History Funny / VampireHunterD

** Previously, Doris has allowed D to drink her blood, but D pushes her away before he loses control over his vampiric urges. Left Hand, not pleased with this, sasses back.

* Anytime D's Left Hand (a.k.a. Lefty) chastises D in the original film for still trying to resist his vampiric urges.
** First, Left Hand teases D for helping Doris and counselling Dan.
--->'''Left Hand''': [laughing] Feeling moody today, are we? You're not acting like yourself: protecting this girl, counselling her brother, and offering advice. It's almost as though you have a heart. Don't tell me that you've fallen in love.\\
'''D''': That's enough, old fool.\\
'''Left Hand''': Of course she did offer you her body, didn't she? Not that you'd be interested in that. The only bodies that you're interested in are dead Nobles stacked up like cordwood! Poor D, fated to live a life drenched in blood and carnage. Are you jealous for the warmth of a real human being?

--->'''Left Hand''': [laughing] You can't fight your lineage, can you? Deny it all you want, but when push comes to shove, the fangs are coming out!\\
'''D''': That's enough.\\

'''D''': I wonder, do I really need two hands?\\
'''Left Hand''': Fine. My lips are sealed.
** Previously, Doris allows D to drink her blood, but D pushes her away before he loses control over his vampiric urges. Left Hand, not pleased with this, sasses back.
--->'''Left Hand''': Why can't you at least be honest with yourself? So your blood is cursed. That girl was ready for it to rise to the occasion! The great and powerful dhampir, you know what your father would have done!\\
'''D''': That's enough.\\
'''Left Hand''': Yeah, yeah, whatever...

--->'''Left Hand''': [while reattaching himself] Here... we... go. I swear, this guy is such a handful.

--->'''Left Hand''': [panicking] Not good... come on, time to wake up already! Get a grip, D! Snap out of it-- [[OhCrap Ooh! Here it comes! It spotted us!]] Wakey wakey! Rise and shine! [resorting to pounding D's chest] Just move, dammit! Now is not the time to sleep in. [[PunctuatedPounding Wake! Up! You big LUMMOX!]] Come one! Move! Move, dammit! Mmmmmove!\\

'''Left Hand''': Well, we made it through that one somehow.

--->'''Left Hand''': What ''would'' you do without me??? ''[beat]'' Don't answer that.
* ''Bloodlust'' has a few, usually involving Lefty. Of particular note is the scene after D gets knocked off of Meier Link's carriage and drags his hand on the ground to steady himself. Left Hand's response?
-->'''Lefty''': UGH! MY NOSE! MY NOOOSE!
* Lefty isn't pleased that its advice is ignored:
--> '''Lefty''': Yeah, well, what's the sound of one hand yapping...
* And, of course, the last line of the film:
--> Well, that was nice. You're not so bad after all... ''you just dress bad''.

** Previously, Doris allows D to drink her blood, but D pushes her away before he loses control over his vampiric urges. Left Hand, not pleased with this, sasses back at D for this.

* Left Hand (a.k.a. Lefty) chastises D in the original film for still trying to resist his vampiric urges, even after being given permission by the GirlOfTheWeek to drain her. He also teases him when he uses his fangs to suck the blood from the Midwich Medusas:
-->'''Left Hand''': [laughing] You can't fight your lineage, can you? Deny it all you want, but when push comes to shove, the fangs are coming out!\\

** The scene where Lefty slaps D to stir him from stillness.
--->'''Left Hand''': WAKE! UP! YOU! BIG! LUMMOX!
** His response once D comes to and slays the incoming mist monster.
--->'''Left Hand''': Well, we made it through that one somehow.

-->'''Left Hand''': [laughing] You can't fight your lineage, can you? Deny it all you want, but when push comes to shove, the fangs are coming out!"\\
'''D''': "That's enough."\\
'''Left Hand''': "Someone's feeling grumpy. Too bad, it's still your destiny."\\
'''D''': "I wonder, do I really need two hands?"\\
'''Left Hand''': "Fine. My lips are sealed."

--->'''Left Hand''': "WAKE! UP! YOU! BIG! LUMMOX!"

-->'''D''': "I wonder, do I need two hands?"
-->'''Left Hand''': "Very well, my lips are sealed."

-->'''Left Hand''': "WAKE! UP! YOU! BIG! LUMMOX!"

-->'''Left Hand''': Well, we made it through that one somehow.

-->'''Left Hand''': What ''would'' you do without me??? ''[beat]'' Don't answer that.

* Left Hand (a.k.a. Lefty) chastises D in the original film for still trying to resist his vampiric urges, even after being given permission by the GirlOfTheWeek to drain her.

-->'''Left Hand''': What ''would'' you do without me? (''beat'') Don't answer that.

:: And, of course, the last line of the film:
--> Well, that was nice. You're not so bad after all... you just dress bad.

--> '''Lefty''': Yeah, well, what's the sound of one hand yapping...

* Left Hand, in the original film, chatises D for still trying to resist his vampiric urges, even after being given permission by the GirlOfTheWeek to drain her.

** The scene where Left Hand slaps D to stir him from stillness.

* ''Bloodlust'' has a few, usually involving Left Hand. Of particular note is the scene after D gets knocked of off Meier Link's carriage and drags his hand on the ground to steady himself. Left Hand's response?
-->'''Left Hand''': UGH! MY NOSE! MY NOOOSE!

--> Well, that was nice. You're not so bad after all. ...you just dress bad.
* Left Hand isn't pleased that its advice is ignored:
--> '''Left Hand''': Yeah, well, what's the sound of one hand yapping...

-->'''D''': "Damn you. Do you ''want'' me to cut you off?"
-->'''Left Hand''': "... I'll be good."

--->'''Left Hand''': UGH! MY NOSE! MY NOOOSE!

--->'''Left Hand''': UGH! MY NOSE! MY NOOOSE!