Discussion Main / IDontWantToRuinOurFriendship

Yep, I find myself in this situation with an awesome female friend of mine because of my damn GAD

This troper finds herself perpetually locked in this trope... She is not atracted to others due to thier appearance, but by their personality, and thus by the time she develops a sexual attraction towards another she finds herself in a friendship she is unwilling to ruin.

This is happening to me right now. I'd ask my guy friend out, but, well {{I Don't Want to Ruin Our Friendship}} if we break up or he doesn't feel the same way!

Why is this considered a nicer way of saying "I'm not actually in love with you"!? "I don't want to ruin our friendship" sounds like a cheap cop-out to me.

• This troper, after having spent his life actively avoiding situations where he could be subjected to this trope, would like to submit that this trope is complete bullshit and a cancer on modern culture. Reasoning as follows:

  • A friendship that can't survive a bit of hardship and/or conflict isn't much of a friendship in the first place. Said hardship/conflict doesn't get special consideration just because it's the result of sexual activity. If it destroys a friendship, there wasn't really anything precious there to begin with. Thus, when used honestly, the excuse is bullshit.
  • In a friendship in which there is a completely one-sided sexual attraction, either the attracted person exhibits their attraction or they do not, and if the latter, the target of that attraction is either comfortable with it or is not. The implications of the latter scenario are mutually exclusive with the genuine trust-bond of friendship. If a dishonest deflection is warranted and potentially effective, the friendship is either already ruined, or never truly existed. Thus, when used dishonestly, the excuse is bullshit.
  • The very concept that romantic love is something separate from friendship, in the first place, is an insidious unnatural outgrowth of association between the archaic custom of marriage and commercial markets that rely on blatant sexism. When lust and strong friendship coincide, the combination does not create some new, nebulous phenomenon, no matter how intense its components. The conception of romantic love as a phenomenon separate from friendship is a cultural disease that has caused vast and needless suffering across our modern world. Thus, the very premise of the excuse is bass ackwards and complete bullshit.

YKTTW link.