History Main / IDontWantToRuinOurFriendship

** They have a similar exchange even ''earlier'' in the series. The phrase isn't stated outright but clearly implied. Chandler asks why Monica won't date him and she says she loves him but [[ItMakesSenseInContext he would always be the guy who peed on her]]. In other words, their friendship is too close to gamble with, dating would make it weird. They end up HappilyMarried. Yeah...

** Used by Phoebe when Monica, falsely, tells her Joey has feelings for her, after considering the possibility for a moment.

* In the ''WesternAnimation/LegendOfKorra'' fanfic ''Fanfic/BookFiveLegends'', this is the main reason for Asami not wanting to confess her feelings to Korra, despite already guessing that Korra does return said feelings. She values their friendship greatly and doesn't want to risk it. Korra reassures her that their friendship will not end even if their romance doesn't work out.

--> '''María:'' I just don't wanna lose you.

* The ultimate resolution in ''LightNovel/{{Haganai}}'', as Kodaka realizes that dating any of the girls will mean sacrificing his friendship with the rest.

** Possibly one of the reasons why [[spoiler:Ron and Hermione]] don't get together [[spoiler:before the end of the final book]], though it's never explicitly stated. [[spoiler:Harry certainly worries how a break-up between Ron and Hermione would affect their group dynamics]].

Note that in the first variant the friendship is usually already ruined -- or at least radically altered -- just by bringing this up. A LoveConfession is SeriousBusiness, and sometimes there's no way to turn one down without hurting their feelings and making things awkward for a while; this is why the trope exists in the first place. On the other hand, some guys (especially the [[EntitledToHaveYou so-called]] [[DoggedNiceGuy "Nice Guys"]]) tend to misinterpret this as AllGirlsWantBadBoys and start either distancing themselves from their LoveInterest or pushing the issue, [[TookALevelInJerkass being jerks about whichever they choose]], making the ruined friendship a SelfFulfillingProphecy.

* ''Series/TheDevilJudge'': Soo-hyun grumbles that she's asked Ga-on out five times since kindergarten and he's rejected her every time. Ga-on replies that she's his best friend and he doesn't want to lose her.

* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Daria}}'', Daria says this at one point... as part of a [[ZanyScheme complicated revenge plot]].

* Comes up indirectly in ''Anime/TheGirlWhoLeaptThroughTime'' when [[spoiler:Chiaki]] suddenly asks Makoto out on a date. Just wanting things to be the way they were before, she responds by using TimeTravel to go back to the moment he told her he liked her so she can keep it from happening. Since she knows how he feels, though, the friendship's still effectively ruined (only now [[spoiler:Chiaki doesn't even know why]]).
%%* Part of the {{Gayngst}} in ''Manga/GirlFriends''.

** This ends up being a major plot point regarding [[spoiler:Kaguya and Shirogane's BattleOfWits]], although with a slight twist. [[spoiler:The main reason why Kaguya tries to get Shirogane to confess to her rather than simply confess herself even after she admits to herself that she likes him is because she's afraid that all the signs that he likes her are just her misinterpreting his natural NiceGuy personality.]]

* ''Manga/WeWereThere'': This is basically [[spoiler: Takeuchi's]] response to [[spoiler: his best friend Yano]] when asked if the former planned to pursue the latter's [[spoiler: on-again-off-again girlfriend, Nanami Takahashi.]] Unfortunately, [[spoiler: things get [[HilarityEnsues much]] [[RuleOfDrama more complicated]] after their conversation since Takeuchi decides to ignore the risks and go after his best friend's sort-of-ex anyway, ''fully aware'' that he could end up losing his best friend in the process, since Takeuchi believes "he can make her happier." Thankfully, the boys' friendship stays intact by the end of it all.]]
* In ''Manga/WhisperedWords'', this is Sumika's attitude to her relationship with Ushio for a loooong time. And later [[spoiler:vice versa.]]

* ''Manga/RentAGirlfriend'': Kazuya couldn't confess to Chizuru for fear she will be gross out and pushes him away despite realizing that she has done a lot more than a rental girlfriend is expected and possibly breaking the agency's rules for his sake.

* Used in ''ComicBook/AmericanBornChinese'': Melanie tells Danny that she doesn't want to ruin their friendship after he asks her out to the movies. (Though he initially thinks she's rejecting him due to thinking he'll be similar to his [[EthnicScrappy annoying cousin Chin-Kee.]])

* In the ''WesternAnimation/LegendOfKorra'' fanfic ''Fanfic/BookFiveLegends'', this is the main reason for Asami not wanting to confess her feelings to Korra, despite already guessing that Korra does return said feelings. She values their friendship greatly and doesn't want to risk it. Korra reassures her that their friendship will not end even if their romance doesn't work out.
* This is part of what makes Lydia hesitate about moving forward with what otherwise seems like a very logical RelationshipUpgrade in ''Fanfic/{{Cinderjuice}}''. She doesn't discuss it with anyone, but she's very introspective and gives it a great deal of thought, noting that the relationship is "sacred ground" and she's very uncertain that changing the status quo is wise. [[spoiler:It ultimately turns out to be very wise, as the sequels eventually reveal.]]
* In ''Fanfic/XMenTheEarlyYears'', ComicBook/{{Cyclops}} spent years keeping quiet about his feelings for ComicBook/JeanGrey because he was convinced she didn't love him back and he'd ruin their friendship.
-->'''Scott:''' Jean and I are just friends.\\
'''Hank:''' There's nothing wrong with wanting to be more.\\
'''Scott:''' (glaring) There is if I screw it up and it blows this team apart. There's a lot more to consider than how I feel. Besides, Jean has stated over and over again she's not interested in a serious relationship. So it's better for us to stay friends.

* In the ''Fanfic/ChildOfTheStorm'' universe, this is why Harry and Carol insist on staying JustFriends despite their intense amounts of {{UST}}. They are best friends, and both are aware that neither is psychologically in a good place for a RelationshipUpgrade (especially given Carol's trust issues, and Harry's emotional trauma - which risks turning any relationship into a codependent mess). Therefore, they decide to stay where they are in their relationship, the intensity of their feelings be damned. Later, after one SleepCute too many in the sequel, and Harry quoting a certain line from ''Film/ThePrincessBride,'' this morphs slowly into agreeing that they probably will date, but they're still in no hurry. [[spoiler: In chapter 46 of the sequel, they finally firmly ruin it with a kiss.]]

* ''Fanfic/GuardiansWizardsAndKungFuFighters'': In Chapter 30, [[WesternAnimation/JackieChanAdventures Jade]] and [[WesternAnimation/{{WITCH}} Irma]] finally address their mutual attraction. They both admit to having feelings for each other, but acknowledge the possibility that a relationship might not work out, which could negatively impact their friendship and the overall team -- which would be especially bad at this particular point, as they're preparing for the FinalBattle with Phobos. So, they decide to wait until after the war is finished to give a RelationshipUpgrade a try.
* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13189446/1/ More than Meets the Eye]]'', this is part of the reason why Ash rejected Misty's LoveConfession, despite returning her feelings. The other part was him being an InsecureLoveInterest and feeling that he wasn't good enough to make her happy, even though she said otherwise.
* In ''[[https://ficbook.net/readfic/9259687 Field Practice]]'', there is a variation with "I Don't Want to Ruin Our Frenmity". The man figures that he has had several lovers but only has one FriendlyEnemy, so while he sees the latter is [[SheIsAllGrownUp all grown up]] and they feel a mutual attraction, he tells her they shouldn't rush into things. She agrees, feeling she isn't ready for a DatingCatwoman relationship.

* In ''Film/PlanB'', Pablo is reluctant to do a PracticeKiss with Bruno because he fears he'll lose Bruno as a friend if their kiss ends up feeling too romantic. Bruno reassures him that nothing will change between them, but their friendship still ends up being ruined soon after that for different reasons. [[spoiler:Fortunately, they're able to mend and [[RelationshipUpgrade upgrade]] their friendship after they finally come to terms with their feelings for each other.]]

** Harry doesn't tell [[spoiler:Ginny]] of his feelings for her in ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheHalfBloodPrince'' because [[spoiler:he doesn't want to risk his friendship with Ron.]] Probably justified, since [[spoiler:Ron is shown to be incredibly protective of her and going as far as accusing her of [[ReallyGetsAround getting around]]]], though in the end, Ron just shrugs and seems fairly all right with, or at least resigned to, it.
** Possibly one of the reasons why [[spoiler:Ron and Hermione]] don't get together [[spoiler:before the end of the final book]], though it's never explicitly stated. [[spoiler:Harry certainly worries how a break-up between Ron and Hermione would affect their group dynamics.]]

* In first three books of ''Literature/DoraWilkSeries'', Dora gives it as an explanation as to why she's not with Miron. The ride's bumpy, but in the end, they do manage to pull off RelationshipUpgrade.
* In the novel ''Literature/{{Doctors}}'', Barney and Laura have ''never'' had this discussion, despite a 30-something year friendship that began when they were in kindergarten. When they finally do realize and admit that they love each other, the narration sums it up:
--> And that night ended their friendship.
* In the sequels to ''Literature/AnneOfGreenGables'', Anne is in denial of her romantic feelings for Gilbert in ''Anne of Avonlea'' and most of ''Anne of the Island'', so she tries to prevent him from confessing his love, afraid to ruin their friendship.

** [[Recap/DoctorWhoS32E8LetsKillHitler "Let's Kill Hitler"]]: In a flashback, we see that Rory didn't act on his feelings for Amy because of this. He thought it was a mutual decision. [[MistakenForGay She thought he was gay.]]

** They have a similar exchange even ''earlier'' in the series. The phrase isn't stated outright but clearly implied. Chandler asks why Monica won't date him and she says she loves him but [[ItMakesSenseInContext he would always be the guy who peed on her.]] In other words, their friendship is too close to gamble with, dating would make it weird. They end up HappilyMarried. Yeah...

* In the ''Series/{{Fringe}}'' episode "White Tulip", [[spoiler: Peter has this conversation with Olivia when addressing their near-kiss. While a slight variation, he claims that he doesn't want to do anything to jeopardize their family dynamic.]]

* Played with in typical ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' fashion. Elaine reveals to Jerry that she faked all her orgasms with him when they dated. Jerry is bothered by this and asks Elaine for one more bout of sex, but since they've already established they're BetterAsFriends, Elaine turns him down, name-dropping the trope. Jerry thinks she's just lording her non-orgasms over him and this makes them irritable to each other until they realize they have to subvert the trope to get past it and agree to one last non-romantic tryst. [[spoiler: [[TheLoinsSleepTonight However, Jerry inexplicably can't get it up.]]]]

* Hayate says this to Hitomi in ''VideoGame/DeadOrAlive5''.

* Henrietta Irving gives this as a reason as to why she hasn't confessed her love to Bram Stoker in ''VisualNovel/ShikkokuNoSharnoth''. It's subverted soon after [[spoiler:but doesn't end well.]]
* In one scene in ''VisualNovel/LittleBusters'', Riki admits that he does actually have kind of a crush on [[IfItsYouItsOkay Kyousuke]], but doesn't want to tell anyone because he's sure their friendship would break down if he knew.

* ''VisualNovel/MinotaurHotel'': [[spoiler:If Pedro and Oscar grow their bonds strong enough, then they'll have a scene where Oscar indirectly asks Pedro if he wants to be in a relationship. Pedro rejects, stating that even though he likes him, and is attracted to him, he can't in good faith start one with Oscar since there's such a big experience gap. He then tells him that he will reconsider it when Oscar's more mature enough to live on his own.]]

* In ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive'', both [[http://www.egscomics.com/index.php?id=1784 Elliot]] and [[http://www.egscomics.com/index.php?id=1588 Susan]] have listed this among the reasons that they aren't likely to become a couple any time soon. Beyond worrying about their own friendship though, they are also worried about the general dynamics of their social group, particularly concerning Sarah, who is both Elliot's ex and Susan's best friend.

* Deconstructed and played for tragedy in the ''{{Franchise/Hatchetfield}}'' saga, specifically in the "Time Bastard" episode of ''WebVideo/NightmareTime'', where we learn creepy, misogynistic CasanovaWannabe Ted was once [[UsedToBeASweetKid a sweet, nerdy college student]] who was deeply in love with his BFF Jenny. He never said anything to her because he wasn't sure she felt the same, and he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable or obligated to date him if she didn't. By the time he ''finally'' worked up the nerve to tell her, she'd left town to be with another man... leaving him a DearJohnLetter admitting that she's always loved him, but it's simply too painful for her to keep in contact with him, [[DramaticIrony knowing her love is unrequited]]. [[PoorCommunicationKills The lack of proper communication]] on both ends, plus a healthy dose of LoveHurts, caused Ted to [[DramaticallyMissingThePoint learn all the wrong lessons]] and turn himself into a "pushy asshole" that women apparently like. [[spoiler:Oh, and because this is Hatchetfield, this also sets off a series of DisasterDominoes that ends with Jenny dead, Ted TrappedInThePast before being given a FateWorseThanDeath, and his romantic rival becoming an evil cyborg. [[ItMakesSenseInContext Yeah]].]]

* ''WesternAnimation/HarleyQuinn2019'': Harley is Poison Ivy's best friend and the most important person in her life, but unlike with Kite Man, Ivy can't trust Harley won't do something that could break her heart or ruin their relationship. After Harley went back to the Joker and let Ivy down so many times, Ivy can barely allow herself to keep Harley as a friend, so becoming lovers with her is too much of a risk for Ivy to take with all the emotional baggage she already has. [[spoiler:After Kite Man spells it out for Ivy that her heart really belongs to Harley in "The Runaway Bridesmaid" and breaks off their engagement, she allows herself to reciprocate Harley's feelings.]]

* In ''WesternAnimation/CloneHigh'', Joan of Arc asks Mr. Butlertron for advice on Abe, who [[ObliviousToLove doesn't view her as a romantic possibility]]. Mr. B tells her that "maybe [Abe] just thinks you [[DoubleNegative don't think he doesn't want to not ruin the friendship]]." When parsed: "maybe [Abe] thinks you think he doesn't want to ruin the friendship," which doesn't seem quite apropos either.
* ''WesternAnimation/StarVsTheForcesOfEvil'': Star is worried about losing her friendship with Marco after her crush was publicly revealed and they agree to pretend that her Song Day never happened, with Star telling him that the person who revealed her crush was mistaken. Star decides to have a fun summer with him and not act on her crush, especially since Marco is already dating someone else. [[spoiler:Once she finds she's leaving with the possibility of never coming back, she decides to tell him how she feels anyways. Later, in the next season of the show, Star has seemingly moved on and is dating someone else, [[UnrequitedLoveSwitcheroo and Marco realizes he's in love with her]]... and keeps silent about it for the same reason until he's tricked into doing so by a third party.]]

* In Music/{{Sugarland}}'s "Want To," this is implied to be one of the reasons why the singer and her friend are still teetering on the edge of WillTheyOrWontThey. The singer assures him nothing has to change if he doesn't want it to, and that she only wants it to change if he does (before admitting at the end she's actually hoping it will).
-->''Whole world could change in a minute\\
Just one kiss could stop it spinning\\
We could think it through\\
But I don't want to, if you don't want to\\
We could keep things just the same\\
Leave here the way we came\\
With nothing to lose\\
But I don't want to, if you don't want to''

* Used in ''ComicBook/AmericanBornChinese''; Melanie tells Danny that she doesn't want to ruin their friendship after he asks her out to the movies. (Though he initially thinks she's rejecting him due to thinking he'll be similar to his [[EthnicScrappy annoying cousin Chin-Kee.]])
* ''[[ComicBook/RobinSeries Robin]]'': While Callie Evans and Sebastian Ives go on a number of dates in their freshman year of high school by the time he decides to ask her to be in a more serious relationship she's decided she doesn't want to endanger their existing friendship for what would undoubtedly be a temporary high school relationship.

* ''Series/Community'': This trope is the reason Annie was hesitant to say something to Troy during the first half of Season One.

* ''WesternAnimation/StarVsTheForcesOfEvil'': Star is worried about losing her friendship with Marco after her crush was publicly revealed and they agree to pretend that her Song Day never happened, with Star telling him that the person who revealed her crush was mistaken. Star decides to have a fun summer with him and not act on her crush, especially since Marco is already dating someone else. [[spoiler:Once she finds she's leaving with the possibility of never coming back, she decides to tell him how she feels anyways. Later, in the next season of the show, Star has seemingly moved on and is dating someone else, [[UnrequitedLoveSwitcharoo and Marco realizes he's in love with her]]... and keeps silent about it for the same reason until he's tricked into doing so by a third party.]]

* ''Manga/RentAGirlfriend'': Kazuya couldn't confess to Chizuru for fear she will be gross out and pushes him away despite realizing that she has done a lot more than a rental girlfriend is expected and possibly breaking the agency's rules for his sake.

* In ''Manga/SasamekiKoto'', this is Sumika's attitude to her relationship with Ushio for a loooong time. And later [[spoiler:vice versa.]]

* The ultimate resolution in ''LightNovel/BokuWaTomodachiGaSukunai'', as Kodaka realizes that dating any of the girls will mean sacrificing his friendship with the rest.

* ''FanFic/ToHellAndBackArrowverse'':

* Played with in typical ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' fashion. Elaine reveals to Jerry that she faked all her orgasms with him when they dated. Jerry is bothered by this and asks Elaine for one more bout of sex, but since they've already established they're BetterAsFriends, Elaine turns him down, name-dropping the trope. Jerry thinks she's just lording her non-orgasms over him and this makes them irritable to each other until they realize they have to subvert the trope to get past it and agree to one last non-romantic tryst. [[spoiler: However, Jerry still can't satisfy her in the end.]]

* On Series/{{Baywatch}}, as Matt and Summer discuss the burgeoning relationship between her mother and their boss. She prattles on about how friends shouldn't date, as it "complicates things". Matt gazes at her the whole time she's talking, slowly realizing his growing feelings for her. When he leans in to kiss her and she asks what he's doing, he declares, "I'm complicating things".

* It's [[PlayingWithATrope played with]] on ''WesternAnimation/TheLegendOfKorra'' between the titular character and Mako. Mako is already in a relationship with Asami, but he and Korra develop mutual feelings for each other. Mako and Korra sort of try to do this trope, but it turns into a LoveTriangle that they don't have time to properly deal with (what with Equalists and all). [[spoiler:It ends with a sort of unspoken-but-mutually-agreed-upon breakup between him and Asami, after which Makorra becomes the OfficialCouple]].

* ''WesternAnimation/StarVsTheForcesOfEvil'': Star is worried about losing her friendship with Marco after her crush was publicly revealed and they agree to pretend that her Song Day never happened, with Star telling him that the person who revealed her crush was mistaken. Star decides to have a fun summer with him and not act on her crush. [[spoiler: Once she finds she's leaving with the possibility of never coming back, she decides she might as well tell him how she feels anyways. Later, in the next season of the show, Star has seemingly moved on and is dating someone else and Marco realizes he's in love with her...and keeps silent about it for the same reason until he's tricked into doing so by a third party.]]