History Main / LysistrataGambit

** In Exodus chapter 19, Moses commanded the men of Israel to go on a sexual fast and not come near their wives in preparation for the "third day" when the Lord would meet with His people on Mount Sinai.

* ''Series/InterviewWithTheVampire2022'': In the fifth episode, Louis withholds sex from Lestat as payback for the latter's cruel ToughLove stance during the Charlie incident which drove Claudia away.

* ''Theatre/{{Lysistrata}}'', the TropeNamer, is an UnbuiltTrope version, in that it applies equally to both genders. The title character tries to end [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Peloponnesian_War the Peloponnesian War]] by getting women from ''both'' sides (Athens and Sparta, in this case) to withhold sex until peace reigns again. (Well, they also seize control of the city treasuries, but who cares about ''that''?) This is laughed at by the men: AllWomenAreLustful, so Lysistrata's sex strike shouldn't last five minutes. But the women manage to [[ValuesDissonance transcend their own base natures]], bringing the men to heel (it helps that the whole reason the women are upset in the first place is that they want the men to be home having sex with ''them'', not going off to war). The result? Peace throughout Greece... Well, in RealLife the war went on for around eight more years, but it was a nice thought.\\\

* A less obnoxious version comes from Music/JohannSebastianBach's "Coffee Cantata" (formally titled ''Schweigt stille, plaudert nicht''): the main character is a young woman who [[MustHaveCaffeine loves coffee so much]] that it worries her father, and he tries to bribe her into quitting by finding suitors for her. She then secretly tells each suitor that she will only marry him if he lets her [[MustHaveCaffeine keep drinking coffee]] (in essence, "You will ''never'' touch this unless you promise never to touch my joe").

* In ''Claiming the Highlander'' by Kinley [=MacGregor=] (Sherrilyn Kenyon) a major plot point is that Maggie has organised two whole towns of women to withhold sex until the men agree to stop their silly feud. Actually goes into detail as the women are shown to be struggling because they actually care about their husbands and are afraid they might be driving them away. Maggie gets annoyed at all the [[AllWomenAreLustful women who want to give in]].

* In ''Jessica'' (1962), the women of a Sicilian village decide to withhold sex from their men in response to the arrival of a new sexy midwife.

* A Lysistrata Gambit is prominently featured in the 1955 musical ''The Second Greatest Sex''. One of the songs is "Lysistrata". There is even a character named Liza, probably a reference to Aristophanes' play.

* In the 2011 French film ''The Source'', the women in a small village go on a sex strike because the men won't help them bring water from a distant well.

As it's a sex-related trope, '''Administrivia/NoRealLifeExamplesPlease'''

* Parodied in a ''ComicStrip/LifeInHell'' strip that said women have two choices: withhold all sex, and be rewarded with dog-like devotion, or screw his brains out, which will ''also'' be rewarded with dog-like devotion.

* In ''Claiming the Highlander'' by Kinley [=MacGregor=] (Sherrilyn Kenyon) a major plot point is that Maggie has organised two whole towns of women to withhold sex until the men agree to stop their silly feud. Actually goes into detail as the women are shown to be struggling because they actually care about their husbands and afraid they might be driving them away. Maggie gets annoyed at all the [[AllWomenAreLustful women who want to give in]].

* In the novel of ''Literature/TheGodfather'', Carlo doesn't dare to physically abuse Connie after he's beaten by Sonny, [[spoiler: at least not until the beating he uses to lure Sonny into Barzini's ambush]], so he uses one of these to abuse her emotionally instead. It's no sacrifice for him, since he's been cheating on her from day one, which he lets her discover as part of the abuse.

* Music/MelanieMartinez song "Cake" is about a sexual relationship without emotional meaning. The singer is tired of this, and offers this solution to earn some respect from her partner.

* GenderFlipped in [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Navajo_mythology#The_Separation_of_Men_and_Women a Navajo myth]]. After First Man was insulted by First Woman, the men collectively do this to the women to make them sorry[[note]]Depending on who tells the story, the insult may have been First Woman's insinuation that the men only ever did anything because of this trope[[/note]]. (They move away from the women and stop cooperating with them entirely, but lack of sex is explicitly an important part the punishment.) It works, but not before making ''both'' genders miserable[[note]] People become... uh, [[ExtremeOmnisexual lonely]], which resulted in the creation of the monsters that the hero twins [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Monster Slayer]] and [[SensitiveGuyAndManlyMan Born For Water]] then had to kill[[/note]]. It is interesting to note, perhaps, that while not strictly matriarchal, Navajo culture does put most of the political and financial power (usually associated with men) in the hands of the tribe's women.

* ''Theatre/{{Lysistrata}}'', the TropeNamer, is an UnbuiltTrope version, in that it applies equally to both genders. The title character tries to end [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Peloponnesian_War the Peloponnesian War]] by getting women from ''both'' sides (Athens and Sparta, in this case) to withhold sex until peace reigns again. (Well, they also seize control of the city treasuries, but who cares about ''that''?) This is laughed at by the men: AllWomenAreLustful, so Lysistrata's sex strike shouldn't last five minutes. But the women manage to [[ValuesDissonance transcend their own base natures]], bringing the men to heel (it helps that the whole reason the women are upset in the first place is because they want the men to be home having sex with ''them'', not going off to war). The result? Peace throughout Greece... Well, in RealLife the war went on for around eight more years, but it was a nice thought.\\\
This works of course because ALL the women agree to it. Sure enough peace happens, followed by an actual onstage orgy. At least that's how it was performed at the time. (The play was most often performed during the Dionysia, during which the entire city was always at least a little bit tipsy and people were encouraged to let their hair down). Notably, both men and women were ''immediately'' desperate for sex as soon as the strike started. Most of the play's humor (what didn't come from regional stereotypes, anyway), was based on the antics of people from either side trying to get laid.

* ''VideoGame/SummertimeSaga'': MC can pull one on Melonia Rump, the vapid TrophyWife of the town's mayor. If he gets her pregnant, the only way to convince her to keep it is by threatening to stop having sex with her. She immediately agrees, but ignores the child when it is born and hands it off to her RobotMaid.

[[folder:Book Comics]]

** The Chandler/Monica relationship kind of used it, with the DoubleStandard front-and-centre. When Monica forgets to make Chandler a valentines day present she says "I will make anything you want in there [pointing to the kitchen] and ''do'' anything you want in there [pointing to bedroom]." When it turns out Chandler's gift was actually one Janice had made for him, he makes the same offer and gets this response:
-->'''Monica:''' ''[pointing to kitchen]'' Yeah, you will and ''[pointing to bedroom]'' are you ''kidding'' me?

Subverted and played with in Series/{{Martin}}. Both Gina and Martin make a bet with Pam that they both can go without sex for a week to prove that their relationship is more than just physical. ''Both'' end up on edge as a result and ''both'' try to [[ShowSomeLeg sabotage the other]] into giving up.

As it's a Sex-related trope, '''Administrivia/NoRealLifeExamplesPlease'''

* Artist/{{Pink}} slips this gem into her song "My Signature Move":

* Artist/{{P!nk}} slips this gem into her song "My Signature Move":

!!Examples

[[folder:Anime and Manga]]

* One story in ''Manga/FrankenFran'' has the girls of a high school ask Fran for something that will make the boys less horny. Fran obliges, and soon there is no longer any sexual harassment at the school. However, this leads to the boyfriends becoming cold and distant, on the verge of breakup, so the girls ask Fran what she did in the first place: [[spoiler: create a mass of living flesh emitting human hormones that the boys see as a giant pile of naked, inviting women, which they have sex with.]] If there's AnAesop in there, besides the manga's overarching message of "[[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor Be careful what you wish for]], [[FantasticAesop especially if you use mad science to make it come true]]" it's [[BrokenAesop a really messed-up one]].

* ''ComicStrip/{{Doonesbury}}''. [[http://web.mac.com/arnold_zwicky/DoonesThreat.gif Attempted gender-flip]]: the other end of this trope is played perfectly straight when done by a man: "That's an offer, not a threat. Do you even know how blackmail works?"

-->'''Ethel''': Lips that touch onion will never touch mine!\\
'''Jughead''': Pop, make that ''extra'' onions.
* In ''Comicbook/{{Empowered}}'', Emp blows her stack over a one-night-stand her lover [=ThugBoy=] had with [[AlphaBitch Sistah Spooky]] a month before they met. Then he managed to tap further into her insecurities by [[ComplimentBackfire comparing her favorably]] in the skill department. He then spends several weeks on the couch in a "sexual Siberia", till there is no further doubt who is the alpha-wench in their relationship.
** Of course it is implied, and eventually outright stated, that Emp needs a good snuggling almost as much as her lover. In fact, in later volumes, it is shown that future attempts at this trope are made to even less success. She consistently cracks from the isolation ending the gambit prematurely (not that those days aren't hell on earth for Thugboy regardless).

* ''ComicStrip/FoxTrot'':
** Andy hinted once that she did not give birth to any of their kids in November as a direct result of withholding sex from Roger as punishment for his stupid Valentine's Day gifts. [[http://www.gocomics.com/foxtrotclassics/2007/02/14 The comment is prompted by receiving an exceptionally stupid gift in the form of a spatula.]]
** One arc has Roger trying to grow a beard. It looks awful, but Andy finally relents... and says that by the same token, these are her leg hairs.
---> '''Roger''': You ''wouldn't''...
* Parodied in a ''ComicStrip/LifeInHell'' strip that said women have two choices: withhold all sex, and be rewarded with dog-like devotion, or screw his brains out, which will ''also'' be rewarded with dog-like devotion.

* One story in Wally Wood's ''[[ComicStrip/SallyForthWood Sally Forth]]'' featured a group of [[RuleOfSexy naked]] [[UsefulNotes/{{Feminism}} Women's Lib]] protesters marching on the Pentagon, trying to force an end to the Vietnam War with this trope.
* ''ComicBook/{{Blacksad}}'': Jezebel Karup denies sex to her husband Hans because she privately despises him while playing the "good wife" in public. She also carries on an affair with his associate Huk just to humiliate him further. There's a salient reason for this: [[spoiler:she's actually his daughter.]]

* In a ''Manga/GunslingerGirl'' Biff & Little Britney fanfic, Triela tries this with her handler Hilshire, only to have an OhCrap moment when he calls her bluff. She quickly withdraws her threat and instead offers 'something special' that night in exchange for his cooperation.
* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10142032/5/An-Angel-and-a-Trickster An Angel and a Trickster]]'' Angel states that Loki talking about their sex life with Sirius merits a week of no sex per infraction.
* In ''[[http://jeconais.fanficauthors.net/This_Means_War/10c__Werewolves_Goblins_and_Dragons_Oh_My_Part_3_of_3/ This Means War]]'' Hermione denies Ron sex if he uses any swear word worse than "crikey" or "blimey."

* ''Fanfic/LovedAndLost'' features something of a G-rated example of this when Princess Cadance says that while she can forgive Shining Armor for his mistakes, he should [[MustMakeAmends reconcile with Twilight]] before they try to get married again. While Cadance doesn't mean this as an ultimatum, Shining interprets it as such. In his mind, it means that his relationship with the mare he loves now hinges on him reconciling with his sister.
* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3735195/1/Lesson-254 Lesson 254]]'' Harry threatens no sex for four months if Snape doesn't attend Harry's ballet class with him.

* A light-hearted version happens to the eponymous character in ''Film/GoodWillHunting''. The girl he has been seeing for the last few weeks is annoyed that he hasn't introduced her to his friends yet, and half-jokingly promises to withhold the sex until the situation changes. It's the middle of the night, but that doesn't stop him from making a call to one of them.
* In the spoof French spy movie ''Film/OSS117CairoNestOfSpies'', the title character OSS 117 does this to an Egyptian princess (who tried to kill him two minutes ago) in order to get information.

* In the 2011 French film ''The Source'', the women in a small village go on a sex strike because the men won't help them bring water from a distant well.
* A Lysistrata Gambit is prominently featured in the 1955 musical ''The Second Greatest Sex''. One of the songs is "Lysistrata". There is even a character named Liza, probably a reference to Aristophanes' play.
* In ''Jessica'' (1962), the women of a Sicilian village decide to withhold sex from their men in response to the arrival of a new sexy midwife.

-->'''Carmen''': You win one more game, you're gonna be humping your fist for a long time.

* The backstory to ''Film/SeparateTables'' reveals that back when Tom and Ann were married, she withheld sex from him just to mess with his head.

* In ''Abbott and Costello Meet Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde'', some suffragettes sing about withholding affection from men until women get the vote.

* Kitai does this in the sixth ''Literature/CodexAlera'' book, ''First Lord's Fury'', demanding that Tavi court her properly rather than the casual romance they've enjoyed thus far. Though part of the reason ends up being [[spoiler:Kitai hiding her pregnancy from him.]]
** Though she also threatens to strangle him in the same sentence.
%%* Gender-flipped with Edward and Bella in ''Literature/{{Twilight}}''.

* In ''Claiming the Highlander'' by Kinley [=MacGregor=] (Sherrilyn Kenyon) a major plot point is that Maggie has organised two whole towns of women to withhold sex until the men agree to stop their silly feud. Actually goes into detail as the women are shown to be struggling because they actually care about their husbands and afraid they might be driving them away. Maggie gets annoyed at all the [[AllWomenAreLustful women who want to give in]].
* Gender-flipped in ''Literature/ABrothersPrice''. [[PosthumousCharacter Kiefer]] threw violent tantrums and withheld sex from his wives in order to get what he wanted, and it largely worked. [[spoiler: He also cheated on them on those nights. With his [[BrotherSisterIncest sister]].]]
* According to Creator/DaveBarry, civilization got started when a smarter-than-average cavewoman convinced the others that they would "look at the men in a certain way" until the men started acting according to their wives' commands, including bringing an end to the surprise-mammoth-eyeball-in-the-mouth joke. Most of his work is based on the "A man is a BigFriendlyDog that can walk upright" dynamic.
* After catching her husband with Lady Lowborough in ''Literature/TheTenantOfWildfellHall'', Helen tells Arthur point-blank that "we are husband and wife only in name." It fails to get him to change anything, but at least she doesn't have to have sex with him anymore.
* In the ''Literature/{{GONE}}'' series, Lana threatens to never have sex with Sanjit again unless he returns her cigarettes.

* In ''Literature/TheNowhereGirls'', the protagonists declare a strike on all sexual activity, from intercourse to kissing, until the boys of Prescott High start behaving better. The strike is meant to get the attention not of the rapists, but of the other boys who allow the rapes to continue through their silence. Enough of the female students go along with the strike to make the popular boys want revenge.
* In the novel of ''Literature/TheGodfather'', Carlo doesn't dare to physically abuse Connie after he's beaten by Sonny, [[spoiler: at least not until the beating he uses to lure Sonny into Barzini's ambush]], so he uses one of these to abuse her emotionally instead. It's no sacrifice for him, since he's been cheating on her from day one, which he lets her discover as part of the abuse.

* ''Series/GameOfThrones'': A rather atypical example is provided by a same-sex couple. Feeling slighted by Brienne of Tarth's appointment to Renly Baratheon's Kingsguard, Ser Loras Tyrell not only withholds sex from his boyfriend, but he punishes his beloved even further by bringing Margaery (Loras' sister) to Renly's bed, knowing full well that Renly utterly dreads the prospect of having to consummate the marriage.
** Invoked during Tyrion's trial [[spoiler:for regicide. Shae gives false testimony that Sansa Stark had refused to sleep with him unless he murdered King Joffrey. Instead it was Tyrion who refused to sleep with Sansa because she was being forced to marry him and it was akin to rape in his eyes.]]
** Queen Margaery does a low-key version with King Tommen. She gives sex, just [[InsatiableNewlyweds not as much as he wants]], so he's always eager for her and thus more easy to manipulate.

* ''Series/{{Frasier}}'': Maris used sex on Niles to get what she wanted, and according to Niles, Maris had incredible willpower to withhold sex for months on end.
* ''Series/FamilyMatters'': Carl was getting rather high and mighty with regards to his being the breadwinner. Harriet decided, since he was so hung up on money, that she would start charging him -- for laundry, cooking, cleaning, and (yes) sex.

-->'''Zoe''': Remember that sex we were planning to have, ever again?

-->'''Vivian''': Oh, Philip, if Mr. Goodwrench wants to visit Mrs. Toolbox, he better get Mr. Water running.
* G-rated version on ''Series/DrakeAndJosh'': Mindy refuses to kiss Josh until he shaves off his mustache. The lip gloss scene on the couch, however, makes it pretty clear what it's supposed to parody.
* Male-to-female example: threatened by Michael to his boss/romantic partner Jan in the American version of ''Series/TheOfficeUS'', much to general astonishment. Also notable that what he's demanding is completely unethical, and a perfect illustration of why employer/employee relationships like theirs are [[StarCrossedLovers forbidden by the company]].
-->'''Michael''': We're gonna play it like this? You give me a good raise or no more sex. ''(turns to Toby)'' What are you writing, perv-ball?\\
'''[[TheChewToy Toby]]''': Just preparing for the deposition.
** Their relationship is a complete inversion of the traditional TV relationship. She outranks him (at first), she's in it for the sex, even though she knows he's a boorish idiot because she can't help herself and he's in it because he wants a wife and kids. Given that he gets that pay raise, it seems like it worked.
* On ''Series/SportsNight'', Natalie threatens Jeremy with this during a fight ("There will be no 'precious moments' tonight, if you know what I mean. No 'precious moments' of any kind.") When Dan suggests that Jeremy retaliate...
-->'''Dan''': You can't just forgive her right away. There needs to be punishment.\\
'''Jeremy''': What kind of punishment?\\
'''Dan''': I'd withhold sex.\\
'''Jeremy''': That sounds like it would be a lot worse for me than it would be for her.\\
'''Dan''': Education ain't easy.\\
'''Jeremy''': You don't know what the hell you're talking about, do you?\\
'''Dan''': On this? No.
* A legendary ''[[Series/SaturdayNightLive SNL]]'' Weekend Update sketch from 1978 involved Jane Curtin proposing that all women withhold oral sex from all men until the Equal Rights Amendment passed. She backed down when Bill Murray pointed out that "oral sex is a sword that cuts both ways".
* A season one episode of ''{{Series/MASH}}'' features all the females in the unit withholding intimacy of any sort from the men of the unit until one of the men agrees to be "close" with a clumsy virgin nurse due to be discharged in a few weeks. (It's never explicitly stated that Margaret was in on the plot, although Frank seems rather downcast and meets with the other men about the issue.)

* In an episode of ''Series/GilligansIsland'' when the women feel they're being unfairly treated, Mrs. Howell tells Ginger and Mary Anne about how Lysistrata "convinced all the women in her town ''to ignore the men completely'' until they got what they wanted," giving her husband a look to let everyone know exactly what the emphasis on "completely" means. What exactly that implies about the after-hours activities of the castaways is mind-blowing.
* On ''Series/TheBernieMacShow'', Bernie becomes very possessive once his nieces and nephew move in, only allowing them to drink the dregs of the household's orange juice, and so on. His wife Wanda gives him a stern talking-to and forbids him from having sex with her until he treats the children more hospitably.
* An episode of ''Series/That70sShow'' plays with this. Eric and Donna have an argument over something involving politics of the era, and both decide to withhold sex from the other until one of them conceded that he/she wanted it more, thereby losing their political debate. Near the end, they get really steamy but Donna backs out claiming that as a woman, she can get too really horny and then turn it off at will, causing Eric to admit defeat. Seconds later, she marches back into the room while really horny and says, "Oh thank God, I was bluffing."
** At one point Donna also asks her mother, [[TheDitz Midge]], if it's ethical to do this just to get them to do something. Midge is astonished that the option existed ("You can ''do'' that?") and offers no valuable advice at all. ("Who cares? I'm getting the bathroom repainted!")
* An ''Series/EverybodyLovesRaymond'' episode centered around Ray discovering the "power of no", i.e. that turning Debra down when she wants sex will make her act nicer and flirtier. Debra, who consequently began to worry about her age, was not amused when she found out. Ray and Debra then decided to have a bet over which of them could go without sex longer. After a month, Ray gave in and begged her for sex. After a beat, Debra responded, "Are we still doing that?" (She later admitted that she did remember that, however.)
* An episode of ''Series/TheSecretLifeOfTheAmericanTeenager'' had nearly all the girls in school agreeing to [[ADateWithRosiePalms take matters into their own hands]] and not sleep with the guys as an act of revenge against their philandering (or perceived to be cheating/thinking about cheating) boyfriends. It didn't last though.
* The ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'' episode "[[MusicalEpisode My Musical]]", after Carla and Turk's fight at hand gets derailed by his confusion of her ethnicity and the fight devolves into an increasingly antagonistic Tango. ([[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsorXfwfA9g Have At You]])
-->'''Turk''': Babe, you know I know the truth.\\
'''Carla''': Well I need a little proof... so list all you know about me or no sex again.
** At one point, Turk threatens to do the same to Carla. The simple response is something along the lines of "Like THAT'll work!".
** Thankfully she's the only one like that, and in a later episode, she is told by an elderly couple that things like that ruin marriages.
** Carla is so bad that ''Elliot'' has the power to withhold sex from Turk just by being friends with her.
** Twisted elsewhere in the series by Jordan and Dr. Cox. In order to get him to do what she wants, Jordan threatens to stop having sex with him and start "making love" to him.
** Elliot and Keith go through a big fight (instigated by a bored Jordan) and she goes so far as to email him a video of her ''pole dancing'' to show him what he's missing.
* This trope is invoked with alarming frequency in the later episodes of ''Series/MyWifeAndKids''.
** It should be noted that this was about the time DamonWayans [[CreatorBreakdown got divorced.]]
* Happens in an episode of ''Series/LittleMosqueOnThePrairie'' with specific reference to the Greek story, though Sarah finds the lack of sex at least as difficult as her husband does.
* In an episode of the show ''Series/{{Cybill}}'', Cybill's pregnant daughter wants her mother's advice since her husband hasn't shown any interest in sex since her pregnancy started showing. The advice?
-->'''Cybill''': Withhold sex.\\
'''Rachel''': What?\\
'''Cybill''': Withhold sex.\\
'''Rachel''': But Mom haven't you been listening? He doesn't ''want'' sex.\\
'''Cybill''': Well, he'll want it if he can't have it.

-->'''Susan''': It's all right, honey. Mummy's just been under a lot of stress... at work.\\
'''Michael''': Oh, I thought it was because [[DeadpanSnarker Mummy and Daddy weren't getting any]].
* The Chandler/Monica relationship on ''Series/{{Friends}}'' kind of used it, with the DoubleStandard front-and-centre. When Monica forgets to make Chandler a valentines day present she says "I will make anything you want in there [pointing to the kitchen] and ''do'' anything you want in there [pointing to bedroom]." When it turns out Chandler's gift was actually one Janice had made for him, he makes the same offer and gets this response:
-->'''Monica''': [pointing to kitchen] Yeah, you will and [pointing to bedroom] are you ''kidding'' me?
** (There's a possible double meaning here, either Monica was going to withhold sex or what she had already done for him in the bedroom was so extreme he couldn't possibly reciprocate.)
*** Perhaps she was also legitimately angry that he let her grovel to him and offer him sex as an apology for forgetting to make him a present when he knew full well that he'd done the ''exact same thing'''?
** There was also an episode where ''Chandler'' was withholding sex because ''Monica'' was mad at him (they were trying to have a baby, and her ovulation diary said they needed to have sex whether they wanted to or not). Monica pretended the fight was over until they'd done it, and then said it wasn't. Chandler was outraged by this until Joey asked him if he was really complaining that he had sex.
** And another episode where Monica and Chandler get into a fight, and Chandler is so annoyed he tells her that he's 'not putting out tonight' much to Monica's annoyance. So, as examples go, they're actually one of the least sexist examples.
* Inverted with ''Series/MarriedWithChildren''. On numerous occasions, Peggy uses ''having'' sex as a punishment when Al does something wrong.
** When Marcy was married to Steve, there was an episode where Steve came back from a camping trip and planned to keep his beard. Marcy absolutely hated it and pulled this gambit to make Steve shave the beard. As the episode goes on, both are showing signs of sexual frustration, but in the end, Steve shaves his beard (StatusQuoIsGod after all).
* ''Series/StepByStep'' used this trope a ''lot'', though often {{inverted}} in that Carol was far more fond of promising lots of sex if she got her way than she was of threatening to withhold it if she didn't.
* Done gender-flipped on ''Series/GossipGirl''. Chuck refuses to have sex with Blair until she can say those [[ArcWords three words, eight letters]].
* Subverted in the sitcom ''Series/TheWarAtHome'', in which Dave (the father of the household) and Vicky (his wife) are in the middle of an argument. Dave antagonistically assumes that she's going to withhold sex from him, but she instantly shoots the idea down, remarking that she wouldn't want to deny herself and claiming that she had something else in mind.
* Inverted as a joke in the ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' riffing of ''Film/MerlinsShopOfMysticalWonders'' wherein Mike asks if Merlin's wife just threatened him with sex if he didn't go out and look for a stolen item.

* On ''Series/AlienNation'', Tenctonese are implied to be [[PlanetOfHats culturally]] more rational about sex; it happens, it's enjoyable, it shouldn't be taken lightly (they find oversexualized things such as pornography silly), and it doesn't matter what gender ''both'' partners are. One of Susan's coworkers boasts about the effectiveness of this technique just as a rather complicated issue pops up; the "[[BizarreAlienSexes binnaum]]" who helped conceive her children wants her husband to sire a child on his wife - and must therefore forego sex with ''her'' for several weeks. Susan is curious, but by the end of the episode the woman is divorced: her husband just became sick and tired of being screwed with, to the point where he said "Take as much money as you want, just never come near me again!"
* ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'': Gender flipped in an episode where Marshall withholds sex from Lily until she starts treating Ted a little better. This is played as a ridiculous, futile gesture in the same way that most other stories do when a man tries to withhold. [[OutOfCharacterMoment Bizarrely]], elsewhere in the show's run Lily has been portrayed as every bit as sexual as Marshall (if not more so), to the extent that she developed the shakes upon going a few ''weeks'' without.
* Subverted on ''Series/TheBrittasEmpire''. Mr Brittas's wife Helen tries withholding sex as a sign of displeasure at a proposed move to Belgium. A few weeks later she admits to a friend "it's been Hell!" for ''her'' while ''he'' hasn't even noticed.
* In the ''Series/WantedDeadOrAlive'' episode "To The Victor," Josh Randall's problem is a town where the women (led by Liz, the daughter of Sheriff Strata - [[MeaningfulName get it?]]) withhold themselves from the men in a protest against guns. After an attack on the town which they can't protect themselves against, the women give in [[spoiler: unaware that Josh had arranged for the attack]].
* ''Series/TheBigBangTheory'': Penny notes that while this is usually the first trick in a girls bag, Amy cannot use it against Sheldon.
* In an episode of ''Series/TooCloseForComfort'', Murial threatens to stop cooking dinner for Henry "among other things." Subverted when Henry tells her he can go out to eat... "among other things."
* In ''Series/GreysAnatomy'', Christina does this to Owen for one episode but for a slightly different reason. Owen has been asked by the Chief to pick the next Chief Resident. Christina was upset because Owen would likely avoid picking her because of their marriage. So her goal in this case is to avoid letting sex cloud Owen's judgment (i.e. she wants for him to think of her as a doctor rather than his wife). He ends up picking someone else anyway. She's initially upset but cools down after he tells her that a Chief Resident is primarily a managerial position, and all Christina wants to do is be a great surgeon. Later on, both of them are shown to be extremely lustful, doing it at any time of day in almost any room in the hospital until ''Owen'' finally tells her they have to do stop doing that.
** Lexi also tells this to Alex at one point but only because he's been treating her like crap that episode. She even tells him that she wants sex but not at the expense of her self-esteem.
** Notably averted for most of the characters. AllWomenAreLustful is in play here.
* In ''Series/PrivatePractice'', Addison does this to [[spoiler:Sam]] after they disagree about a comatose patient whose husband has been having sex with her. Addison thinks it's a crime equivalent to rape, while [[spoiler:Sam]] is of a different opinion. When [[spoiler:Sam]] tries to point out that their personal and professional lives and relationships have to be separate, she disagrees and kicks him out. Several characters try to point out to Addison that [[spoiler:Sam]] has a right to his own ''medical'' opinion. Addison's usual answer is "I'm right, and he's wrong". In the end, they reconcile, but not because [[spoiler:Sam]] admits to being wrong. In fact, he thinks Addison is the wrong one and wants to yell at her for calling the cops of the husband... but he'll do that the next day at work to avoid being a hypocrite. Additionally, [[spoiler:Sam]] is more concerned with what Addison's behavior is doing to their relationship, although he still wants sex.
** Charlotte also occasionally does this to Cooper. It only works because Cooper is a sex addict, although Charlotte is also constantly horny.

* In the ''Series/HereComeTheBrides'' episode "The Stand Off," the women of Seattle are sick of seeing their men get beaten up by Stempel's goons, so they all agree to withhold all forms of affection, from sex to hand-holding, until the loggers can come to some kind of agreement with Stempel.

-->''"How can I enjoy the game if I go outside?\\

Or there'll be no action tonight"''
* A less obnoxious version comes from Music/JohannSebastianBach's "Coffee Cantata" (formally titled ''Schweigt stille, plaudert nicht''): the main character is a young woman who [[MustHaveCaffeine loves coffee so much]] that it worries her father, and he tries to bribe her into quitting by finding suitors for her. She then secretly tells each suitor that she will only marry him if he lets her [[MustHaveCaffeine keep drinking coffee]] (in essence, "You will ''never'' touch this unless you promise never to touch my joe").
* Music/MelanieMartinez song "Cake" is about a sexual relationship without emotional meaning. The singer is tired of this, and offers this solution to earn some respect from her partner.

* "No Sugar Tonight" by Music/TheGuessWho is an example of this, apparently inspired by an actual conversation between a would-be mugger and his partner when she caught him trying to mug a member of the band.

[[folder:Mythology]]
* GenderFlipped in [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Navajo_mythology#The_Separation_of_Men_and_Women a Navajo myth]]. After First Man was insulted by First Woman, the men collectively do this to the women to make them sorry[[note]]Depending on who tells the story, the insult may have been First Woman's insinuation that the men only ever did anything because of this trope[[/note]]. (They move away from the women and stop cooperating with them entirely, but lack of sex is explicitly an important part the punishment.) It works, but not before making ''both'' genders miserable[[note]] People become... uh, [[ExtremeOmnisexual lonely]], which resulted in the creation of the monsters that the hero twins [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Monster Slayer]] and [[SensitiveGuyAndManlyMan Born For Water]] then had to kill[[/note]].
** It is interesting to note, perhaps, that while not strictly matriarchal, Navajo culture does put most of the political and financial power (usually associated with men) in the hands of the tribe's women.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Religion]]

[[folder:Theater]]
* ''Theatre/{{Lysistrata}}'', the TropeNamer, is an UnbuiltTrope version, in that it applies equally to both genders. The title character tries to end [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Peloponnesian_War the Peloponnesian War]] by getting women from ''both'' sides (Athens and Sparta, in this case) to withhold sex until peace reigns again. (Well, they also seize control of the city treasuries, but who cares about ''that''?) This is laughed at by the men: AllWomenAreLustful, so Lysistrata's sex strike shouldn't last five minutes. But the women manage to [[ValuesDissonance transcend their own base natures]], bringing the men to heel (it helps that the whole reason the women are upset in the first place is because they want the men to be home having sex with ''them'', not going off to war). The result? Peace throughout Greece... Well, in RealLife the war went on for around eight more years, but it was a nice thought.
** This works of course because ALL the women agree to it. Sure enough peace happens, followed by an actual onstage orgy. At least that's how it was performed at the time. (The play was most often performed during the Dionysia, during which the entire city was always at least a little bit tipsy and people were encouraged to let their hair down).
** Notably, both men and women were ''immediately'' desperate for sex as soon as the strike started. Most of the play's humor (what didn't come from regional stereotypes, anyway), was based on the antics of people from either side trying to get laid.
* Blake Morrison's play, ''Lisa's Sex Strike'', is a version of ''Theatre/{{Lysistrata}}'' set in modern England.

* ''Lysistrata Jones'' is another Broadway Musical based on ''Theatre/{{Lysistrata}}'' (2011), based in a high school and featuring cheerleaders and a basketball team as the leads.
* Subverted in an AwfulWeddedLife comedy in which the wife threatens "no sex for a year". The husband snarks back, "I think I can afford to miss out on three screws."

-->'''Tycho''': I've been charging Brenna for sex.\\
'''Gabe''': No shit. How's that going?\\
'''Tycho''': I'm ''flat fucking broke''.
* In ''Webcomic/ClanOfTheCats'', Jubal threatens to withhold sex from a shape-shifted Chelsea in heat when she breaks off the amulet that helps control her shape-changing. It ends with him observing, "Never argue with a [=PMSing=] panther."

* [[http://xninjared.deviantart.com/art/Lysistrata-Gambit-152865735 This comic]] shows you why this trope is a bad idea.
* Aversion: Ben and Lily of ''Webcomic/GoblinHollow'' specifically agreed ''never'' to do this to each other, as they consider it immature and unlikely to earn sincere apologies. Besides, in Lily's words, when a friend asks her why she didn't withhold sex after Ben did something which upset her, "Hey, it ain't like ''I'' did anything wrong."
* ''Webcomic/KarinDou4koma'': When Aiina visits, she decides to withhold sex while walking around in a NakedApron and such until Elza properly answers Mifi's feelings. By the time Aiina departs, Elza is wandering around aimlessly with bloodshot eyes.

* Another G-Rated example on ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender'': Mai repeatedly refuses to let Zuko touch her while the two of them are having a fight in the BeachEpisode.

-->''"I'm your wife, listen to what I say\\
Get rid of that tub, or no boo-tay!"''

* ''Theatre/{{Lysistrata}}'', the TropeNamer, is an UnbuiltTrope version, in that it applies equally to both genders. The title character tries to end [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Peloponnesian_War the Peloponnesian War]] by getting women from ''both'' sides (Athens and Sparta, in this case) to withhold sex until peace reigns again. (Well, they also seize control of the city treasuries, but who cares about ''that''?) This is laughed at by the men: AllWomenAreLustful, so Lysistrata's sex strike shouldn't last five minutes. But the women manage to [[ValuesDissonance transcend their own base natures]], bringing the men to heel. The result? Peace throughout Greece... Well, in RealLife the war went on for around eight more years, but it was a nice thought.

* Gender-flipped with Edward and Bella in ''Literature/{{Twilight}}''.

* A light-hearted version happens to the eponymous character in ''Film/GoodWillHunting'' .The girl he has been seeing for the last few weeks is annoyed that he hasn't introduced her to his friends yet, and half-jokingly promises to withhold the sex until the situation changes. It's the middle of the night, but that doesn't stop him from making a call to one of them.

->''"Hm, sex works even better than chocolate for manipulating behavior. Wonder if anyone's ever stumbled onto that before…"''
-->— '''[[{{Asexual}} Sheldon Cooper]]''', ''Series/TheBigBangTheory''

* ''Series/TheBigBangTheory'': Penny notes that while this is usually the first trick in a girls bag, Amy cannot use it against [[{{Asexuality}} Sheldon]]

* A less obnoxious version comes from Music/JohannSebastianBach's "Coffee Cantata" (formally titled ''Schweigt stille, plaudert nicht''): the main character is a young woman who [[MustHaveCaffeine loves coffee so much]] that it worries her father, and he tries to bribe her into quitting by finding suitors for her. She then secretly tells each suitor that she will only marry him if he lets her keep drinking coffee (in essence, "You will ''never'' touch this unless you promise never to touch my joe").

* Lieschen in ''Music/SchweigtStillePlaudertNicht'' employs a pre-marital variation, secretly telling the potential suitors her father finds that she will only marry them if they allow her to [[MustHaveCaffeine drink coffee]], in order to get around her promise to him to give it up in exchange for her father finding her one.

[[WMG:[[center:[[AC:This page is [[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=13350380440A15238800&page=406#comment-10136 under discussion]] in Real Life Section Maintenance.]]]]]]

[[folder:Real Life]]
* The entire point of Erotic Sexual Denial.
* Wiki/{{Wikipedia}} has a compilation of some influential ones [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_strike listed under "Sex Strike"]].
* As noted above, [[DontTryThisAtHome trying this trope in real life has some problems.]] Psychologists say that using sex as a bargaining chip tends to be destructive in marriages and relationships, as it's a slippery slope from turning an ostensibly loving relationship into a zero-sum game of brinksmanship.
** Especially when it backfires. Because, when there's no food at home people eat out.
* [[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7806367.stm This 2008 Naples sex strike over illegal fireworks.]]
* [[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/29/kenyan-women-tired-of-fig_n_192909.html A 2009 sex strike by Kenyan women.]] ThePlan was to withhold sex for one week in protest of the fighting and political squabbling. A correspondent didn't think the men would last two days. Unable to find nookie with either wives or prostitutes (because their wives were paying the prostitutes not to), the men folded and a peace deal was worked out within a month.
* [[http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/nation/regions/09/15/11/womens-sex-strike-ends-fighting-mindanao-villages-unchr This 2011 one actually ended armed conflict between two villages in the Philippines.]]
* Despite their reputation, the [[http://pewforum.org/news/display.php?NewsID=1769 Puritans in America]] viewed sex as a normal, important, and expected part of marital relationships. There are records of a James Matlock being excommunicated from church fellowship for, among other things, withholding sex from his wife for two years.
* Rock the Vote [[http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/12/21/rock-vote-asks-supporters-withhold-sex-pass-health-care-reform/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%253A+foxnews%252Fpolitics+%2528FOXNews.com+-+Politics%2529 advises this tactic against opponents of the health care reform bill]].
* During UsefulNotes/TheVietnamWar: "Girls say yes to boys who say no" (to entering the draft).
* Japanese women [[http://elitedaily.com/news/politics/women-in-japan-are-refusing-to-have-sex-with-anyone-who-votes-for-tokyo-governor-candidate/ campaigning against a candidate for governor]].
* Creator/BillEngvall brought this up in one of his routines. He says that "women are like camels" and while they don't ''like'' going without sex for long periods of time, they're still capable of it. As opposed to men, who ... aren't.
* After their football team got off to an 0–4 start in 2010, New Mexico State University started distributing propaganda urging the female students to refrain from having sex with members of the football team until they earned their first win. They won the very next game.
* Something similar happened in relation to the 2010 UK general election. Namely, ''[[UsefulNotes/BritishNewspapers The Sun]]'', famous for its [[PageThreeStunna pictures of topless women on Page 3]], threatened to stop putting them in if the Conservative Party lost. Whether or not this had an effect on the results we shall never know.
** They also pulled this in 1992, using an uglier picture with the caption "THIS IS WHAT PAGE 3 WILL LOOK LIKE IF KINNOCK WINS". Neil Kinnock and the Labour Party lost, but despite ''The Sun''[='=]s bragging it's hard to tell whether they or any one or more specific anti-Labour stories they ran really were "wot won it".
* An inconclusive election in June 2010 and deep divisions over regional and linguistic matters led to UsefulNotes/{{Belgium}} taking ''540 days'' to form a government, finally obtaining one in December 2011. During the endless negotiations, one group encouraged [=MPs=]' wives to use this tactic to break the deadlock after Belgium surpassed Iraq's then-record of 249 days without a government.
* This was a factor in UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush's decision to quit alcohol. It tends not to get mentioned much, partly because his status as a born-again Christian is the ostensible reason for quitting his alcoholism.
* This was used to try and help get prohibition off the ground. The Women's Temperance Movement was a big lobbyist on the issue, and the phrase "Lips that touch liquor will never touch ours" is still remembered today.
* According to some versions of her story, a young Ukrainian woman named [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roxelana Roxelana]] allegedly became sole legitimate wife of an Ottoman sultan that way. As his favorite harem girl, she managed to cajole him into making her a free woman again; however, according to Ottoman law, a man couldn't sleep with a free woman who wasn't his wife, so she refused him until he agreed to her terms. The name of the sultan? '''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suleiman_the_Magnificent Suleiman I]] TheMagnificent.'''
* In the middle of a highly charged debate about abortions and mandatory ultrasounds, Virginia Rep. David Alpo jokingly [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRyRSlammXI&feature=player_embedded complained that his wife wouldn't have sex with him.]]
* In Togo in August 2012, civil rights leader Isabelle Ameganvi has called for a sex strike in order to demand the resignation of President Faure Gnassingbe.
* Jello Biafra from the Music/DeadKennedys uses this trope as an explanation as to how a group of U.S. politician's wives, with no power of their own whatsoever, managed to found the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parents_Music_Resource_Center P.M.R.C.,]] an official U.S. committee whose purpose was to prevent the [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotForKids sale of harmful music to minors.]]
** On the other hand, Dee Snider of Music/TwistedSister said the opposite, that the only way that Tipper Gore and company were able to get as far as they did was because, while they were whispering in their ears, their hands were elsewhere.
* [[http://grist.org/list/colombian-women-successfully-withheld-sex-to-get-their-road-fixed/ Some women in Colombia]] refused to have sex until a badly kept road was repaired.
* Creator/JohnWaters advises this tactic to promote reading:
-->"We need to make books cool again. If you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't fuck them. Don't let them explore you until they've explored the secret universes of books. Don't let them connect with you until they've walked between the lines on the pages. Books are cool, if you have to withhold yourself from someone for a bit in order for them to realize this then do so."
* A popular feminist button reads "Just say no to sex with pro-lifers."
* GenderInverted in an article called [[https://www.liveabout.com/is-your-passive-aggressive-husband-withholding-sex-1102411 Is Your Passive Aggressive Husband Withholding Sex?]]
* Inverted and deconstructed in [[http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/husband-sued-by-wife-for-lack-of-sex-20110905-1juqw.html this]] story about a woman who sued her husband for not having ''enough'' sex with her.
[[/folder]]