[FinalFantasyVIII Zell]] is injured and we see Selphie try to fix him up with- Oh God, a cure spell?! Nobody thought to do this when [[TheSpeechless Ward]] was bleeding out his throat? Nobody thought to cast a Full-Life spell on [[FinalFantasyVII Aeris]]?"''

-->''"What I'm saying is that I like games where the story and gameplay go hand in hand, while in most J[=RPGs=] story and gameplay are kept either side of a wrought iron fence made of tigers." ''

--> ''"I've always said the best stories are the ones that merge seamlessly with the gameplay. And in ''VideoGame/{{Braid}}'' they're kept in separate rooms with you in the gameplay room looking into the story room through a tiny room in the dividing wall."''
--> - '''Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw''', ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''

--> - '''Noah 'Spoony' Antwiler''', ''TheSpoonyExperiment''

--> - '''Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw''', ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''

--> - '''Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw''', ''WebOriginal/ZeroPunctuation''

--> - '''Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw''', ''ZeroPunctuation''