History Music / MariaCross

Maria Cross is a solo VisualKei singer allegedly [[InNameOnly of the Oshare Kei style]], known best for street performances in Tokyo that are closer to the extremes of noise music, grindcore, and noisegrind. Is Maria a StealthParody of VisualKei or just GiftedlyBad? No one really knows, although they have attained [[MemeticMutation legendary status]] in some corners of VisualKei for being either or both. That said, Maria Cross is something that, for the true visual kei fan, cannot be described, but simply must be ''experienced.'' In this experience, one may find some form of [[SoBadItsGood absolute zen understanding]]... or simply wonder why the DreadfulMusician page cannot have just ''one'' real-life example.

* NeoclassicalPunkZydecoRockabilly: The best label for [[HellIsThatNoise whatever]] their [[SensoryAbuse musical style]] is.

* [[YouGottaHaveBlueHair Impossible Hair Color]]

* MohsScaleOfRockAndMetalHardness: ''[[ReadingsAreOffTheScale Beyond]]'' [[UpToEleven 11]]. "Phyllis" and "Hoshi no Suna", while at Levels 7 and 9, respectively, are just as mutable as their other works.
** MohsScaleOfLyricalHardness: A ''rock-solid 11'' at their lightest..

* FollowTheLeader: Looks like every other Oshare Kei artist, ''ever.''
** In the ''one'' actual Oshare work they have, [[http://youtu.be/c6RDCfXPL8g this PV]], the music is the most bland, derivative Oshare ever, right down to the sound effects. It is possibly StealthParody... we hope.

* VisualKei
* WordSaladLyrics: When they're written down or semi-comprehensible at all, they are often this.
* [[WidgetSeries Widget Musician]]: Best described as "[[Music/AnalCunt Seth Putnam]] [[JustForFun/XMeetsY meets]] [[Music/{{Pantera}} Phil Anselmo]] meets TastesLikeDiabetes meets Music/{{Japan}}."

* {{Ephebophile}}: Arrested for and convicted for child molestation, and if they wasn't lying about their age, the incident involved an older teen when they was in their early 20s, so it would be ephebophilia in that case.

** In the ''one'' actual Oshare work they has, [[http://youtu.be/c6RDCfXPL8g this PV]], the music is the most bland, derivative Oshare ever, right down to the sound effects. It is possibly StealthParody... we hope.

* IntercourseWithYou: they apparently likes writing the word "sex" in their lyrics. [[OverlyLongGag Over and over again]].

* NoIndoorVoice: Possibly the defining characteristic of his music.
* {{Otaku}}: Very possible. If articles about him on various sites are to be believed, they apparently likes anime music and is [[DoubleEntendre good friends]] with [[CosplayOtakuGirl Shoko Nakagawa]]. They apparently like animesque [[{{Moe}} cute girls]]. And '''[[BreadEggsMilkSquick porn]]'''.

* {{Postmodernism}}: Has possibly brought the world's first Dadaist postmodern take on VisualKei... unless they really is just that bad.

* SopranoAndGravel: Maria tries. Instead it's more like ''[[Music/{{Pantera}} Gravel]] and [[Music/CannibalCorpse Meatgrinder]]''. They has their soprano moments, though they end up sounding like a bad [[{{Expy}} clone]] of Music/DirEnGrey vocalist Kyo.

Maria Cross is a solo VisualKei singer allegedly [[InNameOnly of the Oshare Kei style]], known best for street performances in Tokyo that are closer to the extremes of noise music, grindcore, and noisegrind. Is Maria a StealthParody of VisualKei or just GiftedlyBad? No one really knows, although they has attained [[MemeticMutation legendary status]] in some corners of VisualKei for being either or both. That said, Maria Cross is something that, for the true visual kei fan, cannot be described, but simply must be ''experienced.'' In this experience, one may find some form of [[SoBadItsGood absolute zen understanding]]... or simply wonder why the DreadfulMusician page cannot have just ''one'' real life example.

* ButtMonkey: Has become a near memetic symbol of [[EpicFail failure]] at VisualKei, for a variety of reasons ranging from their child molestation arrest to their singing style by those who just see it as straight up bad music rather than StealthParody, to their very derivative take on Oshare Kei and yet inability to match anything but the appearance of it. It's often said that they would have made a workable (and successful) Eroguro or metal singer with their screaming capacity (their HarshVocals can easily rival Kiyoharu, [[Music/DirEnGrey Kyo]], [[Music/TokyoYankees Ume]] and ''even'' [[Music/AnalCunt Seth Putnam]], and their cleans are ''far better'' than Music/DynamiteTommy's...), or if they marketed or presented as a noise artist like Music/{{Merzbow}} or Music/MeltBanana, that would have been a far better genre.

Maria Cross is a solo VisualKei singer allegedly [[InNameOnly of the Oshare Kei style]], known best for street performances in Tokyo that are closer to the extremes of noise music, grindcore, and noisegrind. Is zhe a StealthParody of VisualKei or just GiftedlyBad? No one really knows, although zhe has attained [[MemeticMutation legendary status]] in some corners of VisualKei for being either or both. That said, Maria Cross is something that, for the true visual kei fan, cannot be described, but simply must be ''experienced.'' In this experience, one may find some form of [[SoBadItsGood absolute zen understanding]]... or simply wonder why the DreadfulMusician page cannot have just ''one'' real life example.

* AmbiguousGender: No one knows. Zhe has referred to zirself as male and as female, as have outside sources, though zhe was born male. The nongendered pronouns are probably best, because, again, ''no one really knows.''
* BrownNote: It is likely zhe has created a few of these.
* ButtMonkey: Has become a near memetic symbol of [[EpicFail failure]] at VisualKei, for a variety of reasons ranging from zis child molestation arrest to zis singing style by those who just see it as straight up bad music rather than StealthParody, to zis very derivative take on Oshare Kei and yet inability to match anything but the appearance of it. It's often said that zhe would have made a workable (and successful) Eroguro or metal singer with zis screaming capacity (zis HarshVocals can easily rival Kiyoharu, [[Music/DirEnGrey Kyo]], [[Music/TokyoYankees Ume]] and ''even'' [[Music/AnalCunt Seth Putnam]], and zis cleans are ''far better'' than Music/DynamiteTommy's...), or if zhe marketed/presented as a noise artist like Music/{{Merzbow}} or Music/MeltBanana, that would have been a far better genre.
* CarefulWithThatAxe: EVERYTHING ZHE SINGS.

* {{Ephebophile}}: Arrested for and convicted for child molestation, and if zhe wasn't lying about zis age, the incident involved an older teen when zhe was in zis early 20s, so it would be ephebophilia in that case.

** In the ''one'' actual Oshare work zhe has, [[http://youtu.be/c6RDCfXPL8g this PV]], the music is the most bland, derivative Oshare ever, right down to the sound effects. It is possibly StealthParody... we hope.

* IndecipherableLyrics: If you can actually tell what zhe's saying in ''any'' song other than in the Oshare PV, congratulations! You win a prize... to take back with you [[GoMadFromTheRevelation to the insane asylum]].
* IntercourseWithYou: Zhe apparently likes writing the word "sex" in zis lyrics. [[OverlyLongGag Over and over again]].

* MohsScaleOfRockAndMetalHardness: ''[[ReadingsAreOffTheScale Beyond]]'' [[UpToEleven 11]]. "Phyllis" and "Hoshi no Suna", while at Levels 7 and 9, respectively, are just as mutable as zis other works.
** MohsScaleOfLyricalHardness: A ''rock-solid 11'' at zis lightest..
* NeoclassicalPunkZydecoRockabilly: The best label for [[HellIsThatNoise whatever]] zis [[SensoryAbuse musical style]] is.

* {{Otaku}}: Very possible. If articles about him on various sites are to be believed, zhe apparently likes anime music and is [[DoubleEntendre good friends]] with [[CosplayOtakuGirl Shoko Nakagawa]]. Zhe apparently likes animesque [[{{Moe}} cute girls]]. And '''[[BreadEggsMilkSquick porn]]'''.

* {{Postmodernism}}: Has possibly brought the world's first Dadaist postmodern take on VisualKei... unless zhe really is just that bad.

* ScreamsLikeALittleGirl: One of zis most-used vocal techniques.
* SecretIdentity: With the connections and similar that Maria has, there's rumors that zhe is actually an active professional visual kei artist (though either as a non-vocalist or sticking to a more traditional style) or a seiyuu, and that the entire StreetMusician thing is an act to parody something.
* SopranoAndGravel: Maria tries. Instead it's more like ''[[Music/{{Pantera}} Gravel]] and [[Music/CannibalCorpse Meatgrinder]]''. Zhe has his soprano moments, though zhe ends up sounding like a bad [[{{Expy}} clone]] of Music/DirEnGrey vocalist Kyo.
* StealthParody: VERY possible. The StrictlyFormula PV, the failure at everything related to the style zhe claims to represent, the most execrably written lyrics possible... in fact, pretty much the only ways to interpret Maria Cross is as postmodern StealthParody of VisualKei, or as, at the very best, [[GiftedlyBad downright atrocious]].
* StreetMusician: This is Maria's primary way of performing. With no permits and [[NoIndoorVoice no controls]] on [[SensoryAbuse amplified sound]] etc, so zhe tends to get in a lot of trouble with the police.

* ThreeChordsAndTheTruth: Zis recording and performance setups are pretty...low-fi at best, so zis singing may actually be forgivable due to that.

* {{Lolicon}}/{{Shotacon}}: Arrested for and convicted for child molestation, although if zhe wasn't lying about zis age, the incident involved an older teen when zhe was in zis early 20s, so whether the incident was actually indicative of true pedophilia is debatable.

* [[WidgetSeries Widget Musician]]: Best described as "[[Music/AnalCunt Seth Putnam]] [[JustForFun/XMeetsY meets]] [[Music/{{Pantera}} Phil Anselmo]] meets TastesLikeDiabetes meets {{Japan}}."

* [[WidgetSeries Widget Musician]]: Best described as "[[Music/AnalCunt Seth Putnam]] [[XMeetsY meets]] [[Music/{{Pantera}} Phil Anselmo]] meets TastesLikeDiabetes meets {{Japan}}."

* DyeHard: Just look at the image, again.

* WhatCouldHaveBeen: Had zhe taken on another look than "cute Oshare-kei," and had zhe also worked in some way to fuse VisualKei with grindcore or noise, and, you know, [[BreadEggsMilkSquick not screwed a kid]], zhe possibly would have been as famous as Music/{{Boris}} or Music/{{Merzbow}} or Music/{{MeltBanana}} for actual artistic work, rather than famous for being a public nuisance, a likely parody of genre and style, [[BreadEggsMilkSquick being in gay porn]], and [[{{Shotacon}} screwing a kid]].

* ButtMonkey: Has become a near memetic symbol of [[EpicFail failure]] at VisualKei, for a variety of reasons ranging from zis child molestation arrest to zis singing style by those who just see it as straight up bad music rather than StealthParody, to zis very derivative take on Oshare Kei and yet inability to match anything but the appearance of it. It's often said that zhe would have made a workable (and successful) Eroguro or metal singer with zis screaming capacity (zis HarshVocals can easily rival Kiyoharu, [[Music/DirEnGrey Kyo]], [[Music/TokyoYankees Ume]] and ''even'' [[Music/AnalCunt Seth Putnam]], and zis cleans are ''even better'' than Music/DynamiteTommy's...), or if zhe marketed/presented as a noise artist like Music/{{Merzbow}} or Music/MeltBanana, that would have been a far better genre.

* AnimeHair: As per Oshare Kei standard. Just look at the picture.

* ButtMonkey: Has become a near memetic symbol of [[EpicFail failure]] at VisualKei, for a variety of reasons ranging from zis child molestation arrest to zis singing style by those who just see it as straight up bad music rather than StealthParody, to zis very derivative take on Oshare Kei and yet inability to match anything but the appearance of it. It's often said that zhe would have made a workable (and successful) Eroguro or metal singer with zis screaming capacity (zis HarshVocals can easily rival Kiyoharu, [[Music/DirEnGrey Kyo]], [[Music/TokyoYankees Ume]] and ''even'' [[Music/AnalCunt Seth Putnam]], and zis cleans are ''even better'' than Music/DynamiteTommy's...), or if zhe marketed/presented as a noise artist like Merzbow or Melt Banana, that would have been a far better genre.

* WhatCouldHaveBeen: Had zhe taken on another look than "cute Oshare-kei," and had zhe also worked in some way to fuse VisualKei with grindcore or noise, and, you know, [[BreadEggsMilkSquick not screwed a kid]], zhe possibly would have been as famous as Boris or Merzbow or Melt Banana for actual artistic work, rather than famous for being a public nuisance, a likely parody of genre and style, [[BreadEggsMilkSquick being in gay porn]], and [[{{Shotacon}} screwing a kid]].

YouHaveBeenWarned!\\