History Quotes / CurbStompBattle

'''Boomstick:''' It's time for [[SubvertedCatchPrase AQUAMAN'S FUNERAL!]]

'''Boomstick:''' It's time for AQUAMAN'S FUNERAL!

->Wiz: The combatants are set and we've run the data through all possibility. One. One possibility.\\
Boomstick: It's time for AQUAMAN'S FUNERAL!

-->-- ''Machinima/CivilProtection''

'''Space Narrator:''' Welcome to the heroic exploits of [[RecycledInSpace DAVE THE SPACE BARBARIAN!]]\\

'''Custodian-General''': ''[[FunWithSubtitles (hurts inside noise)]]'' I'm so confused....\\
'''Kaldor Draigo''': I must go. My people need meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..... ''(floats into the sky and vanishes)''\\
''[[{{Beat}} (several seconds pass)]]''\\
'''[[TheComicallySerious Rogal Dorn]]''': I suspect he was high on narcotics.

-->--]]''Creator/ImageComics Maestros]]''

'''ComicBook/TheMightyThor''': "Mayhap, woman." (flinging her beyond the horizon) "When icicles doth grace Surter's fiery realm."

->After travelling some distance he came to a field where a host of soldiers were lying dead. And he called: ''If there is any man left alive here, speak up and tell me: who killed all this mighty force?'' Just one man was left alive, and he answered. ''All this mighty force was killed by Maria Morevna, the beautiful queen.''

->''"Yamanaka Ino lay sprawled on the ground, swimming in and out of consciousness. She was barely aware of her victorious opponent dragging the forehead protector from her belt and tying it back in its rightful place atop a head of pink hair. The fight had been so short and brutal that Ino was wondering if she hadn't been tricked by a jounin in disguise. She didn't know if Sakura had been training behind her back, or if it was just the strength of pure fury, but Sakura had overcome her within seconds, smashing any fight from her body with brutal taijutsu that made a mockery of her defense. The few blows she'd managed to land hadn't even made her opponent flinch."''

->''"Beyond a certain point, there was simply nothing you could do; there was no brilliant plan you could draw up or cunning stratagem you could employ that would not seem laughably simple and unsophisticated to a profoundly more developed enemy."''

-->-- '''[[AnnouncerChatter The announcer]]''', ''NFL Blitz''

->''"This isn't a fair fight. This is barely exercise. You outclass every fighter that the Medusa's Head has to offer, battering them senseless without needing to concentrate. Did you pay that bill? When is the coalman coming tomorrow? Why are people giving you rostygold? Oh, that's right."''
-->-- '''Text upon succession of the "fight in the pit fight" challenge''', ''VideoGame/FallenLondon''

->I must say, [[WorldsStrongestMan Champion]], you are turning out to be a great disappointment to me. I really expected more of a challenge from you. Can you ''hear'' me under all that rubble?

-->--''Creator/ImageComics Maestros''

->"Battle, however, is an unlikely word for such a one-sided affair".

'''ComicBook/BlackCanary:''' Batman ''belted'' him-- and I ''missed'' it?!

->I was not as uninitiated to battles as you might assume due to my youth and the gentle reputation of my gender. [...] But until that day, I never saw anyone so unafraid of death that they understood in their heart and belly a simple and perfect truth-— There was no one alive stronger than them.

->[[SingleStrokeBattle It was over in a single strike]]. [[ArmorPiercingAttack Her Aura was shattered]], [[WhyWontYouDie all of her contingencies against death]] she'd picked up during the [[GroundhogDayLoop loops]] were circumvented with contemptuous ease and she was laid out on the ground, choking on the blood that filled her lungs through the holes that had been torn by the fragments of her shattered rib cage.

->''"The [[RapePillageAndBurn pirate raid]] on Mindoir came to a halt over the next twenty minutes. It was not a slow, grinding halt brought about by attrition, or a sporadic, jerking halt brought about by infighting, or even the panicked, terrified halt brought about by Alliance reinforcements.\\
It was the halt that came when a toy race car slammed headlong into a mack truck."''

->'''Loki:''' ''Enough!'' You are all of you beneath me. [[AGodAmI I am a god]], you dull creature. [[BullyingADragon And I will]] [[TemptingFate not]] [[BullyingADragon be bullied by--]]\\

->"I emerged as you see me [barely scuffed]. Mr. Woodley was taken home in a cart."

->''Alex realised that the fight was rapidly becoming a massacre. The invaders were better trained and better equipped. They'd had the advantage of surprise. And with all the defences down, the fort was nothing more than a killing ground.''

-->-- ''Text upon succession of the "fight in the pit fight" challenge'', ''VideoGame/FallenLondon''

-->-- Ray, Teodor, Lyle and Roastbeef [[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07052007 pay a visit]] to the [[DisproportionateRetribution inventor of Comic Sans]], ''Webcomic/{{Achewood}}''

-->-- ''ComicBook/Robin1993''

-->-- ''ComicBook/RobinSeries''

-->-- ''FanFic/NoGodsOnlyGuns''

-->-- '''The League of Villains''' discussing their successful killing of All For One, ''Fanfic/DekuIThinkHesSomePro''

-->-- ''Fanfic/{{Jericho}}''

->''"[[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech How does it feel to have your life slowly crushed by overwhelming force, with no hope of fighting back]]?"''

'''ComicBook/TheMightyThor:''' No. [[NoMoreHoldingBackSpeech It is only that in this time and this place, I am no longer holding back.]] Give your threats to those willing to obey, or too cowardly to fight back, not me. Or learn again the difference between a god of thunder... and a mortal man in a metal suit.
-->-- ''Thor''

-->--'''Perfect Cell''', after completely crushing Vegeta's body and [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech spirit]], ''WebVideo/DragonballZAbridged''

-->-- [[http://www.deviantart.com/art/Death-Battle-Paul-Blart-vs-Chun-Li-370358233 "Death Battle:]] [[Film/MallCop Paul Blart]] vs. [[Franchise/StreetFighter Chun-Li]]"

-->-- Usopp, after he and a camel got their asses kicked off-screen by [[DanceBattler Mr. 2 Bon Clay]], ''Manga/OnePiece''

-->-- '''Usopp'', after he and a camel got their asses kicked off-screen by [[DanceBattler Mr. 2 Bon Clay]], ''Manga/OnePiece''

'''ComicBook/TheMightyThor:''' No. [[WorldOfCardboardSpeech It is only that in this time and this place, I am no longer holding back.]] Give your threats to those willing to obey, or too cowardly to fight back, not me. Or learn again the difference between a god of thunder... and a mortal man in a metal suit.

'''Twice:''' Not to mention that you blew up his extra oxygen tank! So cool! [[ImmediateSelfContradiction That was below the belt!]]\\

'''Donatello:''' Maybe somebody should tell [Shredder] that... ''we're'' the good guys?

->'''Will:''' You know what's the coolest thing about being [[SorcerousOverlord Maestro?]] The badass upgrades. Check it out. [''sticks his finger into the crystal ball'']
->'''Babin Kuk:''' You will live out your days in my agony intensifier, boy! So swears [[EvilSorcerer Babin Kuk the Obdurate]]!
->'''Will:''' YO, MR COUNTRY-COMES-TO-TOWN... BUH-BYEEEE!
->[''Will's [[FingerPokeOfDoom now-gigantic finger]] descends from the sky and incinerates Babin Kuk with a blast of magic'']
->'''Will:''' Easy-peasy lemon squeezy. [''to Wren''] You wanna smoothie? Let's get a smoothie.

-->-- [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8204172/10/Strawhat-Theater-2-Our-Mrs-Monkey "Our Mrs. Monkey"]]

--->'''Mom''': What have you boys been up to all weekend?\\
---> '''Brak:''' We've been playing Headkicker.\\
--->'''Zorak:''' ''I've'' been playing. ''You've'' been getting a red-ass beatdown.\\