History Main / CableSatelliteMudslinging

* Creator/SkyOne LOVED to point out in promos for their series that they would show up years before coming to terrestrial, most notably in one for ''Series/LawAndOrder'' which specifically mentioned the series' FTA home Creator/ChannelFive; this one was narrated by Steven Zirnkilton... who, for those who don't know, is the fellow who provides the opening voiceover for all the ''L&O'' shows.

* [=LivingTV=] was a bit more subtle in some of the promos for ''Series/{{Charmed|1998}}'' that aired while the series was running on Creator/ChannelFive - "Hi, I'm Creator/RoseMcGowan and you are watching [=LivingTV=], the ''real'' home of ''Charmed''." (Justified in this case as Living has shown the entire run [[AdoredByTheNetwork numerous times]], whereas Five [[ChannelHop let the final season go]] to Creator/Channel4.)

* Cox Communications (cable/phone/internet) runs continuous replays of a local news program on one of their channels. This channel is also overloaded with ads for Cox Communications, badmouthing rivals Qwest Communications and [=DirecTV=]. If the only way see this channel is to have Cox service already, what's the point of this ad?

* [=DirecTV=] is running a series of SlipperySlopeFallacy commercials in which, because you have cable, one bad thing after another triggers a cascade failure of ridiculous proportions. Like how your cable goes out, so you start watching the neighborhood, you see a crime take place, you have to run and hide your identity, and fake your own death to keep the mafia from finding you. "So don't do that, switch to [=DirecTV=]." Another ad has a woman who is upset about her shows not being able to record on cable because they're conflicting with her boyfriend or husband's shows and says that it feels like the cable is seeing her naked. The commercial urges viewers to ditch "cable's conflict box" and switch to [=DirecTV=], which lets you record up to five shows at once.

* News 12 Long Island, an all-news channel in New York on Cablevision channel 12, uses the phrase "Never on [=FiOS=], Never on Satellite" after every traffic and weather report and has commercials where people arrive late for work or get caught in the rain because they couldn't watch News 12. The other News 12 Networks - everywhere else in the Tri-State Area, except New York City - do a similar thing, and so does NY1 on Spectrum channel 1.

* Comcast runs a series of ads in which DSL customers (who happen to be turtles, named [[MeaningfulName the Slowskies]]) constantly talk about how great their slow speeds are, since it gives them time to relax and unwind. A later commercial shows one of the turtles having a "nightmare" in which a hot blond cable executive got him to switch to cable.
** More painful are the ''badly'' done "intervention" ads. If only all real-life intervention meetings were that boring.
** The family who switched from satellite TV to Comcast because 1) movies [[LoadsAndLoadsOfLoading took too long to load]] and 2) there was nothing on satellite to watch so they went to bed early every night. For 1), you could just, you know, '''do something else''' while the movie is loading. For 2), if your only nighttime options are television or bed, you're too far gone to be saved. It doesn't help just how '''bad''' the acting is; in one of the ads, the mother pronounces the word "meatball" in the single most unnatural way ever ("let's have a Meet-Bahhl").

* Cox Communications (cable/phone/internet) runs continuous replays of a local news program on one of their channels. This channel is also overloaded with ads for Cox Communications, badmouthing rivals Qwest Communications and [=DirecTV=]. Excuse me, but the only way to ''see this channel'' is to have Cox service already, so what's the point?

* The satellite wars have intensified, with [=DirecTV=] running ads attacking cable and Dish Network ''at the same time'', using the format of ''Series/ToTellTheTruth''. Dish Network has apparently responded with ads claiming that they have more HD channels, which only works if On Demand feeds of single movies count as "channels". [=DirecTV=] responded by noting that these aren't really "channels" and that many of Dish Network's other HD channels are only HD part of the time. They are also airing ads noting that they have exclusive commercial-free broadcasts of programs such as ''Series/FridayNightLights'' and ''Series/{{Damages}}'' that Dish Network does not.

* News 12 Long Island, an all-news channel in New York on Cablevision channel 12, uses the phrase "Never on [=FiOS=], Never on Satellite" after every traffic and weather report and has commercials where people arrive late for work or get caught in the rain because they couldn't watch News 12.
** The other News 12 Networks - everywhere else in the NYC/Tri-State Area, except Manhattan, as Time Warner (and soon Charter) operates there - do a similar thing.

* A September 2017 ad by [=DirectTV=] (yep, them again) re-assured viewers that there were still people who enjoyed cable, just like how there are people that enjoy unpleasant things like banging their heads into a low ceiling, drinking sour milk, or getting a paper cut. [[NightmareFuel With appropriately horrifying imagery.]] And now they're showing cable users enjoying other unpleasant things like wet shopping bags and bad haircuts.

Cable companies air commercials about how satellite dishes lose their signal when it rains. Satellite companies air commercials about how cable has limited availability, costs too much, and locks you into unreasonable contracts. And phone companies, which stream TV networks over a DSL internet connection [[note]]Through IPTV (Internet Protocol Television)[[/note]], show commercials about [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs both]].

* [[https://youtu.be/QIgZHZpiq1U A '70s percursor to those cable/satelite ads]]: "pay TV"[[note]]what cable was then called, plus satellite (the scrambled ones) channels, for the most part, and those over-the-airwave pay channels such as e.g. [[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wometco_Home_Theater Wometco Home Theater]][[/note]] vs "free TV"[[note]]i.e., those channels over the airwaves, which were originally, then mostly, free, and some by satellite (unscrambled), as well as "community antenna television" which was a big communal antenna to which [=TVs=] were connected to get better reception, in areas where it was poor like mountains and the countryside, the underlying technology later being repurposed for modern cable TV[[/note]]. It was a ScareCampaign which urged people to sign a petition to ban "pay TV", as people shouldn't pay for what they already had for free and [[ScareEmStraight it would be another place where monsters appeared]]. With shades of NewMediaAreEvil, as well as the added bonus the ad was run in movie theaters.[[note]]At the time, theaters got all the recently-released movies, while "free TV", which broadcast all TV movies, had to wait a couple of years before broadcasting them. "Pay TV" (supposedly) undercut the theaters because movie channels such as Creator/{{HBO}}, Creator/{{Showtime}} and others, which were the mainstays which lured costumers in the early years, shortened the period between their premiere and their first broadcast - which could become ''zero''![[/note]] According to some commentaries, this bilge was successful in some communities up until the day [[MoneyDearBoy local governments discovered "pay TV" could be taxed]].
* In the early 2000s, Dish Network [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRRmQE3kBRE ran ads]] showing a CGI "cable [[SnakesAreSinister snake]]" that would give you low quality TV signals and steal your money.
* Around October 2011, Buckeye Cable of northwest Ohio ([[AndZoidberg and parts of southern Michigan]]) was running two different commercial campaigns. The first one involved a pair of Dish Network salesmen trying and failing to sell existing Buckeye customers satellite TV. The second one involved talking computers that are so happy with Buckeye's internet speed because of how quickly they can load up games or hit shopping websites (the latter includes a trio of computers that all sound like [[SassyBlackWoman Sassy Black Women]]). A couple other campaigns were less subtle about decrying the problems of satellite TV and included such things as a list of dish complaints set to "March of the Toreadors" and [[MundaneMadeAwesome a man's plight with rain and his dish]] set to OminousLatinChanting.

** The latest Xfinity ad featuring the Slowskies has Mr. and Mrs. Slowsky receiving an invitation to a Y2K party via [[{{SnailMail}} the postal service]]...in 2019. The mail man in question is [[{{VisualPun}} an actual snail]], naturally enough. Their son ''is'' an Xfinity customer and immediately {{lampshades}} the ridiculousness of the situation.

** Some guy put up a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2z3pqFDzIA&feature=related "completely awesome version"]] on Website/YouTube where the awesome Verizon installer guy [[YourHeadAsplode blows up.]]

* This was averted in the UK, at least for a time. Cable was slow to spread in the country, not getting big until the 90s. When Creator/{{Sky}} debuted its' Astra-based service in February 1989, they found themselves in a war with the government-backed satellite company BSB. However, due to equipment problems and other issues, BSB's start was delayed until March of 1990. They found themselves in a war of words (both sides constantly flinging insults at each other in marketing and the press), and a war of attrition, as both Sky and BSB lost money by the truckload (thanks to getting into bidding wars regarding rights to movies and sports, as well as people waiting to see which side won out). Ultimately, both companies merged into one British Sky Broadcasting to save themselves, thus leaving Sky unopposed in the satellite realm until the emergence of Freesat in the late 2000s (though strictly-speaking Astra was an open platform, with Sky scrambling channels intended for only UK viewers to see). However, when digital terrestrial came along later in the decade, Sky (after being kicked out of the original group for competition reasons) pretty much did everything they could to sabotage [=OnDigital=] (later renamed Creator/{{ITV}} Digital), including hiring hackers to crack the DTT encryption system (despite [[DickDastardlyStopsToCheat having many technical and programming advantages over On/ITV Digital]]). Sky won that duel when ITV Digital went bust, with Freeview coming along shortly afterwards (subscription DTT services were attempted afterwards, but largely failed).

* Since Australian pay TV is practically just Foxtel, the mudslinging is between them and broadcast networks. Fox Sports' [[UsefulNotes/AustralianRulesFootball AFL]] channel is advertised as being completely "ad-break free siren to siren", and even the [[CommercialPopUp bug in the corner]] constantly brags about it. Meanwhile, almost ''all'' OTA sports broadcasts contain logos next to their bugs similarly bragging that it's "live and free".

* In 2018, after Comcast unexpectedly dropped Big Ten Network outside of Big Ten conference markets, Dish Network began to counter with a commercial showing a frustrated college football fan unable to watch his game (clearly not prominent enough to be on a major channel), promoting that Dish carried "every" Division I football game.

* At one point in TheNineties, a local UK branch of Comcast basically had a slot in their channel line-up reserved for the then emerging Creator/{{Sky}} 2 channel, but all you got was a message saying that they couldn't show it because they couldn't shell out for the high fees Sky required to show it on their service. This somewhat foreshadowed the Sky vs. Virgin Media spat described below, though Sky 2 had long since ceased to exist by the time of the Virgin dispute.

** Ironically, not only was the banner at on the top AND bottom of this page for Bell's service, but it was part of their "couch" campaign. Rogers and Bell have been using identical attack ads showing a couch with company-related colour coding split down the middle in an empty room and showing various permutations of the couch to symbolically represent the contrast in service.

* A new series of ads in 2021 for AT&T Fiber Internet point out that if you can't get something done because you have cable internet, then you're not a bad person and you just have bad Internet such as AT&T Fiber. [[note]] In the same example as the Cable/DSL example above the only people still using cable-based Internet as of 2021 either don't have the option for fiber, can't afford it, or are older individuals who don't need fast Internet.[[/note]]

* Time Warner Cable (now owned by Charter under the new Spectrum branding) has a series of ads where the clean-cut, good looking cable guy happens to run into the satellite guy, whose service just got cancelled. The customer occasionally stands between the two and compares their services. They eventually upgraded to the satellite guy ''stalking'' the TWC guy.

* [=DirecTV=] has a series of ads with celebs describing amazing sports moments, just to have the screen black out - "you missed it, because you have cable". This despite the fact that that people could catch them over and over in a less time-consuming distillation on ESPN's ''Series/SportsCenter''... at 9pm, 10pm, 11pm, 12am, 1am, 2am... \\
In the great [=DirecTV=] vs Viacom dispute of Summer 2012, several different channels that were dropped temporarily on [=DirecTV=] (all 26 were run by Viacom) took to air waves and internet space to warn the viewers on other broadcasters that [=DirecTV=] was taking their channels away. When the block did go into effect, several advised switching at the end of these advertisements. All of these commercials were made by Viacom and pinned the blame for the drop directly on [=DirecTV=].\\
The satellite wars have intensified, with [=DirecTV=] running ads attacking cable and Dish Network ''at the same time'', using the format of ''Series/ToTellTheTruth''. Dish Network has apparently responded with ads claiming that they have more HD channels, which only works if On Demand feeds of single movies count as "channels". [=DirecTV=] responded by noting that these aren't really "channels" and that many of Dish Network's other HD channels are only HD part of the time. They are also airing ads noting that they have exclusive commercial-free broadcasts of programs such as ''Series/FridayNightLights'' and ''Series/{{Damages}}'' that Dish Network does not.\\
[=DirecTV=] is running a series of SlipperySlopeFallacy commercials in which, because you have cable, one bad thing after another triggers a cascade failure of ridiculous proportions. Like how your cable goes out, so you start watching the neighborhood, you see a crime take place, you have to run and hide your identity, and fake your own death to keep the mafia from finding you. "So don't do that, switch to [=DirecTV=]." Another ad has a woman who is upset about her shows not being able to record on cable because they're conflicting with her boyfriend or husband's shows and says that it feels like the cable is seeing her naked. The commercial urges viewers to ditch "cable's conflict box" and switch to [=DirecTV=], which lets you record up to five shows at once.

* As of October 2011, Buckeye Cable of northwest Ohio ([[AndZoidberg and parts of southern Michigan]]) is running two different commercial campaigns. The first one involves a pair of Dish Network salesmen trying and failing to sell existing Buckeye customers satellite TV. The second one involves talking computers that are so happy with Buckeye's internet speed because of how quickly they can load up games or hit shopping websites (the latter includes a trio of computers that all sound like [[SassyBlackWoman Sassy Black Women]]). A couple other campaigns were less subtle about decrying the problems of satellite TV and included such things as a list of dish complaints set to "March of the Toreadors" and [[MundaneMadeAwesome a man's plight with rain and his dish]] set to OminousLatinChanting.

* [[https://youtu.be/QIgZHZpiq1U A '70s percursor to those cable/satelite ads]]: "pay TV"[[note]]what cable was then called, plus satellite (the scrambled ones) channels, for the most part, and those over-the-airwave pay channels such as e.g. [[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wometco_Home_Theater Wometco Home Theater]][[/note]] vs "free TV"[[note]]i.e., those channels over the airwaves, which were originally, then mostly, free, and some by satellite (unscrambled), as well as "community antena television" which was a big communal antena to which [=TVs=] were connected to get better reception, in areas where it was poor like mountains and the countryside, the underlying technology later being repurposed for modern cable TV[[/note]]. It was a ScareCampaign which urged people to sign a petition to ban "pay TV", as people shouldn't pay for what they already had for free and [[ScareEmStraight it would be another place where monsters appeared]]. With shades of NewMediaAreEvil, as well as the added bonus the ad was run in movie theaters.[[note]]At the time, theaters got all the recently-released movies, while "free TV", which broadcast all TV movies, had to wait a couple of years before broadcasting them. "Pay TV" (supposedly) undercut the theaters because movie channels such as Creator/{{HBO}}, Creator/{{Showtime}} and others, which were the mainstays which lured costumers in the early years, shortened the period between their premiere and their first broadcast - which could become ''zero''![[/note]] According to some commentaries, this bilge was successful in some communities up until the day [[MoneyDearBoy local governments discovered "pay TV" could be taxed]].

* In the early 2000s, Dish Network ran ads showing a CGI "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRRmQE3kBRE cable snake]]" that would give you low quality TV signals and steal your money.

* In the early 2000s, Dish Network ran ads showing a CGI "cable snake" that would give you low quality TV signals and steal your money.

--> "[[InsaneTrollLogic Don't attend your funeral]] [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext as a guy named Phil Shiffley.]] Call 1-800 [=DirecTV=].

No matter the company that provides your television service, at some point they will run commercials advertising themselves. The problem is, a fair majority of these commercials are aimed at discrediting the other format.

Cable companies air commercials about how satellite dishes lose their signal when it rains. Satellite companies air commercials about how cable has limited availability, costs too much, and gives you strange contracts. And phone companies, which began providing TV service thanks to the spread of IPTV (Internet Protocol Television) in TheNewTens, show commercials about [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs both]].

One of the things Americans don't notice, of course, is that cable companies don't go after each other. That's because cable companies will not wire an area if there's an existing cable operator, almost like a [[TheMafia mob]] staying out of another's territory.[[note]]This is a result of the Telecommunications Act of 1996, specifically the Cable Act.[[/note]] This is why the City of Los Angeles has 11 companies licensed to provide service anywhere in the city, but ''none of them'' operates in any area where there already is a cable company operating. So why step on the toes of someone who isn't actually a competitor? (The bigger cities have some competition, but the "overbuilders" are much smaller companies.)

** The latest Xfinity ad featuring the Slowskies has Mr. and Mrs. Slowsky receiving an invitation to a Y2K party via the postal service...in 2019. The mail man in question is [[{{VisualPun}} an actual snail]], naturally enough. Their son ''is'' an Xfinity customer and immediately {{lampshades}} the ridiculousness of the situation.

Previously, the two major American satellite companies, [=DirecTV=] and Dish Network, tended not to target each other. Perhaps they figured that as long as there are people who still have cable, those are the ones that they should pursue. The two companies have considered merging at least twice, but both times plans have fallen through. In 2010, Dish declared open season on [=DirecTV=], proclaiming that Dish is the cheaper satellite company. [=DirecTV=] responded with ads claiming better channels in their basic package and more HD programming.

The development of "triple-play" -- phone, TV and data in a cable connection -- might turn the tables on this practice sooner or later. Satellite has historically been far more expensive and less efficient for data and phone than wired services, at least in urban areas. Something else that has also begun to change the playing field is (usually cheaper and more convenient) online viewing through services such as Hulu, Amazon Instant Video / Prime, and Netflix, leading many to [[TakeAThirdOption ditch either cable or satellite entirely]]. Of course, this may just mean that the cable / satellite providers pursue the remaining market all the more aggressively. (For example, partnering with cable and satellite TV ''networks'' to provide apps for phones and devices like the Roku that require logging in via the cable or satellite provider (and therefore a subscription to the cable or satellite provider. Or encouraging them to add on services like Internet and phone, or DVR service, which also usually comes with an additional fee.)

* Sling TV, a service that provides around 20 popular cable channels (including holy grail Creator/{{ESPN}}) for Internet streaming, has gotten into the game with commercials that portray thinly-veiled Comcast employees as bullying schoolchildren, forcing you to give them your lunch money -- that is, pay for 400 cable channels you don't want -- and making fun of you to their friends when you try to call customer support.

* Comcast runs a series of ads in which DSL customers (who happen to be turtles, named [[MeaningfulName the Slowskys]]) constantly talk about how great their slow speeds are, since it gives them time to relax and unwind. A later commercial shows one of the turtles having a "nightmare" in which a hot blond cable executive got him to switch to cable.

* Since Australian pay TV is practically just Foxtel, the mudslinging is between them and broadcast networks. Fox Sports' [[UsefulNotes/AustralianRulesFootball AFL]] channel is advertised as being completely "ad-break free siren to siren", and even the [[CommercialPopUp bug in the corner]] constantly brags about it. Meanwhile, almost all OTA networks broadcast sporting events with an on-screen graphic announcing that it's "live and free".

* [=LivingTV=] was a bit more subtle in some of the promos for ''Series/{{Charmed}}'' that aired while the series was running on Creator/ChannelFive - "Hi, I'm Creator/RoseMcGowan and you are watching [=LivingTV=], the ''real'' home of ''Charmed''." (Justified in this case as Living has shown the entire run [[AdoredByTheNetwork numerous times]], whereas Five [[ChannelHop let the final season go]] to Creator/Channel4.)