History Funny / VorkosiganSaga

-->'''Miles:''' I am not schizoid. ''(pause of consideration) A little manic-depressive, maybe.//
'''Duv:''' ''(dryly)'' Know thyself.//

'''Simon:''' Don't ever try that with Miles. [[NoJustNo Just... don't.]]

* Tung accuses "Admiral Naismith" of having delusions of grandeur:

* There's a RunningGag surrounding Lord Midnight, a horse that the fifth Count Vortala managed to make his official heir after the Count had a ''massive'' falling out with his own son. As Aral says, "claimed the horse was just as bright and had never betrayed him..." This being Barrayar, it isn't just an amusing historical anecdote but sets an actual legal precedent; it means Counts are able to chose their own heirs who aren't necessarily related to them by blood, rather than the eldest son or the closest male relative automatically inheriting. At one point, two of Miles' friends are using the case of Lord Midnight to either hold on to their title or claim it from a less worthy candidate, as are the antagonists. As Duv Galeni notes, the ruling can swing in favor of both parties.
** Miles asks history professor Duv Galeni about precedent for the situation he's in, and the usually quiet and serious Galeni immediately responds, "Lord Midnight the horse, who always voted 'neigh.'"

* There's a RunningGag surrounding Lord Midnight, a horse that the fifth Count Vortala managed to make his official heir after the Count had a ''massive'' falling out with his own son. As Aral says, "claimed the horse was just as bright and had never betrayed him..." This being Barrayar, it isn't just an amusing historical anecdote but sets an actual legal precedent; it means Counts are able to chose their own heirs who aren't necessarily related to them by blood, rather than the eldest son or the closest male relative automatically inheriting. At one point, two of Miles' friends are using the case of Lord Midnight to either hold on to their title or claim it from a less worthy candidate.

* There's a RunningGag surrounding Lord Midnight, a horse that the fifth Count Vortala managed to make his official heir after the Count had a ''massive'' falling out with his own son. As Aral says, "claimed the horse was just as bright and had never betrayed him..." This being Barrayar, it isn't just an amusing historical anecdote but sets an actual legal precedent, since it means Counts are able to chose their own heirs who aren't necessarily related to them by blood, rather than an eldest son automatically inheriting. At one point, two of Miles' friends are using the case of Lord Midnight to either hold on to their title or claim it from a less worthy candidate.

* Gregor going awooing in ''Memory''. His tactics include planning a luncheon four days in advance, and having the ''ideal'' horse for Laisa to ride flown in from three districts over. Miles's snarky internal commentary implies that the horse is doped up to prevent it from acting out and ruining the show, the animal itself was shampooed to within an inch of its life before Gregor let it anywhere near Laisa, and the Emperor is possibly using the excuse of giving her a boost into the saddle to cop a feel.

* Miles and Aral's encounter at the end of ''Memory'', when Miles points out that he has acquired one of the few titles (Imperial Auditor) that his father never did, and that neither had any of their ancestors.

* Cordelia accidentally setting her hair on fire in ''Shards Of Honor''.

** Bujold cites this exact problem when describing the writing process for ''Captain Vorpatril's Alliance'': the only way to keep Miles from taking over Ivan's book was to send Ivan to another planet. Naturally, when Ivan gets home, Miles calls him -- and while Ivan tries to ignore him, Miles uses his Imperial Auditor code to override being placed on hold, ''then'' forces Ivan and Tej to meet him and Gregor -- or have Aunt Alys forbid him. When Ivan worries about Miles crashing the Arqua/Vorpatril dinner party, she tells him she's ''quite'' capable of controlling her invite list. Not even Miles dares offend Vorbarr Sultana's GrandDame (and his mother's BestFriend).

----> "Who did he ''call''?"

-->'''Kareen's Thoughts:''' They looked like nothing so much as two guilty teenagers caught...hm. Like two guilty teenagers caught screwing on the living room couch, actually.

* IMiles and Ekaterin have fallen into a pond when Miles tries to have a TakeMyHand moment and utterly fails (due to his small size):

''Ivan:''' ''(sighs)'' God knows I try to be.

* Cordelia revealed in ''Gentleman Jole'' that one of the slanderous rumors about her was her sleeping with Alys. She scoffs that naturally it was untrue, but at least ''that'' rumor gave her the virtue of having good taste.
* During a mostly dramatic scene in ''Barrayar'', as Bothari talks about his childhood, raised by his abusive prostitute mother, Cordelia explains that Licensed Practicing Sexual Therapists on Beta Colony are considered providing a personal service on the level of a hairdresser, and are required to have a degree in psychology. Leading to the line,
--> '''Bothari:''' Only on Beta Colony does a whore need a bloody university degree.
* From ''Memory'', Illyan's list of the motivations of men: "Money, power, sex... and elephants." And the explanation that follows.
* Ivan is always trying to reassure himself that the problems that arise around him aren't his fault or responsibility, which makes it a Funny Moment in ''A Civil Campaign'' when Dono informs him that had he married him while he was still Lady Donna, all of the Vorrutyer succession issues would have been moot. He tells Ivan, "Yes, it's ''all your fault''." Ivan steams that Dono knows him ''way'' too well.
* There's a RunningGag surrounding Lord Midnight, a horse that the fifth Count Vortala managed to make his official heir after the Count had a ''massive'' falling out with his own son. As Aral says, "claimed the horse was just as bright and had never betrayed him..." This being Barrayar, it isn't just an amusing historical anecdote but sets an actual legal precedent, since it means Counts are able to chose their own heirs who aren't necessarily related to them by blood, rather than an eldest son automatically inheriting. At one point, two of Miles' friends are using the case of Lord Midnight to either hold on to their title or claim it from a less worthy candidate.
** Miles asks history professor Duv Galeni about precedent for the situation he's in, and the usually quiet and serious Galeni immediately responds, "Lord Midnight the horse, who always voted 'neigh.'"

--->"Have you considered starting an exercise program, Lady Vorkosigan?"

* Cordelia accidentally setting her hair on fire in ''Shards Of Honor''.
** Cordelia is in a cell when the ship she's on is attacked, and the artificial gravity cuts out along with the lights. After getting turned around, she finds a corner and huddle there until it's over or the ship goes down. The ship does not go down. ''She'', on the other hand...
--> Then the ship groaned about her, and the lights came back on.\\
Oh hell, she thought, this is the ''ceiling.''
** Later, when she escapes Beta Colony, she bluffs her way onto a ship claiming she's on a secret mission. When asked why she's wearing ''slippers'', she says, essentially, "Uh... it's ''classified''."
* During his recounting of the Tau Verde War at the end of ''The Warrior's Apprentice'', Miles pauses to take some antacid. His father borrows the flask and takes a hearty swig himself. One gets the impression that this will not be the last time that Miles will cause this reaction...
* The RunningGag of "What the ''hell'', Simon?" in ''Captain Vorpatril's Alliance'', culminated by [[spoiler: Gregor himself]].
** You have to wonder if Gregor secretly enjoyed the opportunity to be sarcastic behind closed doors with Illyan - Illyan sure thinks he did.
* Miles and Aral's encounter at the end of ''Memory'', when Miles points out that he has acquired one of the few titles (Imperial Auditor) that his father never did, and that neither had any of their ancestors.
-->'''Miles:''' I'm unprecedented!\\
'''Aral:''' [[DeadpanSnarker This is not news, Miles.]]

** Bujold cites this exact problem when describing the writing process for ''Captain Vorpatril's Alliance'': the only way to keep Miles from taking over Ivan's book was to send Ivan to another planet. Naturally, when Ivan gets home, Miles calls him -- and while Ivan tries to ignore him, Miles uses his Imperial Auditor code to override being placed on hold, ''then'' forces Ivan and Tej to meet him and Gregor.
** Or have Aunt Alys forbid him. When Ivan worries about Miles crashing the Arqua/Vorpatril dinner party, she tells him she's ''quite'' capable of controlling her invite list. Not even Miles dares offend Vorbarr Sultana's GrandDame (and his mother's BestFriend).
* The reunion of Miles and Bel Thorne in ''Diplomatic Immunity'' is quite amusing, as for the benefit of the onlookers, both of them have to casually pretend they don't know each other; after all, Bel worked with Admiral Miles Naismith for a number of years, but has never met Lord Miles Vorkosigan.
* In ''Gentleman Jole'', the gentleman in question told a story about the late Count Vorkosigan: After the Hegen Hub War, the Cetagandans kept sending flowery diplomatic notes to him, each anointed with up to a dozen scents, each of which had a hidden meaning, which generally combined to be an elaborate insult. After a while, Aral got sick of it, took the latest note to the bathroom, added his own scent, and had Jole return it. After which the Cetagandans stopped sending insulting notes and actually participated in hashing out a peace treaty.
* Miles being forced to explain to the quaddies in ''Diplomatic Immunity'' that no, the fact that he's referred to as speaking with the Emperor's Voice doesn't mean the Barrayarans think Emperor Gregor's voice is literally coming out of Miles's mouth.
* When Cordelia buys Mark a ship to head to Jackson's Whole to rescue Miles, Simon - who thinks Mark may try to make sure Miles comes back a corpse - starts arguing with her. Cordelia expertly crushes every one of his statements, essentially saying, "Well, if you think that's true, maybe you should find Miles ''first''?" When Simon hangs up, Cordelia is GenreSavvy enough to know who will be calling in a few moments. She's unsurprised when Emperor Gregor calls her; he bemusedly tells her not to rile up Simon so much (before he lets Mark have his rescue attempt.) Later, Mark tells Miles he missed watching Cordelia thoroughly "annihilate" TheDreaded {{Spymaster}} Illyan.
* Mark is quick to point out that his parents gave his older brother a whole ''fleet'' to play with!

[[folder:Cryoburn]]
* Miles finds a Barrayaran official who has had enough of his behavior:
-->'''Miles:''' My case budget allows for a lot of discretion, you know.\\
'''[[BeleagueredBureaucrat Vorlynkin:]]''' Then I wish you'd ''buy'' some!
* After Roic saves the day [[Awesome/VorkosiganSaga stunning a hostage-taker at point-blank.]]
-->'''Leiber:''' You're pretty free with that thing.\\
'''Roic:''' It's all right. I have a [[Film/JamesBond license to stun.]]\\
'''Leiber:''' I thought that was supposed to be a license to kill.\\
'''Roic:''' That, too. But you would not believe all the forms that have to be filled out, afterward.

* In ''Captain Vorpatril's Alliance'' when Ivan goes to Count Falco Vorpatril [[spoiler: to get out of his emergency marriage of convenience with Tej]]:

* ''Captain Vorpatril's Alliance'' has a whopper of one at the climax. [[spoiler: Beginning with, "Guy...has [=ImpSec=] HQ always been sort of... tilted up on one side?", and ending with Simon's total failure to disguise his glee at learning that [=ImpSec=] HQ will have to be replaced.]]

* From ''The Vor Game'':
-->"Damn," said Elena in a hushed voice. "If I didn't know you, I'd think you were [[TheCaligula Mad Yuri]]'s understudy. The look on your face... am I reading too much into all that innuendo, or did you in fact just connive to assassinate Gregor in one breath, offer to cuckold him in the next, accuse your father of homosexuality, suggest a patricidal plot against him, and league yourself with Cavilo — what are you going to do for an encore?"
-->"Depends on the straight lines. I can hardly wait to find out," Miles panted.
* Arde Mayhew's horrified realization, in ''The Warrior's Apprentice'', that Miles' almost manic energy was his normal state, and not the result of the stimulant drink the two had been sharing. This is magnified by the fact that Elena, who knew Miles from infancy, did not notice ''anything'' odd about his behavior when chugging amphetamines for days on end save for a degree of insomnia.
* Gregor going awooing in ''Memory''. His tactics include planning a luncheon four days in advance, and having the ''ideal'' horse for Laisa to ride flown in from three districts over. Miles's snarky internal commentary implies that the horse is doped up to prevent it from acting out and ruining the show, the animal itself was shampooed to within an inch of its life before Gregor let it anywhere near Laisa, and the Emperor is possibly using the excuse of giving her a boost into the saddle to cop a feel.
* Ivan reflecting on Simon Illyan's only secret vice, so to speak:
--> They had somehow got on to just what Illyan did and did not recall or miss from his memory chip, at which point Ivan had learned just ''where'' the largest and most arcane [[spoiler:pornography collection]] on Barrayar had been secreted...\\
''It's not as if I acquired most of it on purpose'', Illyan had protested. ''But the damned chip didn't allow me to delete anything, whether I picked it up inadvertently or in a moment of bad mood or bad judgment or bad company, and then I was stuck with it forever. Or in the line of work, oh, God, those were the worst. Do you have any'' idea ''how many truly appalling surveillance vids I had to review in forty years...?''
* In the epilogue of ''Captain Vorpatril's Alliance'', Mark [[spoiler:buying the former [=ImpSec=] HQ and turning it into a tourist trap.]]
* The opening scene of ''Diplomatic Immunity,'' where Miles is looking at "baby pictures" of Aral and Helen in their replicators. The only problem is, Miles is basically watching his sperm go into his wife's egg, which manages to be simultaneously heartwarming, hilarious, and just a little bit creepy.
-->'''Ekaterin:''' Ah, admiring your sperm again, I see.\\
'''Miles:''' And your excellent egg, my lady!
* In ''Memory'' Miles intrudes on the convalescent Simon Illyan sharing breakfast with a startlingly ''deshabille'' Lady Alys in his bedroom and completely fails to draw the obvious conclusion - possibly because he thinks of them as 'Aunt' and 'Uncle'. Or maybe because neither is at all embarrassed. Even funnier is when the penny finally drops as he watches the couple dance several evenings later.
--->''Good God. Illyan is sleeping with my aunt.''
** And then later, Ivan's reaction to his mother's new...paramour:
--->'''Miles''': You don't need to bellow.\\
'''Ivan:''' I am not bellowing. I'm being firm.\\
'''Miles''': Could you please be firm at a lower volume?\\
'''Ivan''': No. Simon Illyan is ''sleeping with my mother'', and it's your fault!
* In ''The Warrior's Apprentice,'' Tung accuses "Admiral Naismith" of having delusions of grandeur:
-->'''Tung:''' Who do you think you are? Lord Vorkosigan? [[note]]He meant Aral, whom Tung idolizes; still, Miles almost chokes on his food. Tung is also unaware that Aral is now Count, and that "Lord" now applies to his son.[[/note]]

[[folder:The Vor Game]]
* Miles has been tasered into unconsciousness by cops and sold onto an indentured servant ship in the middle of a mission far from Barrayar. he has a variety of exciting hallucinations. Then he comes to and sees his foster brother, [[TheEmperor Gregor]], on the same ship with him:
--->A face wavered into view. A familiar face.\\
"Gregor! Am I glad to see you," Miles burbled inanely. He felt his burning eyes widen. His hands shot out to clench Gregor's shirt, a pale blue prisoner's smock. ''"What the hell are you doing here?"''\\
"ItsALongStory."
* Emperor Gregor's cover name, probably reflecting his [[DespairEventHorizon mood]]: Greg Bleakman.

* Miles's attempt to a yes-man for [[TheEmperor Emperor]] Gregor in ''Memory'', which consists of him answering everything with "Yes, Sire," until Gregor (who is, fortunately, also Miles's foster brother) tells him to stop.

* Not that Cordelia finds it funny, but this troper had to put down ''Barrayar'' and laugh for a good five minutes at the Barrayaran doctor's advice after she's just surgically given birth, hiked across a good amount of countryside while on the run from an enemy faction that wants to kill her and her family. Her feet are bloody, she has scars from her surgery, and she's severely malnourished and dehydrated. His advice?
--->"Have you considered starting an exercise program, Lady Vorkosigan?"
** A little later in the same novel, Cordelia combines a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome with CMOF by "going shopping."
** Several books -- and roughly thirty years in-story -- after Cordelia's CMOA, Ekaterin suggests to Miles that they go shopping. Miles can only quip, "That's an offer seldom made to the son of my mother..."
** Jole brings it up to Cordelia in ''Gentleman Jole'', and she essentially retorts that she brought ''one'' body part back from a trip ''once'' and [[NeverLiveItDown people have never stopped bringing it up]].
* From ''Falling Free'':
---> '''Bannerji''': What are you doing with ''that'', Dr. Yei?\\
'''Dr. Yei''': Applying psychology. ''(Whacks Van Atta on the back of his head with a wrench.)''\\
'''Bannerji''': Dr. Yei, if you're trying to knock a man out you've got to hit him a lot harder than that.\\
'''Dr. Yei''': I didn't want to risk killing him...\\
'''Bannerji''': Why not?
** Also, the reason she gave for borrowing the wrench in the first place: "To adjust an attitude."
* Miles' debut as Imperial Auditor in ''Memory'' is worth several chuckles.
** When Gregor sees Miles for the first time following a major epiphany, Miles is decked out in his house uniform and [[BlingOfWar all of the medals he's earned over the years]]. Gregor's immediate action is a choked, "Good God."
** When Ivan finds out:
--->'''Ivan''': ''(indicating the elaborate gold chain and seal around Miles' neck)'' My God. Is that ''real''?\\
'''Miles''': You want to try to peel off the foil wrapping and eat the chocolate inside?
** As Miles arrives at [=ImpSec=] headquarters:
--->'''Miles''': ''(to the gate guards)'' Good afternoon, gentlemen. Please get on your comconsole and tell General Haroche that the Imperial Auditor is here. I request and require him to meet me in person at his front gate. Now.
--->'''Guard''': Aren't you the same fellow we threw out of here this morning?\\
'''Miles''': Not exactly, no. Note, please, that I am not trying to enter your premises. I have no intention of throwing you into the dilemma of trying to choose whether to disobey a direct order, or else commit an act of treason. But I do know it takes approximately four minutes to physically get from the Chief's office to the front gate. At that point, ''your'' troubles will be over.\\
''(Four minutes, twenty-nine seconds elapse.)''\\
'''Miles''': Good afternoon, General.\\
'''Haroche''': Vorkosigan. I told you not to come back here.\\
'''Miles''': Try again.\\
'''Haroche''': ''(staring at the Auditor's chain and seal)'' That can't be real.\\
'''Miles''': The penalty for counterfeiting an Imperial Auditor's credentials is death.\\
'''Haroche''': ''(voice cracking)'' My Lord Auditor.
** Shortly afterwards in Haroche's office, Haroche comments on Miles' BlingOfWar:
--->'''Haroche''': ''(somewhat plaintively)'' Vorkosigan, tell me — ''is'' that really a Cetagandan Order of Merit?\\
'''Miles''': Yeah.\\
'''Haroche''': And the rest of it?\\
'''Miles''': I didn't clean out my father's desk drawer, if that's what you're asking. Everything here is accounted for, in my classified files. You may be one of the few men on the planet who doesn't have to take my word for it.
*** To understand why Haroche was so intimidated, understand that for a junior Barrayaran officer (actually, ex-Barrayaran officer by this point) to have a Cetagandan Order of Merit would be like a junior US officer having a [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hero_of_the_Soviet_Union Hero of the Soviet Union]] award.
** And then, later on, Miles and Illyan take a boat out fishing. When they are unsuccessful, they decide to use [[NoKillLikeOverkill a stunner rejiggered into an improvised bomb]].
*** And in ''Komarr'', Miles ponders on waiting for inspiration, and how it is less like hunting and more like fishing. Then he ''remembers the last time he went fishing''.
** Simon had earlier voiced suspicions about the piscine population of the lake:
--->'''Simon''': Do you suppose all the fish in your lake have been stolen?\\
'''Miles''': They'd have to catch 'em first.
* In ''Komarr'', after Miles and Ekaterin have their TakeMyHand moment into the pond:
-->'''Ekaterin''': ''(faintly)'' Oh, drat.\\
'''Miles''': ''(mildly, after a meditative pause)'' Madame Vorsoisson, has it ever occurred to you that you may be just a touch oversocialized?
* Also from ''Komarr'': When Tien's creditors call Ekaterine, Miles [[spoiler:blithely jumps into the call and forwards them to [=ImpSec=]]] to get rid of them.
-->'''Ekaterin''': Now, was that nice?
* This exchange from ''Cryoburn'':

* Aso in ''Cryoburn'' after Roic saves the day [[Awesome/VorkosiganSaga stunning a hostage-taker at point-blank.]]

* In one of the books, Ivan gripes about the trouble Miles causes for "innocent bystanders." Miles asks if he considers himself part of that class. Ivan sighs, "God knows I try to be."

* What the '''Shopping Trip''' from ''[[Literature/VorkosiganSaga Barrayar]]'' is to Awesome, the '''[[GambitPileup Dinner Party]]''' from ''A Civil Campaign'' is to Funny.

* Of course, since ''A Civil Campaign'' has the secondary title: "A Comedy of Manners and Biology", the above are but a few of many. For example:
** For some reason, Mark's line earlier in the book never fails to make me laugh every time I read it:
---> '''Mark''': I wasn't questioning her fitness. That was merely a random noise of surprise.
*** In fact, both Mark and later Cordelia both remark that Miles made Ekaterin sound like a ''horse'', not a potential partner, whilst at one point when discussing her new employer with her relatives Ekaterin herself notes with some embarrassment that she sounds like someone defending buying a horse against veterinary advice.
** A popular (among Tropers) character-defining moment for Miles, when Simon Illyan visits Ekaterin a few days after the Party:
--->'''Simon:''' Do you know all those old folk tales where the count tries to get rid of his only daughter's unsuitable suitor by giving him three impossible tasks?\\

'''Simon:''' Don't ever try that with Miles. Just...don't.
** Ivan bludgeoning his way through Miles' guards to deliver a list of chores from Lady Vorpatril.
--->'''Ivan:''' My strength is great because my cause is just. My mother has sent me a list of chores for you as long as my arm. With footnotes.\\

** "Who in the world could [Nikki] be calling on the comconsole?"[[note]]Emperor Gregor Vorbarra, on his direct unlisted #.[[/note]]
*** Followed shortly by the reaction to the [[SecretPolice Imperial Security fast-reaction squad]] showing up at the front door.

** Richars attempting to repeat the slander that Miles killed Ekaterin's husband so that she would be forced to marry him. Ekaterin begins to engage him. The speaker then objects to the chaos, but Aral gives him a signal that Miles interprets as "No, no. Let him [[HoistByHisOwnPetard hang himself]]." Ekaterin then ''proposes to Miles'', and after Miles stumblingly accepts, she gives one last middle finger to Richars with a single word: "''Twit.''"
** Ekaterin and Gregor's [[RefugeInAudacity ironic, outlandish solution]] to a subplot that's mentioned twice in the entire book. She proposes the solution, he makes it an Imperial Decree.

** Miles grandstanding as he resolves the problem with Dr. Borgos' extradition to Escobar.
** Kareen Koudelka wondering why her parents are so uncomfortable with the presence of an old sofa in Lady Vorkosigan's study:
--->'''Kareen's Thoughts:''' They looked like nothing so much as two guilty teenagers caught...hm. Like two guilty teenagers caught screwing on the living room couch, actually.
* Also from ''A Civil Campaign'', when Dono discovers how much it hurts [[GroinAttack to get kicked in the balls]].
* Miles's attempt to a yes-man for [[TheEmperor Emperor]] Gregor in ''Memory'', which consists of him answering everything with "Yes, Sire," until Gregor (who is, fortunately, also Miles's foster brother) tells him to stop.
* Miles suffering from an outbreak of limericks in the middle of an official poetry-recitation ceremony in ''Cetaganda'' probably also qualifies.
* During the {{Denouement}} of ''Cetaganda'', we have Ivan's exasperation over Miles nearly getting himself killed. Again.
-->'''Ivan:''' The last thing Aunt Cordelia said to me before we left was, "And ''try'' to keep him out of trouble, Ivan."\\
Miles could hear Countess Vorkosigan's weary, exasperated cadences quite precisely in Ivan's parody.
* Miles suffering from an outbreak of ''[[Theatre/RichardIII Richard The Third]]'' on [[MotorMouth fast forward]] after being [[MushroomSamba doped to the eyeballs]] with [[TruthSerum fast-penta]]. And in general Miles's... ''[[MushroomSamba interesting]]'' reactions to fast-penta.
* In ''The Vor Game'', Miles has been tasered into unconsciousness by cops and sold onto an indentured servant ship in the middle of a mission far from Barrayar. he has a variety of exciting hallucinations. Then he comes to and sees his foster brother, [[TheEmperor Gregor]], on the same ship with him:
--->A face wavered into view. A familiar face.\\
"Gregor! Am I glad to see you," Miles burbled inanely. He felt his burning eyes widen. His hands shot out to clench Gregor's shirt, a pale blue prisoner's smock. ''"What the hell are you doing here?"''\\
"ItsALongStory."

--->'''Ivan:''' My strength is great because my cause is just. My mother has sent me a list of chores for you as long as my arm. With footnotes.
--->'''Miles:''' Your determination is relentless because you're more afraid of [[IronLady your mother]] than you are of my guardsmen.
--->'''Ivan:''' So are you. So are your guardsmen.

* Aso in ''Cryoburn'' after Roic saves the day [[Awesome/VorkosiganSaga stunning a hostage taker at point blank.]]

** Moments beforehand (as [[CitizenshipMarriage Immigration]], the local cops, and the landlord are tring to get past the barricaded apartment door):

** Even better, when Falco asks Tej if Ivan's been... less than satisfactory in bed, Tej resorts to open praise of Ivan's bedroom abilities in a Barrayaran court. Falco murmurs, "Lucky man". Later, Ivan gets a card from a female lawyer, who tells him to call her after his marriage has been dissolved.

-->'''Tung:''' Who do you think you are? Lord Vorkosigan? [[note]]He meant Aral, whom Tung idolizes; still, Miles almost chokes on his food. Tung is also unaware than Aral is now Count, and that "Lord" now applies to his son.[[/note]]

-->'''Miles:''' I'm unprecedented!
-->'''Aral:''' [[DeadpanSnarker This is not news, Miles.]]

** Or have Aunt Alys forbid him. When Ivan worries about Miles crashing the Arqua/Vorpatril dinner party, she tells him she's ''quite'' capable of controlling her invite list. Not even Miles dares offend Vorbarr Sultana's GrandDame (and his mother's best friend).

--> '''Bothari:''' "Only on Beta Colony does a whore need a bloody university degree"

** Miles asks history professor Duv Galeni about precedent for the situation he's in, and the usually quiet and serious Galeni immediately responds, "Lord Midnight the horse, who always voted 'nay.'"

** Miles asks history professor Duv Galeni about precedent for the situation he's in, and the usually quiet and serious Galeni [[NotSoAboveItAll immediately]] responds, "Lord Midnight, who always voted nay."

** Miles asks history professor Duv Galeni about precedent for the situation he's in, and the usually quiet and serious Galeni [[NotSoAboveItAll immediately]] responds, "Lord Midnight, who always voted neeeeigh."

* There's a RunningGag surrounding Lord Midnight, a horse that the fifth Count Vortala managed to make his official heir after the Count had a ''massive'' falling out with his own son. As Aral says, 'Claimed the horse was just as bright and had never betrayed him...' This being Barrayar, it isn't just an amusing historical anecdote but sets an actual legal precedent, since it means Counts are able to chose their own heirs who aren't necessarily related to them by blood, rather than an eldest son automatically inheriting. At one point, two of Miles' friends are using the case of Lord Midnight to either hold on to their title or claim it from a less worthy candidate.

* There's a RunningGag surrounding Lord Midnight, a horse that the fifth Count Vortala managed to make his official heir after the Count had a ''massive'' falling out with his own son. As Aral says, 'Claimed the horse was just as bright and had never betrayed him...' This being Barrayar, it isn't just an amusing historical anecdote but sets an actual legal precedent about Counts being able to chose their own heirs who aren't necessarily related to them by blood, rather than an eldest son automatically inheriting.

* There's a RunningGag surrounding Lord Midnight, a horse that the fifth Count Vortala managed to make his official heir after the Count had a ''massive'' falling out with his own son. As Aral says, 'Claimed the horse was just as bright and had never betrayed him...' This being Barrayar, it isn't just an amusing historical anecdote but sets an actual legal precedent about Counts being able to chose their own heirs, rather than an eldest son automatically inheriting.

*** In fact, both Mark and later Cordelia both remark that Miles made Ekaterin sound like a ''horse'', not a potential partner.