History Quotes / BunnyEarsLawyer

-->-- ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles'', "Death Masks"

-->-- '''Lestrade''', ''Series/{{Sherlock}}'', "A Scandal in Belgravia"

-->-- ''Series/TheXFiles'', "Bad Blood"

-->-- ''Series/{{MASH}}'', "The Incubator"

'''Bishop:''' He's not [[CloudCuckooLander some kind of madman]], is he?\\

->''He could have gone for General, but [[ScrewTheMoneyIHaveRules he went for himself instead]]. October 1967: On special assignment, Kurtz staged Operation Archangel with combined local forces. Rated a major success. He received no official clearance. He just thought it up and did it. What balls! They were gonna nail his ass to the floorboards for that one, but after the press got ahold of it, [[ArsonMurderAndLifeSaving they promoted him to Full Colonel instead]]. Ah man, the bullshit piled up so fast in Vietnam, you needed wings to stay above it.''

-->-- '''Yinsen''' on Tony Stark, ''Film/IronMan1''

->''1004. You may dress unconventionally, but remember, the more strangely you dress, the better you have to be.''
-->-- ''The Complete Life's Little Instruction Book''

->''Dennis Rodman is such an inhuman creature that he has to sit next to Carrot Top to convince adventurers that he's not a hobgoblin. He has so many piercings that metal detectors think he's kidding when he tries to take his dick through them. His colorful hairstyles have inspired thousands of gay children to become landscapers. All that being said, he was really good at basketball. Dennis Rodman could pull a rebound through a garden hose with his mouth.''

->'''the Land-Ho Prankster:''' Land Ho!\\

'''the Land-Ho Prankster:''' Psyche! Made you look, loser. Good thing there wasn't land or else you'd have to meet the natives with that mustard stain on your shirt.[points at Magellan's shirt]\\

'''the Land-Ho Prankster:'''[flicks Magellan's nose] Up! [blows raspberry]\\

'''the Land-Ho Prankster:''' Because I'm the best damn landspotter in all of Europe.\\

'''the Land-Ho Prankster:''' Yeah, I don't need you to tell me that.

->''I understand the technique of eccentricity; it would be futile for a man to labor at establishing a reputation for oddity if he were ready at the slightest provocation to revert to normal action.''
-->--'''Literature/NeroWolfe''', ''Fer-de-Lance''

-->-- ''Wiki/RationalWiki''

->''"Hide behind the mask of [[ObfuscatingStupidity a fool]], [[PlayingDrunk a drunk]], or [[ObfuscatingInsanity a madman]] to create confusion about your intentions and motivations. Lure your opponent into underestimating your ability until, overconfident, he drops his guard. Then you may attack."''
-->-- "Stratagem 27", ''UsefulNotes/TheThirtySixStratagems''

----

-->-- '''Dane Barrett''', ''Film/{{Ghostbusters 1984}}''

->''You're almost more trouble than you're worth. ''Almost.
-->-- '''Kent''' on his fellow knight [[ChivalrousPervert Sain]], ''[[VideoGame/FireEmblemElibe Fire Emblem: Blazing Sword]]''

-->--Chris Sims and David Uzumeri [[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-reviews-superman-the-movie-1978-part-one/ on]] ''{{Film/Superman}}''

->''The guy singing is a lawyer. This motherfucker is a lawyer. THIS. Motherfucker. Is a lawyer.''

->'''Watson''': I don’t think you need alarm yourself, I have usually found that there was method in his madness.\\
'''Inspector Forrester''': Some folk might say there was madness in his method.
-->--'''Watson''' and Inspector '''Forrester''' on Literature/SherlockHolmes.

->He was clearly a bounder and a cad. He seemed to think because he was the possessor of the finest legal mind ever discovered that gave him the right to behave exactly as he liked, and unfortunately he appeared to be right.
-->-- ''Literature/LifeTheUniverseAndEverything''

->'''Harry''': Bunny slippers and polka music.\\
'''Murphy''': Don't knock it. He's good at his job.
-->-- ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles'', "Death Masks"

->I'm surprised you can work this well when you're so [[DrunkenMaster drunk]].

->I may not look like it, but I '''am''' a professional!

->You know, you don't act like a scientist. You're more like a game show host.

->He could have gone for General, but [[ScrewTheMoneyIHaveRules he went for himself instead]]. October 1967: On special assignment, Kurtz staged Operation Archangel with combined local forces. Rated a major success. He received no official clearance. He just thought it up and did it. What balls! They were gonna nail his ass to the floorboards for that one, but after the press got ahold of it, [[ArsonMurderAndLifeSaving they promoted him to Full Colonel instead]]. Ah man, the bullshit piled up so fast in Vietnam, you needed wings to stay above it.

->If I had been that drunk I wouldn't have been able to stand, much less give a lecture on integrated circuits.

-->--Watson and Inspector Forrester on Literature/SherlockHolmes.

->For top-level work, you need Zero pilots. Such men are not bound by the same rules as the expendables. If one of them feels like having a few drinks to relax after a hard day's work serving Allah, so be it."\\
"To a war commander, the higher the skill level, the higher the tolerance for off-duty conduct. Your best sniper has a preference for little girls, your top chopper-pilot's hobby is rape - so what?
-->-- ''Another Life'' by Creator/AndrewVachss

->I understand the technique of eccentricity; it would be futile for a man to labor at establishing a reputation for oddity if he were ready at the slightest provocation to revert to normal action.
-->--Literature/NeroWolfe, ''Fer-de-Lance''

->This is just friendly advice, but give Sherlock five minutes on your crime scene and listen to everything he has to say. And as far as possible, try not to punch him.

->I think you're brilliant. But there is a fine line between brilliance and lunacy.

->Large intestine: 890 grams, [[BlahBlahBlah yada yada yada]]. Stomach contents show last meal close to the time of death, consisting of pizza. Topped with pepperoni, green peppers, mushrooms ... mushrooms ... That sounds really good.

->Historically, I've had this problem with authority--no offense--so I realized the only way I could get away with being me was to be as indispensable as possible.

->You will be dealing with a highly strung and temperamental team of rank amateurs who just happen to be brilliant at what they do.

->The son of a bitch is the best doctor we've got.

->Got your hands full with that one, eh, George?
-->-- [[AsHimself General Michael E. Ryan]] (the ''actual'' Air Force Chief of Staff at the time), to Maj. Gen. George Hammond regarding Jack O'Neill (again), "Prodigy", ''Series/StargateSG1''

->"Bunch of ineffectual fops? I've seen a group of Brionnian knights break off from singing songs about their ladies, slaughter a band of Beastmen, and then go back to singing songs whilst cleaning their weapons. Odd, certainly, but not ineffectual."

->You're almost more trouble than you're worth. ''Almost''.

->Look, the difference between you 'sane' and you 'crazy' is that you drive slightly faster.

->Despite his eccentricities and cynical… och, he'll appreciate the honesty… ''downright unpleasant personality'', [[SternTeacher Mr. Montag]] does more for the safety and development of his students [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold than he lets on]]. It's not an easy thing bringing these kids into a [[MagicalSociety world fraught with occult rites and secret handshakes]]: it takes a real bastard, even on the best of days. The competition for the most talented students, the petty jealousies and the ancient blood feuds between the most prominent institutions, and the more-and-less covert attempts at industrial espionage all take their toll… and of course, the deaths. Being responsible for every single life lost in the pursuit of knowledge [[DespairEventHorizon would break less than an arrogant man]]. At least he lets us deal with the parents now: after those first couple of [[SuperpowerMeltdown accidental self-immolations]], some thought it best we kept him away from grieving relatives.

->It seems you can't hire someone competent without them having an embarrassing hobby.

->People think I'm kidding when I tell them that the same guy who used a homemade grappling hook when the elevators were out is also the reason why this company is showing record profits.
-->-- '''Marcy''' on Rayne Summers, ''[[http://www.leasticoulddo.com/comic/20061102 Least I Could Do]]''

-->-- '''''Wiki/RationalWiki'''''

->If you’re looking for endless shots of dreadlocked men huffing smoke like desperate babies suckling on a green breast, then Music/SnoopDogg‘s ''Reincarnated'' is the documentary for you! Weed-obsession aside, it functions as a biography of a guy who’s led a super interesting life, although Snoop stopped being a real person somewhere around the late [[TheNineties nineties]]. Despite his status as [[AdamWesting a living cartoon]], the story of the night [[Music/TupacShakur Tupac]] got shot would make a fine audition piece monologue.

->There is something of a devil's bargain in the casting of Creator/TomBaker. The main brief for a new Doctor was that they wanted an eccentric. For a while the part was expected to go to an elderly actor, but eventually Bill Slater, Head of Drama at the BBC, pointed Letts towards Tom Baker as someone who was suitably crazy for the part. The problem with casting someone for their craziness, however, is that, well, [[ShapedLikeItself they're a bit crazy]].

->They spent a good chunk of the sixth season of the series testing the waters for a spinoff show, featuring a lineup of new ass-kicking female immortals who would become the next main character. None of the new characters tested well, though, and as a result the producers went back to [[AscendedExtra Amanda]] [Elizabeth Gracen], the likeable thief and on and off love interest of Duncan [=MacLeod=]. Amanda was beautiful, clever, witty, and had been a fan favorite for six years. The big question was, why did the producers waste so many episodes trying to find an ass-kicking female immortal when they already had Amanda?\\\
The answer, it seems, is this: Elizabeth Gracen was '''fucking insane'''.

->Dennis Rodman is such an inhuman creature that he has to sit next to Carrot Top to convince adventurers that he's not a hobgoblin. He has so many piercings that metal detectors think he's kidding when he tries to take his dick through them. His colorful hairstyles have inspired thousands of gay children to become landscapers. All that being said, he was really good at basketball. Dennis Rodman could pull a rebound through a garden hose with his mouth.

-->-- '''''Website/UrbanDictionary''''' on Kobe Bryant

->I get why you might wear out after having [[DrillSergeantNasty Captain Jawclench]] as the head man for four years. But this man is a football coach, and football coaches are, by their very nature, insufferable. They work endless hours. They are humorless and often distant and aloof. They are endlessly demanding. Only a batshit crazy person would thrive in that job, and so Jim Harbaugh fits into the mold nicely.

->In [[UsefulNotes/TheSixties 1966]], when most black people in the U.S. couldn’t even be assured of their voting rights because [[UsefulNotes/CivilRightsMovement the Civil Rights war]] was still being fought, a New York Jew was writing about a brilliant black biochemist hanging out with the Avengers. Whatever else I have ever written, or will write, about Creator/StanLee’s writing prowess, I’ll say this: the man has balls of steel and a heart of gold.

->In his personal life, he failed. In his books, he succeeded. I wouldn’t want to share a tent with the guy, but then I probably wouldn’t enjoy the books of a guy that always picks up after himself, pays his bills on time and never plays his music too loud quite as much.

-->-- '''''Website/{{Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20985_5-famous-movies-that-were-insane-parties-behind-scenes.html#ixzz30sGVt6SN "5 Famous Movies That Were Insane Parties Behind the Scenes"]]

->There's only one thing handicapping Heinlein's books.\\\

''Starship Troopers'' is probably Heinlein's tamest novel in terms of expressing his controversial views... ''Literature/ThePuppetMasters'' gets rather comical by introducing an alien threat that eventually requires the world to walk around entirely naked.

->The doctor has prosthetic arms, no shirt, and lives on his yacht-clinic.

->''"Creator/AlanMoore is one of the most famous and influential writers in comics; so much so, that introducing him to a crowd to of... 'enthusiasts of pop-culture esoterica' is almost seems almost redundant. He is a [[BlackMagic practicing occult magician]], he [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} worships an ancient Roman snake puppet]], and [[ComicBook/VForVendetta his works]] [[TheRedStapler may or may not have given fuel to the fire of]] [[AnarchyIsChaos the global 'Occupy' movement]]."''

->While [[Creator/WilliamShatner Shatner]] is often mocked as a ham actor, the quiet way he expresses ''[his grief]'' shows that while, yeah, sometimes he's the guy that screams 'Khan,' sometimes he's the also the guy that can scream even louder [[TranquilFury without going above a whisper.]]

->The guy singing is a lawyer. This motherfucker is a lawyer. THIS. Motherfucker. Is a lawyer.

-->-- '''WesternAnimation/{{Fillmore}}'''

-->-- '''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''

->Jefferson is a slender man, has rather the air of stiffness in his manner. His clothes seem too small for him... His whole figure has a loose, shackling air. He had a rambling, vacant look, and nothing of that firm collected deportment which I expected would dignify the presence of a secretary or minister. I looked for gravity, but [[BrilliantButLazy a laxity of manner]] seemed shed about him. He [[YouTalkTooMuch spoke almost without ceasing]]; but even his discourse partook of his personal demeanor. It was loose and rambling; and yet he scattered information wherever he went, and some even brilliant sentiments sparkled from him.

->The barbiturate Nembutal and vodka are a lethal combination and [[FunctionalAddict they did his brain no good.]] But the writing was often still marvelous; also, [[DrunkenMaster more adventurous]] than before. Many critics hoped, even prayed that this was a final falling off from his so unbearable to so many of them greatness. But the talent endured.

->People would ask me, "How come you stayed with her so long?" and my joke was, "Because [[GallowsHumor nobody could make the speech, "Miss Garland will not appear tonight," better than I could.]] Judy loved that; she had a laugh like a horse... but she could suck your blood. I used to come home drained, and my wife would say, "How can you do it?" Every night, it was like waiting for a hanging; we never knew what the hell was going to happen.

->People will tolerate how unpleasant you are if your work is good and you deliver it on time.

->If you're going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you're going to be locked up.

->She can knock 'em back. She's pretty immature for a news woman.

->[[ThirdPersonPerson Ric Flair]] had a lot of fun, and he was a great wrestler; but he had a ''lot'' of issues, and he was a selfish person.

->No one ever questions the disorder behind her tarantula LA glamour--sociopathy, narcissism--because it’s good rock and roll, good entertainment! I have a low tolerance for manipulative, egomaniacal behaviour, and usually have to remind myself that the person might be mentally ill.

->He may be [[TheBore a bore]], he may be [[DirtyOldMan a creep]], he may [[ThePrimaDonna act childish about the Academy Awards]] -- but there is no one else who could have played that scene flat-out, no holds barred, the way he did, and make it work triumphantly.

->He was our friend, but most of the time [[Music/PinkFloyd we]] now wanted to strangle him.

->'''Scully:''' First of all, if the family of Ronnie Strickland does indeed decide to sue the FBI for--I think the figure is $446 million--then you and I both will most certainly be co-defendants and second of all, ''(beat)'' [[SoGoodWeMentionedItTwice I don't even have a "second of all", Mulder]]. $446 million. I'm in this as deep as you are and I'm not even the one that overreacted. I didn't do the ''(makes a stabbing motion)'' with the thing.\\

-> '''General Deckter:'' Aaand being that we are all big Creator/MelGibson film fans, we thought maybe you could help us.\\

'''Mel Gibson:''' How about this? You have that tape that the terrorists made, right? Well, maybe if you did a background check on that videotape, you might find somebody who doesn't belong. Somebody who doesn't fit in Imaginationland! '''[twists his nipples again]''' Ohhh!\\

-->-- '''Yinsen''' on Tony Stark, ''Film/IronMan''

->Despite his eccentricities and cynical… och, he'll appreciate the honesty… ''downright unpleasant personality'', [[SternTeacher Mr. Montag]] does more for the safety and development of his students [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold than he lets on]]. It's not an easy thing bringing these kids into a [[MagicalSociety world frought with occult rites and secret handshakes]]: it takes a real bastard, even on the best of days. The competition for the most talented students, the petty jealousies and the ancient blood feuds between the most prominent institutions, and the more-and-less covert attempts at industrial espionage all take their toll… and of course, the deaths. Being responsible for every single life lost in the pursuit of knowledge [[DespairEventHorizon would break less than an arrogant man]]. At least he lets us deal with the parents now: after those first couple of [[SuperpowerMeltdown accidental self-immolations]], some thought it best we kept him away from grieving relatives.