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* {{Yandere}}: [[https://notalwaysright.com/hell-hath-no-fury-like-a-homewrecker-scorned/209349/ This bank teller]] tries to financially ruin a customer by falsely claiming he threatened her with a gun, resulting in his account being frozen, because he rejected her attempts to flirt with him.
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[[/folder]]
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Adding a note to preempt further misinterpretations of No Real Life Examples Please and In Universe Examples Only.
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%%For tropes where Administrivia/NoRealLifeExamplesPlease or Administrivia/InUniverseExamplesOnly apply, please remember, this is a work portraying real life, which is explicitly protected by the first paragraph of No Real Life Examples, Please.
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/taxing-taxing-part-7/207536/ This cashier]] doesn't seem to understand the concept of sales tax, repeatedly insisting that the submitter's meal costs "$11 plus tax" rather than telling them the actual total amount with tax included. The shop's owner is not amused.
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** In [[https://notalwaysright.com/but-the-cheese-is-right-there/199724/ this]] story, the customer orders bacon and cheese fries, but only gets cheese. The cashier ''and'' the manager keep thinking that he's referring to the cheese and point out that it's on there already despite the customer outright asking where the ''bacon'' is. The manager just tells the cashier to get him a new order while saying that he doesn't "feel like dealing with this right now", implying that he still doesn't get it.
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** [[http://notalwaysright.com/infinitely-loopy-part-21 Taken to the extreme here]]. The caller tries to get her problem reassigned to another IT Manager, because the current one is on vacation. The help desk person ''repeatedly'' says that the away manager is already assigned to the case, and ''not once'' seems to understand what the caller is actually saying.
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** [[http://notalwaysright.com/infinitely-loopy-part-21 [[https://notalwaysright.com/infinitely-loopy-part-2/57885/ Taken to the extreme here]]. The caller tries to get her problem reassigned to another IT Manager, because the current one is on vacation. The help desk person ''repeatedly'' says that the away manager is already assigned to the case, and ''not once'' seems to understand what the caller is actually saying.
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/look-hus-talking/184140/ And an example]] that involves someone actually named "Hu".
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* ThreatBackfire: [[https://notalwaysright.com/ultimatum-results-in-ultimate-victory/146804/ This vice-principal]] threatens to quit if the IT guy isn't fired. The principal accepts his resignation.
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This may not be the best trope, but it was the first that came to mind after seeing the story.
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* TooIncompetentToOperateABlanket: The boss in [[https://notalwaysright.com/printing-his-own-settlement/176713/ this story]] accuses the OP of "sabotaging the company" while he's on vacation and ends up being on the losing end of a massive unlawful termination and discrimination lawsuit thanks to leaving threatening messages on the OP's voice mail. What was the "act of sabotage?" ''The printer needed more paper''!
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-broad-definition-of-fraud/174298/ This bank manager]] is told repeatedly by the submitter that the "fraudulent" purchases that prompted his branch to freeze their account were theirs, yet still insists the purchases were fraudulent ''[[IgnoredEpiphany even after agreeing that the submitter spending their own money isn't fraud]]''. And then he's surprised that the submitter wants to [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere close their account]] due to not only this but the bank's failure to make sure the purchases were actually fraudulent before freezing the account, the fact the account was frozen ''without disputing the "fraudulent" purchases'', and the fact '''''a check cleared despite the freeze'''''.
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* VillainWithGoodPublicity: The horrid manager in [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-epic-of-the-impossible-store/172885/ this story]] has convinced her employees that corporate denied them their bonuses and she was fighting to get them back, when in reality it was the other way around - the manager stole the bonuses and corporate was investigating her. She even got them to quit on the acting managers coming in to try and salvage the trainwreck she'd turned the store into.
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* WalkingTechbane: [[https://notalwaysright.com/makes-you-want-to-stick-your-head-in-a-bowl-of-rice/171501/ This submitter]] starts the story off with a list of various phone problems from over the years.
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* TamponRun: [[https://notalwaysright.com/feminine-hygiene-meets-masculine-toxicity/171499/ This story]] has the submitter getting tampons for his wife, but the cashier (initially) refuses to sell them to him because he is male and [[OneSideOfTheStory refuses to listen to his explanations that they're for his wife]].
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** The manager at [[https://notalwaysright.com/fraud-and-babies-dont-mix/171467/ this bank]] appears to have it, since when she was off work to have her baby, nobody had been assigned to replace her, and the rest of the staff are obliviously running around like headless chickens because there's no manager, allowing the submitter's money to be stolen. ([[NeverMyFault But it's not their fault!]] [[InsaneTrollLogic Their manager had a baby!]])
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/laughing-over-this-stuff-is-a-minefield/155609/ This genius soldier]] manges to corner himself with ''landmines''. Fortunately he's extricated without coming to harm (aside from taking a verbal dressing-down by his commanding officer).
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/laughing-over-this-stuff-is-a-minefield/155609/ This genius soldier]] manges manages to corner himself with ''landmines''. Fortunately he's extricated without coming to harm (aside from taking a verbal dressing-down by his commanding officer).
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/holding-on-to-that-bakers-dozen/169400/ A 32-year old new hire in this story]] is adamant that 6 x 2 = 13 despite two other people and two calculators telling her the answer is 12.
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* WhoWatchesTheWatchmen: [[https://notalwaysright.com/who-inspects-the-inspectors/169398/ Invoked by the title in this story]] where a safety inspector is scheduled for an investigation on Friday but decides to spontaneously arrive on a Wednesday. He is told to return on Friday as the pregnant submitter and her co-worker who recently had surgery are the only ones on site and can't move the refrigerator to access the false wall hiding the water heater he needs to look at. He has a fit and berates the submitter. However, it ends with an OffscreenMomentOfAwesome for a customer who reports him to his company.
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/will-need-some-stress-medications-after-this/64622/ This other receptionist]] put a note in a patient's file that they needed to make an appointment to see the doctor before they could get some medication. Normally that would be fine, except that she's also under the delusion that because the note is in the patient's file, the patient should be magically aware of it immediately (nevermind the fact that the file isn't in a public system). Then, when the receptionist denies the patient immediate access to the doctor, and the patient points out that they're on a special list on the wall immediately behind the desk guaranteeing them a meeting with the doctor without an appointment, the receptionist doesn't believe them and shouts at them instead. Fortunately this attracts the doctor, who when the receptionist refuses to back down has security remove her, while continuing to scream that she put a note in the file.
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---> The flight he was booked on—but had to cancel—was [[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pan_Am_Flight_103 Pan Am 103]].
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---> The flight he was booked on—but had to cancel—was [[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pan_Am_Flight_103 Pan Am 103]].
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** [[http://notalwaysright.com/how-to-win-the-war-against-telemarketers-part-7 This Indian Telemarketer]] doesn't seem to understand that the family he's repeatedly calling is not interested in what he's selling despite the numerous time they insult him and threaten to call the police. The Telemarketer finally stop after the police contacted his superiors.
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** [[http://notalwaysright.com/how-to-win-the-war-against-telemarketers-part-7 This Indian Telemarketer]] doesn't seem to understand that the family he's repeatedly calling is not interested in what he's selling despite the numerous time times they insult him and threaten to call the police. The Telemarketer telemarketer finally stop stopped after the police contacted his superiors.
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* WhamLine: At the end of [[https://notalwaysright.com/analyse-this-i-quit/119844/ this story]]:
--> Oh, and did I mention the boss was my step-dad?
--> Oh, and did I mention the boss was my step-dad?
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* WhamLine: WhamLine:
** At the end of [[https://notalwaysright.com/analyse-this-i-quit/119844/ this story]]:
--> ---> Oh, and did I mention the boss was my step-dad?
** At the end of [[https://notalwaysright.com/analyse-this-i-quit/119844/ this story]]:
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--> The flight he was booked on—but had to cancel—was [[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pan_Am_Flight_103 Pan Am 103]].
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** One for [[https://notalwaysright.com/tablecloth-that-discussion/ this submitter]] after explaining her side of the situation to the general manager (and what saves her job):
--->'''General Manager:''' You do know that our security system records audio, don’t you?
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** [[http://notalwaysright.com/your-math-is-my-gain Here's one]] that doesn't understand subtraction.
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/makes-a-difference-when-cashiers-are-minus-a-few-brain-cells Here's another]].
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/makes-a-difference-when-cashiers-are-minus-a-few-brain-cells Here's another]].
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** [[http://notalwaysright.com/your-math-is-my-gain Here's one]] that doesn't understand subtraction.
subtraction, and hands the submitter $5 more than what they were supposed to.
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/makes-a-difference-when-cashiers-are-minus-a-few-brain-cells Here'sanother]].another]], who even complains about subtraction being "hard".
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/makes-a-difference-when-cashiers-are-minus-a-few-brain-cells Here's
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** [[http://notalwaysright.com/pig-headed-about-the-sign Despite the US Navy]] telling their cooks to put meat signs on their food so their Arabic guests won't accidentally eat food that is against their religious beliefs, one cook doesn't understand why he has to put a sign on his Calicon corn despite the fact the dish contains pork.
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** [[http://notalwaysright.com/pig-headed-about-the-sign Despite the US Navy]] telling their cooks to put meat signs on their food so their Arabic guests won't accidentally eat food that is against their religious beliefs, one cook doesn't understand why he has to put a sign on his Calicon Calico corn despite the fact the dish contains pork.pork.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/gluten-intolerance-versus-gluten-ignorance/63461/ This waitress]] apparently cannot comprehend that, while ''one'' member of a family cannot eat gluten (because he has celiac disease), the rest of them can eat it just fine.
---> '''Waitress''': I’ve never heard of a half-gluten family.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/gluten-intolerance-versus-gluten-ignorance/63461/ This waitress]] apparently cannot comprehend that, while ''one'' member of a family cannot eat gluten (because he has celiac disease), the rest of them can eat it just fine.
---> '''Waitress''': I’ve never heard of a half-gluten family.
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Fixed a broken link.
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/wont-let-finnish-sentence These paramedics]] state that an elderly woman is being "uncooperative" all while completely ignoring the woman's family's insistence that she only speaks Finnish.
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/wont-let-finnish-sentence com/they-wont-let-you-finnish-a-sentence/64652/ These paramedics]] state that an elderly woman is being "uncooperative" all while completely ignoring the woman's family's insistence that she only speaks Finnish.
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Fixed a broken link.
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/might-well-sleeping-job This submitter]] was suffering from excessive fatigue and oversleeping. The doctor, for whatever reason, decided his patient was clearly suffering from '''insomnia''' [[note]]which is when you ''can't'' sleep, just for the record[[/note]] and needed to take over-the-counter sleep aids. "He's my ex-doctor now."
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/might-well-sleeping-job com/might-as-well-be-sleeping-on-the-job/65400/ This submitter]] was suffering from excessive fatigue and oversleeping. The doctor, for whatever reason, decided his patient was clearly suffering from '''insomnia''' [[note]]which is when you ''can't'' sleep, just for the record[[/note]] and needed to take over-the-counter sleep aids. "He's my ex-doctor now."
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/laughing-over-this-stuff-is-a-minefield/155609/ This genius soldier]] manges to corner himself with ''landmines''. Fortunately he's extricated without coming to harm (aside from taking a verbal dressing-down by his commanding officer).
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* YouAreAlreadyDead: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-baker-they-need-not-the-baker-they-deserve Discussed.]]
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* YouAreAlreadyDead: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-baker-they-need-not-the-baker-they-deserve Discussed.]]Discussed in this story]] by the submitter's shift leader after the two successfully get through a particularly busy stretch during their shift.
-->'''Shift leader:''' It was like one of those samurai animes: some big eight-headed dragon of a ‘customer monster’ attacks, and the hero dashes past… then a breeze wafts by and all the heads pop off. You’re like the wind!
-->'''Shift leader:''' It was like one of those samurai animes: some big eight-headed dragon of a ‘customer monster’ attacks, and the hero dashes past… then a breeze wafts by and all the heads pop off. You’re like the wind!
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** In [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-boss-didnt-record-your-request-2/65236/ this]] story, about employees getting locked in while working late, dealing with the aftermath causes the boss and his wife to miss their flight to the U.S. for Christmas.
--> The flight he was booked on—but had to cancel—was [[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pan_Am_Flight_103 Pan Am 103]].
--> The flight he was booked on—but had to cancel—was [[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pan_Am_Flight_103 Pan Am 103]].
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/oh-unfair-maiden/144651/ This clerk at a post office]] refuses to let the submitter apply for a passport because they seemingly cannot wrap their mind around why the woman has a different surname from the one on her mother's birth certificate (which she had to present in order to apply for the passport). Surely it couldn't be because the name on the birth certificate is her mother's maiden name or something...
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** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-nut-cake-is-a-lie/144639/ This office director]] points out that he's allergic to the nuts in the cake the office brought to celebrate a worker's birthday...and then pops a piece of the cake into his mouth anyway because he just wanted to see what it tasted like. Miraculously, he doesn't appear to have a reaction to it.
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Accidentally created the wrong page. Creating the correct page.
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[[NotAlwaysWorking/TropesAToE Tropes A to E]] | [[NotAlwaysWorking/TropesFToL Tropes F to L]] | [[NotAlwaysWorking/TropesMToS Tropes M to S]] | (you are here)
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* TakeThisJobAndShoveIt: A lot of stories that deal with a BadBoss will often end this way, with the submitter quitting because they have had enough of their boss's bullshit.
* TeasingFromBehindTheLanguageBarrier: [[https://notalwaysright.com/how-to-win-the-war-against-telemarketers-part-3 This submitter]]'s uncle uses this to take care of a persistent caller that kept bothering his nephew:
-->'''Uncle''': ''(in Arabic)'' Why do you not listen? [[NonSequitur He is not here! I am in a kitchen! The bananas are not ripe yet. My nephew’s cat does not like me! Soccer is fun to watch.]] [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext My ears are on fire! My face is made of coins! There are clocks all over the ceiling]].\\
'''Caller''': [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere *click*]]
* TheTapeKnewYouWouldSayThat / ImprobablyPredictable: A former telemarketer encounters another telemarketer [[http://notalwaysright.com/my-mime-self-and-i working from the same script]] he used at his old job. So he joins in.
* ThatCameOutWrong:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/longing-for-when-thongs-werent-wrong An oblivious grandpa]] asks for "children's thongs" for his grandson. He probably means thong ''sandals'', or "flip-flop"s. The cashier's mind goes straight for the ''other'' meaning. [[DiggingYourselfDeeper The customer's next words do NOT help matters.]]
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/not-the-most-chair-itable-way-to-say-things Ah yes, you’re part of the furniture. Er... we’re getting new furniture.]] ...Oh my! No, no, no! [[LiteralMetaphor I mean we really ARE getting new furniture]]!"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/no-need-to-get-crabby We have crabs! And we're just itching to sell them to you!]]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/sugar-daddies-for-desert I'd like a boy toy, please!]]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/this-isnt-panning-out-well I just need to cut the cheese.]]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/just-runs-with-it Well, I think everyone has ‘diarrhea.']]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/sealed-with-a-kiss Where's my kiss?]]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/no-one-should-take-a-bite-of-his-bark Hey, any of you guys want to see my woody?]]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/causing-a-stink-with-your-customers Hello. I have a delivery of gas for your rear.]]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/hold-tight-when-freudian-slipping Better to be tight than loose!]]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/holding-on-to-your-clients Hi, Mrs. [Patient]. May I hold you?]]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/conversational-balls-up Yep, so I’ve got two balls!]]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/that-blew-up-in-his-face I’m here to blow you this afternoon!]]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/ill-go-with-option-number-two Would you like an apple pie]], or our new [[ToiletHumor poop]] tart—''[[VerbalBackspace pop]]'' tart ice cream sandwich?"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/scrub-your-dirty-mind The classic "I didn’t recognize you in clothes!" moment]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/endowed-with-knowledge This worker]] meant to say that her manager is well-informed. She says he's well-endowed instead.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/not-so-handy-handbook/60569/ The "Not so Handy Handbook"]].
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/touch-technology/117620/ "I can no longer touch myself.]] [[AccidentalInnuendo Is there a reason I can no longer touch myself?"]][[note]]this is in reference to the submitter's work schedule, which the submitter has inexplicably been barred access to[[/note]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/not-so-family-friendly-magic/120882/ "[Submitter]! Do you have your balls on you?"]] Bonus points for the hapless coworker [[DiggingYourselfDeeper digging themselves deeper]] when they desperately try to correct themselves.[[labelnote:*]]For context, the "balls" in question are a bunch of small foam balls the submitter uses for magic tricks.[[/labelnote]]
** "[[https://notalwaysright.com/hold-that-thought/135870/ Would you like your nuts in a sack, or would you prefer to hold them?]]"
* ThatsWhatSheSaid: Attempted by a ''female'' worker here: "[[http://notalwaysright.com/equal-opportunity-innuender God, that took forever! It felt so good to finally shove some meat in there!]]"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/drawing-blood-and-laughter This one]] comes from a blood clinic worker, with the customer saying that he would've gone for it had the worker not done so.
* TheyJustDontGetIt:
** Stories under the "Ignoring/Inattentive" (formerly "Not Listening") tag tend to be cases of this.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/infinitely-loopy-part-21 Taken to the extreme here]]. The caller tries to get her problem reassigned to another IT Manager, because the current one is on vacation. The help desk person ''repeatedly'' says that the away manager is already assigned to the case, and ''not once'' seems to understand what the caller is actually saying.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/companies-will-pay-for-not-paying-attention And here too]]. Apparently for these workers (and [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-grapes-of-a-customers-wrath these workers as well]]), "I don't want to buy the wine" means "I don't want to show you my ID, give me the wine".
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/what-an-alco-hole This worker]] goes even further, construing the laws for "You can't sell alcohol to minors" and "You can't sell alcohol to an adult buying on behalf of minors" to mean "You can't sell alcohol to an adult who happens to be accompanied by minors, even if the alcohol is clearly for the adult".
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-penny-saved-is-a-customer-spurned In response to a customer who has a malfunctioning debit card]] (on a Sunday, while on vacation), the bank employee not a few times says "just don't spend money", not seeming to get that ''this isn't an option'', especially for that customer at that time.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-boss-needs-work This boss]] really doesn't seem to understand that when an employee quits, that's ''it''; they ''don't work there'' anymore.
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/mails-a-thousand-papers-but-doesnt-get-the-message This company]] has a similar problem.
** From [[http://notalwaysright.com/breaking-bank this story]]: "..as I have explained, I am unable to pay any more at present." "[[BlatantLies I understand]], but why are you not paying a greater amount?"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-transaction-has-gone-up-in-smoke Here]] is a tobacco example similar to the liquor examples above.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-transaction-has-gone-up-in-smoke-part-2 Part 2]]: an idiot/JerkAss cashier who needs to have their manager called in for ''basic math skills''.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/tgim This employee]] ''really'' wants to work (read: get paid for) Mondays even though the store in question is not open on Monday.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-debtor-way-to-deal-with-them This company]] had to deal with a bill collector that continued asking for someone who never had anything to do with them despite filing multiple complaints with the FCC. Even after the boss [[TheGadfly gave them permission to mess with the caller]], they still had to prank the collector no less than ''six'' times before they finally gave up.
** Apparently "I don't have a bag" is too complicated a concept for [[http://notalwaysright.com/serious-baggage-issues this girl]] to understand.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/how-to-polarize-your-customers This teller]] keeps telling a customer they have to remove their sunglasses, not understanding when the customer repeatedly tells them that they're ''not actually sunglasses''.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cannot-change-the-change-outcome This clerk]] insists on giving a customer five dollars back for a one-dollar DVD return and taking one dollar for a five-dollar DVD purchase. The customer just accepts it (and gives the extra change to charity) after the clerk fails to understand the problem after it is pointed out to her two times.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/security-going-all-full-metal-jacket This security guard]] decides that a family helping their young daughter put on a jacket means that they stole it. It doesn't matter that it's stained, has no tags, and is a brand the store does not sell. When the guard ''finally'' gets that it was not stolen, several hours later, [[NeverMyFault he asks a coworker "why didn't you tell me?"]], when said coworker ''did, numerous times''.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-vacuum-of-sales This demonstrator]] seems to believe that a family claiming they don't have carpeting on their floor means they ''don't have a floor at all''.
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/affogato-be-kidding I suppose if they misheard 'ice water' as 'affogato,']] mishearing "I'm allergic" as "I'd like extra" isn’t too far of a stretch, but still..."
** The conversation in [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-new-white-bread-america this story]] was apparently a daily occurrence for the submitter.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/working-against-the-clock This clerk]] at a jewelry counter can't seem to understand how a wind-up watch works without a battery. Despite having it explained to them by ''multiple people''.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-bill-that-keeps-on-billing This]] receptionist just doesn't get that the customer in question has not been getting bills for eight months because a.) they moved from Connecticut to California, and b.) their old address was wrong in the system, so the bills were not forwarded, and keeps saying "you should just pay your bills when you get them, because we've been sending you bills for eight months".
** For [[http://notalwaysright.com/blt-better-luck-tomorrow-part-4 these employees]], customers apparently have to specifically ask for lettuce and tomato to be added to their ''BLT sandwiches''. That lettuce and tomato are in its name, right after the bacon that they ''did'' add, means nothing.
** Likewise for [[http://notalwaysright.com/with-no-bacon-comes-irresponsibility this restaurant]], where a BBQ '''bacon''' burger apparently does not come with bacon - and, to add insult to injury, the waitress the submitter asked about it charged extra for the "add-on" after getting them the bacon they were supposed to get in the first place.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/how-to-win-the-war-against-telemarketers-part-7 This Indian Telemarketer]] doesn't seem to understand that the family he's repeatedly calling is not interested in what he's selling despite the numerous time they insult him and threaten to call the police. The Telemarketer finally stop after the police contacted his superiors.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/pig-headed-about-the-sign Despite the US Navy]] telling their cooks to put meat signs on their food so their Arabic guests won't accidentally eat food that is against their religious beliefs, one cook doesn't understand why he has to put a sign on his Calicon corn despite the fact the dish contains pork.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/theyre-all-high-on-e These two tech support]] don't seem understand because the submitter new computer is a Mac that runs OSX, they cannot install Internet Explorer which is only available on Windows.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/caught-in-the-middle-name This employee]] refuses to believe that the 24 year old submitter has an unconventional middle name, screaming that she's been "lied to" even after the submitter explicitly states multiple times that the name in question is her middle name, not the first part of a hyphenated last name. The supervisor who scolds the employee and takes over notes that the employee always did this and was likely going to be let go because of that incident.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/might-well-sleeping-job This submitter]] was suffering from excessive fatigue and oversleeping. The doctor, for whatever reason, decided his patient was clearly suffering from '''insomnia''' [[note]]which is when you ''can't'' sleep, just for the record[[/note]] and needed to take over-the-counter sleep aids. "He's my ex-doctor now."
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/your-credit-score-is-underage This credit card scammer]] calls a 12 year old boy's cell phone, and simply cannot get through her head, even after being repeatedly told by the boy's mother, that the boy cannot possibly have a credit card at his age.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/steve-me-alone/93645/ This debt collector]] does not get the idea that "Steve" doesn't live in the household he is calling, and never has. Even after being told that "Steve" had ''died'' the previous spring, the collector continues berating and harassing the submitter at least three times a week, prompting her to file a complaint with the Attorney General.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/say-bye-bi-coworker/110476/ This female co-worker]] does not seem to understand her male co-worker is a bisexual and not gay. Even worse, for all of her concerns that her male co-worker maybe being forced to "date" his girlfriend by his parents and not because he actually likes her, she immediately judges his girlfriend must be a transsexual as the reason why he's dating her and thinks he's into gay stereotypes like drag queens and good fashion sense.
* TooDumbToLive:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/totally-pill-aged This nurse]] downs an entire bag of pills, despite not knowing who they belong to or what they are for. Fortunately for her (and possibly unfortunately for the rest of us), they were mostly harmless lactose-intolerance pills, so no Website/{{Darwin Award|s}} for her (at least, not yet).
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/putting-your-selfie-in-danger These coworkers]] stop in the middle of a stairwell during a fire drill to take a selfie, [[LethallyStupid endangering the people behind them]] as ''well'' as themselves. Had this been an ''actual'' emergency, photobombing their selfie (as the submitter suggested) would have been ''too light'' a reaction.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/totally-off-your-nut This guy]] has a nut allergy severe enough for him to take an Epipen to work everyday and thinks the reason for nearly dying after eating an ALMOND JOY! was that that it had coconut in it.
* {{Troll}}: [[https://notalwaysright.com/do-you-speak-asian/108817/ When the submitter's boyfriend]] runs into a racist cashier who assumes he doesn't speak English [[FailedASpotCheck despite the fact that he just did]], the boyfriend responds by swapping to Mandarin until the cashier [[RageQuit leaves in frustration]], then swaps right back to English.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:U-V]]
* UnwantedAssistance: [[invoked]]
** An optician has to bend the glasses to fit properly on the patient's face...[[http://notalwaysright.com/infinitely-loopy-part-6 then proceeds to unbend them so they'll fit in the hard case]]. Eventually the patient uses a paraphrase of the former trope name "Stop Helping Me".
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/return-this-rep-to-sender This Cable Rep]] claims he/she can help the submitter but is being difficult in settling an unjustified shipping cost. The submitter asks for someone else to help her instead.
* UnwittingInstigatorOfDoom: [[https://notalwaysright.com/santa-existential-crisis/102454/ A callous daycare worker tells a five year old girl that Santa doesn't exist]]. The girl's mother angrily confronts the worker, and reveals that her husband ''died on Christmas Day the previous year''. A visit from Santa was the one thing keeping the poor girl's spirits up that Christmas Season, and now the worker most likely ruined Christmas forever for her daughter. Several parents witnessed the confrontation, and they were so outraged over the worker's actions that they ended their own kids' enrollment at the daycare, crippling the buisness in the process. [[RealityEnsues Needless to say, the worker got fired afterwards for her misconduct and the consequences that ensued]].
* UnwittingPawn: [[https://notalwaysright.com/key-good-scam-hapless-employee/106668/ This hotel front desk agent]] almost ends up this for a credit card thief because she doesn't understand how keyless entry approval works[[note]]contrary to her incorrect belief that keyless entry has to be manually approved for it to work, leading her to ''approve every keyless entry request in advance'', the system automatically approves everyone who meets criteria and ''only'' everyone who meets criteria, so by approving the requests, all she's been doing is approving people who don't meet criteria, i.e. low-tier rewards program members and ''criminals''[[/note]]. Luckily, the submitter catches her (months-long) mistake long before the thief is due to arrive, and quickly retrains her in order to put an end to the mistake before locking the thief out of her room.
* VengefulVendingMachine: [[http://notalwaysright.com/drives-you-round-the-vend Yep, they exist.]]
* VetinariJobSecurity:
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/just-got-rid-of-his-breadwinner It took exactly two days for the new owner to realize that he had fired the only man who knew all of the recipes and who dealt with over half our regular clientele.]]"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-in-a-happy-replace This]] salesperson has a WrongGenreSavvy moment here because she assumes this is the case. She's very firmly proven otherwise.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/engineering-a-problem The new manager]] in an aerospace company dismisses what he thinks is an overpaid secretary (StayInTheKitchen is heavily implied). Nope, she was the only one with the applied mathematics skills necessary for the group to do the work... and it's not ''nearly'' as easy to replace her as the manager thinks it would be, especially since [[WhatAnIdiot he actually believes people with master's degrees in applied mathematics would be beating down their door]] to apply for an ''unpaid internship''. So idiotic was this move, that one coworker actually called the manager a "[[SoundEffectBleep f**[=*=]***]] moron" to his face. Four months later, the coworker ''still'' hasn't been replaced; meanwhile, the former coworker has found a better-paying job with a competitor, and the CEO, once it became known ''why'' certain projects had been stalled for months, [[WhatWereYouThinking tore into the supervisor]] before firing him.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/you-cant-dismiss-the-karma-on-this-one/131545/ This manager]] managed to [[HoistByHisOwnPetard invoke]] it, by giving the submitter the most difficult possible tasks as part of a bullying campaign. When she ends up firing the submitter for not giving in to her bullying (resulting in the manager losing a wrongful dismissal suit), it turns out that, since the submitter was doing all the hard work on a project, ''nobody else had the required knowledge to finish it''. And while the submitter certainly ''can'' help them out, they make it clear that there's no way they're going to lift a finger for their BadBoss.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:W-X]]
* WackyCravings: The poster thinks this is going on in [[http://notalwaysright.com/showered-with-irresponsibility this]] story, and tries to warn the customer about the dangers. It turned out that while the customer's daughter ''is'' pregnant, she doesn't have a craving for mayonnaise -- she's making deviled eggs for the baby shower.
* WaifFu: [[http://notalwaysright.com/secure-in-her-ability Two former bouncers]] are hired for a security firm and notice a 5'1" girl in one of their training courses. They complain about the girl getting higher pay than them, just as one of the men is brought up for a demonstration with her. She then proceeds to flip him flat on his ass during the demonstration, much to his surprise. The instructor's line at the end sums it up perfectly.
--->'''Instructor:''' Celebrities hire guys like you to stand in front of them and look scary; millionaire businessmen hire people like her if they want real security.
* WaxingLyrical:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-is-not-one-of-the-better-times With lyrics from "Tubthumping" by Chumbawumba.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-great-gummi-massacre "Gummi bears...]] [[WesternAnimation/AdventuresOfTheGummiBears lying here and there and everywhere..."]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/i-like-my-coworkers-better-that-way "Why did Constantinople get the works?"]] [[Music/TheyMightBeGiants "That's nobody's business but the Turks'."]]
* WhatCouldPossiblyGoWrong: [[http://notalwaysright.com/if-you-cant-stand-the-heat-stay-out-of-the-microwave The worst they can say is no.]]
* WhatDoesThisButtonDo: [[https://notalwaysright.com/cleaning-at-an-alarming-rate/56544/ This new employee]] finds an unlabeled button near the register and presses it, thinking it might release something that they would have to clean. Turns out that button was the silent alarm and pressing it alerted the police. The employee doesn't end up reprimanded because, as their bosses say, they are not the first employee to do so. "People just like pushing buttons, even if they don’t know what they’re for."
* WhamLine: At the end of [[https://notalwaysright.com/analyse-this-i-quit/119844/ this story]]:
--> Oh, and did I mention the boss was my step-dad?
* WhosOnFirst:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/ques-on-second And Qué's on second.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/listening-with-reckless-a-banned-on The difference]] between "band" and "banned".
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/saved-by-the-bell Anita Bellman]]. ''Not'' "I need a bellman."
* WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes: [[http://notalwaysright.com/when-live-wires-get-their-wires-crossed Well, spiders in this case.]] It scares the guy so much he ScreamsLikeALittleGirl.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/walking-playing-dead/102883// Or perhaps this opossum]]
* WhyWeCantHaveNiceThings: [[http://notalwaysright.com/got-them-by-hook-or-by-crook This company]] stopped giving "fools' errands" to new employees after one nearly cost them over £1800 (Turns out, 'skyhooks' [[AluminumChristmasTrees really do exist]], though they're not used for holding up the sky).
* [[WritersCannotDoMath Workers Cannot Do Math]]:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/penny-unwise-and-pound-foolish Here are two people who don't understand fractions.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/your-math-is-my-gain Here's one]] that doesn't understand subtraction.
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/makes-a-difference-when-cashiers-are-minus-a-few-brain-cells Here's another]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/being-patient-can-be-paint-ful Here's one]] who doesn't know how to convert a "recipe" for a quart of paint to a gallon.[[note]]For those who don't use those measurements: just multiply everything by four.[[/note]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-day-late-and-991000-dollars-short “The new store in [city] just made $9,000 last week. That’s almost a million!”]] That's an epic case of MisplacedADecimalPoint, ''at best''.
** When a person fails to understand that 12 ounces are three quarters of a pound, it's somewhat understandable. [[http://notalwaysright.com/an-ounce-of-common-sense-is-worth-a-pound-of-queries When that person can't comprehend a fraction like "three quarters", it's this trope.]]
** A dozen is twelve, but [[http://notalwaysright.com/their-math-dozent-add-up somehow these two never learned that]].
*** Likewise, [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-duh-zen this cashier]] thinks that a dozen means twenty, but is quickly proven wrong when her manager makes her fetch a carton of a dozen eggs and then count them out to him. She was fired over the debacle soon after.
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-quite-a-bakers-dozen This bakery]] doesn't understand that a half-dozen is six, either.
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cant-think-outside-the-box This submitter]] splits two dozen donuts between three boxes, to which the cashier tries to charge them for three dozen - apparently a "dozen" is simply however many donuts happen to be in a box, rather than a concrete number.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/yes-age-no-standing/97083/ This liquor store cashier]] doesn't seem to get that a customer born in 1989 is old enough to purchase alcohol in the UK in 2011. When the submitter tries to correct her and say that they are 21, she tries to use [[InsaneTrollLogic her own mathematics]] to prove them wrong... only to end up with 18 as her answer, which is ''still'' old enough to buy alcohol under UK law. Fortunately, the owner eventually steps in and rings up the submitter, and the cashier is fired some time later.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/only-half-listening This sandwich shop worker]] doesn't understand what "cut it in half" means and has to be told to cut the sandwich into 2 pieces.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/theyre-not-on-the-same-page This lawyer]] cannot get a single printer to print a Word document - which turns out to be because he's telling the printers to print the fourth page of a document that only has three pages.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/making-a-fractionally-better-coffee This coworker]] doesn't get that a drink which is three-thirds coffee would be ''all'' coffee.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-number-must-have-popsicled-into-their-head This cashier]] doesn't know how "buy one, get one ''free''" works.
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/ive-gotta-find-this-pizza-place This one]], meanwhile, misunderstands the "buy" part and thinks the customer gets ''everything'' free.
** The introduction to [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-minor-business-flaw this story]] mentions that some of the interviews the submitter went to were doomed from the start, because they were looking for someone with five- to ten-years' experience with software that wasn't even two years old.
** Same deal in [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-a-pleasant-experience this story]], where the interviewer is looking for people with ten years' worth of work experience, but then refuses to hire the submitter who has double that, because he's not in his mid-20's [[AggressiveCategorism and therefore cannot possibly know anything about computers]]. The submitter points out the ridiculousness of this as he's leaving by telling them "good luck finding someone who graduated at age 10".
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/has-zero-understanding-of-zero This agent]] cancels a woman's tuition account because the woman didn't pay anything over the last two months, even when ''both'' the agent and the submitter plainly see that the woman's charges for those two months is zero dollars.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/i-can-write-you-a-cheque-but-it-will-all-come-to-naught/64130/ The submitter here]] gets an electric bill for £0.00. When he sends nothing, the company threatens to send bailiffs to recoup the amount of the debt, continually failing to understand that the bill is for "NAUGHT pounds and NAUGHT pence." It gets to the point that the submitter simply sends a check for £0.00 to satisfy the electric company.
* WorstAid: The "Medical Office", "Hospital", and "Health & Body" tags are ''full'' of [[AddedAlliterativeAppeal doctor don'ts, nurse nuisances, and receptionist rejections]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/sleeping-on-the-job This story]] is particularly cringe-worthy.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-painful-diagnosis Sometimes, it pays to explain things to the doctor]]--the hospital goes into a wild goose chase over a nurse's incorrect diagnosis until the patient finally is able to talk to a ''doctor'' and tell ''them'' what's wrong. The doctor gets a major OhCrap moment when the patient's description of the symptoms hits home--turns out the patient had cancer!
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/wont-let-finnish-sentence These paramedics]] state that an elderly woman is being "uncooperative" all while completely ignoring the woman's family's insistence that she only speaks Finnish.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/how-to-be-a-total-asthma/92393/ This Doctor]] fails to notice a five year old girl has asthma, dissmissing the girl's mother's arguments, even though she is a nurse and knows the sympthons of asthma. Worse, the Doctor claimed to be a member of the board of Asthma Awareness. Fortunately, another doctor knows better and sends the girl to [=ICU=], where she makes a full recovery.
* WouldHurtAChild: Not in the usual sense that this trope implies, but [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-feeding-frenzy/65023/ this callous NICU nurse]] cares so little about her patients that she lays a premature baby down flat after nursing (causing her to vomit) ''and'' carelessly gives her breast milk from another baby's mother (which could have been contaminated).
* WoundedGazelleGambit:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/born-to-help Inverted with this manager]], who thinks an 8-months-pregnant cashier is faking a sickness. Turns out, it was very real.
** Also inverted with [[https://notalwaysright.com/thought-it-was-some-kind-of-sick-joke this manager]], who threatens to discipline the submitter for feigning illness to take the previous day off, despite them exhibiting ''obvious signs'' of illness and even '''passing out''' in front of her. Fortunately, [[LaserGuidedKarma the manager was later fired]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/his-race-card-has-expired In this story]] the submitter's manager reveals that a customer accused them of racially abusing him. It turns out that he (the customer) bullied the submitter when they went to school, and [[EverythingIsRacist cried racism whenever the submitter complained.]] When the coworker's classmate vouches for the submitter, the manager immediately drops the complaint.
* WrongGenreSavvy: Quite a number of bosses and co-workers fall under this.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/hater-waiter In this case]], the manager believes he's in a Not Always Right story, handling a rude and aggressive customer. Turns out, he's in a Not Always Working story, with his waiter being mean.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/cardboard-cut-cashier-better This cashier]] thinks she is the OnlySaneMan in a Not Always Right story to the end, refusing to let herself be proven wrong.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-crazy-fan-with-a-few-wires-loose/ This repair company]] thinks they're in a Not Always Right story with yet another customer overreporting a problem (saying a ceiling fan was hanging by its wires; every other time someone's ever reported this to them, it was only the canopy that fell off). The electrician they eventually send to humor the crazy customer is quite surprised to find that said customer's problem was NotHyperbole - unlike every other customer who reported that issue, her fan ''really was'' hanging by its wires and ready to fall at any moment.
* WrongRestaurant: Subverted in [[https://notalwaysright.com/misteaken-cowmprehension this]] story. A man goes into a vegetarian restaurant and orders a steak. The newly hired waitress (telling the story) has to inform him that as a vegetarian restaurant, they don't serve steak. But then the owner's daughter reveals that they do serve steak. It turns out she doesn't know what "vegetarian" means, and the owner doesn't have the heart to tell her - which leads to the restaurant closing down just weeks later after an ''actual'' vegetarian restaurant opened across the street.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Y-Z]]
* YouAreAlreadyDead: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-baker-they-need-not-the-baker-they-deserve Discussed.]]
* YouAreBetterThanYouThinkYouAre: [[http://notalwaysright.com/whining-about-the-dining A coffee-shop employee]] gives a self-loathing coworker a pick-me-up this way, DrillSergeantNasty style. Note that the narrator delivered it that way because they thought the "self-loathing" coworker was just whining to get attention, and given that it apparently worked they were likely right.
* YouCantMissIt: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-colour-derple This receptionist]] gives directions from the current doctor's office to the office of a specialist for people with color-blind vision... citing landmarks by color. Thankfully, once the patient spells out the problem, the receptionist finally seems to realize what they were doing wrong.
* YouDidntAsk: [[http://notalwaysright.com/served-by-sheldon-cooper A perfect demonstration]] of just how annoying this trope really is.
* YouKeepUsingThatWord:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/misteaken-cowmprehension The daughter of the owner of this restaurant]] doesn't know what the word "vegetarian" means.
** Neither does [[http://notalwaysright.com/wont-make-ends-meat-with-that-attitude this server]]. Given the circumstances, it's equally possible that he ''does'' know, but either doesn't know what counts as meat (since he claims chicken noodle soup and bacon have no meat), or is deliberately being an asshole to the vegetarian customer (since, given the above thought process, he ignores the customer's request to not add bacon to their dish and then insults them for complaining).
--->''Needless to say, we didn't tip well.''
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-know-beans-about-the-menu-part-2 This worker]] makes the ''opposite'' of the usual mistake, extending the definition to include ''rice and beans''.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/killed-by-a-freudian-slip Maybe here]]. It's possible the boss meant someone ''else'' was killed in the accident, but it's not clear.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/thinker-failer-soldier-fly/ This trainee pilot]] doesn't quite understand what the "mile high club" is.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-determined-on-terminology This developer]] keeps using the wrong terms for a piece of software, and can't be convinced to use the correct ones. It's implied the developer uses a rather naughty term for the spinny thing that lets people know that something is loading (normally called a "[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Throbber throbber]]").
* YouMakeMeSic: [[http://notalwaysright.com/cant-quit-good-grammar This woman]] corrects a poorly-written comment from her manager.
* YoungerThanTheyLook: A ''doctor'' believes [[http://notalwaysright.com/taking-a-pregnant-pause-on-menopause a 29-year-old woman to be in her mid-40s]], accusing her of being afraid to own up to the possibility of going through menopause... [[SustainedMisunderstanding and when he meets her later during her pregnancy, he berates her for being such at such an advanced age.]]
** "[[https://notalwaysright.com/winker-waiter-father-cry/59480/ She's fourteen!?]]" And then the flirting waiter was never seen or heard from again.
* YourCheatingHeart: [[http://notalwaysright.com/fit-for-the-job This guy]] was on the other end of this trope - his wife was sleeping with his boss, who promptly fired him when he discovered it.
* ZillionDollarBill: Nope, [[http://notalwaysright.com/customers-actually-know-a-thing-or-two $2 bills exist]].
[[/folder]]
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[[Website/NotAlwaysWorking Back to the main page]]
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[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:T]]
* TakeThisJobAndShoveIt: A lot of stories that deal with a BadBoss will often end this way, with the submitter quitting because they have had enough of their boss's bullshit.
* TeasingFromBehindTheLanguageBarrier: [[https://notalwaysright.com/how-to-win-the-war-against-telemarketers-part-3 This submitter]]'s uncle uses this to take care of a persistent caller that kept bothering his nephew:
-->'''Uncle''': ''(in Arabic)'' Why do you not listen? [[NonSequitur He is not here! I am in a kitchen! The bananas are not ripe yet. My nephew’s cat does not like me! Soccer is fun to watch.]] [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext My ears are on fire! My face is made of coins! There are clocks all over the ceiling]].\\
'''Caller''': [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere *click*]]
* TheTapeKnewYouWouldSayThat / ImprobablyPredictable: A former telemarketer encounters another telemarketer [[http://notalwaysright.com/my-mime-self-and-i working from the same script]] he used at his old job. So he joins in.
* ThatCameOutWrong:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/longing-for-when-thongs-werent-wrong An oblivious grandpa]] asks for "children's thongs" for his grandson. He probably means thong ''sandals'', or "flip-flop"s. The cashier's mind goes straight for the ''other'' meaning. [[DiggingYourselfDeeper The customer's next words do NOT help matters.]]
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/not-the-most-chair-itable-way-to-say-things Ah yes, you’re part of the furniture. Er... we’re getting new furniture.]] ...Oh my! No, no, no! [[LiteralMetaphor I mean we really ARE getting new furniture]]!"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/no-need-to-get-crabby We have crabs! And we're just itching to sell them to you!]]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/sugar-daddies-for-desert I'd like a boy toy, please!]]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/this-isnt-panning-out-well I just need to cut the cheese.]]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/just-runs-with-it Well, I think everyone has ‘diarrhea.']]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/sealed-with-a-kiss Where's my kiss?]]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/no-one-should-take-a-bite-of-his-bark Hey, any of you guys want to see my woody?]]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/causing-a-stink-with-your-customers Hello. I have a delivery of gas for your rear.]]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/hold-tight-when-freudian-slipping Better to be tight than loose!]]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/holding-on-to-your-clients Hi, Mrs. [Patient]. May I hold you?]]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/conversational-balls-up Yep, so I’ve got two balls!]]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/that-blew-up-in-his-face I’m here to blow you this afternoon!]]"
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/ill-go-with-option-number-two Would you like an apple pie]], or our new [[ToiletHumor poop]] tart—''[[VerbalBackspace pop]]'' tart ice cream sandwich?"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/scrub-your-dirty-mind The classic "I didn’t recognize you in clothes!" moment]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/endowed-with-knowledge This worker]] meant to say that her manager is well-informed. She says he's well-endowed instead.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/not-so-handy-handbook/60569/ The "Not so Handy Handbook"]].
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/touch-technology/117620/ "I can no longer touch myself.]] [[AccidentalInnuendo Is there a reason I can no longer touch myself?"]][[note]]this is in reference to the submitter's work schedule, which the submitter has inexplicably been barred access to[[/note]]
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/not-so-family-friendly-magic/120882/ "[Submitter]! Do you have your balls on you?"]] Bonus points for the hapless coworker [[DiggingYourselfDeeper digging themselves deeper]] when they desperately try to correct themselves.[[labelnote:*]]For context, the "balls" in question are a bunch of small foam balls the submitter uses for magic tricks.[[/labelnote]]
** "[[https://notalwaysright.com/hold-that-thought/135870/ Would you like your nuts in a sack, or would you prefer to hold them?]]"
* ThatsWhatSheSaid: Attempted by a ''female'' worker here: "[[http://notalwaysright.com/equal-opportunity-innuender God, that took forever! It felt so good to finally shove some meat in there!]]"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/drawing-blood-and-laughter This one]] comes from a blood clinic worker, with the customer saying that he would've gone for it had the worker not done so.
* TheyJustDontGetIt:
** Stories under the "Ignoring/Inattentive" (formerly "Not Listening") tag tend to be cases of this.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/infinitely-loopy-part-21 Taken to the extreme here]]. The caller tries to get her problem reassigned to another IT Manager, because the current one is on vacation. The help desk person ''repeatedly'' says that the away manager is already assigned to the case, and ''not once'' seems to understand what the caller is actually saying.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/companies-will-pay-for-not-paying-attention And here too]]. Apparently for these workers (and [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-grapes-of-a-customers-wrath these workers as well]]), "I don't want to buy the wine" means "I don't want to show you my ID, give me the wine".
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/what-an-alco-hole This worker]] goes even further, construing the laws for "You can't sell alcohol to minors" and "You can't sell alcohol to an adult buying on behalf of minors" to mean "You can't sell alcohol to an adult who happens to be accompanied by minors, even if the alcohol is clearly for the adult".
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-penny-saved-is-a-customer-spurned In response to a customer who has a malfunctioning debit card]] (on a Sunday, while on vacation), the bank employee not a few times says "just don't spend money", not seeming to get that ''this isn't an option'', especially for that customer at that time.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-boss-needs-work This boss]] really doesn't seem to understand that when an employee quits, that's ''it''; they ''don't work there'' anymore.
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/mails-a-thousand-papers-but-doesnt-get-the-message This company]] has a similar problem.
** From [[http://notalwaysright.com/breaking-bank this story]]: "..as I have explained, I am unable to pay any more at present." "[[BlatantLies I understand]], but why are you not paying a greater amount?"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-transaction-has-gone-up-in-smoke Here]] is a tobacco example similar to the liquor examples above.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-transaction-has-gone-up-in-smoke-part-2 Part 2]]: an idiot/JerkAss cashier who needs to have their manager called in for ''basic math skills''.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/tgim This employee]] ''really'' wants to work (read: get paid for) Mondays even though the store in question is not open on Monday.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-debtor-way-to-deal-with-them This company]] had to deal with a bill collector that continued asking for someone who never had anything to do with them despite filing multiple complaints with the FCC. Even after the boss [[TheGadfly gave them permission to mess with the caller]], they still had to prank the collector no less than ''six'' times before they finally gave up.
** Apparently "I don't have a bag" is too complicated a concept for [[http://notalwaysright.com/serious-baggage-issues this girl]] to understand.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/how-to-polarize-your-customers This teller]] keeps telling a customer they have to remove their sunglasses, not understanding when the customer repeatedly tells them that they're ''not actually sunglasses''.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cannot-change-the-change-outcome This clerk]] insists on giving a customer five dollars back for a one-dollar DVD return and taking one dollar for a five-dollar DVD purchase. The customer just accepts it (and gives the extra change to charity) after the clerk fails to understand the problem after it is pointed out to her two times.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/security-going-all-full-metal-jacket This security guard]] decides that a family helping their young daughter put on a jacket means that they stole it. It doesn't matter that it's stained, has no tags, and is a brand the store does not sell. When the guard ''finally'' gets that it was not stolen, several hours later, [[NeverMyFault he asks a coworker "why didn't you tell me?"]], when said coworker ''did, numerous times''.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-vacuum-of-sales This demonstrator]] seems to believe that a family claiming they don't have carpeting on their floor means they ''don't have a floor at all''.
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/affogato-be-kidding I suppose if they misheard 'ice water' as 'affogato,']] mishearing "I'm allergic" as "I'd like extra" isn’t too far of a stretch, but still..."
** The conversation in [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-new-white-bread-america this story]] was apparently a daily occurrence for the submitter.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/working-against-the-clock This clerk]] at a jewelry counter can't seem to understand how a wind-up watch works without a battery. Despite having it explained to them by ''multiple people''.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-bill-that-keeps-on-billing This]] receptionist just doesn't get that the customer in question has not been getting bills for eight months because a.) they moved from Connecticut to California, and b.) their old address was wrong in the system, so the bills were not forwarded, and keeps saying "you should just pay your bills when you get them, because we've been sending you bills for eight months".
** For [[http://notalwaysright.com/blt-better-luck-tomorrow-part-4 these employees]], customers apparently have to specifically ask for lettuce and tomato to be added to their ''BLT sandwiches''. That lettuce and tomato are in its name, right after the bacon that they ''did'' add, means nothing.
** Likewise for [[http://notalwaysright.com/with-no-bacon-comes-irresponsibility this restaurant]], where a BBQ '''bacon''' burger apparently does not come with bacon - and, to add insult to injury, the waitress the submitter asked about it charged extra for the "add-on" after getting them the bacon they were supposed to get in the first place.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/how-to-win-the-war-against-telemarketers-part-7 This Indian Telemarketer]] doesn't seem to understand that the family he's repeatedly calling is not interested in what he's selling despite the numerous time they insult him and threaten to call the police. The Telemarketer finally stop after the police contacted his superiors.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/pig-headed-about-the-sign Despite the US Navy]] telling their cooks to put meat signs on their food so their Arabic guests won't accidentally eat food that is against their religious beliefs, one cook doesn't understand why he has to put a sign on his Calicon corn despite the fact the dish contains pork.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/theyre-all-high-on-e These two tech support]] don't seem understand because the submitter new computer is a Mac that runs OSX, they cannot install Internet Explorer which is only available on Windows.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/caught-in-the-middle-name This employee]] refuses to believe that the 24 year old submitter has an unconventional middle name, screaming that she's been "lied to" even after the submitter explicitly states multiple times that the name in question is her middle name, not the first part of a hyphenated last name. The supervisor who scolds the employee and takes over notes that the employee always did this and was likely going to be let go because of that incident.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/might-well-sleeping-job This submitter]] was suffering from excessive fatigue and oversleeping. The doctor, for whatever reason, decided his patient was clearly suffering from '''insomnia''' [[note]]which is when you ''can't'' sleep, just for the record[[/note]] and needed to take over-the-counter sleep aids. "He's my ex-doctor now."
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/your-credit-score-is-underage This credit card scammer]] calls a 12 year old boy's cell phone, and simply cannot get through her head, even after being repeatedly told by the boy's mother, that the boy cannot possibly have a credit card at his age.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/steve-me-alone/93645/ This debt collector]] does not get the idea that "Steve" doesn't live in the household he is calling, and never has. Even after being told that "Steve" had ''died'' the previous spring, the collector continues berating and harassing the submitter at least three times a week, prompting her to file a complaint with the Attorney General.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/say-bye-bi-coworker/110476/ This female co-worker]] does not seem to understand her male co-worker is a bisexual and not gay. Even worse, for all of her concerns that her male co-worker maybe being forced to "date" his girlfriend by his parents and not because he actually likes her, she immediately judges his girlfriend must be a transsexual as the reason why he's dating her and thinks he's into gay stereotypes like drag queens and good fashion sense.
* TooDumbToLive:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/totally-pill-aged This nurse]] downs an entire bag of pills, despite not knowing who they belong to or what they are for. Fortunately for her (and possibly unfortunately for the rest of us), they were mostly harmless lactose-intolerance pills, so no Website/{{Darwin Award|s}} for her (at least, not yet).
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/putting-your-selfie-in-danger These coworkers]] stop in the middle of a stairwell during a fire drill to take a selfie, [[LethallyStupid endangering the people behind them]] as ''well'' as themselves. Had this been an ''actual'' emergency, photobombing their selfie (as the submitter suggested) would have been ''too light'' a reaction.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/totally-off-your-nut This guy]] has a nut allergy severe enough for him to take an Epipen to work everyday and thinks the reason for nearly dying after eating an ALMOND JOY! was that that it had coconut in it.
* {{Troll}}: [[https://notalwaysright.com/do-you-speak-asian/108817/ When the submitter's boyfriend]] runs into a racist cashier who assumes he doesn't speak English [[FailedASpotCheck despite the fact that he just did]], the boyfriend responds by swapping to Mandarin until the cashier [[RageQuit leaves in frustration]], then swaps right back to English.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:U-V]]
* UnwantedAssistance: [[invoked]]
** An optician has to bend the glasses to fit properly on the patient's face...[[http://notalwaysright.com/infinitely-loopy-part-6 then proceeds to unbend them so they'll fit in the hard case]]. Eventually the patient uses a paraphrase of the former trope name "Stop Helping Me".
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/return-this-rep-to-sender This Cable Rep]] claims he/she can help the submitter but is being difficult in settling an unjustified shipping cost. The submitter asks for someone else to help her instead.
* UnwittingInstigatorOfDoom: [[https://notalwaysright.com/santa-existential-crisis/102454/ A callous daycare worker tells a five year old girl that Santa doesn't exist]]. The girl's mother angrily confronts the worker, and reveals that her husband ''died on Christmas Day the previous year''. A visit from Santa was the one thing keeping the poor girl's spirits up that Christmas Season, and now the worker most likely ruined Christmas forever for her daughter. Several parents witnessed the confrontation, and they were so outraged over the worker's actions that they ended their own kids' enrollment at the daycare, crippling the buisness in the process. [[RealityEnsues Needless to say, the worker got fired afterwards for her misconduct and the consequences that ensued]].
* UnwittingPawn: [[https://notalwaysright.com/key-good-scam-hapless-employee/106668/ This hotel front desk agent]] almost ends up this for a credit card thief because she doesn't understand how keyless entry approval works[[note]]contrary to her incorrect belief that keyless entry has to be manually approved for it to work, leading her to ''approve every keyless entry request in advance'', the system automatically approves everyone who meets criteria and ''only'' everyone who meets criteria, so by approving the requests, all she's been doing is approving people who don't meet criteria, i.e. low-tier rewards program members and ''criminals''[[/note]]. Luckily, the submitter catches her (months-long) mistake long before the thief is due to arrive, and quickly retrains her in order to put an end to the mistake before locking the thief out of her room.
* VengefulVendingMachine: [[http://notalwaysright.com/drives-you-round-the-vend Yep, they exist.]]
* VetinariJobSecurity:
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/just-got-rid-of-his-breadwinner It took exactly two days for the new owner to realize that he had fired the only man who knew all of the recipes and who dealt with over half our regular clientele.]]"
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-in-a-happy-replace This]] salesperson has a WrongGenreSavvy moment here because she assumes this is the case. She's very firmly proven otherwise.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/engineering-a-problem The new manager]] in an aerospace company dismisses what he thinks is an overpaid secretary (StayInTheKitchen is heavily implied). Nope, she was the only one with the applied mathematics skills necessary for the group to do the work... and it's not ''nearly'' as easy to replace her as the manager thinks it would be, especially since [[WhatAnIdiot he actually believes people with master's degrees in applied mathematics would be beating down their door]] to apply for an ''unpaid internship''. So idiotic was this move, that one coworker actually called the manager a "[[SoundEffectBleep f**[=*=]***]] moron" to his face. Four months later, the coworker ''still'' hasn't been replaced; meanwhile, the former coworker has found a better-paying job with a competitor, and the CEO, once it became known ''why'' certain projects had been stalled for months, [[WhatWereYouThinking tore into the supervisor]] before firing him.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/you-cant-dismiss-the-karma-on-this-one/131545/ This manager]] managed to [[HoistByHisOwnPetard invoke]] it, by giving the submitter the most difficult possible tasks as part of a bullying campaign. When she ends up firing the submitter for not giving in to her bullying (resulting in the manager losing a wrongful dismissal suit), it turns out that, since the submitter was doing all the hard work on a project, ''nobody else had the required knowledge to finish it''. And while the submitter certainly ''can'' help them out, they make it clear that there's no way they're going to lift a finger for their BadBoss.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:W-X]]
* WackyCravings: The poster thinks this is going on in [[http://notalwaysright.com/showered-with-irresponsibility this]] story, and tries to warn the customer about the dangers. It turned out that while the customer's daughter ''is'' pregnant, she doesn't have a craving for mayonnaise -- she's making deviled eggs for the baby shower.
* WaifFu: [[http://notalwaysright.com/secure-in-her-ability Two former bouncers]] are hired for a security firm and notice a 5'1" girl in one of their training courses. They complain about the girl getting higher pay than them, just as one of the men is brought up for a demonstration with her. She then proceeds to flip him flat on his ass during the demonstration, much to his surprise. The instructor's line at the end sums it up perfectly.
--->'''Instructor:''' Celebrities hire guys like you to stand in front of them and look scary; millionaire businessmen hire people like her if they want real security.
* WaxingLyrical:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-is-not-one-of-the-better-times With lyrics from "Tubthumping" by Chumbawumba.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-great-gummi-massacre "Gummi bears...]] [[WesternAnimation/AdventuresOfTheGummiBears lying here and there and everywhere..."]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/i-like-my-coworkers-better-that-way "Why did Constantinople get the works?"]] [[Music/TheyMightBeGiants "That's nobody's business but the Turks'."]]
* WhatCouldPossiblyGoWrong: [[http://notalwaysright.com/if-you-cant-stand-the-heat-stay-out-of-the-microwave The worst they can say is no.]]
* WhatDoesThisButtonDo: [[https://notalwaysright.com/cleaning-at-an-alarming-rate/56544/ This new employee]] finds an unlabeled button near the register and presses it, thinking it might release something that they would have to clean. Turns out that button was the silent alarm and pressing it alerted the police. The employee doesn't end up reprimanded because, as their bosses say, they are not the first employee to do so. "People just like pushing buttons, even if they don’t know what they’re for."
* WhamLine: At the end of [[https://notalwaysright.com/analyse-this-i-quit/119844/ this story]]:
--> Oh, and did I mention the boss was my step-dad?
* WhosOnFirst:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/ques-on-second And Qué's on second.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/listening-with-reckless-a-banned-on The difference]] between "band" and "banned".
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/saved-by-the-bell Anita Bellman]]. ''Not'' "I need a bellman."
* WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes: [[http://notalwaysright.com/when-live-wires-get-their-wires-crossed Well, spiders in this case.]] It scares the guy so much he ScreamsLikeALittleGirl.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/walking-playing-dead/102883// Or perhaps this opossum]]
* WhyWeCantHaveNiceThings: [[http://notalwaysright.com/got-them-by-hook-or-by-crook This company]] stopped giving "fools' errands" to new employees after one nearly cost them over £1800 (Turns out, 'skyhooks' [[AluminumChristmasTrees really do exist]], though they're not used for holding up the sky).
* [[WritersCannotDoMath Workers Cannot Do Math]]:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/penny-unwise-and-pound-foolish Here are two people who don't understand fractions.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/your-math-is-my-gain Here's one]] that doesn't understand subtraction.
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/makes-a-difference-when-cashiers-are-minus-a-few-brain-cells Here's another]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/being-patient-can-be-paint-ful Here's one]] who doesn't know how to convert a "recipe" for a quart of paint to a gallon.[[note]]For those who don't use those measurements: just multiply everything by four.[[/note]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-day-late-and-991000-dollars-short “The new store in [city] just made $9,000 last week. That’s almost a million!”]] That's an epic case of MisplacedADecimalPoint, ''at best''.
** When a person fails to understand that 12 ounces are three quarters of a pound, it's somewhat understandable. [[http://notalwaysright.com/an-ounce-of-common-sense-is-worth-a-pound-of-queries When that person can't comprehend a fraction like "three quarters", it's this trope.]]
** A dozen is twelve, but [[http://notalwaysright.com/their-math-dozent-add-up somehow these two never learned that]].
*** Likewise, [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-duh-zen this cashier]] thinks that a dozen means twenty, but is quickly proven wrong when her manager makes her fetch a carton of a dozen eggs and then count them out to him. She was fired over the debacle soon after.
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-quite-a-bakers-dozen This bakery]] doesn't understand that a half-dozen is six, either.
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cant-think-outside-the-box This submitter]] splits two dozen donuts between three boxes, to which the cashier tries to charge them for three dozen - apparently a "dozen" is simply however many donuts happen to be in a box, rather than a concrete number.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/yes-age-no-standing/97083/ This liquor store cashier]] doesn't seem to get that a customer born in 1989 is old enough to purchase alcohol in the UK in 2011. When the submitter tries to correct her and say that they are 21, she tries to use [[InsaneTrollLogic her own mathematics]] to prove them wrong... only to end up with 18 as her answer, which is ''still'' old enough to buy alcohol under UK law. Fortunately, the owner eventually steps in and rings up the submitter, and the cashier is fired some time later.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/only-half-listening This sandwich shop worker]] doesn't understand what "cut it in half" means and has to be told to cut the sandwich into 2 pieces.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/theyre-not-on-the-same-page This lawyer]] cannot get a single printer to print a Word document - which turns out to be because he's telling the printers to print the fourth page of a document that only has three pages.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/making-a-fractionally-better-coffee This coworker]] doesn't get that a drink which is three-thirds coffee would be ''all'' coffee.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-number-must-have-popsicled-into-their-head This cashier]] doesn't know how "buy one, get one ''free''" works.
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/ive-gotta-find-this-pizza-place This one]], meanwhile, misunderstands the "buy" part and thinks the customer gets ''everything'' free.
** The introduction to [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-minor-business-flaw this story]] mentions that some of the interviews the submitter went to were doomed from the start, because they were looking for someone with five- to ten-years' experience with software that wasn't even two years old.
** Same deal in [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-a-pleasant-experience this story]], where the interviewer is looking for people with ten years' worth of work experience, but then refuses to hire the submitter who has double that, because he's not in his mid-20's [[AggressiveCategorism and therefore cannot possibly know anything about computers]]. The submitter points out the ridiculousness of this as he's leaving by telling them "good luck finding someone who graduated at age 10".
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/has-zero-understanding-of-zero This agent]] cancels a woman's tuition account because the woman didn't pay anything over the last two months, even when ''both'' the agent and the submitter plainly see that the woman's charges for those two months is zero dollars.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/i-can-write-you-a-cheque-but-it-will-all-come-to-naught/64130/ The submitter here]] gets an electric bill for £0.00. When he sends nothing, the company threatens to send bailiffs to recoup the amount of the debt, continually failing to understand that the bill is for "NAUGHT pounds and NAUGHT pence." It gets to the point that the submitter simply sends a check for £0.00 to satisfy the electric company.
* WorstAid: The "Medical Office", "Hospital", and "Health & Body" tags are ''full'' of [[AddedAlliterativeAppeal doctor don'ts, nurse nuisances, and receptionist rejections]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/sleeping-on-the-job This story]] is particularly cringe-worthy.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-painful-diagnosis Sometimes, it pays to explain things to the doctor]]--the hospital goes into a wild goose chase over a nurse's incorrect diagnosis until the patient finally is able to talk to a ''doctor'' and tell ''them'' what's wrong. The doctor gets a major OhCrap moment when the patient's description of the symptoms hits home--turns out the patient had cancer!
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/wont-let-finnish-sentence These paramedics]] state that an elderly woman is being "uncooperative" all while completely ignoring the woman's family's insistence that she only speaks Finnish.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/how-to-be-a-total-asthma/92393/ This Doctor]] fails to notice a five year old girl has asthma, dissmissing the girl's mother's arguments, even though she is a nurse and knows the sympthons of asthma. Worse, the Doctor claimed to be a member of the board of Asthma Awareness. Fortunately, another doctor knows better and sends the girl to [=ICU=], where she makes a full recovery.
* WouldHurtAChild: Not in the usual sense that this trope implies, but [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-feeding-frenzy/65023/ this callous NICU nurse]] cares so little about her patients that she lays a premature baby down flat after nursing (causing her to vomit) ''and'' carelessly gives her breast milk from another baby's mother (which could have been contaminated).
* WoundedGazelleGambit:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/born-to-help Inverted with this manager]], who thinks an 8-months-pregnant cashier is faking a sickness. Turns out, it was very real.
** Also inverted with [[https://notalwaysright.com/thought-it-was-some-kind-of-sick-joke this manager]], who threatens to discipline the submitter for feigning illness to take the previous day off, despite them exhibiting ''obvious signs'' of illness and even '''passing out''' in front of her. Fortunately, [[LaserGuidedKarma the manager was later fired]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/his-race-card-has-expired In this story]] the submitter's manager reveals that a customer accused them of racially abusing him. It turns out that he (the customer) bullied the submitter when they went to school, and [[EverythingIsRacist cried racism whenever the submitter complained.]] When the coworker's classmate vouches for the submitter, the manager immediately drops the complaint.
* WrongGenreSavvy: Quite a number of bosses and co-workers fall under this.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/hater-waiter In this case]], the manager believes he's in a Not Always Right story, handling a rude and aggressive customer. Turns out, he's in a Not Always Working story, with his waiter being mean.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/cardboard-cut-cashier-better This cashier]] thinks she is the OnlySaneMan in a Not Always Right story to the end, refusing to let herself be proven wrong.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/a-crazy-fan-with-a-few-wires-loose/ This repair company]] thinks they're in a Not Always Right story with yet another customer overreporting a problem (saying a ceiling fan was hanging by its wires; every other time someone's ever reported this to them, it was only the canopy that fell off). The electrician they eventually send to humor the crazy customer is quite surprised to find that said customer's problem was NotHyperbole - unlike every other customer who reported that issue, her fan ''really was'' hanging by its wires and ready to fall at any moment.
* WrongRestaurant: Subverted in [[https://notalwaysright.com/misteaken-cowmprehension this]] story. A man goes into a vegetarian restaurant and orders a steak. The newly hired waitress (telling the story) has to inform him that as a vegetarian restaurant, they don't serve steak. But then the owner's daughter reveals that they do serve steak. It turns out she doesn't know what "vegetarian" means, and the owner doesn't have the heart to tell her - which leads to the restaurant closing down just weeks later after an ''actual'' vegetarian restaurant opened across the street.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Y-Z]]
* YouAreAlreadyDead: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-baker-they-need-not-the-baker-they-deserve Discussed.]]
* YouAreBetterThanYouThinkYouAre: [[http://notalwaysright.com/whining-about-the-dining A coffee-shop employee]] gives a self-loathing coworker a pick-me-up this way, DrillSergeantNasty style. Note that the narrator delivered it that way because they thought the "self-loathing" coworker was just whining to get attention, and given that it apparently worked they were likely right.
* YouCantMissIt: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-colour-derple This receptionist]] gives directions from the current doctor's office to the office of a specialist for people with color-blind vision... citing landmarks by color. Thankfully, once the patient spells out the problem, the receptionist finally seems to realize what they were doing wrong.
* YouDidntAsk: [[http://notalwaysright.com/served-by-sheldon-cooper A perfect demonstration]] of just how annoying this trope really is.
* YouKeepUsingThatWord:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/misteaken-cowmprehension The daughter of the owner of this restaurant]] doesn't know what the word "vegetarian" means.
** Neither does [[http://notalwaysright.com/wont-make-ends-meat-with-that-attitude this server]]. Given the circumstances, it's equally possible that he ''does'' know, but either doesn't know what counts as meat (since he claims chicken noodle soup and bacon have no meat), or is deliberately being an asshole to the vegetarian customer (since, given the above thought process, he ignores the customer's request to not add bacon to their dish and then insults them for complaining).
--->''Needless to say, we didn't tip well.''
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-know-beans-about-the-menu-part-2 This worker]] makes the ''opposite'' of the usual mistake, extending the definition to include ''rice and beans''.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/killed-by-a-freudian-slip Maybe here]]. It's possible the boss meant someone ''else'' was killed in the accident, but it's not clear.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/thinker-failer-soldier-fly/ This trainee pilot]] doesn't quite understand what the "mile high club" is.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-determined-on-terminology This developer]] keeps using the wrong terms for a piece of software, and can't be convinced to use the correct ones. It's implied the developer uses a rather naughty term for the spinny thing that lets people know that something is loading (normally called a "[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Throbber throbber]]").
* YouMakeMeSic: [[http://notalwaysright.com/cant-quit-good-grammar This woman]] corrects a poorly-written comment from her manager.
* YoungerThanTheyLook: A ''doctor'' believes [[http://notalwaysright.com/taking-a-pregnant-pause-on-menopause a 29-year-old woman to be in her mid-40s]], accusing her of being afraid to own up to the possibility of going through menopause... [[SustainedMisunderstanding and when he meets her later during her pregnancy, he berates her for being such at such an advanced age.]]
** "[[https://notalwaysright.com/winker-waiter-father-cry/59480/ She's fourteen!?]]" And then the flirting waiter was never seen or heard from again.
* YourCheatingHeart: [[http://notalwaysright.com/fit-for-the-job This guy]] was on the other end of this trope - his wife was sleeping with his boss, who promptly fired him when he discovered it.
* ZillionDollarBill: Nope, [[http://notalwaysright.com/customers-actually-know-a-thing-or-two $2 bills exist]].
[[/folder]]
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