History Main / NoIntelligentLifeHere

'''Pleakley:''' [[TooDumbToLive No]]. But they're very delicate. In fact, every time an [[ColonyDrop asteroid strikes their planet]], [[IWantMyJetpack they have to begin life all over.]] Fascinating, isn't it?
** However, [[spoiler: it becomes clear by the end of the movie that this was actually a [[SubvertedTrope subversion]]; mosquitoes aren't endangered, but the humans tricked the aliens into making Earth a protected habitat on the mosquitoes' behalf so that the aliens would leave them alone.]]

* Buzz Lightyear's introduction in ''WesternAnimation/ToyStory1'' could be read as a more subtle version of this. Immediately prior to meeting the other toys, Buzz, thinking he's a real space ranger, describes the "planet" (actually Andy's bedroom) that he finds himself in: "There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere." A screencap of the scene has become something of a small internet meme in which it gets juxtaposed with particularly stupid comments.

[[folder:Web Comics]]

-->'''Helix reading:''' Let's keep looking.

* In ''Webcomic/TheInexplicableAdventuresOfBob,'' the alien Nemesites have held the lease to our planet for eons, designating it as a nature preserve, and consider the young species of humanity to be unintelligent wildlife. Princess Voluptua is deeply concerned about whether changing that legal designation to grant humans Imperial Citizenship would do mankind more harm than good.

* In one episode of ''WesternAnimation/GarfieldAndFriends'', an alien, having observed the antics of the farm's residents (it was in the ''ComicStrip/USAcres'' segment), reports that the mission to find intelligent life has failed.
* ''WesternAnimation/DangerMouse'': In "The Aliens Are Coming," DM and Penfold have a rendezvous with a visiting spacecraft which houses what looks like a small mechanical being that is quite mischievous. After DM dispatches of it, a booming voice calls out "Well, get's go home, Gary. There's no intelligent life on this planet."

* The tongue-in-cheek [[http://www.totl.net/STI/ Search for Terrestrial Intelligence]] project from the 90s is still looking.

* In [[http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff1200/fv01104.htm this]] strip of ''Webcomic/{{Freefall}}'', when Sam and Helix are at the museum and they find a diorama of when Earth's cosmonauts discovered Sam's home planet.

* ''AudioPlay/BigFinishDoctorWho''. PlayedForDrama in "The Doomsday Contract" where the Doctor has to prove in a court of law that the Earth contains intelligent life so it won't be destroyed by a galactic construction company (the resemblance to ''Series/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy'' is likely not a coincidence, as Creator/DouglasAdams was script editor when Creator/JohnLloyd first wrote it).

->''Pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,\\
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.''

* ''Disney/LiloAndStitch'':

* The "The Galaxy Song" from ''Film/MontyPythonsTheMeaningOfLife'', concludes with this gem:

* The aforementioned "The Galaxy Song" from ''Film/MontyPythonsTheMeaningOfLife''.
* The struggling actor played by Creator/RobinWilliams in ''Film/MrsDoubtfire'' makes this joke during a scene where he demonstrates his ability to "do voices".

->'''Did you hear that scientists are looking for intelligent life on other planets? ...because they've given up trying to find it on Earth!'''

A Stock Joke that usually goes something like this:

->'''Alice:''' Did you hear that scientists are looking for intelligent life on other planets?\\
'''Bob:''' I guess they gave up on finding any on ''this'' planet!

Or in other cases:

->'''Alien agent/scientist:''' I came to this planet many years ago to investigate the rumors about existence of intelligent life, and I can safely say that they have been thoroughly disproven.

'''Alice''': "Did you hear that scientists are looking for intelligent life on other planets?"\\
'''Bob''': "I guess they gave up on finding any on ''this'' planet!"

'''Alien agent/scientist''': "I came to this planet many years ago to investigate the rumors about existence of intelligent life, and I can safely say that they have been thoroughly disproven."

[[folder: Fanfiction ]]

[[folder:Film]]
* ''Disney/LiloAndStitch'': Upon discovering that the titular alien has landed on an isolated island -- ''Hawaii'';
-->'''Grand Councilwoman''': Can we not simply destroy the island?\\
'''Pleakley''': NO, crazyhead! The mosquito's food of choice, primitive humanoid lifeforms, have colonies all over that place!\\
'''Grand Councilwoman''': Are they intelligent?\\
'''Pleakley''': [[TooDumbToLive No]]. But they're very delicate. In fact, every time an [[ColonyDrop asteroid strikes their planet]], [[IWantMyJetpack they have to begin life all over.]] Fascinating, isn't it?

* The beginning of ''Film/MuppetsFromSpace'', as well as a trailer joke there.
** The joke used in the film proper was a JustForFun/StatlerAndWaldorf quip about how they don't have lives on earth (as in social lives).

* Buzz Lightyear's introduction in ''WesternAnimation/ToyStory'' could be read as a more subtle version of this. Immediately prior to meeting the other toys, Buzz, thinking he's a real space ranger, describes the "planet" (actually Andy's bedroom) that he finds himself in: "There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere."
** A screencap of the scene has become something of a small internet meme in which it gets juxtaposed with particularly stupid comments.

[[folder:Live Action TV]]

'''Frasier''': ''(glares)'' At the moment, I'm not sure there's intelligent life in this ''kitchen''!

[[folder:Newspaper Comics]]
* ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes'' (''Scientific Progress Goes "Boink"'', page 29):
-->'''Calvin''': Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
** Recycled by ''ComicStrip/{{Shoe}}''.
* ''ComicStrip/{{Dilbert}}'' has [[http://dilbert.com/strip/1993-12-13 this strip from 1993]], where Dilbert is trying to rein in his co-worker's sales pitch:
-->'''Sales Guy:''' And our product has a thirty terabit RAM cache, just like your company needs. Tell him, Dilbert.\\
'''Dilbert:''' It has no RAM.\\
'''Sales Guy:''' And it's capable of detecting tachion field emissions.\\
'''Dilbert:''' You're confusing us with "[[Franchise/StarTrek Star Trek]]" again, Stan.\\
'''Sales Guy:''' We'll build that stuff into the next free upgrade.\\
'''Customer:''' We'll take it!\\
'''Dilbert:''' ''[thinking]'' Beam me up, Spock. There's no life on this planet.
* Used in ''ComicStrip/{{Mafalda}}'', when she and her friend Felipe eagerly await the radio news on the latest space flight to Mars, Felipe comments excited on how amazing it is that there may be life on other planets. When the radio instead only gives news on the Vietnam war and other conflicts, Mafalda says that the amazing thing is that there is life on ''this'' planet.
* ''ComicStrip/{{Ziggy}}'': "We're looking for intelligent life. If you find any, call this number."

-->'''Crumpella''': I wish we would discover someone else out there among the stars...\\
'''Slep''': Don't be silly, Crumpella! Everyone knows there's no intelligent life out there!

[[folder:Webcomics]]

-->'''Lindesfarne''': So in your world, there's only ONE intelligent species?\\
'''Ki''': Yeah, [[SapientCetaceans dolphins]]. Just kidding... but sometimes I think the jury's still out on us humans.\\
'''Lindesfarne''': But surely, with no significant differences to drive you apart, you must all live in peace and harmony!\\
'''Ki''': ...
* Main/{{Parodied}} in Webcomic/OzyAndMillie, where Millie pretends to be a space explorer on a search for ''un''intelligent life, which turns out to be extremely easy.

-->''There must be intelligent life out there, I hope so, there�s not much down here''

[[folder Webcomics]]

-->'''Brainy:''' What I don't undersmurf is where the spaceship smurfed from or what it's smurfing out here in the Smurf forest.
-->'''Snappy:''' Maybe there were alien beings on board that ship, Brainy, who decided to smurf overboard before you had a chance to bore them to smurf.
-->'''Slouchy:''' Yeah, they'd probably smurf that there's [[ButtMonkey no intelligent life down here]].

-->"Venus?" exclaimed Buster. "But that's impossible. According to the latest scientific reports, conditions on that planet make it unable to support any form of intelligent life!"
-->"The mysteries of the universe are indeed mysterious," said the President mysteriously. "Scientists have yet to prove that intelligent life exists on Earth. Who knows what wonders lie beneath the cloudy veils of that inscrutable world?"

[[folder: Film ]]

* ''Disney/LiloAndStitch'': Upon discovering that the titular alien has landed on an isolated island - ''Hawaii'';
-->'''Grand Councilwoman''': Can we not simply destroy the island?
-->'''Pleakley''': NO, crazyhead! The mosquito's food of choice, primitive humanoid lifeforms, have colonies all over that place!
-->'''Grand Councilwoman''': Are they intelligent?
-->'''Pleakley''': [[TooDumbToLive No]]. But they're very delicate. In fact, every time an [[ColonyDrop asteroid strikes their planet]], [[IWantMyJetpack they have to begin life all over.]] Fascinating, isn't it?

--->For years, science has speculated on the existence of intelligent life in space...
--->Now, there is living proof that there is no such thing.

[[folder: Literature ]]

[[folder: Live Action TV ]]

[[folder: Music ]]

[[folder: Newspaper Comics ]]

-->'''Sales Guy:''' And our product has a thirty terabit RAM cache, just like your company needs. Tell him, Dilbert.
-->'''Dilbert:''' It has no RAM.
-->'''Sales Guy:''' And it's capable of detecting tachion field emissions.
-->'''Dilbert:''' You're confusing us with "[[Franchise/StarTrek Star Trek]]" again, Stan.
-->'''Sales Guy:''' We'll build that stuff into the next free upgrade.
-->'''Customer:''' We'll take it!
-->'''Dilbert:''' ''[thinking]'' Beam me up, Spock. There's no life on this planet.

[[folder: Video Games ]]

[[folder: Webcomics ]]

* Used with alternate dimensions instead of space in the ''Webcomic/GeneralProtectionFault''/''Webcomic/KevinAndKell'' crossover, when Ki and Nick are visiting Kevin & Kell's world - filled with {{Talking Animal}}s of every size and shape - but no humans. Leading to this exchange...

[[folder: Western Animation ]]

[[folder: Other ]]

* The tagline for ''Film/SpacedInvaders'' in which dimwitted Martians 'invade' Earth after mistaking Creator/OrsonWelles' ''Radio/TheWarOfTheWorlds'' radio broadcast for an actual invasion.

* The tagline for ''Film/SpacedInvaders'' in which dimwitted Martians 'invade' Earth after mistaking Creator/OrsonWells' ''Radio/TheWarOfTheWorlds'' radio broadcast for an actual invasion.

* The tagline for ''Film/SpacedInvaders'' in which dimwitted Martian's 'invade' Earth after mistaking Radio/TheWarOfTheWorlds'' radio broadcast for the real thing.

[[AC:Fanfiction]]

[[AC:{{Film}}]]

[[AC:{{Literature}}]]

[[AC:LiveActionTV]]

[[AC:{{Music}}]]

-->''There must be intelligent life out there, I hope so, there’s not much down here''

[[AC:NewspaperComics]]

[[AC:VideoGames]]

[[AC:{{Webcomics}}]]

[[AC:WesternAnimation]]

[[AC:Other]]

* Used with alternate dimentions instead of space in the ''Webcomic/GeneralProtectionFault''/''Webcomic/KevinAndKell'' crossover, when Ki and Nick are visiting Kevin & Kell's world - filled with {{Talking Animal}}s of every size and shape - but no humans. Leading to this exchange...

* ''Disney/LiloAndStitch'': Upon discovering that the titular alien has landed on an isolated island - ''Hawaii'';
-->'''Grand Councilwoman''': Can we not simply destroy the island?
-->'''Pleakley''': NO, crazyhead! The mosquito's food of choice, primitive humanoid lifeforms, have colonies all over that place!
-->'''Grand Councilwoman''': Are they intelligent?
-->'''Pleakley''': [[TooDumbToLive No]]. But they're very delicate. In fact, every time an [[ColonyDrop asteroid strikes their planet]], [[IWantMyJetpack they have to begin life all over.]] Fascinating, isn't it?
** However, [[spoiler: it becomes clear by the end of the movie that this was actually a [[SubvertedTrope subversion]]; mosquitoes aren't endangered, but the humans tricked the aliens into making Earth a protected habitat on the mosquitoes' behalf so that the aliens would leave them alone.]]
* Buzz Lightyear's introduction in ''WesternAnimation/ToyStory'' could be read as a more subtle version of this. Immediately prior to meeting the other toys, Buzz, thinking he's a real space ranger, describes the "planet" (actually Andy's bedroom) that he finds himself in: "There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere."
** A screencap of the scene has become something of a small internet meme in which it gets juxtaposed with particularly stupid comments.

* ''[[Series/StarTrekVoyager Captain Proton]] and the Planet of Lesbians''. Earth has been attacked by a DeathRay from Venus.

** Recycled by ''ComicStrip/{{Shoe}}''.

[[AC:Comic Strips]]
* ''ComicStrip/{{Dilbert}}'' has [[http://dilbert.com/strip/1993-12-13 this strip from 1993]], where Dilbert is trying to rein in his co-worker's sales pitch:
-->'''Sales Guy:''' And our product has a thirty terabit RAM cache, just like your company needs. Tell him, Dilbert.
-->'''Dilbert:''' It has no RAM.
-->'''Sales Guy:''' And it's capable of detecting tachion field emissions.
-->'''Dilbert:''' You're confusing us with "[[Franchise/StarTrek Star Trek]]" again, Stan.
-->'''Sales Guy:''' We'll build that stuff into the next free upgrade.
-->'''Customer:''' We'll take it!
-->'''Dilbert:''' ''[thinking]'' Beam me up, Spock. There's no life on this planet.

* ''ComicStrip/{{Ziggy}}'': "We're looking for intelligent life. If you find any, call this number."