History Main / ADoormatToHisMen

* ''Anime/MobileSuitGundam'': Part of the reason Bright Noa was such a hardass was because he feared being seen as one of these. He didn't have much choice: following the events at Side 7 he was the highest ranking able-bodied soldier left on the White Base (being an officer cadet) and so '''had''' to take command despite only being a few years older than the rest of the RagtagBandOfMisfits that made up the crew [[note]]The attack at Side 7 also resulted in the deaths of most of the crew, and civilians from Side 7 were pressed into service in a bid to survive[[/note]]. On several occasions, other characters like Mirai or Ryu have to take him aside and suggest that it's possible to be AFatherToHisMen without being a pushover. By the time of ''Anime/MobileSuitZetaGundam'', he's taken that advice to heart and knows when to instill discipline and when to not be so strict.

->'''Captain Aubrey:''' A man pushed past you without making his obedience, yet you said nothing. Why?
->'''Midshipman Hollom:''' I intended to, sir, but... the right words just didn't--
->'''Captain Aubrey:''' The right words?! He was deliberately insubordinate.
->'''Midshipman Hollom:''' I've tried to get to know the men, sir, and be friendly, but... they've taken a set against me, always whispering when I go past and giving me looks. I'll set that right, sir. I'll be much tougher on them from now on.
->'''Captain Aubrey:''' You don't make friends with the foremast jacks, lad. They'll despise you in the end. Think you weak.

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--> '''Voice-Over:''' Democracy and humanitarianism have always been trademarks of the British Army.
--> '''Sergeant Major:''' Rubbish!

-->'''Reed:''' Frankly, sir, from my point of view that kind of socializing has no place on a starship.
-->'''Archer:''' I had a C.O. once who felt the same way. "They're your crew, not your friends." I thought about that a lot when I took this command, but then I realized [[BoldExplorer this]] is not a typical mission. We could be out here for years. [[TrueCompanions All we have to depend on is each other]].

--> '''Officer:''' Sergeant Levi. You'll have to drill them louder. Absolutely no one can hear you. You'll have to shout! Can't you shout? I took you for such an intelligent person!

-->'''Hartsock:''' ''"Maybe if you were in control of your men, instead of trying to be their best friend...[[PunctuatedForEmphasis They. Wouldn't. Need. Finding!]]"''

-->'''Tagon:''' I was in an infantry unit once, when deployments left us with one company of soldiers to about five companies' worth of empty barracks.
-->'''Tagon:''' The major was green brass. He let us spread out a bit, and neglected to secure the unused buildings.
-->'''Tagon:''' Within two weeks, we had four stills, two smack labs, an onsite escort service, a two-star casino, and a greenhouse full of hyperjuana.
-->'''Kevyn:''' So...you want me to assign standard-sized barracks, and then lock down the extra space?
-->'''Tagon:''' When they tried to pull us back in, some of the men lodged their protests with rocket launchers.

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** Likewise, a dictator who spends more state assets on public welfare than on buying off his cronies runs the risk of [[BastardUnderstudy being toppled and replaced by someone]] who ''doesn't''.

** Tao Qian is portrayed as one of these, being a genial and trusting old man who even accepted former bandits into his ranks. However, he's such a nice old fellow that these bandits don't actually feel afraid of him, and so when a former high minister of the Han Empire is travelling through Tao's territory they ambush and murder him and his entire entourage. Unhappily for all involved, said former minister was the father of [[TheDreaded Cao Cao]], who proceeded to launch a genocidal attack on the territory out of a desire for vengeance. [[note]] The historical Tao Qian was far less nice, and essentially permitted bandits to run roughshod over his territory so long as he got a cut.[[/note]]

* ''Series/TheLordOfTheRingsTheRingsOfPower'': Queen Miriel zig-zags this. She has real political power over her people, but her subjects are very divided by her decisions and show clear signs that they are ready to turn on her immediately, a situation Ar-Pharazon is taking advantage of behind Miriel. In several key scenes he is shown having more control over the people than Miriel. He secretly pays {{Agent Provocateur}}s to start a mutiny against Miriel to give him a change to talk of patriotism to the people and calms down the spirits, and in another scene, while talking to his son in a plaza, is enough for him to just make a nod without saying a word for the people around them to understand they need to leave the place.

* ''Series/TheLordOfTheRingsTheRingsOfPower'': Queen Miriel zig-zags this. She has real political power over her people, but her subjects are very divided by her decisions and show clear signs they are ready to turn on her immediately, a situation Ar-Pharazon is taking advantage of behind Miriel. In several key scenes is shown he has more control over the people than Miriel, he secretly pays {{Agent Provocateur}}s to start a mutiny against Miriel to give him a change to talk of patriotism to the people and calms down the spirits, and in another scene, while talking to his son in a plaza, is enough for him to just make a nod without saying a word for the people around them to understand they need to leave the place.

** {{Subverted}} with mild-mannered, empathetic King Vyseris I Targaryen, whose reign consists mainly of his own family repeatedly going behind his back to start wars and undermine his rule, only for him to forgive their transgressions and invite them back to court time and time again. While this sounds like a recipe for disaster ([[spoiler:and indeed, the conflicts kindled in this period would ultimately end up plunging the realm into a bloody civil war]]), it actually ''does'' work out for him in his lifetime. When he dies of natural causes, [[TooGoodForThisSinfulEarth he bears the epithet "the Peaceful" and is remembered fondly by most of his dysfunctional family]].

* ''UsefulNotes/ThreeKingdomsShuWeiWu'':
** As mentioned under Literature, Liu Yu was a genuinely good man who was TooGoodForThisSinfulEarth. Commentators, even in his era, noted that he'd have been better off living 10 years earlier (when the Han Empire was strong enough to keep ambitious subordinates like Gongsun Zan in line) or 10 years later (when Cao Cao had reestablished most of the former empire and happily welcomed cultured men like Liu into his forces).
** Kong Rong was an intellectual and descendant of Kongzhi (i.e. Creator/{{Confucius}}). When he was in charge of a territory, his response to an uptick in bandit activity was to build schools, feeling that by introducing education the bandits could find honest work and so stop banditry. This didn't work, and even his subordinates began bribing the bandits to leave them alone, which [[FromBadToWorse just emboldened the bandits even more]]. Worse, Kong opted not to punish these subordinates, [[ReasonableAuthorityFigure correctly feeling they only did so to preserve their lives and so weren't to blame]]. This of course led to some subordinates even ''joining'' the bandits, and eventually the bandits became so powerful Kong himself had to abandon his city and family to flee to safety. While he eventually found refuge with the warlord Cao Cao, he managed to get on Cao's bad side and was eventually executed. [[note]]Kong had begun making speeches that Cao ought to resign as Chancellor, but as Kong was a noted scholar and descendent of Confucius Cao restrained himself and simply exiled him for a time. When Kong was allowed to return, he went right back to decrying Cao, and finally made the fatal mistake of misrepresenting a quote to bolster his point. [[SeriousBusiness Offended that Kong had resorted to twisting scholarly works]], Cao (a serious scholar himself) lost patience and had him executed. [[/note]]
** Sun Quan, first emperor of Wu, had a bad habit of turning a blind eye to the crimes of favoured servants like Pan Zhang (who would recruit rich men into his army, find an excuse to execute them, and then seize their property) or Gan Ning (who was an unashamed pirate even after becoming a general). In later life, people began taking advantage of this, such as his personal secretary who began having people he disliked executed among other crimes, while Sun refused to hear out any accusations even from his old friends. When Sun finally took the time to investigate, he had the offender executed and attempted to apologise, but [[BreakingTheFellowship his old friends and comrades declined to help him]]. [[note]]This willingness to turn a blind eye was directly linked to how much Sun trusted and valued someone, as when Gan Ning's son and successor tried to act like Gan himself (i.e. raiding Sun's own people for his own amusement), he was quickly executed.[[/note]]

* The [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mutiny_on_the_Bounty mutiny aboard the HMS Bounty]] is often partially blamed on this trope as, while Lt. Bligh was arguably dictatorial and overbearing in some regards, he also often failed to maintain the degree of discipline that Royal Navy sailors would have otherwise been used to -- namely by granting them a fairly relaxed five-month layover on Tahiti, which the men spent gorging on the local foods and getting intimate with the locals. This led to a lot to resentment amongst the crew when they were forced back aboard for the return trip, and Bligh's continued lack of oversight allowed many of the men to act on their discontent in a more coordinated and unrestricted fashion that could otherwise have been the case.

* This has also been cited as a contributing factor to the defeat of the Republican Army in the UsefulNotes/SpanishCivilWar. Since the army was made up primarily of volunteers and militiamen, and many fighting formations had furthermore subscribed to libertarian-socialist and anarchist ideals that rejected strict military hierarchies, many fighters ended up simply deserting or refusing to fight because unit commanders couldn't exert the discipline and cohesion necessary to keep them in the battle against their will. This even happened amongst volunteers of the Nationalist side, proving it to be not just a fluke.

* UsefulNotes/TheAmericanCivilWar: In their memoirs, generals on both sides pointed to this being an issue, especially early in the war. The reason for this was because many units were raised in particular towns, and elected their officers from among their ranks. This led to many of these officers either being unwilling or unable to enforce discipline amongst their troops, due to them often being their friends, neighbours or family members.
** General William Tecumseh Sherman by the end of the war was known by his soldiers as "Uncle Billy". However, it was understood that while Sherman was not willing to throw the lives of his men away, he was '''not''' "soft". In his memoirs, he makes note of an occasion shortly after the Union defeat at the first Battle of Bull Run when a soldier whose enlistment was about to expire [[note]]The Union government initially called for volunteers to enlist for a few months, expecting the war to be over quickly. [[/note]] asked permission to leave. Sherman denied him permission, as the government had just extended the enlistment length. Not long after, he saw the man again about to leave, and called out to him. Sherman mentions that he noticed everyone around watching, and quickly realised that if he allowed the man to leave, many others would follow. Realising this could quickly lead to the disintegration of the army, he made a big show of ordering the soldier back to his unit and threatened to have him shot for desertion. The soldier looked as though he was going to argue, but begrudgingly stood down. Reflecting on the affair, Sherman in his memoirs notes that he ''could'' have tried to appeal to the man's better nature, but he realised that the volunteers had to learn that discipline was necessary in the army, no matter how unpleasant.

* Commented on in ''Film/TheLifeAndDeathOfColonelBlimp'', where Major General Wynne-Candy's [[HonourBeforeReason enduring obsession with honour and fair-play]] only serves to hinder his allies' war efforts and encourages German brutality in the knowledge that the Brits would be unwilling to punch back. Candy's UsefulNotes/WW1 subordinate [[AmoralAfrikaner van Zijl]] goes behind his back to torture German prisoners of war for information. A young lieutenant [[PublicBathhouseScene publicly humiliates Candy by "arresting" him inside his club's bathhouse ahead of a war exercise]]. [[ShutUpKirk Even Candy's German friend Theo (formerly a German officer and [=POW=] in Britain) ultimately calls Candy out on his dangerous naivety]] in the early years of UsefulNotes/WW2.

* Commented on in ''Film/TheLifeAndDeathOfColonelBlimp'', where Major General Wynne-Candy's [[HonourBeforeReason enduring obsession with honour and fair-play]] only serves to hinder his allies' war efforts and encourages German brutality in the knowledge that the Brits would be unwilling to punch back. Candy's UsefulNotes/WW1 subordinate [[AmoralAfrikaner van Zijl]] goes behind his back to torture German prisoners of war for information. A young lieutenant [[PublicBathhouseScene publicly humiliates him by "arresting" him inside a bathhouse ahead of a war exercise]]. [[ShutUpKirk Even Candy's German friend Theo (formerly a German officer and [=POW=] in Britain) calls Candy out on his dangerous naivety]] in the early years of UsefulNotes/WW2.

* Commented on in ''Film/TheLifeAndDeathOfColonelBlimp'', where Major General Wynne-Candy's [[HonourBeforeReason enduring obsession with honour and fair-play]] only serves to hinder his allies' war efforts and encourages German brutality in the knowledge that the Brits would be unwilling to punch back. Candy's UsefulNotes/WW1 subordinate [[AmoralAfrikaner van Zijl]] actually goes behind his back to torture German prisoners of war for information. A young lieutenant [[PublicBathhouseScene publicly humiliates him by "arresting" him inside a bathhouse ahead of a war exercise]]. [[ShutUpKirk Even Candy's German friend Theo (formerly a German officer and [=POW=] in Britain) calls Candy out on his dangerous naivety]] in the early years of UsefulNotes/WW2.

* Commented on in ''Film/TheLifeAndDeathOfColonelBlimp'', where Major General Wynne-Candy's [[HonourBeforeReason enduring obsession with honour and fair-play]] only serves to hinder his allies' war efforts and encourages German brutality in the knowledge that the Brits would be unwilling to punch back. Candy's UsefulNotes/WW1 subordinate [[AmoralAfrikaner van Zijl]] actually goes behind his back to torture German prisoners of war for information. A young lieutenant publicly humiliates him by catching him with his trousers down and "arresting" him inside a bathhouse ahead of a war exercise. [[ShutUpKirk Even Candy's German friend Theo (formerly a German officer and [=POW=] in Britain) calls Candy out on his dangerous naivety]] in the early years of UsefulNotes/WW2.

* Commented on in ''Film/TheLifeAndDeathOfColonelBlimp'', where Major General Wynne-Candy's [[HonourBeforeReason enduring obsession with honour and fair-play]] only serves to hinder his allies' war efforts and encourages German brutality in the knowledge that the Brits would be unwilling to punch back. Candy's UsefulNotes/WW1 subordinate [[AmoralAfrikaner van Zijl]] actually goes behind his back to torture German prisoners of war for information, and [[ShutUpKirk even his German friend Theo (formerly a German officer and [=POW=] in Britain) calls Candy out on his dangerous naivety]] in the early years of UsefulNotes/WW2.

* Commented on in ''Film/TheLifeAndDeathOfColonelBlimp'', where Major General Wynne-Candy's enduring obsession with fair-play only serves to hinder his allies' war efforts and encourages German brutality in the knowledge that the Brits would be unwilling to punch back. Candy's UsefulNotes/WW1 subordinate Van Zijl actually goes behind his back to torture German prisoners of war for information, and [[ShutUpKirk even his German friend Theo (formerly a German officer and [=POW=]) calls Candy out on his dangerous naivety]].

* ''Series/HogansHeroes'': Col. Klink and Sgt. Schultz are the hapless authority figures of Stallag 13. Though technically members of the Nazis regime, both have expressed disdain for the Nazi party, and lack the signature trademark cruelty of the Nazis and the SS. Klink thinks he's AFatherToHisMen, but that's because Hogan has him snowballed. Schultz, meanwhile, was a merry toymaker who got drafted, and largely turns a blind eye to Hogan's activities, unless doing so could get him shot. There's a reason his catchphrase is [[IllPretendIDidntHearThat "I see NUSSINK! NUSSINK!"]]

* In ''Film/MasterAndCommander'', Midshipman Hollom suffers excessively from this, as his attempts to be friendly with the common sailors aboard the ''HMS Surprise'' does little but invite suspicion and ridicule. At one point, he is shoved aside by a drunken sailor, causing that sailor to be flogged (at the behest of ''Captain Aubrey'') to salvage the situation. The air eventually becomes so bad that [[spoiler:Hollom [[DrivenToSuicide jumps into the sea]]]].
* The main trait of 2nd Lieutenant Armitage in ''Film/SeventyOne'' who, in his first appearance, tries to timidly bond with the men he is meant to lead into Northern Ireland. While he does have a SergeantRock at his side, the former is knocked out while on a mission, leading to his entire unit being routed by an enraged mob, setting the events of the film in motion.

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* ''The Punisher Platoon'': 2nd Lt. Frank Castle wins the respect of his troops by actually being competent (and by admitting first thing that he's an EnsignNewbie, gets them to help him learn the ropes), and taking their advice into consideration before acting without ever being a suckup or condescending.

* ''Series/{{MASH}}'': Col. Henry Blake is a huge case of MildlyMilitary, a fine doctor but having neither the instinct nor the desire for command, he was somehow still put in charge of the 4077. Hawkeye and Trapper John run roughshod over him to get what they want, often while helping themselves to his hard liquor (though to be fair, they always make sure to pour for Henry, too). He also once notes of Burns and Houlihan that they go over his head so often that he has Athlete's Scalp. Even his company clerk, Radar, who sees him as a sort of TeamDad, will drink his booze and smoke his cigars behind his back. By comparison his replacement, Col. Sherman Potter, is regular Army, and while he can, and occasionally will allow the men to have a bit of leeway, recognizing that they're a medical, not a fighting, unit, he will not hesitate to pull the reins, kick keister, and give a bellicose bellow when the situation calls for it.

* ''Series/HogansHeroes'': Col. Klink and Sgt. Schultz are the hapless authority figures of Stallag 13. Though technically members of the Nazis regime, both have expressed disdain for the Nazi party, and lack the signature trademark cruelty of the Nazis and the SS. Klink thinks he's AFatherToHisMen, but that's because Hogan has him snowballed. Schultz, meanwhile, was a merry toymaker who got drafted, and largely turns a blind eye to Hogan's activities, unless doing so could get him shot. There's a reason his catchphrase is "I see NUSSINK! NUSSINK!"

'''Archer:''' I had a C.O. once who felt the same way. "They're your crew, not your friends." I thought about that a lot when I took this command, but then I realized [[BoldExplorer this]] is not a typical mission. We could be out here for years. [[TrueCompanions All we have to depend on is each other]].

This HardTruthAesop occasionally (though not exclusively) crops up in MilitaryAndWarfareWorks. It stresses that, while showing courtesy, benevolence and respect to those you command and even those who you fight is fundamentally a fine thing (and for regularly-adjusted people, certainly ''tempting''), doing so excessively and especially [[TurnTheOtherCheek in the face of willful insubordination]] will likely get you branded as a weakling instead of a respectable figure.

This HardTruthAesop occasionally (though not exclusively) crops up in MilitaryAndWarfareWorks. It stresses that, while showing courtesy, benevolence and respect to those you command and even those who you fight is fundamentally a fine thing (and for regularly-adjusted people, certainly ''tempting''), but doing so excessively and especially [[TurnTheOtherCheek in the face of wilful insubordination]] will likely get you branded as a weakling instead of a respectable figure.

-> '''Captain Aubrey''': A man pushed past you without making his obedience, yet you said nothing. Why?
-> '''Midshipman Hollom''': I intended to, sir, but... the right words just didn't-
-> '''Captain Aubrey''': The right words?! He was deliberately insubordinate.
-> '''Midshipman Hollom''': I've tried to get to know the men, sir, and be friendly, but... they've taken a set against me, always whispering when I go past and giving me looks. I'll set that right, sir. I'll be much tougher on them from now on.
-> '''Captain Aubrey:''' You don't make friends with the foremast jacks, lad. They'll despise you in the end. Think you weak.

This need not necessarily be tied to a character's military rank, but also otherwise a job, law, social class, family status, age or even species that invariably thrusts the character into a de jure position of authority - whether as a judge, a CEO, a pet owner or as a ''pater familias''. It's therefore often a characteristic of not just an EnsignNewbie, but many a PuppetKing, CluelessBoss or other NewMeat. Often, ThePeterPrinciple is to blame. Compare PushoverParents for when the relationship is familial and not just authoritative. In the religious sphere, TheVicar or another GoodShepherd can sometimes fall prey to this when his [[JesusWasWayCool new-age, trendy way of preaching to the youth about all the times Jesus was way cool]] utterly fails to [[ScareEmStraight strike the fear of God into their hearts]].

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** In ''Sharpe's Company'', Sharpe's commanding officer Colonel Windham is a cheerful UpperClassTwit whose relatively easy-going and trustful style is exploited by resident SociopathicSoldier Sergeant Obadiah Hakeswill, who proceeds to rob, rape and murder his way through the camp right under his nose. When Hakeswill frames Sergeant Harper for the theft of Colonel Windham's property, the latter [[MiscarriageOfJustice has Harper flogged without further investigation]] - and then proceeds to salute Harper for his bravery and reward him with a coin (proving that, if anything, Windham at least possesses a certain ''[[TheHeart emotional]]'' intelligence).

** [[AChildShallLeadThem Child king]] Tommen Baratheon I is a sweet-natured and trustful ruler, which prompts several other players like his queen mother Cersei, his wife Margaery Tyrell and the religious leader the High Sparrow to turn him into their PuppetKing. [[spoiler: It ends with Cersei winning the power struggle and Tommen being DrivenToSuicide]].

-->'''Reed''': Frankly, sir, from my point of view that kind of socializing has no place on a starship.
'''Archer''': I had a C.O. once who felt the same way. "They're your crew, not your friends." I thought about that a lot when I took this command, but then I realized [[BoldExplorer this]] is not a typical mission. We could be out here for years. [[TrueCompanions All we have to depend on is each other]].

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-->'''Hartsock''': ''"Maybe if you were in control of your men, instead of trying to be their best friend...[[PunctuatedForEmphasis They. Wouldn't. Need. Finding!]]"''

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* ''WesternAnimation/GravityFalls'': In the episode "[[Recap/GravityFallsS1E13BossMabel Boss Mabel]]", Mabel takes the reins of the Mystery Shack while Grunkle Stan is away on a TV contest and decides to be a more chummy boss instead of Stan's meanness (even betting Stan that she will make more money than him by following this tenet). Unfortunately, it goes way too wrong: Wendy, a huge slacker, [[TakingAdvantageOfGenerosity takes advantage of Mabel's generosity]] to get off from work and still get paid, Soos' ideas for marketing the Shack are awful, and Dipper decides to exhibit the real monsters of Gravity Falls instead of Stan's fakes, which puts two customers in the hospital and wrecks the Shack. Mabel is forced to put her foot down hard and yell at everybody like a drill sergeant to help fix things before Stan arrives, spending all of the money they earned (ironically, [[ExactWords she still won the bet]] - when all of the repairs were done one dollar remained, while Stan won nothing at the contest)

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--> ''An unenforced law is a contradiction in its own right, like a flame that doesn't burn.''