History Quotes / ComplexityAddiction

[[folder: Comic Books]]

[[folder: Fan Works]]

->'''Robin''': You dressed up as bats, just to rob a mall? Isn't that kind of...elaborate?\\

-->--''ComicBook/ScoobyDooTeamUp'', "Man Bat and Robbin'"

->''"Be careful, Maladi, that you do not scheme for scheming's sake. Do not become so enamored of your plotting that you lose sight of your goal."''

->"Do you know the utter joy of total power? I could turn you into protoplasmic slime if I so wished! But I believe watching you painfully die will be far more satisfying."

->'''Minion:''' Most revered leader Hokum, we have a rare opportunity at hand. With the rebel leadership and the [[ComicBook/{{Supergirl}} Kryptonian]] in our sights, is it out of bounds for me to suggest an option? A nuclear option perhaps?\\
'''Harry Hokum:''' It is a tempting thought, isn't it? But this is a chess game. And I am four moves ahead.
-->-- ''ComicBook/TheKillersOfKrypton''

->"At the time B.O.R.G. was recruiting beautiful women to seduce high-ranking generals so they could be blackmailed into dropping satellite A-bombs on the San Andreas Fault, thereby creating an earthquake which would inundate Silicone Valley. Realizing this plan was completely ridiculous, I enacted a more efficient strategy to eliminate the competition by selling quality products at lower prices than our rivals."

->“All I want to know is what this setup is all about,” said ComicBook/{{Supergirl}}. “If we’re going to be the main course for this [[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer vampire]] or whatever you’re going to be hosting, just call me curious.”\\
“Call you dead,” said the guy with the bucket, and drew a .38.\\
Vladislav slapped his hand, then slapped his face. “How many times do I got to tell you? How many times? How many?”\\
“No more, boss, no more,” pleaded the vamp. “I understand. I understand. I swear on my father’s coffin.”\\
The fangfather buried his hands in his underling’s turtleneck. “I don’t really have time for this aggravation, Lester. You got me?”\\
“Gotcha, boss.”\\
“I said we don’t shoot the women, and we don’t shoot the women. We need them for later. Got that?”
-->--''Fanfic/TheVampireOfSteel''

->[[ComicBook/LexLuthor He]] kicked out angrily at Franchise/{{Superman}}, dislodging him, and damned himself for not killing him during the month and days he had him helpless, damned himself for trying to eke the last bit of power from his body for its usefulness.
-->-- ''Fanfic/KaraOfRokyn''

-> "Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. I’ll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I’ll put that flea in a box, and then I’ll put that box inside of another box, and then I’ll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives … I’ll smash it with a hammer! It’s brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say! [[SubvertedTrope …Or, to save on postage, I’ll just poison him with this.]]"
-->--'''Yzma''', ''WesternAnimation/TheEmperorsNewGroove''

->''"Why did you have to make this so ''[[PrecisionFStrike fucking]]'' complicated?!"''
-->--'''August Walker'''/'''[[spoiler:[[TheMole John Lark]]]]''' to '''[[NotSoWellIntentionedExtremist Solomon Lane]]''', Film/MissionImpossibleFallout

->''"I've yet to encounter a situation that couldn't be improved by a copious amount of lies and body doubles."''
-->--'''Dread Emperor Traitorous''', ''Literature/APracticalGuideToEvil''

->Thirty two minutes to draw out blueprints for the pendulums and work out the sequence needed for best effect. Three hundred to three hundred and forty minutes of time to set it up. He could estimate costs north of eleven thousand dollars, not counting salaries. None of the materials were particularly expensive in and of themselves, and he had any number of businesses in his pocket where he could acquire those materials at a significant discount.

->'''Darien''': All right, so why don’t you just knock me out with a… Stun gun? Baseball bat? You know, what is it with all these complex plots? I mean, what, is it a Swiss thing? Is that what it is?\\
'''Arnaud''': You ''know'' I can’t just walk up to you and knock you out with a baseball bat. There are… variables.\\
'''Darien''': Don’t defend it. Please.\\

'''Arnaud''':--Admit what?\\
'''Darien''': You’re ridiculous. You are! I mean, you join the Q-Gland design team just so you can steal the design. You make me think Kevin’s alive so, what, I can lead you to some files. Hey, buddy, you could’ve found them on your own with a little research. Then you give me the flu so I could wind up in some hospital room and you can take the gland out of me? Douche, Rube Goldberg’s got nothing on you, pal.
-->-- ''{{Series/The Invisible Man}}'', ''Diseased''

-> Then how did I break into the bank, to the tower, to the prison? ''Daylight robbery!'' All it takes is a few willing participants! I knew you'd fall for it. That's your weakness, you always want everything to be clever.

'''Rich:''' Do they really need ''people''? Why can't they just go out into the jungle, capture a few bears, throw 'em into the temple? Then they get to fight [[BearsAreBadNews alien-bears.]]
-->-- ''[[WebVideo/HalfInTheBag Half in the Bag]]'' riffs ''Film/AVPAlienVsPredator''

->"Why can't we have a normal, straightforward killing once in a while in this country?"

->"(Yeesh, Rube Goldberg machines have less elaborate setups than [[spoiler:L'Belle's]] scheme...)"

->This is ''exactly'' the [[LampshadeHanging needless complexity]] you've come to expect from your sylladex!
-->-- '''The Narrator''' after [[IdiotHero John Egbert]] deliberately makes his inventory system impractical, ''{{Webcomic/Homestuck}}''

->'''Nale:''' I just need to devise some scheme, some elaborate machination, by which I could unearth more information concerning this [[CosmicKeystone gate]]...\\
'''(GilliganCut)'''\\
'''Roy:''' Can you tell us more about the gates?\\
'''Shojo:''' Sure.\\
'''Nale:''' Huh.
-->-- ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'', [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0378.html "He didn't even have to say please."]]

'''Moloch:''' Why don't we just move this winch? There should be enough cable, and it looks strong enough that we could lower ''everybody'' on a platform.\\
''[turns around and notices he's become the subject of several disapproving glares]''\\

'''Higgs''': I've seen this over and over! Damfool [[MadScientist Sparks]] who thing they've got to send a full-scale army of giant, singing rosebushes or it isn't romantic enough! Don't make everything so complicated! Here. Paper. Pen. Sit. Now. Write. Use the pen. On the paper. '''Tell''' her what you want to say.\\

->'''Red Mage:''' I know how we can free Fighter from his armoire-y prison! '''Behold!''' I will simply [[MinMaxing transfer all of my stat points into my INT rating]], invent, and master, quantum mechanics, and then construct a device that will '''redescribe''' the armoire's weight on a quantum level so we can move it off Fighter! The experience gained from such a well thought out plan would be '''astronomical!''' It's almost too easy.\\
''[...]''\\
'''Black Mage:''' I would like to interject some constructive criticism in regards to this alleged plan of yours, RM.\\
'''Red Mage:''' By all means.\\
'''Black Mage:''' First, and I mean this in '''all''' sincerity, you are an idiot. This plan, much like all your other ones, is unnecessarily complex unto impossibility. In conclusion, your intellect is lacking and your personal hygiene is poor.
-->-- ''WebComic/EightBitTheater'', [[https://www.nuklearpower.com/2002/09/09/episode-191-real-they-both-did-their-research/ episode 191]]

->''"Ridiculous machinations to accomplish nonsense easily done otherwise through ''ordinary'' means-- how like a young [[ScienceRelatedMemeticDisorder Spark]]. You are '''[[ActuallyPrettyFunny extremely amusing]].'''"''

-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/dark-eyes-4-master-of-daleks-written-by.html Joe Ford]]''' on AudioPlay/BigFinishDoctorWho, ''Dark Eyes 4: Master of Daleks''

-->--'''Chris Parry''' on ''Film/Speed2CruiseControl''

->Rather than dragging Wolverine's paralyzed ass back to his lab for immediate healing-factor theft, Yashida decides to [[BondVillainStupidity let Wolverine go]] and fakes his own death for no conceivable reason. Yashida even goes to the trouble of staging a huge public funeral for himself...There was literally no need for any of this other bullshit. This movie should've been the equivalent of Wolverine waking up in a bathtub full of ice without his kidney.
-->-- '''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''' [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21383_5-dumb-things-movie-characters-do-only-to-advance-plot.html on]] ''Film/TheWolverine''

->[[Franchise/SpiderMan Arcade]] doesn't murder people. He puts them in [[DeadlyGame Murdercade]]. It's a deadly but outrageously unexplainable high-tech fun fair that has yet to kill a single participant in the history of Creator/MarvelComics.
-->-- '''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}'''

->Anyway, this spurts [[ComicBook/ScarletSpider Kaine]] into going into the courtroom and [[MotiveRant confessing]] himself to, uh, killing a bunch of people because Peter Parker took a picture of him committing murder, so see, he hated him so much he had his fingerprints and DNA altered to match his and then [[MurderIsTheBestSolution killed a bunch more people]]. ''Of course!'' What’s sad is that events in the Marvel Universe had [[DorkAge gotten so stupid in general]] at this point that there was really no way for a reasonable judge to deny the story.
-->-- '''''Blog/ToplessRobot''''', [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/11/the_13_dumbest_spiderman_storiesjust_from_the_clon.php "The 13 Dumbest Spider-Man Stories...]] Just From ComicBook/TheCloneSaga"

->You just have to love the fact that {{Franchise/Superman}} doesn’t even give a problem a second thought before his mind goes right to, 'I know! I’ll do an elaborate ruse!' He’s gone the ruse route for so long he doesn’t know how to solve problems any other way, not even giving it a few more seconds’ thought to determine if the problem actually exists in the first place!
-->-- '''Brian Cronin''', [[http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/ Comics Should Be Good]]

-->-- Neal Bailey [[http://www.supermanhomepage.com/tv/tv.php?topic=reviews/smallville8-ep14 on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Requiem")

->'''[=GeneralIronicus=]:''' ''(as Snake)'' I forgot to mention -- [[BigBad my brother]]...[[HiddenDepths is a limbo master!]] That's how they decided primary elections in the future of ''Metal Gear''.\\
'''LetsPlay/ChipCheezum:''' Aside from expositioning.\\
'''Ironicus''': If it was ''all'' exposition, then we would have President [[DoubleReverseQuadrupleAgent Ocelot]] by now.\\
'''Chip:''' Every time there's, like, a State of the Union address, it'd just be him going ''(in Ocelot voice)'' "I tricked all of you, America! I tricked you into thinking that I tricked you! And then I tricked you again! Bet you didn't see ''that'' one coming!"\\
'''Ironicus (as Ocelot):''' Even '''''I''''' don't know how many times you've been tricked!\\
'''Chip (as Ocelot):''' I got a Trick-Diary!\\
'''Ironicus (as Ocelot):''' I tricked ''myself'' into tricking me to trick ''you'', to trick ''me'' to trick the Patriots!\\
'''Chip (as Ocelot):''' [[StupidEvil I can't do anything without tricking!]] I can't even ask for pepper without tricking them into giving me the pepper!
-->--'''[[http://chipandironicus.com/ Chip and Ironicus]]''' discussing [[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid4GunsOfThePatriots Revolver Ocelot]] becoming President

->Give [[Wrestling/JohnCena (John) Cena]] credit, though. He had access to [[ToiletHumor a giant trough of solid waste]] secretly suspended above the ring, but he had patience enough to [[WeWait wait until the end of a three-hour]] ''[[Wrestling/{{WWE}} Raw]]'' to pull the trigger (not that there are actual guns that fire poop, so excuse the metaphor), even letting the heels [[BullyingADragon cut a ten-minute long promo on him.]] Now that’s discipline! If I had the same [[DrunkWithPower power of crap]], I wouldn’t have lasted five minutes into the program without using it.
-->-- '''''{{Website/Wrestlecrap}}''''', [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/aj-and-dolph-are-poopy/ "AJ and Dolph are Poopy"]]

->(crossed out) 5. Attack with your turn 1 flyer buffed by infinite Rallies.\\
Too easy.\\
5. Draw your deck.\\
(crossed out) 6. Cast a card that wins the game.\\
What is this, "good combos 4 boring people"?\\
6, 7, 8. Play Altar for black mana, play Wishclaw Talisman and give it to your opponent, play Cavalier of Dawn to force your opponent to have a creature.\\
Now we're talking.
-->-- [[Website/{{Reddit}} /r/BadMtgCombos]], "[[https://www.reddit.com/r/BadMtgCombos/comments/gpoafw/how_to_win_turn_4_in_standard_and_still_be_bad/ How to Win Turn 4 in Standard and Still Be Bad]]"

->This is the episode in which the Doctor deduces the Cybermen's plans, a deduction never contradicted in the story, and they are rubbish. Their goal: To take control of the Wheel and use it as a base from which to launch the invasion of Earth. Fair enough. Step 1: Make a star go nova. 2. Smuggle yourself aboard a deserted ship full of bernalium and coast near the station (while sitting in big eggs for NO REASON WHATSOEVER). 3. Send over some Cybermats so they can eat all the bernalium on the Wheel. 4. Without bernalium, they can't fire their weapons, so if they didn't already destroy the derelict ship before the Cybermats could do their job, allow the Wheel crew to investigate and find bernalium aboard it. 5. Mind control the crew members and smuggle yourself aboard the Wheel. 6. Let the crew fix the laser and protect the station from the nova-created meteor storm. 7. Take control of the air supply and suffocate the crew. 8. Say to yourself how clever, clever, clever you are. There are a hundred ways this could have gone wrong even before the TARDIS landed aboard the Silver Carrier. Even Step 7 is overly convoluted. The Cybermen can kill you with one zap of their chest unit, or take control of your brain, or probably choke you out manually with their great strength. Once they get aboard the Wheel, why not just do that? The nova thing is complete overkill as well, and a complete contrast to the invasion force consisting of two whole Cybermen. Sometimes in episodic television, a plan will seem convoluted in retrospect yet seem to stand up on an episode-by-episode basis. But all unfurled in one go by the Doctor, as it is here, it really seems to work of a crackpot.
-->-- '''Siskoid''''s [[http://siskoid.blogspot.com/2012/06/doctor-who-210-wheel-in-space-part-5.html Blog of Geekery]], on ''Series/DoctorWho: [[Recap/DoctorWhoS5E7TheWheelInSpace The Wheel in Space]]'', Episode 5

->Two young star-crossed lovers should go on this romantic getaway, when love is forbidden and leads to the Dark Side? Oh wait--I guess Palpatine was the guy that initially suggested the idea, so he might've been usin' a trick of them or somethin'. Y'know, his grand plan was to cloud all their judgement and trick them into letting Anakin go with her because he knew Anakin was gonna fall in love, get Padme pregnant, then have premonitions of future pregnancy complications leading to her death so that Palpatine could tell Anakin to use the Dark Side to save her so Anakin could become Darth Vader and help Palpatine rule the empire. You'd think that if this guy could think that far into the future, [[CutLexLuthorACheck he'd just pick the Lotto numbers]]. ...But wait, [[DisneyVillainDeath if that were the case]]--! ..[[BellisariosMaxim ah, fuck it.]]
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/RedLetterMedia Mr. Plinkett]]''' on ''Film/AttackOfTheClones''

-> '''K. Rool''': KLUMPH! You need to devise a new [[ZanyScheme sneaky plan]] immediately!
-> '''Klumph''': [[StatingTheSimpleSolution You know, we could have just chased after them...]]
-> '''K. Rool''': Just do what I say! Don't question me!
-->-- ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gvPvQP5B9k Donkey Kong Country Abridged: Episode 2 - Ape Fool Young]]''

->Ah, my ridiculously circuitous plan is one-quarter complete!
-->-- '''Robot Devil''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''

->'''Megabyte''': Hexadecimal, you know the plan.
->'''Hexadecimal''': Which one? There seem to be several.
-->--''WesternAnimation/{{ReBoot}}'', "Web World Wars"

->President?! Do you know how much power I'd have to ''give up'' to be President? That's right, conspiracy buff. I spent $75 million on a fake Presidential campaign, ''all just to tick Superman off''.
-->-- '''Lex Luthor''', ''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeague Unlimited''

->Okay, let's get Operation Too-Complicated-To-Actually-Work underway.
-->-- '''Shego''', ''WesternAnimation/KimPossible'', "Ron-Millionaire"

->Anyway, once I recovered from the shock I did what I always do: solve a simple problem by inventing a complicated and menacing machine.
-->-- '''Heinz Doofenshmirtz''', ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb''

->'''Doofenshmirtz:''' As I get older, I find it gets harder and harder to read my small little wristwatch. I will launch Big Ben into space and fly it all the way out to the Tri-State Area!
->'''Agent Double 00:''' ...You realize you could just buy a bigger watch, or maybe a wall clock?
->'''Doofensmirtz:''' Yes, yes... but then I'd have to drive to a store, find a parking spot, and then choose from like dozens of styles. It just seemed like so much work. This would be much less complicated.
-->--''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb'', "Elementary, My Dear Stacy"

-> '''Duke Baloney:''' First, I'll take my shine money and buy a coal mine. Then, I'll stomp at the coal so hard, it turns to diamonds!\\

'''Duke:''' ''[Looks at Scrooge with confusion]'' Then, what would I use for the drill?

-> '''Little Brittle:''' Now kill me, quick!\\
'''Frylock:''' We're not going to kill you. The moral thing to do is to let you die naturally..alone, in a pile of your own filth.\\
'''Little Brittle:''' Look, it's easy. Just build a time machine, go back into prehistoric times with a satellite tracking device and a laser gun, blow up the comet, save all the dinosaurs so they don't die out and create fossil fuels, so there ain't no energy to feed my food tube.\\
'''Meatwad:''' Or we could just pull this plug right here.\\
'''Little Brittle:''' Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..do that!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/AquaTeenHungerForce'', ''Little Brittle''

[[folder:Real life]]

->The greatest enemy of a good plan is the dream of a ''perfect'' plan.
-->-- '''Carl von Clauswitz''', ''On War''

->''"Why do you have to make things so ''[[PrecisionFStrike fucking]]'' complicated?!"''

'''Little Brittle:''' Now kill me, quick!\\

-> '''Duke Baloney:'''First, I'll take my shine money and buy a coal mine. Then, I'll stomp at the coal so hard, it turns to diamonds!\\

->'''Robin''': You dressed up as '''bats''', just to rob a '''mall'''? Isn't that kind of...'''elaborate'''?\\
'''Fred''': Not compared to some of the crimes '''we've''' solved!\\
'''Robin''': Mm. Or some of '''our''' cases, now that I think of it.

->''"I’ve yet to encounter a situation that couldn’t be improved by a copious amount of lies and body doubles.”''
-->--'''Dread Emperor Traitorous''', Literature/APracticalGuideToEvil

[[folder:VideoGames]]

-->--Ema Skye, VisualNovel/ApolloJusticeAceAttorney (lampshading the frequent usage of this trope in Ace Attorney)

->'''Agent Double 00::''' ...You realize you could just buy a bigger watch, or maybe a wall clock?

-->-- '''Elementary, My Dear Stacy''', ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb''

'''Agent Double 00::''' ...You realize you could just buy a bigger watch, or maybe a wall clock?
'''Doofensmirtz:''' Yes, yes... but then I'd have to drive to a store, find a parking spot, and then choose from like dozens of styles. It just seemed like so much work. This would be much less complicated.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb'', ("Elementary My Dear Stacy")

->'''Robin''': You dressed up as '''''bats''''', just to rob a '''''mall'''''? Isn't that kind of...'''''elaborate'''''?\\
'''Fred''': Not compared to some of the crimes '''''we've''''' solved!\\
'''Robin''': Mm. Or some of '''''our''''' cases, now that I think of it.

-->-- ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'', [[https://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20200911 11 Sept. 2020]]

-->--''WebComic/EightBitTheater'', [[https://www.nuklearpower.com/2002/09/09/episode-191-real-they-both-did-their-research/ episode 191]]

-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TwoBestFriendsPlay Pat,]]''' while [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R318LQaGGbA playing through]] the [[SnarkBait infamous]] "electric fence" level in ''VideoGame/RideToHellRetribution''

-->--'''Yzma''', WesternAnimation/TheEmperorsNewGroove

-->-- '''Annika-709''', ''Plan 7 of 9 from Outer Space''

-->--'''Yzma''', Disney/TheEmperorsNewGroove

-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TwoBestFriendsPlay Pat,]]''' while [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R318LQaGGbA playing]] the [[SnarkBait infamous]] "electric fence" level in ''VideoGame/RideToHellRetribution''

-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TwoBestFriendsPlay Pat,]]''' while [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R318LQaGGbA playing]] the [[MemeticMutation infamous]] "electric fence" level in ''VideoGame/RideToHellRetribution''

->This is the most, like ''THE'' most, out-of-the-way, absurd solution to a problem that has an easy solution. Like, "Oh no, my coffee's cold! Why don't I blow up a country?"

-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TwoBestFriendsPlay Pat,''' while playing the [[MemeticMutation infamous]] "electric fence" level in ''VideoGame/RideToHellRetribution''

---'''Yzma''', ''Disney/TheEmperorsNewGroove