History Quotes / ArsonMurderAndJayWalking

-->-- [[YouTubePoop ''Robotnik Says the N-word'']]

->'''Sayaka''': Woah! We could wish for treasure, or eternal youth, or a 108-course banquet!\\
'''Madoka''': Maybe that last one's a bit much...
-->-- ''Anime/PuellaMagiMadokaMagica'', discussing wishes.

->'''Wanda:''' What’s this?\\
'''Hammy:''' My Halloween costume wish list. They’re the scariest costumes I could think of.\\
'''Wanda:''' Vampire… zombie… ''MATH TEACHER??''\\
'''Hammy:''' Long division gives me the willies.
-->--''ComicStrip/BabyBlues''

->''"Normally, I would not condone any meddling between two separate realities. You never know what that sort of thing might lead to: injuries, death, the end of the universe as we know it, badly written teenage drama..."''
-->-- '''Iroh''', ''Fanfic/BringMeAllYourElderly''

-> ''We've done a lot of things we're not proud of...Robbing graves, plundering tombs, double-parking...But nobody ever got hurt. Well, maybe somebody got hurt ... but nobody we knew.''
-->-- '''Vinny Santorini''', ''WesternAnimation/AtlantisTheLostEmpire''

-> '''Dracula:''' …and then the monsters ran away and were forced into hiding, but Harry the human found them, and jumped out from under their beds!\\

->''"They rot, the world rots. Global warming, black plague, bad cell reception, get it?"''
-->--'''Proctor''', ''Film/{{RIPD}}''

->'''Kaz''': Do you know what Van Eck's problem is?
->'''Matthias''': No honor?
->'''Nina''': Rotten parenting skills?
->'''Jesper''': Receding hairline?
-->-- ''[[Literature/SixOfCrows Crooked Kingdom]]''

->''Southern Nigeria isn't my favorite place in the world. It's unstable, it's corrupt, and the people there eat a lot of terrible-smelling preserved fish.''
-->-- '''Michael Westen''', ''Series/BurnNotice''

->'''Emmett:''' Therefore malum in se...?
->'''Elle:''' Is an action that is evil in itself. Assault, murder, white shoes after Labor Day.
-->-- ''Theatre/LegallyBlonde''

->''Tell me, Bats, what are you really scared of? Failing to save this cesspool of a city? Not finding the commissioner in time? Me, in a thong?''
-->-- '''[[Characters/BatmanArkhamSeriesTheJoker The Joker]]''', ''VideoGame/BatmanArkhamAsylum''

->...these equine beauties are often vital to the hero’s quest, making it possible to reach hidden lands, slay hideous monsters, or just carry enough supplies for a month’s worth of second breakfasts.

->ah yes, the three most historically important revolutions: [[UsefulNotes/RedOctober russian]], [[UsefulNotes/TheFrenchRevolution french]], and [[VideoGame/DanceDanceRevolution dance dance]]
-->-- '''Website/{{Tumblr}} [[https://cdn.historydaily.org/content/53339/70f513ce0bb6cb95403ecc0502536701.jpg post]]'''

->''I always thought that all princesses, by nature, are beautiful. [[IAmNotPretty I guess not]]. I always assumed that all princesses would meet their PrinceCharming and fall in love instantly. [[InsecureLoveInterest Nope]]. I always thought bell peppers were vegetables.... I was pretty sure about that one too...''
-->--'''Princess Gwendolyn''', ''Webcomic/CursedPrincessClub''

-> ''If you don't want your city destroyed, you'll give in to my demands. The city will declare me ruler, the Titans will surrender, and Robin...will take this lovely young lady to her junior prom.''
-->-- '''Killer Moth''', ''WesternAnimation/TeenTitans2003'' (TheAnimatedSeries)

-> ''That’s 522 wallets, 391 purses, 912 gold coins, and a yo-yo!''

-> ''Perry the Platypus!? The Disintevaporator?! My golf clubs?! I don’t even play golf!''

->''Lincoln Sternn. You stand here accused of ''twelve'' counts of murder in the first degree, ''fourteen counts'' of armed theft of Federation Property, ''twenty two'' counts of piracy in high space, ''eighteen'' counts of fraud, ''thirty seven'' counts of rape...and one moving violation.''
-->-- '''Prosecutor:''', ''WesternAnimation/HeavyMetal''

->''"He's taken my keys, and my wallet... oh my God, and my cheesy ''Wotsits''. I don't believe it."''

-->--'''Mr. Octopus''', [[Literature/AdventuresOfDunno Dunno on the Moon]]

-->-- [[WebAnimation/YouTubePoop ''Robotnik Says the N-word'']]

->''I would say that a modernist in government is an anarchist and Bolshevik; in science he is an evolutionist; in business he is a Commmunist; in art a futurist[[note]][[GetTheeToANunnery this meant "fascist" in those days]][[/note]]; in music his name is jazz; and in religion an atheist and infidel''

-->-- '''Killer Moth''', ''WesternAnimation/TeenTitans'' (TheAnimatedSeries)

-->-- '''[[VideoGame/HalfLife Gordon Freeman]]''', ''Machinima/FreemansMind''

->''I'm all alone! Adrift at sea! ...Without breakfast."''

-->-- '''Owen''', ''WesternAnimation/TotalDrama'', "[[Recap/TotalDramaCampCastaways Camp Castways]]"

-->-- '''Owen,''' ''WesternAnimation/TotalDrama''

-->-- '''TheJuggernaut''', ''WebVideo/MyWayEntertainment's GagDub of WesternAnimation/XMen''

->''I love how every other sentence is about how Ron fails at something. He's a drunk! He hits his wife and kids! He's a rapist! He sleeps with whores! He's cheap! He kills birds! HE DOESN'T APPRECIATE CLASSICAL MUSIC!''
->[...]
->''I'm kind of disappointed that Ron didn't call Hermione a mudblood, turn out to be a Death Eater, molest children, engage in sexual acts with a pony, kill an endangered species, discourage his children from learning, litter, smoke, eat opium, take too many diet pills in order to cram for a big test, cheat at cards, cheat on his taxes, plagiarize, dip snuff, cross-dress, turn out to be gay, blackmail his gay lover, lead a religious cult, spread vicious rumors, sleep with Ginny, gamble, fail to recycle, have a porn addiction, join a Satanic church, and claim to "not get" Impressionism.''

-->-- '''Merasmus''', ''FanFic/JusticeSocietyOfJapan''

-->-- '''Iroh''', ''FanFic/BringMeAllYourElderly''

-->-- '''Amanda Ripley''', ''Series/GirlsOnTop'', "Four-Play".