History Funny / PiratesOfTheCaribbeanTheCurseOfTheBlackPearl

** Johnny Depp's dry response to Elizabeth suggesting they escape the island - "unless you have a rudder and a lot of sails hidden in that bodice" - which is even funnier if you go meta and know that Keira Knightley openly jokes about how much they padded [[BigBraToFill her bra and airbrushed cleavage]]. On the DVD commentary, she also points out the one scene she wasn't padded.

-->'''Will:''' How did Jack get off the island?
-->'''Gibbs:''' Well, I'll tell ya. He waded out into the shallows and he waited there three days and three nights, and all manner of sea creatures came, acclimating to his presence. And on the fourth morning, he roped himself a couple of sea turtles, lashed 'em together and made a raft.
-->'''Will:''' ''(deadpan)'' He roped a couple of sea turtles.
-->'''Gibbs:''' Aye, ''sea'' turtles.
-->'''Will:''' What did he use for rope?
-->'''Gibbs:''' Ah...
-->'''Jack:''' Human hair. From my back.

* The scene where [[BumblingHenchmenDuo Pintel and Ragetti]] tell Will about his father and what they did to him is very dark and serious, and then they finish up. Keep in mind that up until this point Pintel had been very growly and serious:

* The scene where [[ThoseTwoBadGuys Pintel and Ragetti]] tell Will about his father and what they did to him is very dark and serious, and then they finish up. Keep in mind that up until this point Pintel had been very growly and serious:

-->'''Gibbs:''' Ay, ''sea'' turtles.

-->'''Mullroy:''' I think he's telling the truth...

* During the final battle on Isla de Muerta, Will and Elizabeth skewer three undead pirates together, stuff a lit bomb into the middle one's empty ribcage, then push the three out of the moonlight, effectively trapping the bomb within the pirate's newly reformed flesh. The unfortunate fellow's "No fair!", followed by the ensuing explosion, was magnificent.

* Will throws a sword at Jack; it pins in the door next to his face and Jack's eyes widen. You can just see him thinking. "''I almost died.''"
** Weaponless Will pulls a hot iron out of the fire to fight. The donkey lets out a little moan and tries to walk away because Jack had prodded the poor creature with the hot iron.

--> '''Jack:''' ''[in skeleton form, examining his own hand]'' That's interesting. ''[starts walking the medallion across his fingers and grins at Barbossa]'' Couldn't resist, mate.

* When Jack arrives at the treasure cave as Barbossa prepares to kill Will, the pirates are cheering. Then they slowly fall into silence as Jack (who Barbossa dumped on a desert island to die just the previous day) politely pushes his way to the front, and Barbossa is left staring.
-->'''Barbossa:''' It's not possible! \\
'''Jack:''' Not ''probable''.
** When Jack tells Barbossa he doesn't want to kill Will and then mutters "your funeral" and steps back, Barbossa rolls his eyes before asking what he means. It's an expression that says "I know I'm going to regret asking, but I have to"
** Before Jack starts to explain he slaps the hand of a pirate holding his shoulder.
* During Elizabeth's kidnapping, a cannon-ball comes flying through the window and hits a poor unfortunate soul, knocking him through a door (and down a set of stairs that can be briefly seen ''behind'' the door). Elizabeth, Pintel and Ragetti just ''stare'' as it flies past them.

** Especially hilarious since in the shot just prior, Elizabeth used the same phrase while rambling about the very same crew.
* Jack convinces Barbossa to ally by promising to give him twenty-five percent of his plunder. (And a really big hat.) It seems to be the thought of a really big hat that wins Barbossa over.

-->'''Elizabeth:''' Whose side is Jack on?\\

--> "Mr Sparrow, I'm not sure I've had nearly enough rum to allow that kind of talk."

--->'''Pirate:''' You're s'posed to be ''dead!''\\

-->'''Jack:''' Pearly! ''(winces, that's not it)'' Perlelilalulela...!
-->'''Pirates:''' ''(look confused)''
-->'''Jack:''' ''(quietly to himself)'' Parsley? Partner? Partner...
-->'''Ragetti:''' Parley?
-->'''Jack:''' ''(brightly)'' That's the one! Parley. Parley!
-->'''Pintel''' ''(gives Ragetti a DeathGlare)'' Parley? Damn to the depths whatever muttonhead thought of parley!
-->'''Jack:''' That'd be the French.

-->'''Jack:''' The French. Latin-based, of course. Inventors of mayonnaise.
-->'''Pintel:''' I like mayonnaise!
-->'''Jack:''' [[Film/BennyAndJoon Obsessed with raisins. Humiliated grapes, really.]] Think about it! ''(makes odd gesture)''
-->'''Pintel:''' Don't know.
-->'''Jack:''' Seen a bit of the French. ''(whistles)'' Eunuchs, all of 'em.
-->'''Pirate:''' That's not right.
-->'''Pintel:''' I used to date a eunuch.
-->'''Jack:''' [[Series/TheFastShow I'll get me coat.]]

--> '''Bo'sun''': Did it work?\\

--> '''Elizabeth:''' That's ''it''?
--> '''Barbossa:''' Waste not.

--> '''Gibbs''': BLAST! I'm already awake!\\

->'''Norrington''': Good work, Mr. Brown. You've assisted in the capture of a dangerous fugitive.
->'''Brown''': Just doing my civic duty, sir.

* During Elizabeth's kidnapping, a cannon-call comes flying through the window and hits a poor unfortunate soul, knocking him through a door (and down a set of stairs that can be briefly seen ''behind'' the door). Elizabeth, Pintel and Ragetti just ''stare'' as it flies past them.

* On the Dauntless Jack first shows his propensity for adverbs:

* The scene where [[BumblingHenchmenDuo Pintel and Ragetti]] tell Will about his father and what they did to him is very dark and serious, and then they finish up. Keep in mind that up until this point Pintel had been very growly and serious:

** Bonus points for how entranced [[ThoseTwoGuys the guards]] seem in his story.

* The scene where [[ThoseTwoBadGuys Pintel and Ragetti]] tell Will about his father and what they did to him is very dark and serious, and then they finish up. Keep in mind that up until this point Pintel had been very growly and serious:

** Even better is that the audience is led on to thinking he's standing proudly on an actual ship...only to be revealed to be a dinghy with a sail that's got a leak. That honestly further accentuates the sinking moment above.

'''Jack''': No, ''that'' one I deserved.

* Jack Sparrow's [[EstablishingCharacterMoment entrance into Port Royal]], standing proudly atop the mast of his ship... [[RevealShot which is mostly underwater as he enters the port]], and sinks completely just as he casually walks on the dock.

--> '''Jack:''' ''[in skeleton form, examining his own hand]'' That's interesting... ''[starts walking the medallion across his fingers and grins at Barbossa]'' Couldn't resist, mate.

** When Jack tells Barbossa he doesn't want to kill Will and then mutters "your funeral" and steps back, Barbossa rolls his eyes before asking what he means. It's an expression that says "I know I'm going to regret asking, but I have to..."

'''Jack''': I'm not sure I deserved that...
-->'''Jack''': Giselle!\\
'''Giselle''': Who was she?

'''Scarlett''': [[WrongNameOutburst Who was she?]]\\

** "'Must have been terrible to be trapped here, Jack. Must have been terrible for you'--WELL IT BLOODY IS NOW!"

* When Jack arrives at the treasure cave as Barbossa prepares to kill Will, the pirates are cheering. Then they slowly fall into silence as Jack (who Barbossa dumped on a desert island just the previous day) politely pushes his way to the front, and Barbossa is left staring.

* When Jack arrives at the treasure cave as Barbossa prepares to kill Will, the pirates are cheering. Then they slowly fall into silence as Jack politely pushes his way to the front, and Barbossa is left staring.

** He then pays the man three shillings in return for not giving him his name... only to steal his coin purse as he leaves.

** Norrington and some British Marines burst in immediately after this, and credit said blacksmith for stopping Jack while Will gets no acknowledgment whatsoever for his heroism.

* Jack getting hit by a bottle after his big sword fight with Will. As Johnny Depp keeps the same straight face when he falls over.

** Even better is the pirate's reaction to Jack being alive.

''[Barbossa rolls his eyes and up and shoots Pintel where his heart should be; nothing happens]''\\

* Jack Sparrow's entrance into Port Royal, standing proudly atop the mast of his ship... [[RevealShot which is mostly underwater as he enters the port]], and sinks completely just as he casually walks on the dock.

* Jack convinces Barbossa to ally by promising to give him twenty-five percent of his plunder. (And a really big hat.)

-->'''Jack Sparrow:''' Of course it does!