History Main / YouShouldHaveDiedInstead

* In ''WesternAnimation/TheBookOfLife'', [[spoiler:when Maria has (seemingly) been killed by a snake that was about to bite Manolo, Manolo thinks it should have been him, and Joaquin says yes, it ''should'' have. He regrets this when Manolo is later found dead after accepting Xibalba's deal]].

** In the Saiyan Saga, a freshly mourning Bulma tells Yajirobe that he should have been killed by the Saiyans instead of Yamcha, Tien, Chiaotzu, and Piccolo, after he basically told the other characters "Hey, ''I'm'' still alive, you know!". Given that [[DirtyCoward Yajirobe spent most of the battle hiding from Nappa and Vegeta instead of fighting alongside the heroes,]] [[JerkassHasAPoint Bulma wasn't necessarily in the wrong for angry at him]].
--->'''Bulma:''' ''YOU'' should have died!! '''YOOOUUU!!!!!'''

** In the Saiyan Saga, a freshly mourning Bulma tells Yajirobe that he should have been killed by the Saiyans instead of Yamcha, Tien, Chiaotzu, and Piccolo, after he basically told the other characters "Hey, ''I'm'' still alive, you know!". Given that [[DirtyCoward Yajirobe spent most of the battle hiding from Nappa and Vegeta instead of fighting alongside the heroes,]] Bulma had every right to be angry at him.

** Catelyn Stark throws this at her husband Ned Stark's illegitimate child, [[HeroicBastard Jon]], in ''A Game of Thrones''. She resents Jon not because of Jon himself, but because Jon is Ned's illegitimate son with another woman who Ned brought home to raise alongside Catelyn's trueborn children with Ned. Catelyn wonders if she is living in the shadow of Ned's FirstLove because he is so fiercely protective of Jon and nothing Catelyn said was ever able to persuade Ned to send his illegitimate son away.
** It is implied InUniverse that a big part of the reason Tywin Lannister hates his dwarf son Tyrion is that Tyrion's mother and Tywin's wife Joanna—the only woman Tywin ever loved, the only person who made him something other than the ice-cold sociopathic bastard that he became—died giving birth to Tyrion. Tywin projects his resentment over this onto Tyrion. The fact that Tyrion was a dwarf (an embarrassment to Tywin) only makes things worse.
*** This is also part of the reason Cersei hates Tyrion so much, with this aspect being more pronounced in the show than in the books.

* In ''Film/{{Alaska}}'' Sean says to his father's face how he wishes he had died and not his mom.
** Unfortunately, parents don't need to use words to make such a message understood.

-->''"Lana, what's wrong with her? Why is she so horrible to me? I do what she asks. I try so hard to help her, and all I get is her anger. Her disapproval. She wasn't like this when dad was alive. I can't help but wonder, Lana... Why cuh--"'' (whispering) ''"...Why couldn't [Reactron] have killed her instead of father?"''
* ''ComicBook/{{Watchmen}}'': Rorschach's backstory reveals that [[SonOfAWhore his mother was a prostitute]], and as a child, he interrupted her while she was busy on the job. Her john left, paying only a token amount, and she descended angrily on her son -- slapping him, shaking him, and shouting "I should have had that abortion!" As an adult, when he was informed of his mother's death, he responded with a single word: "Good."

* In ''Literature/TheLordOfTheRings'', Denethor believes his youngest son, Faramir, should have died in place of his elder brother Boromir, Denethor's favorite. He's less blatant about it in the books than in the film adaptation (the latter being the source of the page quote), but it's still there under the surface. It's strategic thinking mixed up with ParentalFavoritism as Boromir was widely considered the better warrior on top of Denethor getting on with him better. Faramir's refusal to take the Ring compounds this, as Denethor wanted one son or the other to bring it to him as a weapon of last resort--Boromir would have (or so Denethor believes) and Faramir utterly refused when given an even better chance to take it than his brother had. [[note]]As for who was responsible for the brothers having the places they did: both had the prophetic dream, Boromir claimed the quest out of BigBrotherInstinct, and Denethor agreed.[[/note]]

** It is implied InUniverse that a big part of the reason Tywin Lannister hates his dwarf son Tyrion is that Tyrion's mother and Tywin's wife Joanna -- the only woman Tywin ever loved, the only person who made him something other than the ice-cold sociopathic bastard that he became -- died giving birth to Tyrion. Tywin projects his resentment over this onto Tyrion. The fact that Tyrion was a dwarf (an embarrassment to Tywin) only makes things worse.

* In Creator/AndreNorton's ''Literature/StormOverWarlock'', when Shann finds Thorvald in the dreams, and Thorvald registers him, Thorvald says that Garth had died in the Throg attack, and Shann should have died too. On the other hand, he is still in the grip of the dreams at the time -- as soon as he realizes that Shann is really there, he is warm and welcoming. The dreams were tests of character, where both had to relive love and pain; [[spoiler:later, Thorvald takes Shann under his wing]].

* In the Literature/ChroniclesOfTheKencyrath short story "Hearts of Woven Shadow", Gerraint Highlord's favoritism of his eldest son Greshan extends to openly telling his younger son Ganth that he should have been the one to die (despite the fact that this is nonsensical--Ganth was nowhere near when Greshan died).

* ''Series/{{Lost}}'': Benjamin Linus's father expressed these sentiments to Ben -- that he'd wished Ben had died rather than his mother.

** ''VideoGame/TalesOfBerseria'': The final confrontation with [[BigBad Artorius]] leads him to tell Velvet [[spoiler:that he wished she and Laphicet had died during the first Crimson Night, instead of his wife Celica and their unborn son. Velvet understands, but points out that she knows it would have made no difference --]] either way, Artorius would have attempted to go through with his plan of [[spoiler:eradicating emotions in humanity]], just that his reason for doing so would have been their death instead.

Sometimes used in family situations to {{lampshade}} that the target of the comment is TheUnfavorite. A variation might be "I should have aborted you," "You were an accident" or something similar. An easy KickTheDog (or MoralEventHorizon) line. On the other hand, there are cases when Bob is right, and that if Carol had died, Alice would have lived (and, on occasion, that Carol should have died instead). This can lead to a WellDoneSonGuy relationship when it comes to a father-son dynamic.

'''Denethor:''' Yes. I wish that.

* In ''Series/{{Supernatural}}'', after [[spoiler: Charlie gets killed]], Dean [[TookALevelInJerkass takes another level in jerkass]] and tells his brother Sam: "I think it should be you up there — not her".

** Armin gets this ''again'' much later on when [[spoiler:he was chosen to be saved over Erwin]]. Levi [[spoiler:was given a serum that would transform someone into a Titan, and it was up to him to decide who to use it on]]. [[spoiler:Armin and Erwin]] were both on the verge of death after an excruciating battle against [[spoiler:the Armored, Colossal, Beast and Cart Titans, and the Survey Corps had successfully captured Bertolt, the Colossal Titan]]. All the other characters at the scene ''insisted'' on [[spoiler:giving Erwin the serum]], but Eren and Mikasa physically fought Levi and Hange trying to persuade them otherwise. Eventually, Levi [[spoiler:chose Armin (his reasoning has yet to be discussed), who is now the Colossal Titan]]. Afterwards, at an official gathering, Floch who was [[spoiler:responsible for rescuing Erwin from the battlefield and bringing him to where the main characters were gathered]], approaches [[spoiler:Eren, Armin and Mikasa and calls them out on their actions, directly saying to Armin that he's not good enough to be Erwin's replacement. Eren retaliates saying that Floch knows absolutely nothing about Armin and that he shouldn't judge him, but Floch's opinion doesn't change at all]].

* In ''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries'' "[[Recap/BatmanTheAnimatedSeriesE49IAmTheNight I Am the Night]]", Gordon got shot during a raid and Batman blames himself for it because he arrived too late due to it being the anniversary of his parents' death (he was putting two roses at the spot their bodies lay). Later, Batman visits Gordon while in critical condition to apologize for not being there in time, then Bullock appears and agrees with him, and then says maybe the shooter Jazzman would have gotten Batman instead.

!!Examples

[[folder:Anime and Manga]]

* Minagi Tohno in ''VisualNovel/{{AIR}}'' reveals she was going to have a [[spoiler:little sister (to have been named Michiru) but her mother miscarried]]. Her mother [[spoiler:calls Minagi "Michiru"]].

--->'''Bulma:''' ''YOU'' should have died!! '''''YOOOUUU!!!!!'''''

* In a flashback in ''VisualNovel/H2OFootprintsInTheSand'', Hinata's grandfather wishes that [[spoiler:Hotaru, whom we had known to this point as Hinata]], had died instead of [[spoiler:her sister]]. So much that he forces her to [[spoiler:steal her sister's identity and renounce her room, her hobbies, and anything that made Hotaru distinct from the real Hinata]]. No wonder it hurts when the townspeople gossip that it was better that Hinata survived and Hotaru died.

* A flashback in ''Manga/JojosBizarreAdventureSteelBallRun'' shows that after his brother's death, Johnny's father told him that "God took the wrong son..."

* A variant occurs in ''Anime/PokemonIChooseYou''. After Charizard loses a battle to Cross, Ash gets mad and says that Pikachu could have won that battle. He runs into a forest in anger with Pikachu at his heels. He gets mad at Pikachu and says that he wished he'd gotten a Squirtle starter instead. He instantly regrets it but, in his anger, ignores it and runs away. It isn't until later that the two reconcile.

* In ''Comicbook/{{Hellblazer}}'', John Constantine gets this a lot. A lot of times, the people saying it are right. Even Constantine agrees.
** To rub salt in it, when we see another universe where John's stillborn brother survived instead of him, he's well-adjusted and liked, implying that it really ''should'' have been John.
* ''Comicbook/{{Watchmen}}'': Rorschach's backstory reveals that [[SonOfAWhore his mother was a prostitute]], and as a child, he interrupted her while she was busy on the job. Her john left, paying only a token amount, and she descended angrily on her son -- slapping him, shaking him, and shouting "I should have had that abortion!" As an adult, when he was informed of his mother's death, he responded with a single word: "Good."
* In the ''ComicBook/{{Chick Tract|s}}'' "Happy Hour," [[TheAlcoholic Jerry's]] daughter Janice, after breaking the bottles of alcohol he bought with the grocery money, tells him "We wish you'd died instead of Mommy!" which is more understandable than most instances since he pushed her over and caused her death from a heart attack when she tried to stop him from using their last money at the bars. This being a [[ComicBook/ChickTracts Jack Chick]] tract, Jerry repents and is EasilyForgiven by his children in the end.
* In the last arc of ''ComicBook/{{Runaways}}'', an accident results in an explosion that hits Old Lace and Klara. Old Lace covers Klara, shielding her from the blast, and apparently dies as a result. Throughout the arc, Chase makes it abundantly clear that he wishes Klara had died instead. Later, when the team shows up in ''ComicBook/AvengersAcademy'', it's heavily implied that Klara's developed such severe SurvivorsGuilt that she blames herself for the accident.
* In ''{{ComicBook/Circles}}'', Douglas says this cold-heartedly to Arthur after he blames himself and wishes it was him that got sick instead of Paulie.

* After [[spoiler: Ibuki's]] death in ''Fanfic/ANewHopeDanganronpa'', Kaede tries to comfort a distraught Leon (as he and the victim had a thing for each other), only for Leon to snap at her and say that it should have been her. [[spoiler: This outburst is later used to pin the murder on Leon, as the trap actually ''was'' meant to kill Kaede, but Nagito tampered with it so that it would kill someone else.]]

* ''[[Creator/SetaSuzume Your Own Kind]]'': The fianceé of Beto's district partner unsubtly indicates that he wishes she'd lived and Beto had died. Beto himself seems to agree (in an InsaneTrollLogic way), and feels that he needs to save a District 3 female tribute to restore the balance and make it feel as if his district partner were alive again.

-->'''Girard''': It should have been you that died in that rift, you cowardly son of a [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch]]. [[PrepareToDie Allow me to remedy that error now. Say hello to your barnyard gods for me]].

* In ''[[VideoGame/DotHackGUGames .hack//G.U.]]'', this happens to [[spoiler:Sakubo's player Iori]], who is an IllBoy in real world. Frustrated at her son's condition, [[spoiler:Iori]]'s mother wished the one who was alive was [[spoiler:Iori's stillborn twin sister, Sakura]].

* In ''WesternAnimation/Bambi II'', after Bambi learns that his father was planning on sending him away to live with another doe (a deal that his father was about to cut off from), he angrily snaps at his father, going as far as to say that he wish his mother with him instead of his father.

* In ''Bambi II'', after Bambi learns that his father was planning on sending him away to live with another doe (a deal that his father was about to cut off from), he angrily snaps at his father, going as far as to say that he wish his mother with him instead of his father.

* ''Series/{{Millennium}}'': In the third season, Mr. Miller tells Frank that he wishes Frank had died instead of Catherine. This is a fairly understandable case, as almost any family would choose their daughter over their son-in-law if push came to shove.

** In the Saiyan Saga, a freshly mourning Bulma tells Yajirobe that he should have been killed by the Saiyans instead of Yamcha, Tien, Chiaotzu and Piccolo, after he basically told the other characters "Hey, ''I'm'' still alive, you know!". Given that [[DirtyCoward Yajirobe spent most of the battle hiding from Nappa and Vegeta instead of fighting alongside the heroes,]] Bulma had every right to be angry at him.

* ''VisualNovel/{{Shuffle}}'': Eight years prior to the story, both of Rin's parents and Kaede's mother are killed in a car accident. Kaede became traumautized from the incident, losing her will to live. Rin overhears the doctor say that she needs a reason, any reason, to live. Rin then goes to Kaede and tells her that on the night of the accident, he was lonely and phoned his parents, asking them to come back. Since his parents and Kaede's mother rode in the same car, he essentially told Kaede that it was his fault that her mother died. This causes Kaede to snap out of her stupor and she tries to strangle Rin to death. Rin manages to escape, but since Kaede's father has taken Rin into their home, Rin must constantly put up with Kaede's deep hatred of him. While putting on a front of being friends with Rin around her father, Kaede does such things as vandalize Rin's room, drop a box-cutter on his face so that it [[EyeScream slices his eye]] while he's coming up the stairs, locks him out of the house when it's raining, and goes outside to meet him where she tells him "I don't understand. Why did my mother have to die, while someone like you still gets to live? I wish you were dead. I mean it! Just die!" Once she finds out that it was actually indirectly her fault that her mother died (she had fallen ill, and her father asked her mother and Rin's parents to come home) she then [[TheAtoner spends the next few years of her life completely devoting herself to Rin in an attempt to make up for how she treated him during their childhood]].
* In ''Manga/SkipBeat'', Rick died in a car accident and this event caused Kuon to fall into an AngstComa. Since Rick was only running after Kuon to stop him from getting into another fight and got hit by a car, there's quite a lot of [[ItsAllMyFault guilt]] on Kuon's side. Not helped by the blonde woman that cradled the dead Rick and not only said this trope to Kuon, but also called him a murderer. The only way Kuon got himself out of this AngstComa was [[spoiler:to become Ren Tsuruga]]. And when he almost gets into a car accident on a set involving a little child, he suffers horrible flashbacks.

** Armin gets this ''again'' much later on, when [[spoiler:he was chosen to be saved over Erwin]]. Levi [[spoiler:was given a serum that would transform someone into a Titan, and it was up to him to decide who to use it on]]. [[spoiler:Armin and Erwin]] were both on the verge of death after an excruciating battle against [[spoiler:the Armored, Colossal, Beast and Cart Titans, and the Survey Corps had successfully captured Bertolt, the Colossal Titan]]. All the other characters at the scene ''insisted'' on [[spoiler:giving Erwin the serum]], but Eren and Mikasa physically fought Levi and Hange trying to persuade them otherwise. Eventually, Levi [[spoiler:chose Armin (his reasoning has yet to be discussed), who is now the Colossal Titan]]. Afterwards, at an official gathering, Floch who was [[spoiler:responsible for rescuing Erwin from the battlefield and bringing him to where the main characters were gathered]], approaches [[spoiler:Eren, Armin and Mikasa and calls them out on their actions, directly saying to Armin that he's not good enough to be Erwin's replacement. Eren retaliates saying that Floch knows absolutely nothing about Armin and that he shouldn't judge him, but Floch's opinion doesn't change at all]].

* Late in ''Anime/{{Charlotte}}'', Kumagami and Nao abducted by some terrorists, who demand that Yuu turn himself over to them in exchange for the hostages' safety. Kumagami's colleagues in the "Syndicate" decide to send Yuu in to defeat the terrorists and save the hostages. The rescue attempt goes horribly wrong when Yuu loses an eye, thereby preventing him from turning back time, then inadvertently activates his "collapse" ability and destroys the building, with the hostages in the basement. Yuu manages to survive, by using his telekinesis, but Kumagami dies protecting Nao. After finding Yuu in the rubble, [[JerkAss Shichino]] says that he'll be angry if the other two are dead, and after Yuu learns of Kumagami's fate, Shichino says that it happened because Yuu was "trying to save (his) own ass."

* ''Comicbook/{{Watchmen}}'': Rorschach's backstory reveals that his mother was a prostitute, and as a child he interrupted her while she was busy on the job. Her john left, paying only a token amount, and she descended angrily on her son -- slapping him, shaking him, and shouting "I should have had that abortion!" As an adult, when he was informed of his mother's death, he responded with a single word: "Good."
* In the ''ComicBook/{{Chick Tract|s}}'' "Happy Hour," [[TheAlcoholic Jerry's]] daughter Janice, after breaking the bottles of alcohol he bought with the grocery money, tells him "We wish you'd died instead of Mommy!" which is more understandable than most instances, since he pushed her over and caused her death from a heart attack when she tried to stop him from using their last money at the bars. This being a [[ComicBook/ChickTracts Jack Chick]] tract, Jerry repents and is EasilyForgiven by his children in the end.

* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7775877/10/Lily-Potter-s-Biggest-Secret Lily Potter's Biggest Secret]]'' [[RonTheDeathEater Ron]] tells some vicious lies about Harry, Hermione and Snape to a ''Daily Prophet'' reporter in a bid for attention. Mama Weasley is Not Happy.

* In Bambi II, After Bambi learns that his father was planning on sending him away to live with another doe (a deal that his father was about to cut off from), he angrily snaps at his father, going as far as to say that he wish his mother with him instead of his father.

* In ''Film/IMissYouIMissYou'', after her twin sister Cilla gets hit by a car and dies while Tina remains unharmed, Tina has nightmares where Cilla tells Tina that she should have died instead because she didn't saw the car coming.

* The Johnny Cash biopic ''Film/WalkTheLine'' shows how Johnny's father blamed him for his brother's death, and didn't respect his musical accomplishments.
* In JerseyGirl2004, when Ollie and Gertie gets into a heated argument, Gertie reaches to a point where she says that she wished that Ollie died and not her mother.

** It is implied InUniverse that a big part of the reason Tywin Lannister hates his dwarf son Tyrion is because Tyrion's mother and Tywin's wife Joanna -- the only woman Tywin ever loved, the only person who made him something other than the ice-cold sociopathic bastard that he became -- died giving birth to Tyrion. Tywin projects his resentment over this onto Tyrion. The fact that Tyrion was a dwarf (an embarrassment to Tywin) only makes things worse.

* In the horror novel ''Literature/GhostRadio'', Joaquin had survived several near-fatal accidents that also killed his parents and friends, which eventually motivates him to start the titular call-in station to share [[GhostStory ghost stories]] on the air. His dead friend Gabriel, however, is ''pissed'' that Joaquin survived, since he knows that [[DoomMagnet anyone who gets too involved with Joaquin will eventually end up dead]], one way or another.

* ''VideoGame/{{Fable|I}}'': In the novel based off the video game, the main character is called into his dying mother's bedchamber where she tells him that she's happy that he survived the balverine attack instead of his brother, since he has prospects and business sense whereas his brother was just a dreamer. Only problem is that she's remembering it backwards and thinks he's his dead brother.

* In Haruki Murakami's ''Literature/NorwegianWood'' when one of the characters, Midori, is telling the protagonist her backstory, she talks about her mother dying and her father saying to her and her sister he'd rather they died than her, and how on one level she admitted the sentiment was very nice to her mother, but on the other it wasn't something a father should ''say'' to his daughters.

* In ''Literature/AYellowRaftInBlueWater'', it's the treatment Christine feels she got when she was attending the wake for her brother Lee's funeral, because she talked him into joining the army, which during his time of service he was sent to Vietnam and was reported as MIA.

* In Creator/MercedesLackey's ''Literature/LastHeraldMageTrilogy'', Vanyel, who is grieving and shocked from the loss of his lover Tylendel and being landed with half-a-dozen psychic gifts at once, gets this reaction from the Herald who is watching over him. While the man would never have said it out loud, Vanyel has just become an ''extremely'' powerful telepath, and hearing those thoughts pushes him over the edge and into a suicide attempt.

* In ''Series/{{Awake}}'', Rex says this of his father, though in a realistic spin, he's ashamed of it.

** And this gem.

--> ''Remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me? Well guess what, I am dead, dead to you as can be!"

* ''Webcomic/SlightlyDamned'': [[spoiler:Iratu]] is like this to Buwaro because he blames him for the deaths of both [[spoiler:Darius and Sakido]], at first being dismissive and rude, after learning [[TheAtoner why]] [[spoiler:Sakido]] [[HeroicSacrifice died]] apathetic and and occasionally violent and it comes to a head when Buwaro brings up [[spoiler:Darius]], this [[BerserkButton angers]] [[spoiler:Iratu]] so much he tries to kill him.

* After [[spoiler: Ibuki's]] death in ''Fanfic/ANewHopeDanganronpa'', Kaede tries to comfort a distraught Leon(as he and the victim had a thing for each other), only for Leon to snap at her and say that it should have been her. [[spoiler: This outburst is later used to pin the murder on Leon, as the trap actually ''was'' meant to kill Kaede, but Nagito tampered with it so that it would kill someone else.]]